[Sadly, this post is a couple of days late -- Ed.]
Scenario: you hear a song you like on the radio [TV, movie, etc.] from an artist you're not sure about, so you purchase the single track ["single"] from the iTunes Music Store. Maybe later you hear the next "single" from that album and decide to purchase that track as well. Soon, you read on a blog [hear from a friend, etc.] that the whole album is pretty decent, and you decide you'd like to give it a try. You go back to the iTMS, click on "Buy Album", and iTunes pops up a message telling you that you've already purchased one or more singles from the album, and that if you continue with the purchase, you will be charged for those tracks again, and those tracks will be downloaded again. I have been frustrated more than once by this odd behavior from a music store whose raison d'etre is to allow the music consumer to purchase music a la carte.
Well, last Thursday [29 March], the iTunes Music Store rolled out what may be the coolest feature they have ever added. "Complete My Album" ["CMA"] eliminates the problem noted above and allows the consumer to, well, "complete my album" by purchasing only the remaining un-bought tracks. Even cooler, there is no price premium for doing this -- the cost to complete the album is the cost of the album less the cost of the individual tracks already purchased.
Don't worry about this as a privacy issue -- the iTMS must keep track of your purchases [you did know that the iTMS keeps track of all of the music, TV shows, etc., purchased using your user account, didn't you??? -- Ed.] to enable portability of the iTMS library across multiple "authorized" computers. It's a very cool feature that I can assure has saved me frustration and made me a happier iTMS customer in only a couple of days.
CMA is pretty cool, but it's still pretty new, and there seem to be some bugs still to be worked out. One very odd bug involves "pre-ordered" albums. Many "albums" on the iTMS are available for "pre-order", ordering before the official release date of the album. Typically, Apple insists that "pre-order" albums include the immediate availability of the first "single", as well as bonus material, such as extra non-album singles, music videos, etc. -- some of which even disappear from the album when it is officially released. When the customer "pre-orders" the album, the customer is charged for the "single" at the time of purchase [and the single is downloaded immediately]. When the album is officially available, the iTMS sends an email to the customer with a link to download the "rest" of the album, which is charged at the time of download.
I have pre-ordered several albums, because I know I want to buy the album, and I appreciate the bonus materials. And, of course, I have later downloaded the "rest" of those albums. But oddly, CMA still offers me the chance to "complete my album" by purchasing the non-pre-order components.
Other weird behavior I have seen is that CMA duplicates some of my CMA-eligible album choices. Some of my albums appear in my CMA 2 or 3 separate times -- each time indicating the same previously-purchased track.
One last thing that bothers me a bit but is a "feature" and not a "bug" is a time limitation on CMA. Consumers can CMA for up to 180 days after purchasing the first "single", although for 90 days from launch CMA is retroactive for everything the consumer has already bought from the iTMS [got that??? -- Ed.] Ostensibly, the purpose of CMA is to goose sales of full albums on the ITMS, as CD sales in the physical world continue to dive, and consumers have shown some reluctance to purchase albums on the iTMS after paying for a single or two. If this is the case, I don't see how limiting the window to 6 months will capture every last album sale [and I don't see the downside of making it a "permanent" "option"]. But that probably is plenty of time for most people, who will probably know long before that whether they want to shell out for the rest of the album.
So, kudos to Apple and the record companies for making it easier for us to spend a little more money on music we have "discovered".
Apple iTunes offers "Complete My Album" [AP, via seattlepi.com]
iTunes Store Trying To Make Nice With Record Labels [Idolator]
Saturday, March 31, 2007
This Week In The iTunes Music Store [31 March 2007 Edition]
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
This Week In Tonight In American Idol [28 March 2007 Edition]
8:55 PM: Top Ten Results Nite is here! We're still holding out hope that Sanjaya will go this week...
9:00 PM: Ryan says "THIS...is AMERICAN IDOL..."
9:01 PM: Ryan says "I've been 'Sanjaya-ed'..."...He's wearing the "ponyhawk" that Sanjaya was wearing last nite...
9:02 PM: OMG -- we actually get a "recap" of last nite...maybe they can't sell commercial time these days...
9:04 PM: Again, we're not getting the "group number"
9:06 PM: The Ford commercial...
9:07 PM: Blake Lewis: SAFE!
9:08 PM: LaKisha Jones: SAFE!
9:08 PM: Phil Stacey: BOTTOM 3!
9:09 PM: Melinda Doolittle: SAFE!
9:09 PM: Chris Richardson: SAFE!
9:10 PM: Sanjaya Malakar: SAFE! NO!!!
9:10 PM: Haley Scarnato: BOTTOM 3!
9:10 PM: Jordin Sparks: SAFE!
9:11 PM: Chris Sligh and Gina Glocksen are maybe in the BOTTOM 3! We'll find out after the break!!!
9:15 PM: This week's "Idol Challenge":
"Which of these Idol finalists from Birmingham, Alabama, was nicknamed "The Velvet Teddybear"?
a) Bo Bice
b) Ruben Studdard
c) Taylor Hicks
[duh...]
9:17 PM: Gwen Stefani and Akon perform "The Sweet Escape"...
Gwen looks like she raided Haley's wardrobe for those hot pants...
And she sounds like she raided Sanjaya's voice-drobe for that vocal...
OMG! Gwen with her heels is taller than Ryan with his heels!!!
9:25 PM: Chris Sligh: BOTTOM 3! Gina Glocksen: SAFE!
9:26 PM: Phil Stacey: SAFE!
9:27 PM: Ryan asks the judges -- Haley or Chris Sligh -- who's going home? Simon: "...it's 'bye bye curly'..."
9:27 PM: Haley: SAFE!
Chris Sligh is going "Home"...
9:29 PM: Ryan tells us next week's theme is "the music of Tony Bennett"...
9:29 PM: Chris Sligh gets to sing part of "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic" for the last time...
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
This Week In Tonight In American Idol [27 March 2007 Edition]
7:55 PM: Top Ten nite is here. Our mentor tonite is Gwen Stefani. The announced theme is supposedly "songs from the 90's", but if the rumor boards are correct, someone has a weird temporal definition of "the 90's". Many of the leaked song selections are from the 80's and even the late 70's. But I guess we'll all see soon enough.
UPDATED: The DialIdol numbers are now in...keep reading...
8:00 PM: Another gimmicky thing we're doing tonite -- AI will run from 8:00 to 9:07, in order to harsh on Dancing With The Stars' buzz.
8:01 PM: Ryan tells us the theme is: "No Doubt songs and songs from the bands that inspired them". So, "whatever the hell the singers want". Gwen tells the Idols that some of her favorite artists are not known for their "singing" but more for their "style" or "personality". Sort of like Gwen Stefani [ooh, snap!!! -- Ed.].
8:03 PM: First up tonite is LaKisha "KiKi" Jones. KiKi is performing Donna Summer's "Last Dance".
Of course, KiKi nails the vocal. Many Idol watchers keep saying KiKi and Melinda will eventually have to get out of their comfort zones. But not this week, obvs.
Randy: "...i liked the uptempo choice...that was hot..."
Paula: "...that was great!..."
Simon: "...you're 30 years younger this week...Great way to get it started...great vocal..."
I love what the Idol stylists have done with KiKi over time. She has been looking great every week. And all the judges love her knee-high boots this week.
8:11 PM: Next up is Chris Sligh. Chris is performing The Police's "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic". Gwen cautions him about getting off the beat.
As he starts, he seems a little weak...and...a little behind the beat.
He does sound a lot like Sting on this performance tho. But his being off the beat is really bothering me. He's both behind and ahead. It's disconcerting.
Randy: "...good song choice...rhythmically, you and the band were at different tempos..."
Paula: "...stay in the pocket...good song choice...the beat was off..."
Simon: "...that was a mess...it was all over the place...that song didn't represent you...I'M NOT FINISHED YET!!!"
Chris recognizes that he made a poor song choice for his style, but he was committed and it was too late to change.
8:16 PM: Next up is Gina Glocksen. Gina is taking on The Pretenders' "I'll Stand By You". Gwen and I agree -- it's a great choice for Gina's style.
Great effort, but very pitchy. The audience really seems to love it, tho.
Randy: "...one of your best performances ever...you've got that great voice -- just believe and choose good songs -- that was a good song for you..."
Paula: "...really was your best performance so far..."
Simon: "...it wasn't 'one of your best performances'...[audience boos]...it was YOUR BEST PERFORMANCE so far...it's all about believing in who you are......best of the nite..."
8:25 PM: Next up is Sanjaya Malakar. Sanjaya is performing No Doubt's "Bathwater".
This is a HUGE mistake!!! Or, maybe not.
This is horrible!!!
And WTF is up with that fauxhawk???
Randy is laughing again.
Randy: "...i'm speechless everytime...you actually can sing, dude, just put it out there..."
Paula: "...it's like, 'c'mon, man'..."
Simon: "...obviously, there's no mirror in your dressing room...it doesn't matter what we say anymore, obviously...you're in your own universe...good luck..."
8:29 PM: Next up is Haley "how nekkid can I be this week" Scarnato. Haley is performing Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors". Gwen warns her not to run too far with it.
Haley is wearing a little black dress that exposes only about 2/3 of her thighs. So, conservative for her.
I thought that was okay.
Randy: "...you really didn't grab me with it..."
Paula: "...Gwen was right, you don't need to do much with that song...but you look great..."
Simon: "...sweet but forgettable...any female vocalist could do that...nothing to remember...you need to do better..."
8:37 PM: Next up is Phil Stacey. Phil is performing The Police's "Every Breath You Take".
Phil is wearing a hat again tonite. Idol watchers have been taking careful note of Phil's hat-no-hat choices, but it hasn't seemed to matter much in the results.
Phil sounds more like Sting than Chris Sligh did. But they both sound eerily like Sting.
Randy: "...i liked that...solid..."
Paula: "...a good choice...work on the verses...a good performance..."
Simon: "...this may surprise you, Phil, but I thought that was pretty good...the first time in the last few weeks I've felt that you were taking this seriously and trying to win this competition..."
8:41 PM: Next up is Melinda Doolittle. Melinda is performing Donna Summer's "Heaven Knows". Gwen thinks Melinda is the best singer in the competition, and doesn't think she can give Melinda any advice.
Nailed it, 'course.
KiKi and Melinda are so head-and-shoulders above everyone else that I fear they will suffer on the high expectations that they set for themselves with their performances.
Randy: "...you do what a professional does, you get in the lyrics and you live the song..."
Paula: "...you're so joyful when you're singing..."
Simon: "...not your best vocal, but outstanding as usual...hate the outfit..."
8:49 PM: Next up is Blake Lewis. Blake is performing The Cure's "Love Song", via 311. Gwen warns him to tone down the beat boxing.
Randy: "...i'm not sure it was the perfect song choice...i liked it but i wasn't jumping up and down..."
Paula: "...i liked what you did with this song...you're making this competition hip and contemporary...you're the dark horse..."
Simon: "...the best male in this competition...you are like Chris Daughtry -- be careful not to be too indulgent...definitely the leading male in this competition..."
Blake was OKAY tonite. He may very well be the best male in the competition, but that bar is very low. Keep that in mind.
8:53 PM: Next up is Jordin Sparks. Jordin is performing No Doubt's "Hey Baby". Gwen says Jordin made the song sound more "musical" than it is.
I'm not digging this performance, and as I suspected, it was a bad choice.
Randy: "...that was risky...you could sing anything, you'd be a great recording artist..."
Paula: "...you're adorable, and i love seeing you like this..."
Simon: "...you are the most improved contestant over the last few weeks...but i thought that was a bit copycattish..."
I think the judges went easy on her. I was not impressed with that performance at all.
8:59 PM: Oh, look -- it's time for House. WAIT -- Chris Richardson is still left to perform. Chris is performing No Doubt's "Don't Speak".
I told my sister this could be a dark horse for the vocal of the nite.
And there are parts of it that sound like Justin Timberlake covering No Doubt. But not enough. Meh.
Randy: "...very interesting...I liked the R&B / ska combo...not your best, but that was good..."
Paula: "...you're good..."
Simon: "...i liked the arrangement, but i didn't like the vocal...i think you need to pay more attention to your vocal right now..."
10:ish PM: After reviewing my notes and the performances, my "vote" for the Bottom 3 is: 8-9) Chris R., Chris S.; 10) Sanjaya.
I don't believe that these 3 will actually end up in the Bottom 3. I don't believe we'll see 3 men in the Bottom 3, and I'm not sure Sanjaya will be there.
If you're looking for a woman who could slide down this week, I would propose: a) Haley -- Even though Haley did alright this week, she is living on borrowed time and is always in danger of being "on the edge"; b) Gina -- even though Gina also did alright this week, her raves could assist in her downfall -- she got such good reviews that her fan base may be overconfident in her safety this week.
We'll be back later with the DialIdol numbers.
UPATED 12:00 AM: the DialIdol numbers are now in. Here's what people who only have a "land line" think about Tuesday night's performances: 1) Melinda Doolittle; 2) Chris Richardson; 3) Lakisha Jones; 4) Sanjaya Malakar [!!!]; 5) Gina Glocksen; 6) Phil Stacey; 7) Blake Lewis; 8) Haley Scarnato; 9) Jordin Sparks; 10) Chris Sligh.
DialIdol is calling the "'top 4' 'safe'" tonite. Obviously, we'll need to see what Ryan tells us on Wednesday nite.
See you then.
ciaobaby
Odds & Sods [27 March 2007 Edition]
[image courtesy Alaina Alexander Music on MySpace]
* Actual "professional singer" Alaina Alexander -- remember her??? -- realizes 4 weeks too late that Katharine McPhee, Antonella Barba, and Haley Scarnato may be on to something with this whole "rock your body, distract from your vocals" thing. [TMZ]
* American Idol rethinks that whole "songs of the 90's" theme, takes my sister's advice on "sing whatever the hell you want" theme; Gwen Stefani scared shit-is-bananas-less that Sanjaya will sing "Just A Girl". [Defamer, Idolator]
* At the YouTube Video Awards -- and I am not making that up -- OK Go's "Here It Goes Again" wins the award for "Most Creative". Sadly, it did not win the award for "they so totes ripped off that 'treadmill' thing from that Jamiroquai video from like ten years ago". [MollyGood]
* New Fall Out Boy video for "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs" sets record for combined number of product placements and monkeys. [Stereogum]
[anyone recognize the "love interest"? it sorta looks like Kim Kardashian -- Ed.]
This Is Why We Don't Love American Newsweeklies [27 March 2007 Edition]
[image mashup courtesy Eat The Press]
[disclosure, blah, blah, blah -- Ed.]
Time has joined Newsweek in determining that Americans who are retired or go to the dentist can't handle the truth. Or, perhaps, would rather read about Paris Hilton than, yaknow, things that might be like, all bad-news and shit.
Read all about it after the jump...
The image montage above shows covers from Time US and three other international editions of Time. One of these things is not like the others, eh???
What do Time editors from around the globe think their readers need to know? The cover story everywhere else is that Taliban and al-Qaeda leaders [mostly] in "the tribal regions" of Pakistan have succeeded in creating their own virtual "non-state" "state" free of control from either the Pakistani or Afghan governments. "Remote, tribal and deeply conservative, the border region is less a part of either country than a world unto itself, a lawless frontier so beyond the control of the West and its allies that it has earned a name of its own: Talibanistan." It's a very interesting -- and disturbing -- story, and you can read about it on US Time's website -- but not in US Time magazine -- here.
Sadly, this is not the first time our newsweekly overlords have determined we in the US just can't handle the truth. Back in September, Newsweek did the same thing with a related story and cover that postulated that the NATO allies were "Losing Afghanistan". Here's that cover montage fun:
[image courtesy Wonkette]
Here are Wonkette, Gawker, and TruthOut on the "Losing Afghanistan" cover story...story.
Then, Newsweek did it again in October, with an international story about the effects of global warming that was, well, apparently not hot enough to make the US mag. Here's that cover montage fun:
[image courtesy Wonkette]
Here is Wonkette on the Global Warming story.
Oh, and just because they wanted to be dicks, apparently, Newsweek did it yet again in October with a story about North Korean leader Kim Jong Il.
Rachel Sklar wants you to know that she's had enough of this bullshit.
Why does the American media think the big depressing stories need to back-burnered in favor of stories about celebrity and "social controversy"? Sadly, I think we all know the answer to that question.
Whatever moves the most copies. Sigh.
*****
Take a look back at that first montage above. The international editions feature a story about "Talibanistan". The US edition features a story titled "Why We Should Teach The Bible In Public School".
Maybe one of these things really is like the other things after all.
This Is Why We Love Idolator [27 March 2007 Edition]
It's been a while since we last ran a "This Is Why We Love..." post. It's not because we don't love anything -- it's just that the mood hasn't quite struck us for a while.
That's why we were so happy to see the following item in Idolator's most recent edition of "On The Shelf", Idolator's Monday preview of this week's new CD releases:
" Various Artists, Now That's What I Call Music 24
The artists: Pop's heavy hitters, plus Lily Allen.
The sound: All the hits you got sick of hearing in Walgreen's four months ago ("My Love," "Irreplaceable").
The first in line: The still-surprisingly high number of people who have never heard of iTunes. "
*****
This DHMBIB feature debuted back in November with a post about Idolator's "Who Charted?" wrap-up of the chart success of the previous installment in the Now! series [which wrap-up made the same "heh! heh! these songs are OLD!!!" and "gosh, some people still don't get their music from iTunes while it's popular??? for realz???" jokes, just sayin' -- but the classics are still the classics -- Ed.]. It came back in January with a look at Idolator's OTS.
Now, we love us some Idolator and "Who Charted?" and "On The Shelf" here at the men's shelter DHMBIB headquarters, but we've decided to rename this feature and run it more frequently, spotlighting some other sites we love as well.
xoxo
Thursday, March 22, 2007
META: This Week In "This Week In American Idol" [22 March 2007 Edition]
Join us for a quick wrap-up of this week's American Idolatry, after the jump...
TUESDAY: Sanjaya Malakar is so bad, he even makes little girls cry:
After butchering "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" during last Tuesday's "performance show", most viewers assumed hoped that Sanjaya Malakar could not do any worse.
After the 'fro-and-break-dancing-filled bastardization of Modest Mouse's "Float On" during last Wednesday's "results show", most viewers assumed hoped that Idol could not do any worse.
Sadly, we gave neither Sanjaya nor Idol enough credit.
Sanjaya on Tuesday put on what I am calling the worst performance I have ever seen in the Finals. In case you missed it:
I'm sorry. I'm truly, truly sorry.
My theory has been that Sanjaya knew he was "on the ropes" and decided to "go for it". And I applaud his energy. But that vocal???
Put simply, that vocal was an aural "fuck you!" to his critics, which is pretty much everyone.
Here is what some of the other Idol watchers thought about that...that...[shiverzzzz]:
" If last week's Ford-sponsored bastardization of Modest Mouse's "Float On" delivered a point-blank gut-shot to popular music vulnerable belly, then Sanjaya Malakar's (whom we previously believed to be just a harmless, tone-deaf--yet alarmingly well-coiffed!--kid, but now realize is the earthbound emissary of some vengeful god sent to destroy us all) Tuesday night Idol performance of The Kinks' "You Really Got Me" stood astride its body as it lay bleeding in the gutter, rolled it over so that it could bite the curb, and then delivered the swift kick to the back of its head that finally ended its suffering. The strong of stomach can relive the harrowing ordeal through the clip presented above, in which an adorable little girl's salty tears stood in for those streaming down the collective cheeks of America on the night of music's grisly televised execution. "
Sanjaya Malakar And The Death Of Music [Defamer]
" WITH DIAMOND DAVE AS PETER NOONE: Okay, let's get this out of the way right off the bat: Sanjaya was terrible. He performed the Kinks' "You Really Got Me," only it was more like the Van Halen version of "You Really Got Me," only it was really more like what Velvet Revolver's version of "You Really Got Me" might have been like if Weiland was actually an overexcited teenager who liked to stick out his tongue a lot. Sure, he made that one girl cry (nice homage to the Ed Sullivan days there!), but we didn't exactly have dry eyes, either, because we know that he's going to survive for at least another week, thanks to Randy and Paula being charmed by all the "fun" he was having. "
Idolator's American Idolatry: The Little Girls Are The Only Ones Who Understand Sanjaya [Idolator]
" Contrary to what the cynics say, some people on American Idol can actually sing. That gal Melinda Doolittle can sing the lights out. But the Sanjaya Malakar Era needs to come to an end. Tonight. This has become an urgent national priority. His performance last night should have ended with an arrest. Animals have perished with more harmonious death rattles. Chickens who have been captured and beheaded on stumps have showed better dance moves.
" The deeper philosophical question: Can a person sing so badly as to ruin the original? Or has "You Really Got Me Now" been slimed forever? "
Bring Me the Head of Sanjaya Malakar [WashingtonPost.com]
Not everyone thought it was that bad. WaPo teevee blogger Lisa de Moraes -- who definitely should know better -- thinks this was one of the better performances of the nite:
" Noone tells Sanjaya he looks more like a Herman's Hermit than a Kink and if he wants to win the competition he should sing "I'm Into Something Good," only then he says maybe Sanjaya had better sing "You've Really Got Me" by the Kinks. Sanjaya sings the Kinks' song and, while we know saying this probably means we need to adjust our meds, Sanjaya's performance is one of the better ones of the evening. "
No Sir Paul, but Plenty of Nostalgia on 'Idol' [Washington Post]
TUESDAY: What was the deal with that crying girl???
Okay, Sanjaya didn't actually make that girl cry because he was terrible. That girl actually was crying because she loves Sanjaya.
No, seriously.
The Los Angeles Times tracked down that young lass. She is 13-year-old Ashley Ferl. Ashley and her family were in town to attend the taping of Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?, but their passes also got them in the audience at Idol's afternoon dress rehearsal. Ashley cried there too, and the producers decided they needed to bring her back for the live show for dramatic effect.
Ashley's favorite Idol contestant: "Sanjaya, Melinda, Gina and Jordin". Awww, but only one can win -- who do you want it to be? "All four: Sanjaya, Melinda, Gina and Jordin".
WEDNESDAY: Time for the "results show". Wait, you mean it's over already???:
Did you catch the "results show" on Wednesday? Well, if you blinked, you probably missed some key parts of the "show" -- but you most likely did not miss any of the commercials.
Veteran Idol watchers surely noticed that two staples of "results show" nite were missing from Wednesday's show -- the opening "group" number, and the "last hurrah" number from the departing contestant. In shows past, only booted contestants who had performed atrociously on the "performance show" were not allowed to sing one more time before a national audience [IIRC, Kellie Pickler was once such contestant]. But last night, they seemed to have legitimately run out of time. [I address the lack of a group number below.]
How did they run out of time? Even Ryan quipped that they might not be able to get it all in last nite.
WaPo teevee blogger Lisa de Moraes breaks it down for you here. The long-story-short: commercials. de Moraes tallied up a full 15 minutes of commercials in last night's broadcast -- and de Moraes rightly counts towards that number the "music video" [Ford commercial], the Brad Garrett shtick [Fox commercial], and the "Idol Cares" and "Idol Challenge" bits [commercials for Idol/Fox]. Toss in 2 mentor performances -- twice the usual number -- and there's not much room for, ya know, the Idols themselves.
Fox knows that they have an audience of about 30 million people watching, and if Cingular and J.C. Penney insist on paying Fox a lot of money to sell goods and services to those people, I can't begrudge Fox for taking the loot. But c'mon -- HALF THE DAMN SHOW???
THURSDAY BONUS #1: Fox, Idol, still pissed off at Paul McCartney, blame Heather Mills:
[This item contains a lot of "rank speculation" and should be taken with a whole lotta salt -- Ed.]
Tuesday night's theme was supposedly "The British Invasion", although that misnomer is a little misleading. Tuesday's set list included: 3 songs from Shirley Bassey [LaKisha, Jordin, Melinda], whose "invasion" of the U.S. was not very successful; 2 songs from The Zombies [Blake, Chris S.]; and 1 song each from The Exciters (not even British!!!) [Haley]; Peter Noone / Herman's Hermits Gerry And The Pacemakers (sorry -- Ed.) [Chris R.]; Dusty Springfield [Stephanie]; The Nashville Teens (actually British!!!) [Phil]; The Kinks [Sanjaya]; and The Rolling Stones [Gina]. Notice a big whole in that set list???
Tuesday's theme was supposed to be "The Music Of Paul McCartney", and the mentor was supposed to be Paul McCartney. These things normally need to be scheduled some time in advance, of course. So what happened on Tuesday?
Here's my theory. ABC, which planned to debut the new season of Dancing With The Stars the nite before Paul Mac was scheduled to be on American Idol, decided that a great way to goose ratings would be to talk Heather Mills into appearing on the show. Paul knew this would get a lot of ink before his big nite and peevishly pulled out at the last minute. And, he not only took his ball -- he took his songs with him. This forced Idol to scramble to come up with a last-minute theme-and-mentor replacement. Who might be available on such short notice? Peter Noone! LuLu! If Paul pulled out within the last week -- after rehearsals had already begun? -- Idol might need 2 mentors to lighten the mentoring load on the compressed time frame. That would also provide an explanation for why there was no group number on Wednesday -- there was no time to rehearse.
Fox is peeved at ABC for their success with DWTS -- this is supposed to be Fox's time of the season [pun intended] -- and they're possibly also peeved at ABC for driving Paul away. So how will Fox get back at ABC? Fox has announced that next Tuesday's "performance show" broadcast will run from 8:00 PM to 9:07 PM, cutting 7 minutes into DWTS's first "results" show of the season.
Niiiice!
This week's mentor is Gwen Stefani. I have not seen an announcement of a "theme" -- "the music of Gwen Stefani" would not be a good idea. Gwen and Akon will perform "The Sweet Escape" on Wednesday.
It should be an interesting week.
THURSDAY BONUS #2: 14:59...14:58...14:57...:
Ashley Ferl began her post-Idol media blitz today with an appearance on The Today Show. Defamer has a brief clip, but it's not embeddable here. If you care to see it, head here.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
On The Internet, Nobody Knows You're A Dog, btw [21 March 2007 Edition]
This is one of my favorite truisms jokes about the Internet. It first appeared in the 5 July 1993 issue of The New Yorker. [wait -- "the Internet" has been around since 1993??? -- Ed.]
[Thanks to this site for the pic, which helpfully also has a magnified screen grab of the monitor (scroll down).]
And now, thanks to an interesting -- and, alas, long-overdue -- decision announced today by Gawker Managing Editor Choire Sicha, now on the Internet, everyone will know whether "this is Balk, btw" or that is "Rhymes with Memily".
Regular readers of Gawker [DHMBIB raises hand!], Gawker Media's [GM] flagship blog about media and New York -- or any of GM's blogs -- are familiar with GM's signature unsigned "royal 'We' " style of posting in the third-person-plural. Even though most GM sites have multiple editors and contributors, this anonyfiction has allowed each site to present its snarky opinions as if they were those of "the site" instead of the individual contributors. It also has encouraged GM's active commenter community to play a game of speculating who authored any particular post -- a game encouraged along by Gawker Editor Alex Balk's occasional interjections of "[this is Balk, btw]".
But in an out-of-the-blue post this morning, Gawker Managing Editor Choire Sicha announced that henceforth -- or at least until the policy is changed -- Gawker's posts will be bylined.
GM clearly does not have a corporate policy on this. Most of their sites are not bylined, and there is precedent for going the other way. Back in the "1.0" days of Wonkette [GM's politics-and-DC blog], only posts not written by founding editor Ana Marie Cox were bylined -- all others were supposed to be understood to be hers. Even though AMC's signature style -- who can forget the glory days of the "ass-fucking" and "Butterstick" tags??? [not related, you Last-Tango-In-Paris-thinking pervs!!! -- Ed.] -- could not be mistaken, AMC's policy was to let her readers know when someone else was posting on her site.
[Ana Marie Cox is still so revered by regular Wonkette readers that she is still listed as "Wonkette Emerita" on the site, even though her contract with Time (hey! blogging about disclosures!) surely limits her ability to post there...unless she's writing about "ass-fucking" or "Butterstick"...or both -- Ed.]
After AMC left Wonkette barely a year ago, the new editors of "Wonkette 2.0" -- David Lat and Alex Pareene -- announced as their first editorial decision that they were elminating bylines. Since then, all posts on Wonkette -- even those written by "guest editors" -- have gone "un-bylined", thus being attributed instead to "Wonkette". Wonkette's policy remains in place to this day. [N.B.: David Lat left Wonkette last summer. Alex has since been joined by Ken Layne from another part of the GW corporate family for "Wonkette 3.0" -- Ed.]
Contrast that with this interesting editorial judgment over at GM's music blog, Idolator. Several months ago, quite famously, Idolator editors Brian Raftery and Maura Johnston called out the anonymous author of the music blog Gerard vs. Bear for refusing to identify him[?]self. Like Wonkette's editors, Brian and Maura do not byline their posts, but they do identify themselves as editors. Their beef with "Gerard" was that "he" would not even identify himself -- making it impossible for readers to make editorial judgments about potential conflicts-of-interest in his posts -- even though "Gerard" 's [75% -- "75%", because "Gerard" does also post "his" own opinions about music matters] raison-d'etre appeared to be calling out other music bloggers on conflicts-of-interest. [Sadly, such conflicts are notorious in the world of music blogs. This public spat is what led us to make our own disclosures when we started DHMBIB 2.0 back in December 2006 -- Ed.]
So, while Idolator is calling on "Gerard" to identify himself -- without identifying themselves, post-wise, Wonkette has gone one way, and Gawker has now gone the other way. Now, one can make an argument either way about whether posts should be individually bylined for conflicts-of-interest purposes, or whether group-blog opinions -- and, consequently, conflicts-of-interest -- should be attributed to all editors of a site.
All of this is very "inside baseball", as either Brian or Maura [see how difficult this is??? -- Ed.] Idolator would say, and I probably wouldn't be writing about this, except for Sicha's curious pronouncement today, and GM's own conflicted history about this.
So, I wonder -- what prompted Sicha's change-of-heart today?
GM commenter "Chief Wahoo" speculated -- jokingly, I hope and assume -- in the announcing post that this change related to "Gawker" nominating GM boss Nick Denton in their "Worst Bosses" "contest".
But Eat The Press editor Rachel Sklar has a different idea.
Sklar posits that this is all a CYA thing for...wait for it...Sicha himself! As Sklar notes, Sicha used to work for GM, left GM to work for the New York Observer, and has recently returned. Any anonyposts about the NYO are thus automatically questionable. Plus, there's that whole "you're real journalists not just snarkers" thing GM has to deal with. Can you imagine the outcry that would result -- from sites like Gawker -- if CBS [for example] were to read its news with an unidentified "voice" instead of with "Katie Couric"?
What's my opinion about all this? Well, I respect and appreciate bloggers taking personal responsibility for their posts. I can understand why group-blog sites would want all of their posts to be "of the site", but I have greater respect for the notion of standing proud for one's words.
I applaud Sicha's decision -- even though either he or his bloggers were not taking [unsigned] it [unsigned] seriously [unsigned] by the end of the day.
I'm also curious -- will this be the new GM policy for all GM sites??? Or does this only apply to sites that might be, yaknow, conflicted about something???
*****
This post marks the debut of a new "feature" for DHMBIB. Future posts tagged "On The Internet, Nobody Knows You're A Dog" will focus on topics such as "you can't believe everything you see on the Internet" or "one of these things is not like the others", for example.
This Week In Tonight In American Idol [21 March 2007 Edition]
9:00 PM: Top 11 Week Results Show is here...
9:04 PM: After last night's recap, Peter Noone sings "There's A Kind Of Hush All Over The World".
It's better than anything any of the guys have sung all season long.
9:11 PM: This week's Idol group "Ford commercial" is a cover of Sam Cooke's "It's Another Saturday Night". As I've said before, American Idol could do worse than having a "Sam Cooke" week.
9:12 PM: The very unfunny Brad Garrett is in the house. NEXT!
[Brad Garrett is in the house to pimp his show "Til Death", which -- what a coincidence!!! -- airs immediately after tonight's results show... -- Ed.]
9:12 PM: The first person to leave tonight is...BRAD GARRETT!!!
9:12 PM: Okay, the real eliminations...Phil Stacey, Melinda Doolittle, Blake Lewis...SAFE!
9:13 PM: Next...Chris Sligh, LaKisha Jones, Jordin Sparks...SAFE!
9:14 PM: Next...Sanjaya Malakar, Haley Scarnato, Gina Glocksen...SAFE!
9:15 PM: Next...Stephanie Edwards, Chris Richardson...BOTTOM 2!!!
9:20 PM: Time for this week's "American Idol challenge". Which of these American Idols has recently been cast in "The Color Purple" on Broadway?:
a) Fantasia Barrino
b) Paris Bennett
c) Vonzell Solomon
[If you were watching THREE FUCKING WEEKS AGO, you would know the answer -- Ed.]
9:22 PM: LuLu sings the theme from To Sir With Love.
It's better than anything any of the guys have sung all season long.
9:26 PM: Ryan pimps the "Idol Cares" thing again...My sister and I agree that we coulda been outta here already...
9:28 PM: Stephanie and Chris R. are on the hot seat. Chris Richardson is...SAFE! Stephanie Edwards is GOING HOME!!!
Ryan tells us that "over 30 million votes" were cast this week.
Not only did DialIdol not have this right -- they had Stephanie in 8th place, and Chris Richardson in 7th place -- America did not have this right. The worst three performances of the night were not even in the Bottom 2!!!
AWESOME!!!
We are subjected to another week of SANJAYA MALAKAR!!!
Come back next week -- if you dare...
This Week In Last Night In American Idol [21 March 2007 Edition]
Faithful DHMBIB reader "KG" sends in the following report:
" I watched idol last night. Baldy, Rocker Girl or Sanjaya are on their way home. I thought maybe that girl who was crying during Sanjaya's performance looked like she was being stalked by a serial killer. It was truly disturbing to watch. "
Yes, dear faithful reader "KG". It was "disturbing". Very disturbing.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
This Week In Tonight In American Idol [20 March 2007 Edition]
7 :55 PM: Top 11 Week is here. And I haven't heard what this week's theme is....
UPDATED: The DialIdol numbers are now in, and once again, we hope they're way off base...
8:00 PM: I'm not diggin' Ryan's Spring suit...It's still evening -- he should be in darker colors...
8:02 PM: What do the judges think for tonite?
Randy: "they need to bring their game tonite, dude!"
Paula: "they need to imagine Simon without any clothes on..."
Simon: "Paula, is that what you think about???"
8:03 PM: Tonite's theme is: "60's British Invasion"! Awesome!!! I hope someone sings "Pictures of Lily" or "Mother's Little Helper"!!!
Our "mentors" this week are LuLu and Peter Noone. Ohhhh, this is gonna suck big time!!!
8:06 PM: First up is Haley Scarnato. Haley is performing The Exciters' "Tell Him". Haley is in full-on sex-kitten mode tonite -- she's obviously a DHMBIB reader. Check out that short skirt those short shorts and those legs!!!
Hey, that was actually pretty good!!!
Randy: "that was the perfect song choice...America, Haley's back in the competition!!!"
Paula: "that was perfect!"
Simon: "it was fun...young...a bit shrieky in the middle...i think people are gonna be talking about a lot more than your singing tonite..."
8:16 PM: Next up is Chris Richardson. His "goal this week is to finally nail a song". WHOA!!!
Peter Noone warns Chris not to get caught in "the vibratto". WHOA!!!
Chris is performing Peter Noone's Gerry And The Pacemakers' [sorry -- Ed.] "Don't Let the Sun Catch You Crying".
Hey, I like Chris. And I like Blake. But there's only room for one of them.
That was O-KAY. Just O-KAY.
Randy: "that was another great performance...that was beautiful...one of your best vocals yet!"
Paula: "the whole thing was very sexy, charming..."
Simon: "Chris, i think that was your best performance ever...a little bit nasaly, but very good..."
That was good -- for the guys. But their bar is very low -- don't forget that.
8:26 PM: Next up is Stephanie Edwards. Stephanie is singing Dusty Springfield's "You Don't Have To Say You Love Me".
That was FUCKING BRILLIANT!!!
Randy: "it wasn't your best song choice...a little pitchy for me..." Randy gets booed.
Paula: "you look great...missed a few notes...i want you to go back and have fun..."
Simon: "i think you're losing your edge...it was a bit night-clubby...it was a little old for you...i wasn't crazy about it..."
8:38 PM: Next up is Blake Lewis. Blake is performing The Zombies' "Time Of The Season".
Blake only picked this song so he could do his "human beat box" thing on the song's sound effects.
Blake, this is getting old.
Again, that was O-KAY.
The bar is really low for the men tonite.
Randy: "...massive 'yo' factor...much 'props' to you..."
Paula: "you have really raised the bar..."
Simon: "a MILLION times better than last week...you made the song contemporary without messing with the melody..."
8:42 PM: I WILL SHOOT MYSELF IF I EVER HEAR RYAN SEACREST ASK AGAIN: "What's your name? Who's your daddy?"...
Seriously...
8:48 PM: Next up is LaKisha Jones. LaKisha is torn between "Diamonds Are Forever" and "You're My World". LaKisha eventually decides on Shirley Bassey's "Diamonds Are Forever".
Okay, people -- let's get real about this. Some people think Melinda is a better singer than LaKisha. But no one -- NO ONE -- is more confident on stage than LaKisha.
This is a two-singer competition. Let's not kid ourselves.
Back to the performance...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???
Randy: "I didn't feel enough 'LaKisha' in it...it was just ai'ight for me..."
Paula: "I thought that was a great song [translation: 'you look beautiful']..."
Simon: "we know you are a fabulous singer...however, this was LaKisha in 50 years...it wasn't my favorite performance...it was too old, too old fashioned..."
Ryan: "Hey, Cowell! What DON'T you like about this dress?"
Simon: "Your subject!"
Okay, this "you're gay-er than I am" thing has jumped the shark.
8:55 PM: Next up is Phil Stacey. Phil is singing The Nashville Teens' "Tobacco Road".
Once again, Phil has sung down to the bottom of the competition. There is nothing memorable about this performance -- other than that he screamed his way through it.
Randy: "it was a pretty good performance...coupla pitchy spots...i like your upper registers..."
Paula: "i think it was a good choice...some pitchy spots....good performances..."
Simon: "i wasn't crazy about it...it was a '3d division bar band performance'...there was no grit in your voice...it wasn't 'believable'...i think you may have some trouble this week..."
9:05 PM: Next up is Jordin Sparks. LuLu thinks Jordin is amazing!
Jordin is performing Shirley Bassey's & Tom Jones' "I, Who Have Nothing".
OMG!
Can we just split this off into two separate competitions RIGHT NOW???
Randy: "that was a tall order for you, but very controlled...i think one of the best performances we're gonna see tonite..."
Paula: "17 years old -- it doesn't matter....a good singer is a good singer..."
Simon: "it was depressing -- i felt like jumping off a bridge...but you sang it beautifully..."
Ryan: "Simon, to get this song, you have to experience love with someone other than yourself..."
Uh, SNAP???
9:16 PM: Ryan talks to Peter Noone. Ryan: "You've really brought something special out of the guys". Ryan is right -- the guys have really stepped it up this week.
9:17 PM: Next up is Sanjaya Malakar. Sanjaya is performing The Kinks' "You Really Got Me".
This should be the best fucking slow-motion car crash of the night!!!
FUCKING AWESOME!!!!
THIS IS HORRIBLE!!!
It's official -- Sanjaya Malakar is Season 6's "Kellie Pickler"!!!
Why is that girl in the audience crying? If you must ask, you must have the teevee on "mute".
Randy: [laughing] "you shocked me tonite...that was one of your best performances to date..." [still laughing]...
Paula: "...you really went for it tonite..."
Simon: "...i think the little girl's face says it all..."
Randy is STILL laughing...
Ryan suggests that the young girl is a "fan"...I have no comment about that...
My sister reminds me that Van Halen covered this song. My response is that Sanjaya's performance is worse than Ray Davies divided by David Lee Roth...divided by Sammy Hagar...divided by Nuno Bettencourt Gary Cherone [sorry -- Ed.]...
9:26 PM: Next up is Gina Glocksen. Tonite, Ryan is sponsored by Coca-Cola, and Gina is sponsored by FOX.
9:27 PM: OMG! Write it down -- it's the first American Idol mention of the word "blog". [Wait -- what is a "blog" -- Ed.???]
Gina is performing the Rolling Stones' "Paint It Black". This is one of my favorite Stones songs -- only "Brown Sugar" and "Dead Flowers" come close.
OMG -- Gina is slaughtering this song!!! Is Gina taking a dive for Sanjaya???
Randy: "not my favorite vocal...it was a little pitchy in spots..."
Paula: "miles better than last week..."
Simon: "there were moments of complete torture in that song...that was 'style' over 'content'...not good enough, sweetheart..."
Paula is about to pass out...seriously...
9:39 PM: Next up is Chris Sligh. Chris is performing The Zombies' "She's Not There". This is the second Zombies' song of the nite.
Take a moment to absorb that.
WOW! That was great!!!
Randy: "...started off a little bit rough, but you ended it really strong..."
Paula: "OMG! I AM SOOOOOO DRUNK!!!"...no actually: "i think you need to be more personable with the audience..."
Simon: "i don't think you had a problem with the audience...you did your thing...it wasn't the best vocal of the nite, but it was good, and you did your thing...much better than last week..."
9:44 PM: Ryan attempts to coin the phrase "the ' 'fro patrol' " in regards to Chris and his fan base.
9:49 PM: Last up is Melinda Doolittle. Melinda is performing Shirley Bassey's "As Long As He Needs Me".
That little girl is crying again -- she must think that Sanjaya and Melinda are equally talented.
Take a moment to absorb that.
Randy: "we saved the best vocal for last..." Randy calls Melinda "dude"...
Paula: "it's not forced, and it just 'is'...it's beautiful..."
Simon: "it started out boring, but the second part was sensational...impeccable..."
Ryan talks to Melinda and confronts the 800-pound-goriila -- are you really as "nice" [= boring, lacking-in-personality] as you seem? Melinda says, "this is it"...
9:59 PM: My sister and I agree that the worst performances of the nite were: 1) Sanjaya; 2) Gina; 3) Phil.
We are especially disappointed in Gina. After Sanjaya's "fuck you, America" performance, the bar was pretty low. But Gina managed to knock it down anyway. Gina may have punched her ticket home with that excruciating performance of "Paint It Black".
We also agree: 1) LaKisha and Melinda are still the class of this competition; 2) Haley really stepped it up this week and may have moved herself into the middle of the pack; 3) all of the guys -- except, of course, Sanjaya -- really stepped it up this week; and 4) kudos to both Peter Noone and LuLu for forcing the contestants to take it to the next level this week...
We'll be back later with the DialIdol numbers...
UPDATED MUCH LATER AM: The DialIdol numbers are in. Here's what Americans who still have land lines think about last night's performances: 1) Melinda Doolittle; 2) Phil Stacey [!!!]; 3) Blake Lewis; 4) Lakisha Jones; 5) Sanjaya Malakar [!!!]; 6) Jordin Sparks; 7) Chris Richardson; 8) Stephanie Edwards; 9) Chris Sligh; 10) Gina Glocksen; 11) Haley Scarnato.
DialIdol is also predicting that the top 5 -- including bombadiers Phil and Sanjaya -- are "safe" tonight.
Okay, where to start with these ridiculous numbers? As I noted last night, Phil and Sanjaya were clearly among the Bottom 3 in terms of their performances. Sanjaya's performance was a singing "fuck you, America!!!" to Idol viewers. Gina Glocksen's performance definitely was 10-worthy, but Haley Scarnato actually did well, and she definitely does not deserve to go this week.
My prediction -- in spite of Sanjaya's laugh-worthy performance, Gina will get the hook tonite.
Tune in later and follow along with DHMBIB.
ciaobaby
Friday, March 16, 2007
META: This Week In "This Week In American Idol" [16 March 2007 Edition]
On further review of this week's American Idol episodes -- Tuesday's performance show and Wednesday's results show -- there are a couple of things I want to talk about a little more.
* TUESDAY: Haley Scarnato has a McPheever:
For some reason, this didn't really register with me on Tuesday night. On Wednesday, I read a few other wrap-ups that commented upon Haley's dress. So I went back to the AI site to check out the photos, and my jaw hit the ground...
...in the good way, mind you. Nevertheless, I had the distinct feeling that I had seen something like this before...
It seems to me that Haley knows that she has failed to make much of an impression in the competition so far, and was the "last woman in" [6th place out of 6]. And it seems she decided to pull out all the stops. She came out Tuesday in full-on Katharine McPhee deploy-all-of-your-assets mode.
Even "fuller" in fact. Observe in the montage above that even though Kat would occasionally "bring out the backup singers", she never exposed as much leg as Haley's mid-thigh dress did on Tuesday. And despite her clear sex appeal, Kat was fashionably covered more times than she was exposed as above. [In fairness to Haley, I must add that Kat's style a year ago may have been influenced by her fuller figure.]
But on Tuesday, Haley brought it all -- the decolletage, the long sexy curly hair, and those legs that didin't quit. And it seems to have worked. Despite a subpar performance in which she forgot her lyrics and missed the pitch a few times [she cried and called herself a "schmuck" for forgetting the lyrics], Haley -- consistently in the bottom of the group for the last few weeks -- finished above the Bottom 3.
Will Haley stick with this "new approach"? Will it buy her some extra time to gain the confidence she so desperately needs?
WEDNESDAY: Ocean Breathes Salty, Music Bloggosphere Breathes Fiery:
Many people were quite offended by Diana Ross's wrap-thingy and her vote-off-worthy performance of "More Today Than Yesterday". But what really lit up the bloggosphere on Thursday was the Ford commercial "music video" the Idols made set to Modest Mouse's "Float On".
Where to start with this monstrosity? The zombified choreography? Chris Sligh's is-it-real-or-is-it-a-wig "afro"? Blake Lewis' breakdancing??? That ugly-ass orange car???
I know that most "music bloggers" are all about cred and authenticity and "not selling out" and shit, and that Modest Mouse are beloved punk rockers from back in the day. But seriously, I can't remember the last time I saw rants this full of bile and hate -- and sadness -- from so many different sources -- and trust me, the comments sections are worse than the bloggers' rants [as always].
[we think some of it is pretty funny, too, but YMMV -- Ed.]
Here's Alex at BestWeekEver:
" For me, American Idol has always been kind of like Uggs Boots: annoying, ridiculous and counfoundingly popular, but relatively easy to ignore. Last night, however, a line was crossed when Ford Motors sponsored a commercial featuring the finalists’ douche-chill-inducing Kids Incorporated-inspired music video rendition of Modest Mouse’s hit song “Float On”, featuring Zombie dances and trashy convertible Mustang 5.0’s that are orange. Now, I realize that this song - and the album from whence it came - outgrew Modest Mouse’s long-held punk rock ethos long ago, but this - this was like the modern musical equivalent of the Kennedy Assassination, Watergate and and Jack Nicholson getting killed at the end of Easy Rider, all happening in front of us, at the same time, set to the soundtrack of Avril Lavigne covering ABBA’s “Dancing Queen”. In short, sensory rape. "
ICYMI: The Day the Music Died [bestweekever.tv]
Here's Scott and/or Amrit at Stereogum:
" Post Puppet Show, we waited on line with the rest of Austin for Blonde Redhead at Emo's. Things were looking dire, until we got word via BBerry that Simon, Randy, Paula, and Ford Fusion had a treat waiting on the Internet for us. Yes, American Idol's top 12 gave “Float On” the silly costume and synchronized dance treatment for a Ford promo. Modest Mouse wouldn't be our first choice for breakdancing, but if anything this makes us appreciate Isaac's voice more. Nice afro too. Sigh. If only Antonella Barba were around to lip-sync Amy Winehouse next week. "
American Idol Gets Its "Float On" [stereogum.com]
[Antonella Barba singing Amy Winehouse? we'd paypal-donate just to see that -- Ed.]
Here's Mark and/or Seth at Defamer:
" If you caught last night's American Idol elimination round, you may have experienced what could only be described as the kind of fever dream Paula Abdul has after taking one too many daytrips on the Percocet-Mezcal Express. What you were witnessing, however, was no opiate-induced hallucination, but something far more sinister: A Ford Motors-sponsored "music video", featuring the contestants--set adrift on a concept best described as "Let's dress you up as disco and old school hip-hop dancers! That'll be a fun kind of thing!"--performing "Float On" on the Fox backlot. It could have only been less deferential to the source material if producers has opted instead to have their budding superstars encircle Modest Mouse lead singer/songwriter Isaac Brock, beat him unconscious with a variety of blunt objects, then spin around to lower their bellbottoms and tracksuit pants and relieve themselves, Final 12-style, on his broken, bruised body. "
'Idol' Finalists Already Making Astounding Contributions To Awful Music History [defamer.com]
Here's Kelly at Dandelife:
" But Ford has crossed the line with their latest. Getting 12 idols to do a rock video for "Float On" is just silly. It looks silly. It sounds silly. And frankly, I don't feel it. Anyone of any age could have prevented that from happening. While Modest Mouse surely has profited from it, I'm sure they were given the chance to opt out, but why? They should live in a world where ripping, mixing and burning is something fans should be free to do. They should also live in a world where corporations and their partners in marketing know the difference between fan-driven homage and dollar-lusting kitsch. Nobody was fooled and we're all just Sad Sappy Suckers. "
Modest Mouse on American Idol - Rocksploitation Case Study [dandelife.com]
Here's Brian and/or Maura at Idolator:
" Judging by Internet/blogosphere reaction, last night's American Idol rendition of "Float On" is clearly the most disturbing thing to ever happen to our country's yup-rock taste-barons--more disturbing than Vietnam (the war) and Vietnam (the band) combined. But the Idol singers weren't the first youth-skewing group to cheese up Modest Mouse:
" Which version of "Float On" do you prefer?
" a) The Kidz Bop kids' version
" b) The American Idol kids' version
" c) Please just shiv me in the back and be done with it. "
The Cover-Song Showcase Showdown: Which Version Of "Float On" Floats Your Boat? [idolator.com]
THURSDAY BONUS: Clay Aiken and his new "beard":
No, "really".
Sorry, Claymates, He's a Nerd [mollygood.com]
BREAKING: Boring Old Newsmagazine Makes Sweet Escape Back To The Future, Sheds No Tears About Cribbing Boring Old Iconography
[disclosure, blah, blah, blah -- Ed.]
Have you seen the first issue of Time after its much-balleyhood redesign?
I won't bore you with discussions of white space and font sizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzze [go here or here if you want to see that kind of stuff]. And, of course, there's no need to digress to discuss the HI-larious cover story, which contains such awesome bits as:
" A generation ago, fresh off the second biggest electoral landslide in American history, Ronald Reagan surveyed the wreckage that had been the opposition and declared victory. Standing before 1,700 true believers at the 1985 Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), he proclaimed, "The tide of history is moving irresistibly in our direction. Why? Because the other side is virtually bankrupt of ideas. It has nothing more to say, nothing to add to the debate. It has spent its intellectual capital." "
[and]
" "Compassionate conservatism, for all its virtues, does not even try to address itself to parents. A conservative agenda that did so would not only cement a relationship with these voters, it would also appeal to many with similar worries who do not share the strong cultural predilections that have drawn middle- and lower-middle-class parents to vote for Republicans." [says Yuval Levin of the Ethics and Public Policy Center] "
No, I'm more interested in this surely-not-photoshopped awesome cover image of Ronald Reagan shedding a lone tear.
I think I've seen this iconography somewhere before.
I think it's awesome that the folks at Time wanted to fictionally demonstrate that "Reagan would be sad if he knew his party had no new ideas, had brought the world to the brink of an apocalyptic World War III, and was maybe about to nominate a possibly-closeted-gay liberal as their new standard bearer" in the "a photoshopped picture is worth 1000 10,000 words" kind of way. I wonder where they got this idea from?
Maybe they were inspired by Gwen Stefani shedding a tear after realizing that Fergie had displaced her as the new dance-pop-R&B queen:
[image courtesy gwenstefani.com]
Or maybe they were inspired by Elmo shedding a tear because The Black Parade's dealing-with-cancer theme touched him at the core of his soul:
[image courtesy stereogum.com]
Or maybe they were inspired by Lil Wayne's non-photoshopped non-tears he has never actually shed over anything:
[image courtesy cashmoney-records.com]
Or maybe they were inspired by this widely-distributed 9/11-themed image:
[image courtesy angelfire.com; seriously, who still hosts their site on Angelfire??? -- Ed.]
Or maybe they were inspired by this eTrade Super Bowl commercial from 2001 -- widely considered to be one of the Top Ten Super Bowl Ads of all time:
[video courtesy filefront.com]
[Wouldn't it be not-in-the-"rain-on-your-wedding-day"-kind-but-the-real-kind ironic if this really were the inspiration for the Time cover??? -- Ed.]
Or maybe they were inspired by "the original" -- the classic 1970's-era anti-pollution PSA starring totally non-"Indian" actor Espera De Corti, a/k/a "Iron Eyes Cody" [his parents were Sicilian, but he was born in the United States] [hey, he could run for President if he hadn't died 8 years ago -- Ed.]:
[video courtesy youtube.com]
[seriously, DHMBIB recommends that all readers check out these two videos -- Ed.]
*****
Okay, Time, I know a picture is worth 1000 words -- even if it is completely fake. But the "shedding a single tear" meme jumped the shark a long time ago. And after the eTrade monkey did it, it became a complete joke.
[Sort of like Time magazine, I s'pose -- Ed.]
Are You Smarter Than Wikipedia?
[That could be an interesting game show. But I think the host would have to be someone like Steve Martin -- Ed.]
My sister and I were having a wide-ranging conversation on Thursday that eventually got around to the topic of Arnold Schwarzenegger and whether he will run for the U.S. Senate. We also touched on the chatter that has come up about amending the U.S. Constitution so that he -- and others like him -- might be able to run for President or Vice President.
As I hope you know, dear reader, the Austrian-born Schwarzenegger is presumptively not eligible to be President or Vice President of the United States, due to this provision of the U.S. Constitution:
" No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty-five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States. "
[Article II, section 1, clause 5]
[Although the Constitution does not state separate qualifications for the office of Vice President, it is widely presumed that they are the same as the qualifications for the office of President.]
So, just curious, we asked ourselves who was the first President to have been born in the United States after the adoption of the Constitution. It's one of the choices below. Can you get it -- without cheating?
"Who was the first President to have been born in the United States after the adoption of the Constitution?"
a) Andrew Jackson [7th President]
b) Martin Van Buren [8th President]
c) William Henry Harrison [9th President]
d) John Tyler [10th President]
e) James K. Polk [11th President]
The answer is after the jump...
Answer: D -- John Tyler was born on March 29, 1790, in Charles City County, Virginia.
Tyler is probably best remembered as the first Vice President to ascend to the Presidency after the death of the sitting President. President William Henry Harrison famously opted to give his inaugural address -- over two hours in length -- and to march in the inaugural parade without a coat in inclimate weather. He subsequently caught pneumonia and died on April 4, 1841. At the time, the Constitution was not clear on all aspects of succession in the case of the death of a President. Vice President Tyler became the "Acting President" on April 4 and then took the oath of office as President on April 6, 1841. Congress then passed a resolution affirming that Tyler was officially the President of the United States. Tyler's unilateral decision to take the oath of office set a precedent that 7 other Vice Presidents followed before the Constitution was amended to make this line of succession Constitutionally "formal".
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
This Week In Tonight In American Idol [14 March 2007 Edition]
8:55 PM: Here we are. Our first elimination show of the finals.
The consensus on the internets is that Sanjaya Malakar should -- but won't -- be sent home tonite. In his rightful place, most people are predicting that the journey will end tonite for Haley Scarnato. Brandon Rogers and Stephanie Edwards are popular "second" choices.
If you missed last nite's show, you missed the most awesomest moment of the season. The video of Ryan-and-Simon's "you're gayer than I am!"-"no, YOU'RE gayer than I am!" exchange is after the jump.
[clip courtesy bestweekever.tv]
[for us, the highlight of this clip is poor Melinda's reaction at being "Stuck In The Middle" of these two -- Ed.]
9:00 PM: "This...is American Idol!"
9:02 PM: Awesome! The higlight reel from last nite's show is scored with Diana Ross's "I'm Coming Out" and begins with a replay of Ryan-and-Simon's catfight. MEOW!
9:04 PM: The group song is a medley of Diana Ross Hits. It begins with the guys singing "Where Did Our Love Go?". Next, the ladies tackle "Baby Love". Finally, the whole group takes on "Stop! In The Name Of Love". It's alright.
9:10 PM: I had almost forgotten about this "tradition". The remaining contestants all appear in a commercial for Ford video of Modest Mouse's "Float On".
9:12 PM: Time to find the Bottom 3. First up: LaKisha Jones: SAFE!
9:12 PM: Next up: Gina Glocksen: SAFE!
9:12 PM: Next up: Brandon Rogers: BOTTOM 3!
9:13 PM: Next up: Jordin Sparks: SAFE!
9:13 PM: Next up: Chris Richardson: SAFE!
9:13 PM: Next up: Melinda Doolittle: SAFE!
9:13 PM: Next up: Phil Stacey: BOTTOM 3!
9:13 PM: Next up: Chris Sligh: SAFE!
9:14 PM: Next up: Stephanie Edwards: SAFE! THANK GOD!!!
9:14 PM: Next up: Blake Lewis: SAFE
9:14 PM: That leaves Sanjaya Malakar and Haley Scarnato to fill out the Bottom 3...we find out who it will be after the break [and after Diana Ross sings -- Ed.].
9:19 PM: Time for the "American Idol Challenge" question:
Which of these American Idols did Simon Cowell predict would sell more albums than any other Idol?
a) Kelly Clarkson
b) Carrie Underwood
c) Taylor Hicks
9:20 PM: Time to bring out Diana Ross. Don't you know that Haley Scarnato is about to break down in tears -- if she hasn't already yet???
Is it just me, or is it odd that Diana Ross is singing a STEVIE WONDER song? Did she ever cover "I Love You More Today Than Yesterday"???
UPDATED: My sister informs me via IM that Diana is covering this song on her new album. Because, ya know, they have to plug the new album, obvs.
Also, is it just me, or if this performance had come during the competition, Randy would have called it "pitchy" and "not your best", Paula would have told her she looked "beautiful", and Simon would have said "I think you're in real danger of going home this week"???
9:27 PM: Ryan has Sanjaya and Haley stand. Haley Scarnato: SAFE!
Sanjaya is in the BOTTOM 3!!!
9:28 PM: Ryan tells Phil Stacey to have a seat. OMG -- SANJAYA in the BOTTOM 2!
9:29 PM: Ryan tells us there were over 28 million votes cast this week. The results: Sanjaya Malakar: SAFE!
Brandon Rogers is going home!!!
The audience doesn't appreciate the choice.
9:30 PM: "Conveniently", we ran out of time, and Brandon does not get to thrill America with his forgot-the-lyrics rendition of "You Can't Hurry Love".
9:32 PM: So, DialIdol called [no pun intended -- Ed.] Sanjaya in 3d place, but he was actually in the Bottom 2 [11th place]. I'm quite pleasantly shocked, and my faith in America has almost -- almost -- been renewed. DialIdol also had Stephanie Edwards in 12th and Brandon Rogers in 11th. I guess that means the SMS voters don't like Sanjaya as much as we feared they would.
ciaobaby
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Odds & Sods: American Idol Drop-Out Wouldn't Get Away With This Shit With Hulk Hogan [13 March 2007 Edition]
* Breaking: World War II Memorial Plans To Sue Antonella Barba:
Remember Mario Vazquez?
Mario was a contestant on American Idol 4 who made it to the final 12 and was handicapped to be a top-3 or top-4 prospect. But, on the day before the final 12 were to compete for the first time, Fox announced that Mario had dropped out of the competition for "family reasons" [Mario was replaced in the finals by "7th-place-in-the-semifinal male finisher" Nikko Smith].
Everyone called bullshit on this at the time and assumed that Mario dropped out because he thought he could get a record deal on his own giving him more control over his career. Even Mario's mom said she had no idea what these "family reasons" could be. Idol watchers felt Mario's subsequent signing by Clive Davis validated their assumptions.
But, alas, the truth may be a little less banal and a lot ickier than that.
According to a lawsuit filed on Monday against Vazquez, Fox and Idol-producer Fremantle Media, the "family" appears to be "former Fremantle Assistant Accountant Magdaleno Olmos", and the "reasons" appear to be "sexual harassment and attempted-gay-rape in the men's restroom".
[insert your own Ryan Seacrest / Clay Aiken / William Hung jokes here, please -- Ed.]
* Breaking: Lily Allen Is Adorable!!!:
Both of these were in serious contention for Video Of The Day. But, alas, they're a little too short, so they only rate "Kudos!!!":
[link courtesy themodernage.org]
These two videos are the only videos posted to YouTube by a user named "lilyallenisme". These videos obviously were taken by someone with definite "insider" access, so "lilyallenisme" may really be Lily herself. Awesome!
* Breaking: Music Critic Writes Fawning Article In Praise Of Arcade Fire:
If you haven't heard of Arcade Fire, the Montreal septet anointed by the music Poindexters as the latest "best rock band in the world", you might as well read Jody Rosen's love letter in Slate and pick up Neon Bible at the iTMS. Both are worth your time.
Trust me.
* Breaking: Katharine McPhee Likes Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Clean Teeth:
Kat did a LiveOnline chat with washingtonpost.com on Tuesday. And she made a shocking [!] revelation at the end:
" Katharine McPhee: I'm sorry I have to leave now but I have to go get my teeth cleaned at the dentist. I love you all and talk to you soon. "
Video Of The Day: Gerard Way Could Totes Pin Hogan...BROOKE Hogan, That Is [13 March 2007 Edition]
I can't do any better than Bob Castrone over at BestWeekEver:
" Yeah, so I got chills watching this mash-up of Hulk Hogan moments and My Chemical Romance’s “The Black Parade”.
" Like, more than once.
" Shut up. "
[video courtesy bestweekever.tv and multiple other sources]
Okay, I guess I can note that the song is actually called "Welcome To The Black Parade" [the album is called simply The Black Parade]. And I guess I can also say that this video is waaay better than any of Brooke Hogan's videos.
[The actual MCR video for "Welcome To The Black Parade" is actually pretty awesome, in a Queen-tastic way. Check it out before the C&D meanies disable this embed...]
This Week In Tonight In American Idol [13 March 2007 Edition]
7:55 PM: We're back for the start of the Finals of season 6 of American Idol.
We're down to our final 12 -- 6 men and 6 women -- who compete against each other each week.
After the jump, the live-blogging madness begins.
UPDATED: Plus, we have the latest DialIdol numbers, and they're not pretty.
8:00 PM: Ryan: "This...[pause]...[pause]...IS AMERICAN IDOL!!!"
8:04 PM: Ryan asks the judges what they think. Randy: "gotta be in it to win it". Paula: "I think the guys are gonna bring it". Simon: "this stage changes everything...it's a whole new ballgame".
8:05 PM: This week's "musical mentor" is Diana Ross. I think that means we'll be doing DR and Supremes songs tonite. I also think that's bad news for the guys.
Except maybe for Sanjaya.
8:07 PM: First up is Brandon Rogers. Brandon is performing "You Can't Hurry Love". I suspect he'll try to sound more like Phil Collins than Diana Ross.
Brandon sounds alright, but he is "pitchy", and his voice actually cracks in a few spots. OH NO! Brandon forgets the lyrics!!! And I was just about to say "he's safe tonite". Forgetting the lyrics is usually death.
The judges are not kind. Randy says he sounds like he "reverted to being a background singer" and castigates him for his flub. Paula says "you don't need us to tell you what you did wrong". Simon calls it a "letdown", points out the mistakes and tells Brandon he "sounded like a background singer for a background singer." "Not good enough, sorry."
8:17 PM: Next up is Melinda Doolittle. Ryan talks with Melinda and Melinda talks about how much she hates wearing heels. This prompts an interesting dialog between Ryan and Simon...
Ryan: Simon, any advice for Melinda on the heels?
Simon: You should know, Ryan.
Ryan: You stay out of my closet!
Simon: Come out!
Ryan: This is about the top 12, not your wishes.
I'll leave it to the reader to decode this exchange.
Finally, Melinda sings "Home" from The Wiz. It's an interesting choice -- not one of Diana's better songs, but probably well-suited for Melinda's voice and style. Frankly, I'm not really blown away by the performance, but it shames Brandon. Anyway, the audience eats it up.
The judges can barely contain themselves, they're tripping over each other to see who can praise Melinda more. Randy says it's not her best performance but still fantastic. Paula is crying. Maybe her cup is empty. Simon is sneezing, then laughing. He says she made a "boring song fantastic". He says Melinda reminds him of "a young Gladys Knight".
8:24 PM: Next up is Chris Sligh. He is performing "Endless Love". WOW! That was spectacular, IMHO. Chris has to switch up the song a bit. Diana warned him not to mess with it too much.
The judges are not kind. Randy says it reminds him of Coldplay, and he's not digging it. Paula tells him it's about the singing, not the song. She tells him not to worry about being "too contemporary" on every song. Simon says "he murdered the arrangement" and that it was "all over the lot". A few people in the audience boo, and Simon says "the boos are appropriate".
The pimping of the women and the hatchet-jobbing of the men has begun.
8:34 PM: Next up is Gina Glocksen. Gina is performing "Love Child". Diana advises Gina that she "must pronunciate everything". She uses "pronunciate" as a verb again.
This is not a very good performance. She's got pitch issues, and the vocal range of the song is too big for Gina.
Randy says it wasn't his favorite performance from Gina and calls it "pitchy" and "boring". Paula says Gina "is better than you were tonite" and warns her about shouting. Simon calls it a good song-choice but a "forgettable" and "mid-pack performance".
8:43 PM: Next up is Sanjaya Malakar. Sanjaya on Diana: "having Diana Ross mentor you is like having Van Gogh teach you how to paint." I'm not touching that one.
Sanjaya is performing "Ain't No Mountain High Enough". It's excruciating. Sanjaya is actually managing to undersing Diana Ross, which is hard to do.
This performance is so bad, Randy is speechless. He calls it "almost unlistenable" and says "thank God for the background singers". But Randy totes <3's the hair. Paula can't say much more than her usual blather about how wonderful he is. Simon also is virtually speechless. Simon says Diana will "wail" when she hears this performance. He continues ripping in to Sanjaya until the audience starts booing, and then Simon tells Sanjaya that the only good part of the performance was "your hair".
This was one of the worst performances I've ever seen on Idol. So, Sanjaya will be in the top 3 this week and sail through, obvs.
8:54 PM: Next up is "Haley Scarnato!" Haley is performing "Missing You", which is Diana's beautiful ode to Marvin Gaye after his tragic death 23 years ago.
Idol is playing a cruel joke on us by having the two worst singers in the finals perform back to back.
This is yet another terrible performance. Haley forgets the words, her pitch is all over the place, and she both undersings and oversings the song. The judges are not kind. Randy says "you already know what I'm gonna tell you", and he proceeds to tell her. Paula tells her she's beautiful, and then repeats Randy's comments. Simon says "I didn't think it was that bad, actually". The audience -- pin-drop quiet during Randy and Paula's comments -- explode in applause. Haley starts crying. Simon tells her she showed excellent stage presence and that there were parts of the vocals that were "really good". Simon tells her that if she can "keep it together", she might actually end up in Hanes commercial in her bra. [DAMN! That j.love commercial is distracting me again!!!] Simon tells HALEY [he makes a point of remembering her name] that if she can "keep it together, you just might stick around".
9:04 PM: Ryan talks to "my nana", who is in the audience. She's lovin' it!
9:05 PM: Next up is Phil Stacey. Phil is performing "I'm Gonna Make You Love Me". It's the best performance from the men tonite, but admittedly, the bar is low. Randy calls the "performance" a little boring but calls the vocals "the best of the nite". Paula thinks the performance should have been "more uptempo" but that the vocals were excellent. Simon goes the other way and calls the song and the performance "right for you" and warns Phil not to shout when he's reaching for the high notes. But Simon also says Phil was much better this week than last, which is very much the case.
9:15 PM: Next up is LaKisha Jones. LaKisha is performing "God Bless The Child". Wow, "KiKi" will be tackling Diana Ross tackling Billie Holiday. Talk about setting the bar high.
Two words: WOW!
Are Melinda Doolittle and LaKisha Jones really in the same contest as Sanjaya Malakar and Haley Scarnato???
Randy calls it "sensational!" Paula must be getting tired -- she tells LaKisha she's beautiful. Simon says: "LaKisha, either you've got it or you don't. *You've* got it." SIMON TOTES STOLE MY COMMENT ABOUT MELINDA AND LAKISHA!!!
9:24 PM: Next up is Blake Lewis. Blake Lewis likes Michael Jackson and Prince -- surprise, surprise.
Blake is performing "You Keep Me Hanging On". Blake remixed the song on his iBook. Diana tells him she's looking forward to seeing what he would do with the song.
Blake really is unique -- in a way similar to how Taylor Hicks was unique. I'm digging the performance, but it's not close to Melinda or LaKisha.
Randy tells Blake he doesn't need to "Blake-ize" everything, and sometimes he just needs to let the song be the song. Paula actually likes it and says he could have a hit with it. Simon doesn't dig it. He tells Blake not to mess with the classics. All of the judges agree. Simon also tells Blake he'll sail this week. I think all of the judges agree with that, too.
9:34 PM: Paula is giving Ryan a lapdance or something.
9:35 PM: Next up is Stephanie Edwards. Stephanie is performing "Love Hangover", which has a great slow-burn beginning. Let's see what Stephanie does with that.
Stephanie keeps the whole song in the slow tempo of the opening, never amp'ing it up to the famous disco sound. The performance is good though.
The judges question Stephanie's decision on the tempo -- that's the part everyone knows, where was it? Everyone points this out. Randy also tells Stephanie it wasn't her best and she needs to step it up in the finals. Paula tells her it was good but not as good as she is. Simon says she wasn't in the same league as her rivals Melinda and LaKisha and really needs to step it up.
9:39 PM: Next up is Chris Richardson. Chris is performing "The Boss".
I think Blake and Chris are essentially the same singer, and there's not a whole lot room left for both. I'm just sayin'.
This performance didn't do much for me. The judges are not really underwhelmed -- maybe just "whelmed". Randy tells Chris there's an excellent chance for the men to step up and take the lead of their group, and he's not sure Chris is doing his best to take that lead. Paula loves the modern take on the song. Simon says, take out your personality and charm, that vocal performance was "dreadful".
9:49 PM: The last performance of the nite comes from Jordin Sparks. Jordin is performing "If We Hold On Together".
Wow, that was pretty good. Jordin is in 3d place right now.
The judges love it. Randy says: "a lot of people think this is a two-girl race. Tonight, with that performance, you made it a three-girl race." Paula doesn't know the song but thinks it was beautiful. Simon thinks the arrangement was a little syrupy but that the vocal was "fantastic". Simon also agrees with Randy -- Jordin has jumped up to the first tier.
9:59 PM: Ryan thanks Paula for his lapdance.
9:59 PM: Diana Ross will sing during tomorrow's results show.
10:30 PM: I needed some time to cool off and look at the big picture of tonite's show. I rank the performances this way:
1) LaKisha Jones
2) Melinda Doolittle [a close 2d]
3) Jordin Sparks [a close 3d]
=====
[a few unfilled slots go here]
4) Phil Stacey
5) Stephanie Edwards
6) Chris Sligh
7) Blake Lewis
8) Chris Richardson
9) Gina Glocksen
10) Brandon Rogers
11) Haley Scarnato
12) Sanjaya Malakar
Sanjaya should go this week, but I'm certain he won't. So I think the other three singers who gave the worst performances of the nite should be very scared -- especially Haley and Brandon.
I think no one in particular would benefit if Sanjaya, Haley or Gina go. But I think Phil Stacey and Brandon Rogers occupy the same basic "slot", so I think Phil would be the biggest "winner" if Brandon gets the hook this week.
I also think that Blake and Chris R. occupy the same basic "slot", but that neither is probably in serious danger this week.
I'll be back later with the DialIdol numbers.
[UPDATED] 1:30 AM: DialIdol's numbers are in, and...well...let's just look at them together:
1) Melinda Doolittle
2) Lakisha Jones
3) Sanjaya Malakar
4) Jordin Sparks
5) Phil Stacey
6) Gina Glocksen
7) Chris Richardson
8) Haley Scarnato
9) Blake Lewis
10) Chris Sligh
11) Brandon Rogers
12) Stephanie Edwards
America, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? I mean, seriously, ARE YOU SMOKING CRACK???
SANJAYA AT NUMBER 3??? STEPHANIE AT NUMBER 12??? Yes, Stephanie skipped "the good part" of "Love Hangover", but SANJAYA HAS SKIPPED "THE GOOD PART" OF EVERY FUCKING SONG HE'S SUNG!!!
Our only hope is that the SMS vote was so lopsided that Sanjaya got, like, ZERO SMS votes. Oh, wait -- that didn't happen.
Sanjaya is going to win this year, obvs.
