This Week In Tonight In American Idol [21 April 2009]

Hai...

Yes, I've been quiet on the Idol-blogging front for a while. Due to a combination of work and personal and other-stupid reasons, I've often missed the live broadcast of the performance show, but I have been following along. Sometimes, I've caught it at 9PM, and sometimes at 10:30PM, and sometimes at 5AM on Wednesday. But I have been paying attention.

Last week, as I'm sure you know, Idol "made history" when the judges used their first-ever "judges' save" to save Matt Giraud from elimination. Reaction to this choice in the Idol-verse was mixed -- to be generous -- but I for one applauded (literally) the decision, because I thought he did, indeed, deserve another chance.

As a result of the judges' decision last week, two Idols will go home this week, and there are no more save opportunities available for the judges -- or the Idols. Because the stakes are THAT MUCH HIGHER this week, I decided to make the extra effort to live-ish blog this week's performance show.

Join me, after the jump...

Three notes, before I begin:

1) I made it to the DVR of this episode around the time Fringe started, so it's only a live-ish blog. Accordingly, I won't be bothering with time codes. I'll simply record my thoughts as I watch the recording, and maybe as I replay it to make sure I didn't miss something.

2) Regardless of (1) above, I'll try my best to make this "live"-ish. These really are my insta-reactions to what I'm hearing.

3) And finally, my monitor died this past week, and my backup monitor sucks rocks. So I can't see much of what's actually on the screen. So I will miss outrageous outfits and weird hand gestures and all of that. Sorry. But isn't that okay, because I'll be actually evaluating these "singers" in this "singing competition" based on their "singing"??? amirite???

Okay -- let's go!

* * *

Top 7 Week (Part 2) is "Disco Week"...I foresee great peril for several of tonite's contestants...also, i hope the producers / directors have figured out how to get all of the judges involved this week without running overtime...

Ryan: recap...history...Simon is "dressed for the occasion" (whatever that means)...

1) Lil Rounds -- "I'm Every Woman", by Chaka Khan (also covered by Whitney Houston)...Lil has been rumored to be on the verge of elimination for weeks...she has not lived up to her original billing, and Simon is way past done with her...and this performance shows why...very middling, nothing stands out here...where's the range???

Randy: sounded so wild to me...still didn't really show me what kind of artist you could be...
Kara: all of America has been waiting for you to sing Chaka Khan...not sure it was worth the wait...you've been every other woman but yourself...still didn't tell me who you are as an artist...
Paula: Lil is sick...i appluad your strong vocals...
Simon: you look sad...

Lil: I had fun tonite

Simon: i'm glad you had fun, because i think this is the last week we're going to see you...no originality, very copycat, the arrangement and the vocals were a mess...sorry...

2) Kris Allen -- "She Works Hard For The Money", by Donna Summer...one of Summers' late-period disco hits...Wait! is this Matt? No! always get these two confused...Kris is playing the guitar, and is very Mraz-ian in this performance...the Idol-verse seems to be split about whether Kris or Matt is more likely to hit the top 4...only one of them will...this is a'ight for me, dawg, but it's light years beyond what Lil just did...

Kara: took a risk with that arrangement, and it paid off big-time...
Paula: classy Santana-feel to that (THANK YOU -- couldn't place it -- Ed.)...(something about shopping in the women's department)...originality...contender...

(Paula and Simon proceed to fight about Paula's, ahem, "influenced" comments about Kris shopping in the women's department...)

Simon: complete polar opposite to Lil...original, not karaoke...fantastic performance...
Randy: you know who you are, you're ready for the big-time, dawg...

3) Danny Gokey -- "September", by Earth, Wind & Fire (of course!!!)...this is not just "karaoke" -- it's "karaoke like Taylor Hicks!"...watch the judges slobber all over this...i'm so tired of Danny...please let Lil and Danny go home this week...

Randy: you turned this into something that really worked for you tonite...good job...
Kara: incredible vocalist...your pitch is right on...solid...
Paula: one of the sexiest voices ever...
Simon: i agree with what everyone else says about the vocals...but as a performance, i didn't get any kind of star power...the performance overall was a bit awkward...

Paula: i'll still see you in the finals!!!

4) Allison Irahea -- "Hot Stuff", by Donna Summer...one of my favorite DS songs...this should be good (I hope, crossing fingers)...okay, I'm deep in the tank for Allison, and I know this is different, but I have to say, I'm really lovin' this arrangement...sounds like P!nk crossed with Pat Benatar crossed with Deborah Harry crossed with Bonnie Raitt...wow! I really dug that...

Randy: i didn't love the arrangement, but you can really sing...i love you...
Kara: I agree, i didn't love the arrangement, i loved the vocal...
Paula: you don't compromise, you brought it, you hit it off the chart...
Simon: brilliant performance...

5) Adam Lambert -- "If I Can't Have You", by Yvonne Elliman...okay, while Adam is doing his thing, lemme rant for a minute...Adam is unique and almost always perfect at what he's trying to do...but I don't really like his schtick...it's waaaaaaaay too self-indulgent...back to this "performance"...waaaaaaaay too predictable and "haven't I heard this before?" (For Me!)...let's watch the judges eat it up!...

Randy: ready right now...hot one tonite America!
Kara: brilliant...most memorable...inspiring...
Paula: felt your pain...fascinating, brilliant...you will be in the finals...
Simon: something we weren't expecting...original...memorable...vocals were immaculate...

(props to Adam, again, for giving a shout-out to Michael Someone for helping out with the arrangement...at least Adam is willing to share credit where it is due...)

6) Matt Giraud -- "Stayin' Alive", by The Bee Gees...wait is this Kris? No! it's Matt...always get these two confused...very Timberlake-ian...or Mraz-ian...can't tell...perfectly okay...

Randy: didn't love the song choice, didn't love the arrangement, but you can really sing...
Kara: you brought disco back (see, even Kara thinks it was Timberlake-ian)...
Paula: you pick songs like I bowl -- this was a strike...
Simon: sorry to put a damper on this, but i didn't like that performance...a bit desperate...vocals not great...no originality...

7) Anoop Desai -- "Dim All The Lights", by Donna Summer...another of Donna Summer's lesser hits...seriously? three Donna Summer songs??? Anoop does his usual Michael Bolton schtick...not digging this...

Randy: rough last note...didn't love the arrangement...but you can sing!
Kara: great song choice...sounded like it could be on the radio...last two weeks, your best performances...
Paula: you look fantastic (I guess he's wearing pink)...smile more...
Simon: mediocre at best...horrible version of that song...your worst performance by a mile...

* * *

"Disco Week" is an increasingly-difficult theme for Idol. The demographics are obviously trending against the show on this, as a "theme" that highlights songs that are more than three decades old will not resonate with the younger viewers that Idol is shedding in droves. "Disco" is a genre that still has yet to acquire "retro cool" status -- and may never acquire that status -- for viewers whose musical touchstones include "the '80's", "grunge", "pre-millenial teen pop", and -- "ZOMG!" -- "Hanna Montana!".

I'm not suprised there was no "mentor" this week, for two reasons. The first -- banal -- reason being, the mentor segments would've pushed the show over its DVR-time-limit again, which Fox has learned is increasingly not acceptable. [Note there were also only limited pre- and post-performance segments, while each contestant got the four-judge critique treatment this week.] The second reason being, name any "disco"-era mentor who would've not been out-of-element on this show this week. 60-year-old Donna Summer, who provided three songs this week? 62-year-old Barry Gibb, who provided two songs this week and was woefully on the wrong show last year? SRSLY??? [P.S. No offense to Donna Summer, Barry Gibb, or anyone else who might've been tapped.]

* * *

Insta-Rankings (For Me!):

1-4 [alphabetically]) Adam, Allison, Kris, Matt
5-6 [alphabetically]) Anoop, Danny

7) Lil

(no insta-gaps at the top...with the combination of the uncomfortable theme and the two-people-going-home-tonite thing, I'd hate to be an odds-maker tonite...)

* * *

Who SHOULD go home? Lil and Danny (or Anoop, who cares?)...

Who WILL go home? Sadly, probably Allison and Matt...

* * *

In case you've forgotten who "TPTB" plan to be in the finals, Paula reminded you tonite: Adam and Danny...

* * *

UPDATED WEDNESDAY MORNING

sigh...the DialIdol results are in, and they make me very sad:

1) Lil
2) Adam
3) Danny
4) Anoop
5) Matt
6) Kris
7) Allison

America, WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING???

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This Week In The Last Two Weeks In Tonight In American Idol [03 March 2009]

PRE-SHOW: We missed the live broadcast of last week's Idol Semifinal show, so we couldn't live-ish blog it. But then we saw it. And we were glad we missed it. That may have been the worst Idol performance show we have ever seen seen.

In case you missed Wednesday's dreadful performance show and Thursday's equally-dreadful results show, the Idols who made it through were: Kris Allen, Allison Iraheta, and Adam Lambert. For those of you who were scoring at home -- or even for those of you who were all alone -- that makes four males and two females making it through in the first two weeks.

Our preliminary prediction for this week -- Idol will figure out how to advance more females in to the finals, so we'll have a 6-6 split...


:00: Ryan tells us the Idols "have said goodbye to their families"...we are so glad we have ditched the whole "let's give the Idols the results in front of their families" thing...that was wrong...

:02: Ryan and Simon agree that Simon should be picking more of the songs...we actually agree with this -- Simon is the only judge to whom you need to pay attention...

:04: first up tonite is Von Smith...he sings "You're All I Need"...this, we think, is a cover of a Mary J. track feat. Method Man...

okay, seriously, this is quite good...better than every performance last week...rite out the block, dawg!!!

Randy agrees with us...Kara agrees with us...Paula agrees with us...

Simon: you remind me of Clay Aiken...sang very well...

Rite out the box, Von has set the bar...

:14: Taylor Vaifanua is up next...she's singing "If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys...

this is actually quite good...this is one of my favorite Keys songs, and Taylor is doing it quite justice...

but the song is a subdued song, and this might not have been the best choice...

it's so hard to sing Alicia Keys and do it "right"

oh noes...Kara is complaining that she doesn't know her personality..."what's it like to go shopping with Taylor?"

SRSLY???

Paula says we heard this in Hollywood...hey, did they show this???

Simon -- RIGHTFULLY! -- calls Kara out on the "shopping" comment...but he also agrees that she doesn't stand out..."bland"...

Randy gets a delayed comment: you didn't tell us anything special about you...

Ryan makes a "Simon wears the same shirt every show" joke...even though it was Kara who made the "shopping" comment...

SRSLSY???

:26: Next up is Alex Wagner-Trugman...Alex is taking on "I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues" by Billy Joel's favorite concert partner, Elton John...

...he starts out okay, but then he quickly rocket-man's into Hicksville-karaoke-land...

Paula: showman...

Simon: we had fun watching you, but not listening to you...

Randy: "crazy in a buck-wild sort of way"

Kara: you're honest...

:30: So, after three performances...

Von: yes-eligible...Taylor: wildcard-eligible...Alex: no...

:36: Ryan: "the first ABBA song ever live on Idol..."

you seriously have no idea how pleased -- the first ABBA sing -- and depressed -- ABBA -- we are, at the same time...

Arianna Afsar is the Idol...the choice: "The Winner Takes It All", which -- we are embarrassed to admit -- is one of our "favorite" ABBA songs...

this starts out horribly, but does get narginally better...but not mush...

but, no...

Simon: absolutely terrible...

Randy: [whatevs]...Kara: [whatevs]...Paula: old-fashioned [whatevs]...

Paula can't remember how the name of the group is pronounced...

THIS IS WHY WE LOVE PAULA!!!

Uh, Arianna: no...

:47: Next up is local-to-me Ju'Not Joyner...he's singing the craptacular "Hey There, Delilah" by the Plain White T's...

okay, this is a really bad choice...mostly because this song really suxxx...

there's no way he gets good marks for this...

Randy: pulled back, smart choice...

Kara: smooth...but you were holding back...

Paula: [struggles, which is not good]

Simon: better than I thought it was going to be...

We were wrong? can't be...

:58: Kristen McNamara is reunited with Nathaniel (coming...), with whom she clashed in H'Wood...Kristen's chartreuse extensions are gone...

Kristen is taking on "Give Me One Reason" by Tracy Chapman...

we would call this "competent karaoke"...there is no reason for Kristen to advance based on this listless performance...

This may be the best losing performance of the season...we enjoyed it for 90 seconds -- but we don't ever want to hear it again...

Kara: should be doing Kelly Clarkson...P!nk...

THANK GOD FOR KARA D!!!

even Randy calls it "karaoke"...

After six...

1) Von

2) Taylor
3) Ju'Not

4-6) Alex, Arianna, Kristen

1:04: Nathaniel Marshall, "drama queen", is up next...

He's singing "I Would Do Anything For Love" by Meatloaf....

countdown to Simon saying "...too Broadway..." begins in 3...2..1...

also, we're not digging his "look" tonite...

the judges literally are speechless...

and Kara breaks out the first "karaoke" comment for Nathaniel...

Ryan does the whole "simon has teh gey!" joke here, which is obviously a joke on nathaniel here...so cruel...

uh, no...

1:17: Felicia Barton is next...she's taking on "No One" from Alicia Keys...

this is the young woman who was subbed in at the last minute for the other woman who was disqualified for being an industry ringer...

let us take the opportunity to remark how we appreciate how Idol is trying to contemporize itself this season...

Felicia starts out very Keys-esque but then degenerates into whack-ness...

sorry, blew it...

Paula: gorgeous...

Simon: [totally agrees with us]

Randy: hott! made it your own...

Kara: problem with some of those notes...noticed you...

Felicia has good odds to make it through because she is already a "wildcard"...

we're just sayin'...

1:23: Next up is Scott MacIntyre...he of the vision difficulties...

he is taking on "Mandolin Rain" by Bruce Hornsby...

HEY! that was actually listenable!

...judges [blah blah blah]

Simon: you're growing on me...

After nine...

1) Von

2-4) Taylor, Ju'Not, Scott

5) Felicia

6-9) Alex, Arianna, Kristen, Nathaniel

1:34: next up is Kendall Beard...

Kendall might be this season's Kellie Pickler...she's taking on "This One's For The Girls" by Martina McBride...

yeah, def channeling Pickler and Carrie Underwood in the same performance...

uh, no...

Paula: best outfit...

Simon: you're def a country girl...

1:43: Next up is Jorge Nunez...he's taking on "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me" by Elton John...

not bad, but very Elliott Yamin-esque for me...which means, maybe gets through, but...

Simon: [givin' him props...]

judges: pimpin' you, dawg'...

1:53: Last up tonite is Lil Rounds...she's taking on "Be Without You" by Mary J....

this is very competent for me, but it is not blowing me away...

sorry, i don't think she makes it through on votes this week...maybe as a wildcard candidate

Simon: brilliant, but bad song choice

all the judges are pimping her, even though that was just a'ight for me, dawg...

after twelve, our first impression is:

1) Von

2) Lil

3-7) Jorge, Ju'Not, Kendall, Scott, Taylor

8-12) Alex, Arianna, Felicia, Kristen, Nathaniel


* * *

Likely to make it through this week -- first impressions (alphabetically...):

Von Swift; Lil Rounds; Ju'Not Joyner

* * *

Darkhorse candidates this week (alphabetically...):

Scott MacIntyre; Taylor Vaifanua

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This Week In Tonight In American Idol [18 February 2009]

I didn't have the chance to watch Idol live on Wednesday due to previous commitments. But that's okay, because there really isn't much point to "live-blogging" the "results show", because the only important takeaway is "who left?".

But also as a result of said previous commitment, I don't know "who left?".

So, I'm doing an after-the-fact semi-live-ish-blog in which I'll offer up my first impressions on some of the changes that result from the new semi-final elimination scheme...

More -- or less -- as always, after the jump...
[Due to the timing of this, and the whole "tell us who left!" thingy, we won't be bothering with time codes...sue us! -- Eds.]

Ryan: 24 million votes after Tuesday's performance episode, almost 10 million more than "at this time last year"...okay, that's impressive...

Ryan: Kara, who disappointed you last night?

Kara: Stevie, Casey, Stephen...
Randy: Simon...
Kara: Simon...

Ryan: I'm not talking about after the show, I'm talking about during the telecast

CHECK PLEASE!

I can't be bothered to unpack this group performance, because it's late, but I am actually glad we'll get three of these over the next few weeks, because I actually like these...and F'IN' NINE OF THESE PEOPLE* ARE GOING HOME TONITE!

[* not necessarily nine of these people, moron...up to three of these people could come back as wildcards -- Eds.]

Ryan recaps Tuesday nite..."but, it was Tatiana who turned the nite around"...

SRSLY? was Ryan watching the same show I was???

Casey to the stage (she's gone, of course...)

Ryan: unfortunately, you're not in the Top 12

Stephen to the stage (also gone...)

Ryan: you...are...NOT in the Top 12

Alexis to the stage

OK, SRLSY PEOPLE, DID YOU WATCH LAST NITE'S SHOW??? THE FIRST TRACTOR-SEAT-OF-SAFETY HAS ALEXIS' NAME WRITTEN ALL OVER IT!

Ryan: you made it into the Top 12

i am SHOCKED!!!

So, here's a twist, perhaps -- after Ryan tells the semifinalist s/he is safe, s/he who is being roiled by butterflies must sing again...this is a change from previous seasons, when it was the rejectee who had the chance to sing again...to undoubtedly give her/him another chance to use the Idol stage to promote her/his career...

or maybe this is a an Alexis-Grace-only rule, giving voters another chance to hear someone they heard little of in previous weeks?

maybe this bodes well for Ricky Braddy???

Ricky Braddy and Jackie Tohn to the stage (Jackie is gone, but whaddabout Ricky???)

Ryan: Ricky, you are not in the Top 12

Ryan: Jackie, Simon wins, you are also not in the Top 12

Anoop "Dogg" Desai and Michael Sarver to the stage...

Ryan: the person going through to the Top 12 is...Michael

Ryan: ...Anoop heads home

And Rascal Flatts appears on stage to perform "I Don't Want To Be"

Ryan tells us that after 24 million total votes, only 20K separated Michael and Anoop...I guess that's a reminder -- you have to vote for your favorite...

Prediction for the rest of this show and Semifinals Weeks: Danny will make it through tonite, and Anoop is teed up as a "wildcard" finalist...

Oh, this is clever...after Ryan promos the new "American Idol Experience" attraction at Walt Disney World in Orlando -- using a tape of David Cook performing with Carrie Underwood -- he's ready for "the next two contestants"...

wait, why doesn't he name names? Oh, because it's really just Carly Smithson and Michael Johns from last year's finals, here to promote something (which I'm sure has nothing to do with the "American Idol Experience" thingy...)

[reminder: if you've forgotten how awesome the Smithson/Johns duet on "The Letter" was during last year's "final results show", please google your youtubes for the video...please -- Eds.]

holy crap! my editors paused the TiVo and inserted the above before I had any idea what these two crazy kids would be doing here! let's listen and decide whether this compares to last year's "original"...also, find that video!...

Incredible, even though I think last year's performance was slightly better...

Also: Joanna Pacitti -- please watch this video and last year's performance again, and write an essay about...your choice of themes...

Ann Marie, stand up...

Brent, stand up...

Stevie, stand up...

Ryan: none of you made it into the Top 12

Ryan: Danny and Tatiana, to the stage...

Ryan: Paula -- who is it?

Paula: Danny

Ryan: after the break...

Ryan: the person going through to the Top 12 is...Danny

Danny sings again, as Tatiana melts in a pile of tears...

To recap: Alexis Grace, Danny Gokey, and Michael Sarver made it through to the Top 12, with 4th place vote-getter Annop Desai well-positioned for a wildcard birth...

...until next week [?]

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This Week In Tonight In American Idol [17 February 2009]

pre-show-ish: Hai! tonite I'm back with a live-ish first-impression blog. We'll see how this works. [We're doing this from a TVR'd recording, but it is still sorta live-ish, we swear! -- Eds.]

First, a little housekeeping...

There are some changes to this year's semifinal format. We have 36 semifinalists this year, instead of the last few years' 24. For each of the next three weeks, 12 semifinalists will compete on Tuesday, and America will vote, and each week the Top Female, the Top Male, and the next-highest vote-getter (regardless of gender) will advance to the finals. The judges also will be able to advance three "wildcard" contestants to the finals.

Tonite, we begin the first round-of-12-semifinalists. We are two hours tonite...LIVE!!!
8:03: Advice from the judges...blah, blah, blah, in it to win it...blah, blah, blah...bring it...

8:05: Only Simon gets it right -- for the next three weeks, only 25% of the contestants know they will get through...unlike in recent years, when *most* contestants knew they were safe each week...

8:06: Our theme tonite -- hits from the Billboard Hot 100 "since the charts began"...which means the Idols can sing basically any pop song they want from the last 60 years, but which also obviously means we'll have the usual mix of 60's and...er...70's "standards" tonite...

8:07: Our first 12 semis: Jackie Tohn, Ricky Braddy, Alexis Grace, Brent Keith, Stevie Wright, Anoop Desai, Casey Carlson, Michael Sarver, Ann Marie Boskovich, Stephen Fowler, Tatiana Del Toro, and Danny Gokey...

Wow! This is actually a very talented group! Many of these people are going home tomorrow...bummer...

8:07: First up is "Miss Personality" Jackie Tohn...singing Elvis' "A Little Less Conversation"...

...and she turns it into a Kansas City Ramada lounge song...

NO

"folks, don't forget to try the fish..."

also, doing herself no favors with the pants and the shoes...

I won't bother to recap the judges' opinions, cuz I'd be here forever...for the semis, I'll just give my insta-reactions...

gimme a break -- it's been a year since i did this...

8:10: BTW, Simon completely agrees with me...

8:12: Oh great -- three weeks of Ryan asking the families "how did the apple of your eye do? how mean was simon?"

sigh...

8:18: next up is Ricky Braddy...obviously, the intro order will be tonite's performance order...

he sings "A Song For You" by Leon Russell...

damn, this is good...

okay, this is really good...

all the judges agree, but Simon wonders whether he has "any star quality"...

8:22: Yep, here's the family again...this is how we'll fill two hours for the next three weeks...

8:28: All performances this season are available on iTunes. Good call, American Idol...

8:30: Next up: Alexis Grace...one of Idol's many fuschia-haired young moms this season...

...singing "Never Loved A Man" by Aretha Franklin...singing Aretha is almost always a bad choice...let's see how she does...

damn! this is also really quite good...

it will be so hard to "eliminate" nine people tonite...

Simon: best of the three so far..."reminds me of Kelly Clarkson...one to watch..."

8:39: Next up is Brent Keith...and we have our first tape FUBAR of the season? oh, and now the tape is back...

was that Tatiana on the tape?

8:40: Brent is back, and he sings "Hick Town", by Jason Aldean...

this is doing nothing for me...

the judges aren't really digging it either...Brent is in trouble, considering how well Ricky and Alexis have already done...

here come the Bucky Covington comparisons....RUH ROH!

8:44: Brent returns to the couch, and Ryan has already started talking to Brent's wife before Brent even gets there...already, the show has a "going over" feel to it...

8:50: Next up is Stevie Wright...she says she's been wanting to do this "since I was nine years old, when the show began"...

thanks, Stevie, for making me feel REALLY FUCKING OLD!!!

8:51: Stevie is singing "You Belong With Me", by Taylor Swift, another really young artist with whom Stevie connects...

and this is really underwhelming...

NO

Taylor Swift is not a great singer...but Stevie Wright is no Taylor Swift...if you get my drift...

and, SHOCKINGLY!!!, the judges are savaging her...

Simon: "it was terrible...zero chance of you making it through to the next round after that..."

8:55: Next is...Anoop Desai..."Anoop Dogg"...

Anoop is singing "Angel Of Mine" by Monica, which is a terrific song...

okay, this is fantastic...this guy has real potential...he's not Archuleta-esque...he probably needs a new look, but he has the vocal chops...

8:58: Anoop Dogg gets the first Paula Standing-O of the nite!

The judges are not crazy about the song choice, but they all agree he has "it"...if Anoop doesn't make "Top 3" on Wednesday, he's probably a lock as a wildcard...

9:06: Next up is Casey Carlson...Casey's singing "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic" by The Police...

there really are like two tiers tonite...this is "Tier 2"...and that's not where Casey wants to be...

Casey gets the first "karaoke" comment of the nite (from Randy)?...the judges are savaging Casey...Casey gets the first "you're beautiful" comment of the nite (from Paula)?

Simon: "threw it all away..."

and, they're right...

9:17: Next up is "oil rigger" and Ryan's "twin", Michael Sarver...he's singing "I Don't Want To Be" by Gavin DeGraw, which is a much better song than most pop critics give it credit for...

okay, when did Rascal Flatts vocalist Gary LeVox substitute himself in this competition for Michael? man, is this weak...

[LeVox is alright, but this IS weak -- Eds.]

the judges agree it was not a good choice, but they all agree they like him and would like to see him continue...

9:23: Next up: Ann Marie Boskovich, a "demo singer" (oh noes! another ringer!!!)...

she's singing "Natural Woman" from Aretha...please scroll back up...

it's "demo singer"-worthy, which puts it around the bottom...WHOA! what was that note?...the VERY bottom of Tier 1...

or maybe the top of Tier 2

OH, WHOA! AGAIN???

TIER 2!!!

top or middle?

PAULA ABDUL OUT-OF-IT SCALE WATCH: Paula thinks this is Ann Marie's best performance...discuss...

Simon: ruined your one chance...sorry...

9:34: Next up: Stephen Fowler, who's had some trouble remembering his lyrics...tonight, he will try to remember the lyrics to "Rock With You", by Michael Jackson...

okay, this is the "bottom Tier 1 slash top Tier 2" performance...

did AI producers deliberately give us 3 good performers every week, and 1 maybe-good performer each week, so there'd be an obvious Top 12?

the judges are not happy with this...

Simon: i wish you HAD forgotten the lyrics...corny...

[even Randy agrees with "corny"...]

9:44: Next up: everyone's "favorite" contestant, Tatiana Del Toro...

Tatiana, who has obviously won the Nobel Prize multiple times, thinks it would be a great idea to sing Whitney tonite...i'm not sure "which Whitney song?" is a question on which we should waste our time, but the answer is: "Saving All My Love For You"

i'd call this a passable wedding-band performance, but i suspect this is the end -- HOLY SHIT! what was that note?

THIS IS THE END OF THE LINE FOR TATIANA!!!

FUCKING FINALLY!!!

and Randy is giving her props for "moments"...and Kara says "moments"...Paula and her meds can't wait for this show to be over -- she uses the word "beautiful" twice -- but not in reference to Tatiana's looks...Simon doesn't know what to make of her...

HOLY FUCKING SHIT -- SHE'S MAKING IT THROUGH, ISN'T SHE???

9:56: Last up tonite, and I hope they hit their mark, because I have this on DVR, is Danny Gokey...

seriously, "Hero", by Mariah??? seriously???

okay, here's the fourth member of Tier 1

yeah, that was good

both Paula and Kara give "Standing O"-s to this...

* * * * *

DHMBIB's quick insta-analysis coming in a few minutes...

* * * * *

Okay, let's remember the new rules this year: the Top (vote-getting) Female, the Top (vote-getting Male), and the next-highest vote-getter advance...and the judges will select three wildcard contestants from all three weeks...

Here is DHMBIB's insta-analysis from Semifinals Week 1 (asterisk indicates "should advance"; double-asterisk indicates "should be wildcard-worthy"):

1) Alexis Grace* -- far and away the best female performance of the nite, and on reflection the best overall performance of the nite
2) Anoop Desai* -- better than the judges gave him credit for
3) Danny Gokey*
4) Ricky Braddy**

[huge gap here]

[pick a name out of the hat -- does it matter?? -- Eds.]

5) Stephen Fowler
6) Tatiana Del Toro
7) Ann Marie Boskovich
8) Michael Sarver
9) Brent Keith
10) Jackie Tohn
11) Casey Carlson
12) Stevie Wright

* * * * *

after-show-ish: voting may or may not be closed in all time zones, but DialIdol is predicting this:

Women:

1) Alexis Grace

[no other woman is remotely even close...if you saw the show, you're not surprised to read that...]

Men:

1) Danny Gokey [safe]
2) Michael Sarver
3-5) Annop Desai; Ricky Braddy; Brent Keith [too close to call]
6) Stephen Fowler [gone]

* * * * *

"see" you tomorrow...

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This Week In Tonight In American Idol [20 May 2008]

7:58 PM: Top 2 Week -- THE FINALS -- is here. FINALLY!

We'll be live-ish blogging here tonite, but, as always, if you want a PROFESSIONAL liveblog, you should visit Maura here.

They've switched up the format this year, it seems. Davidx2 will sing three songs tonite, but apparently for the first time ever, Cookie is being giving a pass on singing a song he's already sung this season. Stay tuned...

8:01 PM: That funny-ten-years-ago-but-annoying-now boxing announcer guy, Michael "Let's Get Ready To Rumblllllllllllllle!" Buffer, introduces our two finalists, who come out dressed as boxers.

My money's on Cookie.

8:05 PM: Oh, fabulous -- Ryan is keeping the whole "title fight between undefeateds" meme going.

8:08 PM: LickyLoo won the coin toss and will go second, because Dadager told him to. Sigh...

Cookie is rocking the trimmed facial hair tonite. Not making any pretentions about "who he is".

8:10 PM: Advice from the judges? Leave it all on the stage blah blah blah...

8:11 PM: Davids with some nice words for each other...

LickyLoo: this guy's awesome!

Cookie: you've just been one of the consistently nice people...as far as I'm concerned, the competition's over...we're just havin' fun...

8:14 PM: I'm really WAY over the boxing metaphors...

Cookie is up first with his song choice -- "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For", by U2.

This is the first time a U2 song has been cleared for AI. This has fueled speculation today that Bono will be "the biggest star in the world" guest on tomorrow's results show.

Cookie nuDaughtry's this very well, and, yes, makes it his own. That was a great performance.

Ruh-roh! Randy's been drinking from Paula's cup. he calls this "The Duel Of 2007"...

Randy: i'm gonna call you "DC" 'cuz we're "boyz" at this point...i don't think you did everything you could with that, but i loved that scoop-up at the end..that was hot, baby, HOT!!!
Paula: you may not have found what you're looking for, but we have found david cook...david cook has ARRIVED! you're in great voice...
Simon: i thought it was phenomenal...

I think Randy is in the tank for LickyLoo...

8:19 PM: LickyLoo is up next with "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me", by Elton John.

It's a predictable choice, especially given last week's poor stage performance during the modern "With You".

Wait -- I've seen and heard this before...

Oh yeah! -- it's the same GD performance he gives EVERY GD TIME!!!

I say: LickyLoo has no career ahead of him. He has no stage presence whatsoever. No future on the radio. No future on Broadway. A decent selling first album -- "decent" in this environment meaning maybe platinum -- maybe -- but that's it.

But, of course, Randy is in the tank for him already...

Randy: one of the best performances of the season...picked the right time to peak...FLAWLESS!!! MOLTEN HOT!!!
Paula: my heart's still pounding [from the meds??? -- Ed.]...chills up and down my arms [from -- oh, never mind -- Ed.]...the sun is never gonna go down on you...beautiful, sunny, sunny performance...
Simon: i thought last week you were "okay"...i thought tonite's performance was arguably the best you've done so far...

Simon: Round 1 goes to archuleta...

8:27 PM: Round 2 has the contestants tackling their choice of the entrants in the Idol songwriters' contest. For the first time -- not counting Taylor Hicks' revolt in Season 5 -- there is no "common" coronation song. The Idols got to choose which one they wanted to perform.

Cookie is up first, and he's singing a song called "Dream Big" by You.

Cookie's also brought the guitar out. I was skeptical about the decision to allow the Idols to play instruments during their performances, but I've come to enjoy it, and it's probably helped some Idols -- Brooke and Jason, I'm looking at you! -- get further than they should have.

This is song is very Journey-reunion-tastic, but Cookie is rocking the shite out of it!

Randy: the song was just okay for me, but what really made it work for me was you were singing you're face off!
Paula: you took a song that we don't know and made us fall in love with it...
Simon: using the boxing analogy, it was a bit of a lightweight...

Okay, so Simon is in the tank for Archie, too???

Simon: ...i thought the end was okay...bearing in mind, this is supposed to be a winning song, it didn't feel like a winning moment for me...

Audience boos...

The only way LickyLoo can lose this if every other eliminated contestants' fans have gone over to Cookie...

8:37 PM: Up next is LickyLoo, who of course has chosen the very-Idol-tastically-titled "In This Moment".

Of COURSE he's going to win.

Wait, I've heard this before...

(Sigh...)

Randy: wasn't crazy about the song...[and then Randy trots out the "in the zone...you could sing the phonebook" "critique"]...
Paula: on fire tonite...
Simon: you definitely chose the better song...in keeping with the nite...Round 2 goes to archuleta...

8:45 PM: Ryan says Randy and Paula say "it's too close to call"...

Wait -- this is the "singer's choice" round? Like Clive chose a U2 song for Cookie?

Anyways, Cookie says he'll be taking on The World I Know", by Collective Soul. Cookie says he's never sung this before, which is a...fib...because he was supposed to sing this last week before he switched up to sing Switchfoot's "Dare You To Move". In other words, he thought he was safe last week, and he wanted to save this song to go "out" on...

Okay, fibber, or not, that was a great performance. Now, Cookie -- HE has a career ahead of him...

David is very emotional...he gets a "standing O" from the audience.

Randy: very nice job...
Paula: you're standing in your truth...i applaud you...["standing O" from Paula]
Simon: i want to say publicly that you are actually one of the nicest, most sincere contestants we've had...it was a beautiful song, but it was completely and utterly the wrong song choice for you tonite...you should've sung "Billie Jean" or "Hello"...

8:55 PM: LickyLoo finishes up the nite with a reprise of "Imagine" by John Lennon.

And after the "we're sorry, we're so, so sorry" speeches the judges just gave Cookie, LickyLoo can't lose this competition unless possibly he decides to sing the verse about imaging there's no Heaven or Hell.

And...he doesn't sing that verse...

America, here's you're new American Idol -- DAVID ARCHULETA!!!

Randy goes off script and practically announces that the producers have manipulated the contest into a Archuleta-Cook final...

Randy: we thought all season it would come down to this...you are exactly what this show is about -- finding the best singer we can find, AND THE BEST SINGER OF SEASON SEVEN IS RIGHT THERE!!!
Paula: you've left me speechless...you were stunning tonite...
Simon: tonite, we've witnessed one of the great finals...tonite, you came out to win, and what we have witnessed is "a knockout"...

(groan...)

* * * * *

INSTA-REACTION:

David Archuleta has won. I don't see any way he can lose.

David, don't forget to ask Taylor Hicks and Ruben Studdard how it felt to them, too.

* * * * *

9:00 PM: Hai! Look! There's Ruben right there, singing this year's "yer outta here" song, "Celebrate Me Home". David -- you can ask him about "winning" the show in just, like, 2 MINUTES!!!

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This Week In Tonight In American Idol [13 May 2008]

7:58 PM: Oh, hai!

Top 3 Week is here.

In case you might be glued to a cable news channel right about now, don't bother (depending on your leanings) -- Senator Clinton is projected as a 2-1 winner based on exit polls.

8:02 PM: Ryan says this is "the closest race this show has ever seen".

Wait, which race is he talking about???

8:03 PM: In case you'd rather read a "real" liveblog, try this...

I promise I WON'T check it out until after the show...So you can read an unadulterated, uninformed liveblog...

Because I love you all THAT MUCH!!!!!!1!1one!1

8:05 PM: Top 3 Week has the Idols going home for a victory lap in their hometowns. And also, they all sing 3 songs this week: a judge's choice, a producers' choice, and a personal choice.

First up: Lickey-Lips.

Ruh-roh!!!!!

Lickey-Lips is first singing Paula's choice -- "And So it Goes", by Billy Joel.

It starts as an acoustic performance, and here come the strings and piano.

Appropriately sappy. But I have to confess -- pretty good.

Oh, Banned Archuleta is IN THE HOUSE, DAWG!

Randy: Paula chose a dope song for you...you can sing anything...i would've liked to have seen you seen you playing the piano...but it doesn't matter...you are in the zone! you are in it to win it!!!
Paula: it was a pure and sunny performance...tonite, i thought you were a storyteller...i it was a beautiful performance...
Simon: it was very good...no surprises...a bit predictable...it was good -- i don't think it was outstanding...anyway, good...

8:11 PM: Next up is Broadway Grrrl.

Is Randy in fatigues tonite???

Randy has chosen "If I Ain't Got You", by Alicia Keys.

This is fraught with land mines for Syesha.

Okay, FULL DISCLOSURE...I have been on the Syesha bandwagon for a while now, but that was FREAKIN' AWESOME!

very nice job...

Randy: an amazing job...you are peaking at the right time in this competition...
Paula: difficult to do a song that's so identifiable with such a beautiful artist...you look absolutely stunning...
Simon: you sang that very well...i wish Randy had chosen something where you wouldn't sound so much like the original...overall...and you look gorgeous, BTW...

8:16 PM: Next up -- IN THE PIMP SPOT!!! -- is Nu-Daughtry. Simon has chosen for him "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face", by Roberta Flack.

Simon chose this because he wanted to challenge Nu-Daughtry to do something original with a great song.

Oh SNAP!!!

Okay, this is competent, and maybe DIFFERENT -- but #3 of 3..."Sorry!"

Nu-Daughtry has one style.

Randy: been a fan since day-one...loved the high note at the end, but i wish Simon had picked something less predictable...i want you to rock!...i needed more rock from that...
Paula: it's actually about you!...you're my second favorite person who sings that...
Simon: ...maybe biased, but one of your best performances...this is what makes you brilliant, because you take chances...round one goes to Cook-and-Cowell...

8:25 PM: Looks like we're going to 9:30-ish tonite?

Lickey-Lips returns to perform his own choice, "With You", by Chris Brown.

Wait -- who TF is Chris Brown???

Oh yeah...

Oh golly...

Even Lickey-Lips can make me tired of an inescapable Chris Brown track...

But kudos to Lickey-Lips for singing something that is not on the victrola playlists of tonite's W.Va. primary voters...

Not bad...

Randy; ...i applaud that you are trying out something new and young...not sure it was the right song for you...
Paula: ...perfect...right tone for your voice...great job...
Simon: ...applaud you that you didn't do a shrieky ballad...like a chihuahua trying to be a tiger...it's not really you...all a little bit awkward...

[Randy agrees]

Randy: ...not really you...

8:31 PM: Next up is Broadway-Grrrl. Her personal choice is "Fever", a 50-year-old Broadway standard covered by Madonna, among others...

Oh, there's that word -- "Broadway" -- again...

Those of you who had Syesha in your "elimination pool" tonite, are you still confident in your pick???

That was solid, baby!

Randy: "a very, very, interesting song choice"...but you sang it amazingly, amazingly well...a great performance...
Paula: ...i'm surprised you picked this song...i'm surprised you picked this song, but i'm not sure it shows me who Syesha is as an artist...
Simon: ...i think you probably will regret that decision tomorrow...because you had a chance to prove that you are a contemporary recording artist...instead, you did quite a lame cabaret performance...

8:40 PM: Nu-Daughtry returns with his personal choice, "Dare You To Move", by "religious" rockers Switchfoot.

Is Nu-Daughtry becoming the new Nu-Smithson? Technically fine, but nothing to write home about???

That was just "meh" for me...

Is Scott Stapp quietly chuckling right now?

(Yes, I know Scott Stapp had nothing to do with Switchfoot...I don't need your "Dear Shit Fer Brains" letters-to-the-editor about that...)

ZOMG!!! Does that sign actually say: "Cougars 4 Cook"???

Isn't that one of the signs of the Apocalypse???

Randy: ...performance-wise, wasn't your best tonite...a little pitchy...
Paula: ...hard to get a long song in to 90-seconds...just got into it at the end of the song...
Simon: pretty much what i would've expected...all three of you had an okay middle round...one more round to go...

8:43 PM: Lickey-Lips is back with the producers' choice, "Longer", by Dan Fogelberg.

You don't know how much it just hurt me to type that...

Technically perfect, but obviously boring.

Randy: interesting song choice blah blah sing the phone book blah blah in the zone blah blah another hot one from you blah blah
Paula: lovely performance blah blah
Simon: sang the song very well blah blah but the song and the lyrics blah blah good enough to make it through to next week blah blah

[even the judges are tired of carrying Lythgoe's Archuleta-pail-of-water at this point...]

8:52 PM: Broadway Grrrl is back with her producers' choice, "Hit Me Up", by Gia Farrell, from the Happy Feet soundtrack. Never heard of it? Yeah, well, maybe they want her gone...

Sigh...

Actually, I thought that was pretty good...

Randy: Rihanna-esque...just "a'ight" for me...
Paula: liked it, but don't know if it's the type of song that defines you as Syesha-the-artist...don't know if it's enough to get you into the final...
Simon: ...better than the second song...you had your best moment with the Sam Cooke song last week...

THANK YOU!!!

I called Syesha's performance of "A Change Is Gonna Come" last week maybe the best of the season, and people laughed at me...

hmmmmph!

8:58 PM: Last up tonite is Nu-Daughtry, who is taking on one of the most hack-tacular songs of modern movie-pop music -- "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing", performed by Aerosmith and written by Diane Warren.

It's an Aerosmith-worthy performance.

Paula gives the performance one of her standing-O seal-clap responses...

Randy: ...okay for me...very predictable...
Paula: ...where the beginning and the middle and the end is...great performance...SEE YA IN THE FINALS!!!

ZOMG: Diane Warren is in DA HOUSE tonite!!!

Simon: ...one of the great songs of all times...I have to tell you, David Cook wins the nite!!!

okay, so the judges are TOTALLY in the tank AGAINST Syesha...

HRRMRMRMRMPPHPHPHP!!!!!!!!!!!1111one!!111

* * * * *

EARLY NEXT MORNING UPDATE:

The AI "polls" were open for four hours last nite, so the DialIdol numbers weren't "final" until not long before I write this.

If you've been following along, you won't be surprised by the results:

1) David Cook
2) David Archuleta
3) Syesha Mercado ("red light"; predicted to be voted off)

Sigh...

It's too bad, really, for so many reasons. This whole thing has felt "fixed" from the start. And I thought Syesha actually had the best nite last nite!

Sigh...

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This Week In Tonight In American Idol [06 May 2008]

8:00 PM: We're back, with our certain-to-be most challenging live-ish blog yet!

Hey, we've been under a rock for the last three months. Is there anything important happening in the non-Idol world tonite?

Trick question -- there is nothing important in the non-Idol world.

8:02 PM: Our theme tonite is the Rock-n-Roll Hall Of Fame's 500 most "influential" songs in shaping rock-n-roll, or some BS-y thing like that.

Basically..."Idols! Your choice!"

8:03 PM: In other news...With very few precincts reporting...

NC: Obama 66%, Clinton 32% (1%)
IN: Clinton 57%, Obama 43% (36%)

8:04 PM: Cookie draws the "ruh roh!" first spot tonite. Cookie will be taking on "Hungry Like The Wolf", by Duran Duran.

Need I remind anyone that Chris Daughtry was the "shocking elimination" in Top 4 week two years ago???

Honestly, that was just a'ight for me.

Randy: that was an okay song choice...solid performance...that was just okay for you, not amazing...
Paula: your "Hungry Like The Wolf" has left me with a big appetite...
Simon: i thought it was good...a little bit copycat (whaaaa???? copying whom?)...is it good enough to get through to next week? probably yes...

8:10 PM:

NC: Obama 65%, Clinton 34% (5%)
IN: Clinton 56%, Obama 44% (38%)

8:12 PM: Next up is Syesha. Syesha is taking on "Proud Mary", by Ike & Tina Turner. This is an excellent choice by Syesha.

15 seconds in, and I already suspect it'll be a top-3 of the nite performance.

Syesha wisely is wearing a Tina-esque dress that shows lots of her beautiful legs...rowrrr...

Okay, that was fantastic...

Randy: 3d week in a row that Syesha has showed up, and she's in the zone!
Paula: you look like a star...you've turned into a beautiful woman with a magnetic voice and presence...
Simon: a bad, shrieky impersonation of Tina Turner...i didn't have fun...

8:18 PM:

NC: Obama 64%, Clinton 34% (9%)
IN: Clinton 56%, Obama 44% (42%)

8:21 PM: Hey there's that Irish woman with the tattoos who is such a loser she could only manage 6TH FUCKING PLACE!!!

(pouring a little malt liquor on the curb for Carly Smithson...)

8:22 PM: Next up is Dreadlocky. Dreadlocky is taking on...wait for it..."I Shot The Sheriff", by some Jamaican dude and some English dude.

It's predictably shlocky.

Randy: karaoke Bob Marley...nothing special about it...wasn't good for me...
Paula: i wasn't crazy about the performance, or the song...you're so genuine blah blah blah...
Simon: "Jason, stand back"...that was utterly atrocious...that is a song you do not touch...the performing and the singing was as bad as i've ever heard...this was like a first-round audition massacre...

Simon is absolutely right. Is the fix in tonite???

8:27 PM: Last up in Round 1 tonite is Licky-Lips. Licky-Lips is taking on "Stand By Me", by The Drifters.

AND IT'S THE EXACT SAME G-D PERFORMANCE HE GIVES EVERY SINGLE G-D TIME!!!

Which means, stamp his ticket to the finals!!!

Randy: one guy who every time he hits the stage, is trying to win the whole thing! dude was hot!
Paula: you're way beyond your years...you're seasoned already...
Simon: you could've whistled a song and it would've sounded better than the last song...very good choice of song..struggled a little bit at the end..the best performance so far...

8:34 PM:

NC: Obama 63%, Clinton 35% (14%)
IN: Clinton 54%, Obama 46% (52%)

8:36 PM: Okay, I may be the world's biggest fan of The Who, and Cookie will be singing "Baba Fucking O'Reilly". How stoked am I???

So far, it's a little too Cornell-ishly emo for me.

Dude! Roger Daltrey practically SCREAMS this songs!

Okay, now he's picked it up a notch!

I'm liking it better, but I still think he missed a golden opportunity there...

Randy: something a little different going on with you tonite, but that's the David Cook i've grown to love...you're the resident rocker dude, live that out, have fun with that...just be you, cuz you were great...
Paula: i just want more! i want more David Cook! i'm really humbled to sit here and watch your soul (???)
Simon: welcome back, David Cook

8:42 PM:

NC: Obama 63%, Clinton 35% (15%)
IN: Clinton 54%, Obama 46% (54%)

8:44 PM: Syesha comes back with "A Change Is Gonna Come", by Sam Cooke. Another excellent song choice!

Which means Syesha's probably cooked this week. Because it's not one of Sam's better-known songs.

This is Syesha's best nite of the competition. Which means Syesha's probably cooked this week.

That was fucking outstanding!

Randy: i did not love as much as the first song...i didn't love the arrangement...i didn't even like the arrangement with the vocals...

Fuck you, Randy! Have you ever heard this song???

Randy:...felt all disconnected...trying to be something that it wasn't...
Paula: how you orchestrated your vocals -- beautiful...you turned this into a superstar performance...you HAVE changed...you are magnificent...welcome to your dream, Syesha, this is it for you!

At this point, Syesha breaks crying...Paula gives her a standing ovation...

Simon: i have to be fair, and i'm going to agree with Paula...

the audience erupts! and Syesha breaks down even harder...

Simon:...with all due respect, I think Randy got that completely wrong...

I'm going to say it -- that was probably the best performance by any contestant this season...

8:52 PM: Next up is Dreadlocky. Dreadlocky returns with "Mr. Tambourine Man", by Bob Dylan.

Dreadlocky is doing "the Dylan version", not "The Byrds version", complete with acoustic guitar.

And, right out of the gate...

HE FORGOT THE FUCKING LYRICS!

Which only means he'll be tonite's leading vote-getter.

Randy doesn't even bother with criticism...

Randy: tell me, how did you think that was??? (laughs) jason's not in the zone tonite...
Paula: it is what it is...obviously, it didn't blow us a way, but you blow me away...
Simon: Jason, i'd pack your suitcase...

8:57 PM: Last up tonite is Licky Lips, who returns with "Love Me Tender".

Licky-Lips is such a tool -- okay, a young tool -- that he's not even familiar with one of Elvis' most famous ballads.

For some unknown reason, David has decided to perform this song the way Brooke would've performed it if she'd survived last week.

Randy: another great performance...i love how you caressed each word...the hot vocals of the nite right there!
Paula: one of my favorite performances from you...i felt your heart...it was fantastic...beautiful...
Simon: David, you didn't BEAT the competition tonite, you CRUSHED the competition tonite...

INSTA-REACTION:

Based on the performances alone, this is an obvious rank:

1) David A. (barely)
2) Syesha
[big gap]
3) David C.
[WTF???-sized gap]
4) Jason

Jason has openly spoken recently of being tired of the weekly grind. He knows he's already established whatever fanbase (and CD-buying base, and concert-going base, and...) he possibly could. Did Jason tank it tonite?

I'll be back in a bit with more, but now I'm off to get election results.

NC: Obama 60%, Clinton 38% (26%)
IN: Clinton 53%, Obama 47% (68%)

* * * * *

UPDATED:

DialIdol is in with their numbers, and the numbers are not pretty for a certain be-dreadlocked sensitive dude:

1) David C. (safe)
2) David A. (safe)
3) Syesha (safe)
4) Jason (predicted to be voted off)

I haven't been following DialIdol "from Day One", but I have never seen any contestant get the dreaded red light. Whether you believe in conspiracy theories or not, it does indeed look like Jason will celebrate himself home this week.

Also...

NC: Obama +14%
IN: Clinton 51%, Obama 49%

It's over...

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This Week In Tonight In American Idol [29 April 2008]

7:55 PM: Top 5 Week is here, and Neil Diamond is in the house to mentor our Idols.

The Idols will each be singing two songs tonite. Which means we're guaran-damn-teed to miss the 9:00 PM upcut.

Sorry, Hell's Kitchen fans.

8:00 PM: Neil Diamond has an extensive catalog of well-known, well-loved pop hits. But is he a draw for the younger viewers Idol is hemorrhaging these days? We'll find out tomorrow and Thursday, for sure.

8:02 PM: The contestants won't hear from the judges until after their second performance. Is this new?

First up tonite is Jason.

RUH-ROH!!!

Jason will take on "Forever In Blue Jeans" and September Morn". Jason looks uncomfortable during the mentoring session, but ND thinks he'll be fine once he hits the stage.

ND's easy-going strummy pop style actually should fit Jason well.

Okay, here's Jason.

This is actually quite enjoyable. Jason's thin voice disserves him as he tries to hit the higher, more powerful notes, but this is perfectly listenable.

8:07 PM: Here's a new iPod+iTunes commercial I haven't yet seen. "Shut Up And Let Me Go", by The Ting Tings. Not bad. Catchy.

8:09 PM: Next up is David C. David will be taking on "I'm Alive" and "All I Really Need Is You".

ND is surprised by David's song choices, calling them "songs most people have never heard before" and David's choices "gutsy". But ND confesses that David gave him goose bumps during rehearsals.

David's playing an electric guitar sporting the initials of his brother, Adam. David's "rock star" jacket also rocks AC's initials.

David's performance is electric and very Ed-Kowalczyk-tastic, but it doesn't really show off his range. I'm predicting at least one "that was just a'ight for me, Dawg" from the judges.

8:13 PM: Next up is Brooke. Brooke will be taking on "I'm A Believer" with a guitar, and "I Am, I Said" with a piano. ND suggests that she change the line "I was New York-born and -raised" to I was Arizona..."

Neil Diamond week is really exposing the limited vocal ranges of our Idols. I think Brooke has sung only three different notes in this performance.

That was pretty meh overall.

8:19 PM: Next up LickyLips David A. Not surprisingly, David is taking on "Sweet Caroline" and "Coming To America". ND is confident he'll do just fine.

Not surprisingly, LickyLips gives the same performance he gives every time, which means it's by far the best of the nite to this point.

8:23 PM: Last up is Syesha. Syesha is taking on "Hello Again" and "Thank The Lord For The Night Time". ND thinks she'll do great.

Here's Syesha singing "Hello Again", which I will always associate with that scene in Saving Silverman where Neil serenades Jason Biggs from the balcony. Flix it if you have no idea what I'm talking about.

It's got Jack Black and Steve Zahn in it, people!!!

Okay, Syesha is not bad, but she waaaaay oversang that song.

8:25 PM: Ryan brings out all of the Idols for a quick verdict from the judges...

Randy...Jason: okay, a'ight...David C.: very good, very strong...Brooke: better than last week, karaoke...David A.: the bomb...Syesha: in the zone, strong...
Paula...

Paula Abdul Out-Of-It-Scale: 11 out of 10!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paula thinks Jason has already performed twice!!!!!!!!

Paula...Jason: 1st performance, loved hearing lower register...2d performance, your usual charm was missing, not fighting hard enough to make the Top 4...

[after Ryan and the judges inform Paula Jason has only performed once...]

Simon: Paula, who was your favorite?
Paula: David C., you were fantastic...

Simon...you're all very lucky you've got two songs...Jason: forgettable...David C.: just above average...Brooke: a nightmare...

Randaula: NO!

Simon...David A.: amateurish...Syesha: old-fashioned...

Simon: you are Top 5 contestants...i want to see and hear the performance of a lifetime second time around...

8:31 PM: Jason is back with "September Morn".

It's almost exactly as meh-tacular as his first performance.

Jason is in real trouble this week.

Randy: i don't know what's happening for you tonight...that was just another okay, whatever, performance for me...definitely not the best...
Paula: it was safe...you need to get out of your comfort zone...c'mon!
Simon: we don't recognize you at the moment...for the last two weeks, this is not the Jason we put into the competition...there was no attempt to make the arrangement your own...you struggled through both songs...they were both forgettable...

8:36 PM: Next up is David C., singing "All I Really Need Is You".

David's rocking an acoustic guitar this time.

David really knows who he is. I can't wait to see how his style fares against LickyLips in the final.

Very nice, David.

Randy: you rocked the house again!...
Paula: you took two Neil Diamond songs that are not very well known, and you were the only one able to really pull it off...i feel like i'm already looking at the American Idol...
Simon: i'm going to be honest with you -- i thought the first song was okay, i thought the second song was brilliant...you actually made that feel like that song was written this year...you changed the arrangement, you made it work for you...well done...

8:43 PM: Here's Brooke, and she's back in talk-back mode. Brooke is singing "I Am, I Said".

Brooke has more range and power this time. She was listening a little bit to the judges.

This is enjoyable.

Randy: one of the tougher Neil Diamond songs to sing...nice job...
Paula: showed your vulnerability...showed how you connect...everyone loves who you are...that just works...
Simon: i really hated the first song -- it was like a girls' night out at the karaoke bar...but this is the Brooke we like, sitting behind the piano...it wasn't incredible, but it was a million times better than the first song...

8:47 PM: LickyLips is back with "Coming To America".

LickyLips gives THE SAME G-D PERFORMANCE HE GIVES EVERY G-D TIME HE PERFORMS.

I mean, seriously!!!!!!!!

I was actually underwhelmed by that.

Why would I buy a CD from this 1/2-trick pony???

Randy: definitely in the zone...another good performance...
Paula: the right song for...i love you, you're brilliant...
Simon: smart choice of song...

[Simon next says "it ticked all the boxes", which briefly gets Randy and Fox censors nervous because, with his accent, it sounded like he said "tickled the boxes"...i have no idea what that might mean, BTW...]

Simon: absolutely the right performance...

8:54 PM: Next up is Syesha, singing "Thank The Lord For The Night Time".

I haven't heard this song in a while, but I have a vague feeling that she has changed the key to fit her voice. It sounds...off.

I dunno...

Randy: in the zone...coulda been on Broadway...
Paula: first song, that vulnerable song is you, your magic...second song, a whole different side, that's your performance theatre piece...could be a pop singer, Corinne Baily Rae...softness in your voice...

Simon-to-Paula: so you liked her? this is officially the strangest show we have ever done...

Simon: you are a very good actress-singer...i think, however, you may be in trouble tonite...

Syesha: why?

Simon: because there's only five of you left...i don't think you had a really memorable second song like some of the others tonite...

Randaula: we'll see!

Insta-Reaction in 15-ish minutes...

* * * * *

INSTA-REACTION:

1) David C.
2) David A.
[huuuuuuuge gap here]
3) Brooke
4) Syesha
5) Jason

Is there any doubt in the way this contest would be shaping up if this were, say, Season 2? With Michael and Carly gone, no one remaining in the contest comes anywhere near either of the Davids in terms of having the vocal chops to be "the next American Idol". I feel like we're just marking time now, until the inevitable showdown three weeks from now.

And if I'm feeling that, is everyone else? And what does that portend for Idol's struggling ratings, as the feel of inevitability kicks in, and the need to be glued to the teevee every week dissipates?

Of course, this feel of inevitability could also point toward an upcoming SHOCKING! ELIMINATION! -- paging Chris Daughtry! -- so, maybe the fanbases of the remaining contestants should remain fully engaged.

On to tonight's performances...

Although both Davids stayed largely within their comfort zones tonite, David Cook's maturity advantage seems to be playing in his favor in his battle against David Archuleta. While David A. seems to be stuck in his Dadager-dictated Idol-friendly stylistic groove-rut, David Cook's original-for-you-the-viewer arrangements and confident performances continue to wow and impress the judges and voters. And me. I think Cookie took the night, outperforming on two unfamiliar ND songs while LickyLips was just Doolittle-y solid on the two most obvious song choices in the history of American Idol.

Okay, I might be exaggerating a bit, but I'm so over David Archuleta, I can barely articulate it. Seriously, someone thinks this guy will be a star? Clarkson, Underwood, Daughtry?

Srsly???

As for the rest of the bunch, I was most disappointed in Jason tonite. I mildly enjoyed Jason's first performance -- the soft bigotry of low expectations, I suspect -- but after I heard the "now press repeat" second performance, I had to discount his nite by ticking off his "phoning it in" boxes. And I thought ND-nite might actually work with Jason's style. Hmph.

Brooke and Syesha were both just-okay-and-just-a'ight for me tonite. But based on Syesha's history of Bottom-Three-Two-ishness, I'm afraid she'll drift down there again.

Bottom 2:

Jason, Syesha

Who will go?

Sadly, probably Syesha.

* * * * *

Okay, so didya catch Paula telling David C. after his second performance, "I feel like I'm already looking at the American Idol"?

We've already heard the judges tell Cookie that he was the only one who already looked like a star who could be on the radio right now, but I think this is the first time I've heard someone use the two "A" "I" words. This reminded me of the iconic moment from Top 3 Week of Season 3, when after Fantasia Barrino performed "The Greatest Love Of All", Simon's critique consisted solely of him asking her, "What does that say behind you?", to which Fantasia embarrassedly-but-justifiably responded, "American Idol".

Stay tuned...

* * * * *

UPDATED WEDNESDAY AM:

The polls are now closed, and the DialIdol numbers are in...

1) Syesha (safe)
2) David C. (safe)
3) David A.
4) Jason
5) Brooke

Interesting results there. I thought Syesha might be in real trouble after a good and a whaaaaa? performance, and given that her support has always been weaker than the other contestants. But I'm not surprised to see Cookie dominating Archie. I suspect Cookie is the predominant beneficiary of the elimination of Carly Smithson, both because of his stylistic similarities with Carly, and because of the two fanbases' shared desire to stop Archie.

We'll find out later tonite...

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This Week In Tonight In American Idol [22 April 2008]

7:55 PM: Here we are, " ' ready ' " to Live-ishBlog Top 6 Week. Tonight's theme is "Andrew Lloyd Webber", which sounds like an ingenious contrarian response to Idol's sinking ratings among young-ish viewers.

It's not.

8:00 PM: Oh, Jimminy! We've got an expanded "band" this week, which includes instrumentation necessary for ALW.

This is gonna suck. BIG TIME!

8:05 PM: Randy predicts it will be the "toughest nite of the season". He must have heard the rehearsals.

Ryan calls Simon out on his standard "that sounded Broadway" put-down. What should the Idols do? Simon: contemporary.

Each of the judges is squirmingly uncomfortable.

Call your local newspaper, cuz you're about to witness a TRAIN WRECK!

8:06 PM: First up tonite is Syesha.

Guess we know who's likely to go this week?

Maybe not -- ALW predicts Syesha may bring the house down.

Syesha is taking on "One Rock And Roll Too Many" from Starlight Express.

Syesha looks INCREDIBLE in that red dress. The Idol stylists look to be still on a roll.

This is a very-good-by-Syesha-standards performance. Only a modest amount of pitchiness. Great "stage presence" here.

Randy: this might surprise you, but i think not only is this your element, you could be a huge Broadway star...your best performance to-date right there...
Paula: not surprising at all...this is your happy place...you're real good at it...ALW was right -- you brought the house down...
Simon: very sexy...like Michelle Pfeiffer lying on the piano...i agree with Randy, this was one of your strongest performances so far...you showed masses of personality we haven't seen before...you're definitely more confident in this area...

I've been on the Syesha jalopy for a while, and I think that was good. How will it compare to the other 5? We'll see...

8:16 PM: Next up is Jason. Jason is unfamiliar with ALW's work.

Ruh-roh!

Jason is taking on "Memory" from Cats.

Jason doesn't know that it was sung by a "cat" on Broadway.

ALW is skeptical.

Jason has minimal instrumentation -- piano and strings.

This is definitely not Jason's style. This performance is very "breathy". His breathing is very distracting.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Weaker than Syesha, for sure.

Randy: musically, vocally, for me, it was a little bit of a train-wreck...too much melody for you...too big of a song for you...
Paula: people are used to hearing this song by a big female balladeer, and that's not who you are...but it was a very wise choice for you, because it allowed you to put your influence on the song, further identifies your unique being as an artist...

Paula then compares it to Joe Cocker's "You Are So Beautiful To Me"...Randy is skeptical...

Simon: i'm sure it felt to you as for me the longest two minutes of your life...came over as a young guy being forced to sing a song at a wedding you didn't want to sing...you were miserable throughout, i was partly miserable throughout...it's not your style of music...it was a struggle...

Ryan asks Simon, I'm voting at home, how do I vote? Simon: "don't vote".

OUCH!

8:26 PM: Next up is Brooke. Brooke is taking on "You Must Love Me", from Evita.

ALW: "I don't think that girl had a clue about what she was singing about".

OUCH!

So ALW clues Brooke in, and she finally connects with the song.

Brooke messes up for THE SECOND FREAKIN' TIME THIS SEASON and asks to start again.

After that false start, Brooke's light voice doesn't hold up well against the instrumentation. Yep, she's definitely overwhelmed by the arrangement. Plus, a little pitchy.

Randy: for me, this wasn't great...the one thing i liked that you did was you listened to Andrew Lloyd Webber...the one thing you all need to take from tonite is that you need to believe what you're singing...

Probably the most uncomfortable moment I've ever experienced on Idol occurrs next...Paula Abdul is literally speechless, eyes closed, struggling to think of ANYTHING nice to say...

Paula [finally]: you must never start and stop...[a pin drops somewhere]...this is the biggest show and the biggest platform, and you're great enough as an artist to pick up the pieces...what i did love about this performance was you didn't overact...you just were you...anything that became part-and-parcel or broken vocally was an emotional strength of yours...

Brooke is already crying...

Simon: this is why i love live teevee, it was so dramatic!...it completely threw you, you were so tense trying to remember the song, your voice was straining...it actually became quite uncomfortable...this is a tricky one...i think you're gonna be very disappointed when you watch this back...

Ryan asks Brooke why she started over...Brooke confesses to forgetting the lyrics, "the first time i've done that on this show"...apparently, when she stopped-and-started back in Top 12 Week it was NOT because she forgot or was nervous or whatevs...Ryan asks Simon for advice for Brooke, and Simon gallantly tells her she did the right thing and was "brave" to do it...Paula advises Brooke to "sing anything", but Randy agrees that she should've just stopped and restarted...

This whole exchange has a very Wednesday-at-2-minutes-before-the-upcut feel, doesn't it???

8:38 PM: Next up is "plucky little" David A. Ryan invites a bunch of schoolgirls on stage to hug Plucky. It's very weird.

Plucky is taking on "Think Of Me" from Phantom Of The Opera. ALW says the song was written for a diva, and he can't imagine what it will sound like from "a boy".

SMS to ALW: Plucky is not "a boy". He IS "a diva".

ALW tells Plucky to keep his eyes open -- "i just can't watch someone who's got their eyes closed all of the time".

David's performance is, of course, excellent.

A little more "eyes-closed-y" than ALW would want, I suspect, but excellent nonetheless.

Uh, tough call...

PUHLEEEEEEEZE!!!

Randy: you're what this show is about -- if you can sing, you can sing anything...i knew this would be a big nite for you...you even put your own personality in there, a little "Stevie" riffs...dude, it was the bomb! this boy's the one to beat!!!
Paula: absolutely perfect...took a risk on a known theatrical song, and turned it into a pop ballad...perfect...
Simon: pleasant...one of your weakest performances over the last five shows...not a performance to remember...absolutely gonna get you through to next week...forgettable for me, sorry...

Plucky is absolutely safe this week, but props to Simon for sacking up and telling Plucky he's not anointed...

8:47 PM: Next up is Carly, who wants to take on "All I Ask Of You" from Phantom Of The Opera. But ALW clearly saw last week's performance show, and Carly's "daring" cleavage-baring, tattoo-covering outfit, because he says "that's not the song for a girl with a great big chest voice...she's a big, big singer, that girl". I think he also complemented her "shoes":


[image from "Top 7 Week" courtesy americanidol.com, obvs -- Eds.]

ALW persuades Carly to take on her "second choice", "Jesus Christ Superstar", from the show of the same name.

Carly reimagines the track as an Aretha/Earth-Wind-and-Fire-influenced Gospel/R&B number.

This is fantastic! The most electric vocal of the nite!

Carly brought it!!!

That's how Joss Stone would do that song. Take that however you will.

Randy: i don't know if this was your best performance, but it was very good...
Paula: i loved so much that it was so unexpected...i thought at first that it might be in too high of a range for you, but i loved what you did in the chorus...
Simon: other than the fact that it got a little shouty in the middle, it was actually one of my favorite performances of the nite...

Ricky gives Carly a t-shirt that reads "SIMON LOVES ME (this week)". Cute, but won't win her any votes from people that just don't connect with her.

8:55 PM: Looks like we'll be "up-cut-challenged" again tonite.

Our last Idol tonite is David C. David is taking on "The Music Of The Night", from Phantom Of The Opera. ALW calls it "the most sensual, the most sexy song I've ever written".

David predictably gives the song his Cornell-Daughtry-inspired Andrea Bocelli treatment.

And he predictably NAILS IT!

Randy: i've said it before [you've already said it tonite!!! -- Eds.], i'll say it again -- if you can really sing, you can sing anything...dude, that was an amazing vocal performance...unbelievable...another hot, molten-hot lava bomb tonite, RIGHT THERE!
Paula: this song just proved more and more that you are so well-rounded as a performer...you have a beautiful instrument...fantastic...
Simon: i think you made the most of the song...this is not the side of you i like...i much prefer the grittier, more raw...too rounded-off...but you made the most of the song -- you were good...

INSTA-REACTION COMING MOMENTARILY...

* * * * *

SORTA-INSTA-REACTION:

1) David C.
2) Carly
[smallish gap]
3) David A.
4) Syesha
[biggish gap]
5) Jason
["Ticket To Ride"-sized gap]
6) Brooke

I knew it would be a tough week for the Idols, as few of them had the range of skills to meet the challenges of the Andrew Lloyd Webber songbook.

I think David Cook's take on a "staple" was not only great, but was better than I expected. David Archuleta also was as-good-as-I-expected.

But the real revelations for me were Carly Smithson and Syesha Mercado. Both turned in riveting, memorable performances of potential-train-wreck songs. Carly showed me why she's clearly Top 4 material, and Syesha showed me I haven't been crazy to be on her jalopy-bandwagon-thingy. If nothing else from this exercise, Syesha has a clear potential future on Broadway.

Jason severely underwhelmed me, with his overly-breathy performance. Dude needs to learn how to sing without excessive instrumentation covering up his technical flaws.

And what to say about Brooke? How about, "goodbye".

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This Week In Tonight In American Idol [15 April 2008]

7:55 PM: Top 7 Week is here, and tonite's "theme" -- or possibly just "mentor" -- is Mariah Carey.

Mariah, whom no one on Idol should ever sing.

Mariah, who just oh-so-coincidentally has a new album dropping...wait for it...TODAY!

8:00 PM: It's on!

Minnie Driver and Teri Hatcher are in the house tonite. I guess TPTB insist on perpetuating the myth that Ryan is an "eligible bachelor".

Ryan reminds us that last week's elimination of Michael Johns was "shocking(!)", and that every vote is "important". So, Irish-Americans For Carly, time to step it up!

Okay, Mariah is just a "mentor" this week. Whew!

8:04 PM: So maybe the Idols are doing an all-Mariah show after all? This will be bad for everyone, except possibly Syesha and Carly.

Write. It. Down.

8:05 PM: First up tonite is David A.

Ruh roh!

David is taking on "We Are Not Afraid", which is not only a MARIAH FUCKING CAREY song, but is also a WHITNEY FUCKING HOUSTON song. This could be a very. bad. idea.

David's performance is good, but I must confess I'm tiring of his one-trick-cough-Clay-Aiken-cough-pony act.

Randy: worried about tonite...you picked one of the toughest songs...i've said it before...you can sing anything...that was THA BOMB!
Paula: i know Mariah was beaming, because you made her proud...
Simon: i would agree...that was very good...you set the benchmark for the guys...you performed that very well...

8:13 PM: Next up, interestingly, is Carly. Is David Cook next???

BTW, I'm LOVING Carly's look tonite. She's covered up her sleeve tatoo -- and is rocking her "shoes" in the process.

Carly is taking on "Without You", but of course she's doing Mariah's cover of the Badfinger track. Mariah encourages Carly to go outside her normal range and take a chance.

I'm digging Carly's restrained opening, and her power finish. Very faithful to both the original and the cover.

Randy: i like that you challenged yourself with this big song...i liked the middle and the power...but you gotta believe and trust in yourself that you've got that lower range too...the beginning was a little loosey-goosey for me...it was good...
Paula: I loved that you showed vocal restraint...you made it your own...
Simon: I wanted to hear you sing this song before Mariah nite...did you pull it off? i don't think you did...
[audience boos]
Simon: i think you're over-thinking everything...i think you're wound-up...i think it was an okay version...
Paula: you gotta trust yourself...
Randy: you can do it, you can do it...

8:24 PM: Next up is Syesha, who has to be the "favorite" on Mariah nite. Syesha is taking on "Vanishing", one of the great Mariah songs long-forgotten from her debut album -- ya know, the one with "Vision Of Love" on it???

Syesha is not stealing her golden opportunity to shine.

This is pitchy and unnecessarily screamy. Much worse than Carly.

But, like Carly, Syesha is ROCKING that champagne-colored dress.

Randy: the toughest song of the nite vocally...you did a good job on it, all things considered...a couple of pitchy moments...
Paula: you're smart because you picked a song that not many people know, and can't compare you to her...tonite was unbelievably magical...
Simon: technically, very good indeed...but at this stage of the competition, i wouldn't have picked a song that not too many people know...
Paula: but people loved it, i don't think it matters whether they knew it...
Ryan: how do you feel about the show so far?
Simon: David Archuleta has stolen the show, and he's the one to beat...
Paula: and Syesha...

Okay, SERIOUSLY!

Are the judges in the tank for Syesha tonite? In the anti-tank for Carly?

Carly was MUCH better than Syesha tonite.

WTF WAS THAT???

8:33 PM: Next up is Brooke.

Idol's stylists have really stepped it up tonite. All of the women look fabulous!

Brooke will be taking on "Hero", which Mariah tells us she wrote for Gloria Estefan. Brooke is strumming a guitar while rehearsing with Mariah.

But now she's playing the piano instead?

Okay, it just hit me why Brooke is still on Idol.

Clive wants her as his Norah-killer.

That's the only explanation.

Her performance is good, but nothing spectacular.

Randy: i liked the whole singer-songwriter vibe...i was digging it until the bridge...it threw me a little bit...
[BREAKING! Brooke White talks back to an Idol judge. Brooke, some unsolicited advice -- STFU!]
Randy: at the end, i could feel you losing a little self-confidence...
Paula: every ounce of you is totally authentic to who you are...this unplugged version was a very brave thing to do...you sounded good, except for a few off notes...
Simon: i don't think you had much choice other than to do what you did...other than that, it was a bit like ordering a hamburger and only getting the bun...the vital ingredient -- the bit in the middle -- was missing, the important part, because i don't think your voice is strong enough to carry that song...
[thus proceeds an argument among the judges and Ryan along the lines of "Where's The Beef?"]

8:39 PM: Next up is Kristy Lee. Kristy Lee is taking on "Forever".

That was not bad at all. Kristy Lee has brought it 2 weeks in a row.

Who woulda thunk it a month ago???

Randy: i didn't think that was amazing -- there were a coupla pitchy notes in the first part...but you definitely started stepping up towards the end...
Paula: it wasn't just the end...i think you're a very smart girl because you have this all worked out in your plans...Kristy Lee Cook, i'm like "ohmigod!" i was blown away...you could have a hit with that in country...
Simon: you didn't give me chills...i think you managed with what you could...a little bit whiney at times...but it wasn't ever going to be an advantage at times...i think you were quite smart...it just wasn't great...
Paula: ALL THE GIRLS LOOK BEAUTIFUL TONITE!

8:48 PM: Next up is David C. David is taking on "Always Be My Baby". Mariah is surprised, because she's never envisioned Chris Daughtry singing one of her songs.

Oh, quel suprise. David gives the song the full-on Daughtry-Stapp treatment. Throw in a little...Cornell...for good measure.

Hey, it was great in that Daughtry way. David knows who he is.

Randy: more than almost anyone on this show right now, you're ready to make an album...you're a hot recording artist...that was the most brilliant performance yet this season...
[Randy gives David a Standing O!]
Paula: that song could be on a movie soundtrack right now...and who knows -- maybe it just will...you're it!
Randy: it was like coming out of karaoke hell into a breath of fresh air...it was original, it was daring, it stood out by a mile, and this is the sign of a great potential artist -- someone who takes risks...

8:57 PM: Looks like someone is going to miss the upcut! And I hope my TiVo holds out this week!

Last up tonite is Jason. Jason is taking on "I Don't Wanna Cry", which is only the second-best track on Mariah's debut album.

Jason has set a high bar for himself.

Jason is performing with a bandette of 2 acoustic guitarists and a bongo-er.

That was a nice performance, but I think David C. took him on "making it your own"

Randy: i didn't really love that...i felt like i was at a weird beach luau and somebody was playing some music in the distance...i didn't really get it...
[Simon doesn't know what a "luau" is]
Paula: i'd love to be at that luau, listening all nite long...you're getting so confident and so in that zone...
Simon: i'm going to have to agree with Paula...it wasn't the best vocal, but it was identifiably you...it was a cool version...the guys completely won the nite...

INSTA-REACTION coming in a few minutes...

* * * * *

WaPo teevee columnist Lisa de Moraes also watches and blogs about Idol for washingtonpost.com -- she "watches American Idol so you don't have to". de Moraes believes that Simon is the only judge worth listening to.

Well, tonite, Simon got it right -- the men completely dominated the women. They didn't just dominate -- I think, tonite, every one of the men was better than every one of the women.

Here is my INSTA-RANK:

1) David C.
2) David A.
3) Jason
4) Carly
5) Kristy Lee
6) Brooke
7) Syesha

It's hard for me to write that, for multiple reasons. It's hard for me to rank David A. so high, because he annoys me on so, so many levels. It's hard for me to rank Jason so high, because he's a YouTube sensation, and nothing more. It's hard for me to rank Carly so low, because she can actually sing -- this is a "singing competiton", right Simon??? And it's hard for me to rank Syesha at the bottom, because I like her.

But this is how I feel about tonite's performances.

Which is not how I feel the results are going to go.

Three points to take away:

1) David C. is still the front-runner. Even though I believe David A. has a "bigger fanbase" than David C., David C. is probably most helped by the elimination of Michael. Plus, David C. is still "bringing it", and his take on "Always Be My Baby", though Daughtry-esque, was still unique and my favorite of the nite. We'll see how this plays out, as the "weaker" contestants are eliminated, and their fanbases shift loyalties.

2) Brooke, Kristy Lee, and Syesha are still surviving by exceeding low expectations. By all rights, the Idol "Final Four" should have been a "struggle to the death" between (in NO particular order) Carly, David A., David C., and Michael. Michael's elimination last week obviously scuttled that possibility, but, SERIOUSLY, is there anyone who can explain why Kristy Lee is STILL in this competition???

3) Carly is in REAL trouble tonite. I thought Carly actually gave the BEST performance among the women tonite, but the bar is very high for her. Did the judges help or hurt her when they repeatedly stressed -- the truth -- that she needs to have more confidence in herself and her performance? Carly has one of the "weaknesses" that plagued Katharine McPhee 2 years ago -- she looks uncomfortable on the stage, not knowing where -- or how -- to stand, or how to engage the audience. Recall that Kat outlasted Chris Daughtry, so things could still work in her favor, but it would help if she "opened up" a bit more. She still looks like she's performing on an 8'x10' stage in the back of the bar.

* * * * *

PREDICTED BOTTOM THREE:

Carly, Kristy Lee, Syesha

* * * * *

WHO'S GOING HOME?:

Carly...sadly...

* * * * *

PAULA ABDUL OUT-OF-IT SCALE:

It was going to be only about 7/10, until that whole "where's the beef?" thing started. Maybe more like 8/10.

* * * * *

SUGGESTED POSSIBLE BLOG-POST TITLES FOR BLOGGERS WHO WILL RECAP TONIGHT'S SHOW TOMORROW:

UPDATED!!! (sorry, long day):

Yeah, those headlines below would obviously be more appropriate for THURSDAY's write-up of WEDNESDAY's elimination show. Some better headlines for WEDNESDAY's write-up of TUESDAY's performance might be:

* "American Idol Wants To Know: Who Will Still Be There Next Week?"
* "American Idol Wants To Know: Whose 'Fantasy' Will End This Week?"
* Our American Idols Gave It Their All This Week, But Who Will Survive?"
* Our American Idols Say To The Voting Public: 'Don't Forget About Us'"

* * * * *

POSSIBLE RESULTS-SHOW THURSDAY HEADLINES:

* "American Idol Toys With [eliminated Idol]'s 'Emotions', Destroys [his/her] Dreams Anyway"
* "American Idol Destroys [eliminated Idol]'s 'Fantasy' Of Being Your Next American Idol"
* [elimnated Idol] Gave It [his/her] All, But That Was Not Enough To Avoid Elimination from American Idol"
* "American Idol Viewers Turn Out To Be A 'Heartbreaker' For [elimiated Idol]'s Dreams"
* "American Idol Viewers To [elimnated Idol]: 'We DON'T Belong Together'"

* * * * *

UPDATED, AFTER "THE POLLS" HAVE CLOSED:

DialIdol has some interesting numbers for us this morning...

1) David C.
2) David A.
3) Jason
4) Kristy Lee
(above all "safe"; below all "not safe")
5) Carly
6) Brooke
7) Syesha

Hmmm, looks an awful lot like my list, with only Carly and Kristy Lee flipped at 4-5 -- and with the caveat that Kristy Lee is safe at #4. Also, DialIdol has Brooke and Syesha with almost exactly the same vote, while Carly has an approximate 20% lead on both. That gives me hope that Carly may survive one more week, and perhaps start listening to the people who are trying to help her.

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This Week In Tonight In American Idol [8 April 2008]

8:00 PM: A quick reminder -- this is Idol Gives Back week. The telethon returns tomorrow, airing from 7:30-10:00 PM EST. No "Psych! We're not eliminating anyone this week!" shenanigans this year -- we'll have a proper results show on Thursday.

Tonite's "Top 8 Nite" theme is "Inspirational Songs".

And I'm already dreading this.

8:03 PM: First up is Michael Johns, and his inspirational song of choice is..."Dream On", by Aerosmith?

Srsly???

This is very "karaoke" to me, honestly.

Altho Michael does nail the Steve Tyler "falsetto" parts.

Randy: important week, we find out who you are...pretty good song choice for you, but some pitch problems...I still don't believe that's who you are...I don't buy that you're an Aerosmith-type singer...it was just a'ight for me...

[the audience disagrees...Michael talks back -- why are the Idols doing that this season???]

Randy [channeling his inner-Simon (eww -- Ed.)]: this is a singing competition...it's not about dreams, it's about singing...
Paula: I couldn't disagree more...perfect song for you...you sound as good as you look...I thought my chihuahuas were going to join you onstage...
Simon: very good performance...but I don't like when you do an impersonation of a rockstar...I prefer it with the blues R&B thing in your voice...a little bit "wanna-be"-ish...

Randy and Simon are largely in agreement against Paula, which almost never happens...which means Michael is already vulnerable...

Ryan makes a gay joke about Paula's "chihuahuas"...ha ha...

8:12 PM: Up next is Syesha Mercado. Syesha is taking on "I Believe" by Fantasia.

I've been on the Syesha bandwagon for a while, and I think this is fantastic.

I think the backing singers are overwhelming her a bit, but WOW does Syesha have a powerful voice...

Randy: took on another tiger this week...Fantasia has that special connection with her songs that you were lacking...it was just okay for me...

And Syesha is also talking back...WOW, Randy is on fire this week...

Paula: not many people can take on Fantasia and her songs...I think you flipped it and made it your own...hands down, one of your strongest nites...
Simon: technically, you sang it very well...what it lacked for me was that big wave of emotion...last week you did Whitney, this week Fantasia -- I want to find out who you are...

8:18 PM: Next up is Jason Castro. Jason is taking on "Somewhere Over The Rainbow". But he's taking on the ukelele-dominated arrangement of Hawaiian Bruddah Iz.

Prediction: "Bruddah Iz ukelele" -- or some variation thereof -- will top tomorrow's "Google Trends" charts.

This is passable and interesting but mostly "forgettable" for me, to use Idol's terms.

Randy: Jason Castro is back in the hunt! That was the hottest of the nite right there! That was blazing, molten hot!

Dude, what were you listening to???

Paula: You have the most definitive sound...perfect song...I love that version...you did a great job...

Paula Abdul Out-Of-It Scale: 8/10. At least!

Simon: first time I heard that version, I wasn't sure...second time, loved it...third time [motions to Jason], loved it!

Okay, the judges are in the tank for Jason tonite...Trying to slow the momentum of David Cook???

That was a fucking YouTube video. It was not American idol. And it will be no more than potentially Jason's "biggest hit".

Write it down.

8:26 PM: Next up is Kristy Lee Cook. Kristy makes the shocking(!) decision to perform a...wait for it!...COUNTRY SONG! "Anyway", by Martina McBride.

The underwhelm continues, as Kristy has trouble finding the pitch.

At least the audience loved that big note.

Randy: pitchy, but I loved that for you...
Paula: you outdid yourself...your best so far...
Simon: I thought you were very good indeed...tonite, you looked like a star...

Okay, I've obviously slipped down the rabbit hole...are the judges deliberately trying to shake up the competition this week???

8:35 PM: Next up is David Cook. David is taking on "Innocent", by Our Lady Peace.

I like David, but he's all over the place here. He can't seem to decide if tonite he's channeling Live, Dave Matthews, or Puddle of Mudd.

Uh, yeah.

Randy: I'm not sure this was one of your strongest weeks...I didn't quite get it...
Paula: ...and tonite was no exception of you being so good...

Simon cuts off Paula and her medically-induced rambling non-sequitur...

Simon: I didn't like this performance very much at all...teense weensy bit pompous...weakest performance -- not anywhere near as good as the last two weeks...

8:39 PM: Next up is Carly Smithson. Carly is taking on "The Show Must Go On" by Queen.

Carly has changed up her sartorial style a bit this week, in response to Simon's criticisms last week.

As always, Carly gives us the best "rockstar" performance of the nite.

Randy: started out good...pitchy in the middle...ended up okay...it was just okay for me...didn't quite hit the mark...
Paula: that's something I'm actually going to agree with a little bit...as always, your voice was perfect...I didn't feel the connection -- didn't feel engaged with you...
Simon: you look good...unusual choice of song...oversang it, to the point where you lost control of it towards the end...came over as an angry performance, which felt out-of-kilter with the evening...you chose the wrong song, and you might be in a bit of trouble this week...

8:48 PM: Next up is David Archuleta. David is concerned that he might have "awakened the neighbors" with his "loud" "practicing" this week.

Eww.

David is taking on "Angels", originally by Robbie Williams and covered recently by Jessica Simpson.

A Jessica Simpson song makes it to American Idol. Maybe we really are in the End Times???

David is playing the piano, and I don't mean "playing the piano", but playing the piano.

Randy: I loved the runs at the end [eww -- Ed.]...that was your hottest moment of the whole season...LOVED IT!!!
Paula: that sums it up for me...fantastic!...
Simon: best song choice of the nite...one of the best pop songs written...not your best vocal, tho...a bit nasally...I'm nit-picking, because you are going to SAIL THROUGH...

8:57 PM: Yep, we're gonna run late again tonite.

Last up tonite is Brooke White. Brooke is taking on "You've Got A Friend", written by Carole King and also famously performed by James Taylor.

Surprisingly, because it was just onstage, Brooke is NOT "playing the piano".

Oh wait -- the piano is still onstage, but someone else is playing, while Brooke is singing.

Okay, this is actually a very nice performance.

Randy: I liked that...wasn't your best performance...it was okay, a'ight...
Paula: one of my favorite songs growing up...a perfect way to close the evening...you're definitive...
Simon: it was like a pleasant walk in the park...it was nice...was it original? no was it pleasant? yes...

And...we're 5 minutes late on the upcut...the better to screw over Dancing With The Stars...

Back in a bit with an Insta-Reaction...

* * * * *

INSTA-REACTION: Tonite felt really "upside-down" for me. Some of the "better performances" -- and the "better judges' comments" -- came from some Idols who I've thought are at the bottom of the competition. And some of my "favorites" came up short tonite.

Here is my RANKING for tonite, which is not the same as my PREDICTION about who's in trouble:

1) Brooke
2) Syesha
3) Kristy Lee
{gap}
4) David A.
5) Carly
6) Jason
{gap}
7) David C.
8) Michael

I think there were lots of poor song choices tonite. Cook, Smithson & Johns, especially, I'm looking at YOU. And I think some of the weaker contestants helped themselves by choosing songs especially suited to their styles. The judges were lukewarm on Brooke's rendition of "You've Got A Friend", but I think it was probably the best performance on a mediocre nite -- and I suspect the producers agree with me, because she got the final spot. Also, kudos to Kristy Lee for continuing to embrace her inner Kellie Pickler. It paid off for the second week in a row. Finally, Syesha. I've been on her bandwagon for a while, and I think -- in spite of the judges comments -- that she acquitted herself well this week, even though she had the bad luck of going first.

Don't talk to me about Jason "I'm YouTube-ular!!!" Castro. Sorry, Dawg, but I wasn't feelin' that. It wasn't even "just a'ight" for me.

* * * * *

Okay, so I called the performances, but I haven't predicted the Bottom 3.

I think there's a better than 50-50 chance the Bottom 3 this week will be (in no particular order): Carly, David C., Michael. All had an "off" week this week, and each was particularly panned by one-or-more of the judges. As I think these three are really Top 5 material, I'm afraid this week will produce the first truly "shocking elimination" of the season. Of the three, I'd say Michael is in the most trouble.

Check in later to see whether I'm (I hope not!) right.

-- DHMBIB

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