UPDATED
Hi, kids! Did you know that "record companies", to promote awareness and sales of their "records", used to pay tens of thousands of dollars -- and in some cases, even more than a million dollars -- to make mini-movies showing their "recording artists" lip-synching their "songs" while water-skiing or being trapped in the closet and miscellaneous whatnot, which mini-movies were for some strange reason referred to as "music videos"?
Isn't that just crazy???
I know, right???
Well, even though there are precious few outlets outside of YouTube for playing music videos these days, a few of them are still being made. Below are DHMBIB's favorite videos of 2007.
[Disclaimer: DHMBIB does not spend all our time watching YouTube. Accordingly, we did not see every video in 2007. So please don't write in complaining that we didn't recognize your favorite "Lil Wayne feat. T-Pain & Akon" video. kthxbai -- Ed.]
It's impossible to rank these in any meaningful way. So I'll simply present them in alphabetical order by artist, along with some thoughts about why I loved them so much.
[N.B. Some of the aforementioned "record companies" -- especially labels that are part of Universal Music Group (UMG) -- don't want their videos to be "freely available" on YouTube and other such sites, and they're pretty aggressive with takedown notices. They want to share in ad revenue, so they make the video non-embeddable from YouTube, or they require some sort of pre-roll ad on the video. We have tried to find "free" versions of the videos below, but in some cases we could not. We'll alert you where you face a required "look at this ad!", in case that sort of thing offends you. -- Ed.]
Alanis Morissette, "My Humps"
Back in April, if you asked a friend, "Have you seen the video of Alanis Morissette covering the Black Eyed Peas' 'My Humps'?", the response probably would've been a puzzled "Whaaa???" if your friend wasn't plugged in to the music and celebrity bloggosphere. But indeed, Alanis did record "My Humps", apparently completely on a lark and completely to mock this ridiculous paean to "lady lumps" [is it appropriate to say Alanis was being "ironic" here??? -- Ed.]. She also filmed a video and somewhat quietly loosed it on the world, and the meme exploded in the bloggosphere for a few brief moments in April.
Alanis' "My Humps" was certainly the funniest video I saw all year.
Amy Winehouse, "Back To Black"
The first time I heard this track from Amy's superb album of the same name [Back To Black] -- the first time I really heard it -- I literally stopped dead in my tracks. For me, this song is the centerpiece of the record, and the video does the track complete justice. Cinema verite -- check! Amy metaphorically burying her broken heart -- check!
A few other tracks from Back To Black gained wider public exposure in 2007, but none had a better video than "Back To Black".
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the best video from the best album of the year.
Cold War Kids, "Hang Me Up To Dry":
This is also one of my favorite songs of 2007. I absolutely love the movie-trailer concept and the black-and-white photography. Cinema verite is almost always a good choice.
Fall Out Boy, "I'm Like A Lawyer (Me & You)":
[if the video doesn't appear above, go here]
Even in an era of ladybag-flashing celebutards who are paid by papparazi to tip them off on the next time they'll be heading out to Starbucks or the next time they'll be passing out in the gutter outside that hot new night club, some celebrities insist on occasionally doing The Right Thing and employing their celebrity in support of a good cause. In 2007 emo-scene poster-boy band Fall Out Boy teamed up with the non-profit organization Invisible Children to raise awareness of civil war and forced child soldiering in Uganda. For their part, FOB went to Uganda to film a video for their song, "I'm Like A Lawyer With The Way I'm Always Trying To Get You Off (Me & You)", a gorgeous Babyface-produced tune about love and heartbreak. But they turned the song's protagonist into a Ugandan boy trying to avoid conscription and certain death, just to be with his girlfriend. FOB mostly stay in the background and they thankfully dropped, well, some of the frivolous FOB-ness of the song's title. Throw in some outstanding direction and lush landscapes, and the video is one of the year's best.
Feist, "1234":
This Grammy-nominated video was reportedly shot in one complete take, which, if true, is both impressive and awesome. It is also notable for being the source of about a gajillion "is this a video or is it a commercial for The Gap?" jokes.
"1234" [or however it should be written -- Ed.] may be the most "entertaining" video of the year.
Justice, "D.A.N.C.E.":
I got nothing particularly profound to say about this video, the second on this list to be nominated for a Grammy. I just like it.
"Marshall Eriksen" [Jason Segel], "You Just Got Slapped":
If you don't already know what this is, I probably won't be able to explain it to you. Try going here or here.
My Chemical Romance, "Teenagers":
Hmmm...smells like homage.
Rihanna (feat. Jay-Z), "Umbrella":
[caution: kinda sorta possibly NSFW due to mild artistic sensuality and implied nudity]
["ad-free" unofficial version which may already be gone]
[30-second pre-roll ad-viewing required]
[Click here for non-embeddable official version with 30-second overlay ad]
Really, any of Rihanna's videos from her outsanding 2007 record Good Girl Gone Bad could've ended up on this list. I went with "Umbrella" because its combination of outstanding direction [you almolst can't tell she's not really toe-dancing!], artsy sensuality [19-year-old Rihanna nude! covered only in silver body paint! and wait, is that side-boob at the end???] and Rihanna martial-arting away the CGI'd water to keep us all safe and dry combine to make it leap off the screen and instantly memorable. Plus, "Umbrella" is the song of the year, and this is its video.
Also, by choosing "Umbrella", I get to post this bonus video -- a hilarious cover of "Umbrella" by Italian emo-punks Vanilla Sky:
Snoop Dogg, "Sensual Seduction":
If you have just watched this video, you certainly don't need me to tell you why it's on this list. If you have not just watched this video, stop reading, watch the video, and come back. We'll wait.
Huzzah, sir Snoop!
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
The Year In Music, 2007: The Best Music Videos Of The Year
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Video Of The Day: "IDK, my BFF Rose"
I'm normally not the kind of blogtard who would allow my blog to be used to shill for a commercial product, and that's not what this post is about.
But stick with me on this one. I do have some meta stuff I want to talk about.
Earlier this year, after completing their merger with Cingular Wireless, AT&T Wireless unveiled a series of commercials touting their wireless plans. One commercial [not included here] showed a "mother" chastising her "family" for "throwing away" their rollover minutes, represented in the ad by tiny analog clocks. A follow-up commercial showed a different "mother" chastising her "daughter" for running up the family's wireless bill through excessive text messaging:
This commercial, which has come to be known as "IDK, my BFF Jill", is probably the most polarizing commercial of the year. Everyone I know hates this commercial. Except for me. I love it.
Why? I use this kind of SMS shorthand all the time myself. Not usually in speech, sure, but that's the joke that makes this ad. No one "talks" like this. Now. But soon, we will.
In fact, it's already happening. Educators have already begun the teeth-gnashing and the hair-pulling and the whatnot over students who use SMS shorthand in essays. Some educators are even debating whether they should "teach" SMS shorthand as a way to control the monster that has already been unleashed. I'm not sure what they would "teach" exactly -- is it socially improper for youngsters to write, or say, "WTF" when communicating with their elders? -- but I'm sure we'll work it out. Whatevs.
It's okay, people. Calm down. Breathe. We'll survive this. INBD.
Anyway, most people hoped that "Mom" and "Beth Ann" had completed their nails-on-the-chalkboard reign over our airtime. But recently, AT&T Wireless unveiled a new add, "IDK, my BFF Rose". And, of course, it's my "Video Of The Day". NJOY:
* * * * *
Random thoughts about the above:
* The new [second] clip above was posted to YouTube by user "attmobility". So, AT&T Wireless. How do we feel about advertisers gettin' all up in OurSpace?
* The older [first] clip above was posted to YouTube by [presumably] a regular user. It and other clips of the same ad have already been viewed over 1 million times. Does that make my first question moot?
* The first clip is a rip from the teevee. The second clip comes straight from AT&T. The first clip comes with the Oasis sample still audible at the end. The second clip has the music excised. How do the Gallagher brothers and their record label feel about all of this?
* The actress who plays the "Mom" in these two adds is Orlagh Cassidy, who plays the character "Doris Wolfe" on the CBS soaper Guiding Light. [Don't ask me how I know that. Just know that whenever I see her on the show, I mumble under my breath, "Me paying this bill, that's what's S...NF".] Anyways, I've always been curious how much soap work pays. And how much commercial work pays. And now, how much AT&T Wireless had to pay to get her to come back for another go-round?
* * * * *
Bonus Fall Out Boy video, "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs":
[Note that the video is sponsored by Tag Body Spray. Sigh...]
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Video[s] Of The Day: "Umbrella"
Hey, anyone remember Mandy Moore?
Well, Mandy is recording again, and she has reinvented herself as something like Paula Cole's or late-career Alanis Morissette's younger sister. Mandy's new record, Wild Hope, is pretty good if you're into that kind of emo-chick pop.
Anyway, Mandy recently covered Rihanna's smash "Umbrella" [not on her new record, unfortunately] for Yahoo! Music's "Cover Art" section [cover songs -- get it?]. Mandy gave it the Wild Hope treatment, and the results are certainly interesting:
[Nice touch performing in front of the monitors showing the original outstanding video for the track.
Maybe soon -- maybe -- I'll have to unpack all that nonsense at the beginning of the clip. Mandy, why are you throwing your early career under the bus like that???]
Okay, that may not be everyone's thing, and I'm a little conflicted about it myself. But the real gem in this episode is that on the Mandy page is a link to "the original" -- which is not, in fact, Rihanna's original video, but is actually RIHANNA HERSELF performing the song live for Yahoo! Music.
I've never seen Rihanna perform live, and I didn't know she had a real "band". Quite rightly, directors keep the band out of sight, because, let's face it, if you've got someone as breathtakingly beautiful as Rihanna on stage, you want to show Rihanna. But this band is terrific, and they really funked and rocked the shit out of that song. The result is an obvious choice for Video Of The Day:
[Okay, we coulda done without the umbrella dancers, and MORE RIHANNA, but still, well done!]
* * * * *
For reference, and also just because, here is the original video for "Umbrella", which is undeniably the most artistically sexy video I've seen in at least 5 years:
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
BREAKING: Area Blogger Makes Painfully Obvious Lindsay Lohan / Amy Winehouse "Rehab" Joke
Well, that didn't take long, now did it?
Less than 12 hours after Lindsay Lohan melted down again, was arrested for DUI, and was shipped off to rehab, some webtard had the genius idea of mashing up clips of our dear LiLo with Amy Winehouse's song "Rehab".
Actually, it's pretty clever -- and it's my "Video Of The Day".
Enjoy:
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
You Maybe Should Or Should Not Hate Pete Wentz, Depending On Whether He's Your Best Friend Or Your Romantic Rival
[image courtesy stereogum]Alternate post title: "This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race". Second alternate post title: "Sugar, We're Goin Down".
[Actually, the real title of this post would make a great Fall Out Boy song title...Pete -- call us!!! -- Ed.]
So, didya happen to catch Fall Out Boy's performance at Chicago's Schubas Theatre the other night???
Initial reports after the show were that FOB bassist-and-lyricist-and-Ashlee-Simpson-uhhhhhh-"dater" Pete Wentz went all medieval-and-shit on a "fan" who heckled Pete about Ashlee Simpson or his guyliner or his punny songtitles or something. The above is supposedly a picture of the aftermath of Pete attacking said heckler with a beer bottle.
The scene -- sadly, not Pete's first concert-inflicting beatdown -- is quite adequite, doncha think???
Well, not surprisingly, Pete took to the media the next day to tell his side of the story:"The story on the Internet is absolutely false," he wrote in an e-mail. "Yes, we were playing an acoustic afterparty for Spin. It was a good time for the most part. Yes, the guy was heckling me and the band, so were other people, most in good fun. But we get heckled onstage all the time, and while I'm a jerk, I'm not the kind of person who would ever lash out at someone simply over this...
"The truth is on the way out the door I had to pass directly next to the guy and I knew it, so I kept my head down and walked out. As I did, the guy reached out and grabbed me and said something I couldn't really hear — it was a glorious use of the English language, though," he continued. "As he grabbed me, I punched him. Yell all you want at me, say whatever, but in a situation like that I will defend myself. After that, of course, it got chaotic, [but] we have several independent witnesses that gave statements saying he grabbed me first ... I am not worried over the outcome, as I was clearly in the right. Anything anyone else is saying or writing is simply not true."
Pete Wentz Offers His Side Of The Fall Out [MTV, via stereogum]
[ah, Stereogum, you guys are SO CLEVER with your post titles -- Ed.]
[i.e., "Don't You Know Who I Think I Am" -- Ed.]
Okay, so there's a he-said-he-said thing going on here. I'm sure I know whose side FOB-singer-and-trucker-hat-and-mutton-chop-model Patrick Stump is on [actually, even though Patrick can't seem to figure out why so many people seem to dislike Pete, that link points to a very interesting interview with Patrick...seriously -- Ed.].
I can't take sides here -- in fact, Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name Of This Post So We Wouldn't Get Sued. So all of this is really prelude to...
...my Video Of The Day:
[video courtesy craigshimala.com via stereogum]
[actually, we're kinda digging FOB's cover of "Beat It". Also, the video clearly shows about a half dozen other fans vid'ding the show -- where are those vids??? -- Ed.]
Supposedly, this camera-phone video was taken by the very-same beat-down victim who left his blood on the dance floor in the photo above.
So, he got film of this, but not of his own celebrity beat down??? So, what do you think -- Sophmore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year???
Leave your thoughts in the comments.
P.S. "Craig" -- Fame < Infamy.
[Ed. note: we at DHMBIB are not FOB or Pete Wentz haters. and if you don't believe us, stay tuned over the next few weeks, as we'll be writing about the best CDs of the first half of '07 [*cough*]Infinity On High[*cough*]]
Monday, May 21, 2007
This Week In Recently In Julia Allison's Life-Sized Cardboard Cut-Out [21 May 2007]
[serious "inside baseball" alert -- don't say we didn't warn you -- Ed.]
So, Julia Allison, you've had an awesome quarter [or so]...
...or, at least that cardboard cut-out of you that you trot out every so often when you're too busy to keep up with your social calendar has had an awesome quarter.
[Confused DHMBIB readers may want to take a few minutes to brush up on our dear Julia...
Back yet? Okay, let's go!!! -- Ed.]
Julia -- you the former AM New York dating columnist, current Fox News Channel Talking Head and Huffington Post Eat The Press correspondent, and brand new Time Out New York dating columnist -- not to mention Gawker's number one frenemy and the real-life inspiration for one of the most notorious campaign commercials in history -- you sure have been a busy social butterfly recently. So busy, in fact, that it appears you've had to resort to sending your cardboard-cutout "Julia" doppelganger in your place a few times.
Julia, there's no need for you to be so over-extended. Seriously, I can help!!!
Observe...
Here's your cut-out recently with Fishbowl NY Editor Dylan Stableford...
Obviously, you were also too busy to make the Radar release party, so you sent your cut-out to stand in for you with Chris Tennant...
...and Tinsley Mortimer [a/k/a "The Tinz"]...
and, finally, Defamer editor Mark Lisanti...
And oh! The White House Correspondents' Association Dinner!!! I'm guessing you knew Rich Little was going to be heinously unfunny, so you sent your cut-out in your place, where "she" was photo'd with, among others...
...your-hometown-ragsheet's [Chicago Sun-Times] EIC Michael Cooke...
...and...TONY KORNHEISER???...
...and MISS FREAKING AMERICA [yes, we edit ourselves sometimes -- Ed.] Laura Nelson...
...and tsunami-and-James-Blunt-survivor Petra Nemcova...
...and even possibly the next losing candidate for President of the United States, former Tennessee Senator Fred "I'm not 'Tommy', I'm that guy on Law & Order" Thompson...
...and...and...OMG!!! LOL MY HEADZ EXPLODING!!!
And most recently, here's your cut-out at the Time 100 party a coupla weeks' ago...
...and here again with your sometime-boss-and-all-the-time-BFF, ETP's Rachel Sklar, at the same party...
Julia, I know you were pissed off about not getting a proper invite, so you ended up asking your cut-out to crash the party for you. But I woulda been happy to crash in your place, if only so I coulda been your "stand-in" in this awesome photo of "you" and fellow non-ivitee ANA MARIE COX!!!
Now, I realize that AMC is time.com's Washington "bureau chief" [and Wonkette's founding editor and -- still -- "Wonkette Emerita"], and as such could reasonably have expected an invite to this event. But I'm her "boss" [disclosure -- Ed.], and not even I got invited. Thus, I would've been more than pleased to be her partner-in-crime and stand in for your cut-out if you were too busy to make this soiree.
[long-time readers and/or friends know that we at DHMBIB seriously <3 AMC!!! -- Ed.]
Seriously, Julia, I know you've over-booked your social calendar recently. As a fellow Hoya, I would love to help you out of these sticky situations.
[whispering]Julia! Call me![/whispering]
Friday, May 18, 2007
BREAKING: "Big-Time" Blog Posts Photo Of Two People With The Same Name, Makes Obvious And Unfunny Jokes
[image courtesy WireImage via TMZ]
So, TMZ [disclosure -- Ed.] posted this photo today, and the accompanying write-up made every obvious and unfunny joke that is already spinning through your brain, because Larry King is responsible for the post, obvs.
Disappointed at the lack of original wit at "my" company, I decided to open this photo up to a "Caption This" contest amongst my many faithful readers.
However, you cannot use any of these phrases / jokes in your efforts, because they are so obvious that even Wolf Blitzer has already thought of them:
* "glamorous"
* "The Duchess of York" / "The Dutchess of [Josh] Duhamel"
* my humps / "lovely lady lumps"
* "Fergalicious"
* "Sarah Ferguson" / "Stacy Ferguson" / "garwsh, ya mean they're both named 'Fergie'???"
* "flossy, flossy"
* "London Bridge"
Also, no tranny jokes -- Anderson Cooper already went there, too.
Now, I'm not a completely bad guy. Because I've declared so many jokes off limits, I'll give you a few more things I thought of that might help you out:
* "T-to-the-A-to-the-S-T-E-Y, girl you're TASTEY!"
* "D-to-the-E-to-the-L-I-C-I-O-U-S"
* anything having to do with Candie's; and
* anything having to do with Weight Watchers
[thank you! we'll be here all week! -- Ed.]
* * * * *
You may also get a few ideas from Fergie's [the singer -- Ed.] new video, "Big Girls Don't Cry". [or, you may just enjoy seeing Fergie in her undies. or, you may just enjoy seeing what it would look like if Fergie quit the Black Eyed Peas and joined Good Charlotte, or maybe Korn -- Ed.] Anyway, this is the song Fergie performed on American Idol on 18 April, and it's one of my favorite songs from Fergie's outstanding [no, really -- Ed.] CD, The Dutchess.
And because I haven't had one in a while, it's also my Video Of The Day.
ciaobaby
Friday, April 27, 2007
Video Of The Day: Simon Cowell Would Never Be The Next Pussycat Doll [26 April 2007]
If you tried to watch Fox's American Idol special "Idol Gives Back" episode on Wednesday nite, you could be forgiven if you fell asleep before the funniest video segment appeared around 9:30 PM [EDT].
Here's Simon Cowell auditioning for "American Idol" in Springfield, where The Simpsons are "the judges". It's DHMBIB's Video of The Day:
[note that, instead of Coca-Cola, the "judges" are drinking "Buzz Cola". Homer even has a 2-liter bottle -- Ed.]
Friday, April 6, 2007
Video Of The Day: Dick Cheney Is A "Creep"
If you caught Tuesday's Presidential press conference in the Rose Garden, you may have seen the awesome C-SPAN video that showed "Vice" President Dick Cheney lurking in the bushes to the President's right, apparently operating the remote control that makes the President say whatever Cheney wants him to say.
Some smarter-than-me watcher has mashed up this video footage with Radiohead's "Creep", and the result is so obviously the Video Of The Day that it made me pee in my diapers!!!
Enjoy:
Monday, April 2, 2007
Video Of The Day: Runners-Up [2 April 2007]
The video we posted earlier of Alanis Morissette covering "My Humps" set the bloggosphere on fire today and is obvs the Video Of The Day. And we're glad for that, because we had a few videos gathered up over the last week and couldn't decide which one to make a "Video Of The Day", and they were starting to go stale because we got busy and couldn't post for a few days. Obviously, we could just post them over the next few days [time permitting], but we've just decided to put them up for your enjoyment now.
After the jump, they follow in the chronological order in which we found them...
* 28 March: Another Fergie "cover":
Julia Allison pointed us in the direction of yet another very awesome parody of "Fergalicious". Enjoy:
* 29 March: Three words -- Jessica. Biel. Stripping.:
Egotastic and IDontLikeYouInThatWay pointed us to the trailer for an upcoming movie called "I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry". The movie stars Adam Sandler and Kevin James as NYC firefighters who pretend to be gay partners so they can collect spousal benefits should either die. Jessica Biel plays an attorney they hire to defend them in an investigation into the legitimacy of their "relationship". Predictably, Adam's character falls in love with Jessie's character.
The movie must suck, because the trailer shows a lot of Jessica Biel. Jessica Biel in a pleather catsuit. Jessica Biel stripping down to her lingerie in front of the "gay" Adam Sandler. Jessica Biel inviting the "gay" Adam Sandler to feel her breasts to prove that they are "real".
Yes, we know -- we don't know anyone who would be interested in seeing any of that. But if you might be, enjoy this:
[nice tattoo -- a dove perhaps??? -- Ed.]
* 30 March: Lily Allen rulez!!!:
Stereogum pointed us to a video of the super awesome Lily Allen covering Blondie's "Heart Of Glass" at a recent concert. Watch -- it's worth it:
ciaobaby
Video Of The Day: This Is Why We Still Love Alanis Morissette [2 April 2007]
We here at the DHMBIB bar social club were big fans of Alanis Morissette's angsty Gen-X post-feminism 10 years ago. Sadly, she lost us with her last few albums, but we still from time-to-time wade into our CD collection to give Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie another spin [that CD was awesome!!! -- Ed.].
We also loves us some Fergie. Shut up. [pun completely intended -- Ed.]
So, it's not surprising that our hearts and ears and eyes were warmed today when we came across this video of Alanis channeling Tori Amos in a cover of the Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps".
Seriously. We could not possibly make this up...
[Alanis: "Hey, Fergie! Tori! Go down on THIS in a theater!!!"]
Now, we're sure you're asking yourself, "How did DHMBIB possibly discover this gem???"
We were first tipped off to this by the fine folks over at Idolator. After watching it, we searched some of our other favorite music blogs to see if they had it too. Both Stereogum and Pitchfork have it as well.
Time stamps on blogs are notoriously unreliable as indicators of when a post was "posted", because some blogging software programs allow the blogger to "set" a time, and some blogs use the time of the host server, which may be in a different time zone from the blogger. So, determining who had this first is difficult to ascertain. Stereogum credits Pitchfork's "Forkcast" as their source. Pitchfork credits "[a tip] in our mailbox" as their source. Idolator credits "YouTube" as their source.
We're not sure which is funnier -- this video, or the idea that the Idolators -- and perhaps the Pitchforks and Stereogums -- possibly spend their day searching for the following tags on YouTube: " 'Alanis' 'Morissette' 'My' 'Humps' 'Black' 'Eyed' 'Peas' 'Fergie' "
YMMV
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Odds & Sods [27 March 2007 Edition]
[image courtesy Alaina Alexander Music on MySpace]
* Actual "professional singer" Alaina Alexander -- remember her??? -- realizes 4 weeks too late that Katharine McPhee, Antonella Barba, and Haley Scarnato may be on to something with this whole "rock your body, distract from your vocals" thing. [TMZ]
* American Idol rethinks that whole "songs of the 90's" theme, takes my sister's advice on "sing whatever the hell you want" theme; Gwen Stefani scared shit-is-bananas-less that Sanjaya will sing "Just A Girl". [Defamer, Idolator]
* At the YouTube Video Awards -- and I am not making that up -- OK Go's "Here It Goes Again" wins the award for "Most Creative". Sadly, it did not win the award for "they so totes ripped off that 'treadmill' thing from that Jamiroquai video from like ten years ago". [MollyGood]
* New Fall Out Boy video for "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs" sets record for combined number of product placements and monkeys. [Stereogum]
[anyone recognize the "love interest"? it sorta looks like Kim Kardashian -- Ed.]
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Video Of The Day: Gerard Way Could Totes Pin Hogan...BROOKE Hogan, That Is [13 March 2007 Edition]
I can't do any better than Bob Castrone over at BestWeekEver:
" Yeah, so I got chills watching this mash-up of Hulk Hogan moments and My Chemical Romance’s “The Black Parade”.
" Like, more than once.
" Shut up. "
[video courtesy bestweekever.tv and multiple other sources]
Okay, I guess I can note that the song is actually called "Welcome To The Black Parade" [the album is called simply The Black Parade]. And I guess I can also say that this video is waaay better than any of Brooke Hogan's videos.
[The actual MCR video for "Welcome To The Black Parade" is actually pretty awesome, in a Queen-tastic way. Check it out before the C&D meanies disable this embed...]
Saturday, March 3, 2007
This Week In Kellie Pickler's New "Shoes" -- Update [3 March 2007 Edition]
I decided to write this up as a new post instead of merely "updating" my previous post on this topic.
Finally, Kellie Pickler's appearance on Thursday's American Idol has made it to YouTube. The video below includes not only Kellie's performance of her new song "I Wonder" but also the pre-song chat with Ryan in which he once again shows America just how stupid she is.
Since Thursday, the consensus on the internets is clearly in favor of "yeah, she got some new girls". Washington Post teevee columnist Lisa de Moraes wrote:
" Maybe the surprise was Kellie Pickler. Pickler, last season's goofy blonde from Albemarle, NC, has made a return visit to "American Idol" to sing a song, promote her new album, and show off the girls, which she cutely calls "shoes" when show host Ryan Seacrest asks what she's bought with the money from her record contract.
" "Just shoes?" Ryan asks, while the cameraman, who's apparently the only one noticing Pickler's new double-D's, points the camera at her silver pumps and hangs on for dear life. "
"Feelin' Good" -- Bad Idea [washingtonpost.com]
Idolator Maura Johnston's [I presume] wrapup [which included probably the cutest picture you will ever see of now-departed contestant Alaina Alexander, BTW] of Thursday's show had this to say:
" THE DOWNSIDE OF LOSING: Kellie Pickler stopped by served as a sort of cautionary tale to future Idol also-rans, with her bad peroxide-job hairdo, out-of-control eye shadow, absolutely atrocious dress (who knew that turquoise could be headache-inducing?), and seemingly inflatable chest. (Kellie claimed she spent her Idol money on "shoes," but we're pretty sure those don't come in size 36DD.) "
Idolator's American Idolatry: Tears, Self-Doubt, And Shaken Faith [idolator.com]
But I'm willing to throw just one more little doubt into this whole matter. When I was live-blogging this on Thursday, I wrote: "She looks to have gained a few pounds. And a set of twins. If you catch my drift." After reviewing the video again, I'm wondering if it's just possible that Kellie has gained some weight [okay, we'll stop being coy -- she has OBVS gained some weight in the last year -- compare her face and her hips [ignoring the twin 800-pound gorillas for a moment] to those same features in the videos from last season or in any of the multitude of photos on the internets --Ed.] -- and that some of that weight has made its way upstairs, to a part of the female body that is notoriously "fatty".
In the end, I guess it doesn't really matter whether she's had the work done or not. But if you'd like to keep debating -- or if you just really love watching Kellie Pickler nearly explode out of her dress -- here's the video of Kellie's appearance:
[BTW, wouldn't you just love to have been a drunken fly in Paula Abdul's "Coca-Cola" and overheard the conversations between Simon and Paula captured twice by the director? Don't you just know the director was thinking that Simon and Paula were discussing what Ryan was joking about? Because, why else cut away to them whispering to each other -- TWICE???]
Friday, March 2, 2007
This Week In Yesterday In Beyonce [2 March 2007 Edition]
I'm a day behind on this due to time constraints.
On Thursday, the music/entertainment bloggosphere was rocked by the appearance of NOT ONE, BUT TWO new videos from Beyonce.
"Upgrade U" is the next single from Beyonce's album B'Day. Shockingly, both the single and the video feature a cameo from Jay-Z.
The song has Beyonce noting that the object of her affections has the bling, the fancy cars, the clothes, etc., but she wants to "Upgrade U" by adding...her. The video follows a well-worn path for both artists, with Beyonce frolicking in gold coins and the back of a Rolls and dancing around Jay while he raps. Nothing special -- for me, the video's highlight is when Beyonce dresses "in drag" and lip-synchs part of Jay's rap -- but it's sure to be a big hit...
More interesting than "Upgrade U" is "Beautiful Liar", a collaboration with Shakira. I love this video. Both the song and the video incorporate elements of both of their styles -- it feels like a true collaboration -- and the choreography is so great, it's difficult at any given time to determine whose non-lying hips you're seeing...
"Beautiful Liar" first appeared in conjunction with a behind-the-scenes video for Beyonce's cover shoot for the SI Swimsuit Issue. It will be among three new tracks on a reissued "Deluxe Edition" of B'Day scheduled for release in April [I looked for a more specific date but couldn't find one]. Right now, the track is not available at the iTMS, which I fear means it will have an "Album Only" designation after the re-release of B'Day, which would totally piss me off.
This Week In Charlotte Church [2 March 2007 Edition]
On Wednesday, I posted a video of Charlotte Church and Alesha performing The Killers' "Somebody Told Me" from The Charlotte Church Show.
On Thursday, Charlotte Church announced via her website that she is pregnant:
" A message from Charlotte’s management:
" Charlotte has asked us to bring you the news exclusively today via CharlotteChurch.com that she is pregnant. For reasons of privacy, Charlotte has chosen not to comment on this matter, other than to confirm that she and her boyfriend, Gavin Henson, are delighted. In an ideal world, we would not have made this announcement so early in the pregnancy. However, due to recent speculation and persistent questions from the media about this most private of matters, Charlotte felt she had no choice other than to go public and she was keen to ensure that her fans had the opportunity to read the truth here first. "
[charlottechurch.com]
[coincidence??? hmmm....Ed.]
What's that about "recent speculation and persistent questions from the media"? The AP report sheds a little light on the matter:
" Speculation began about Church's pregnancy when she was seen avoiding alcohol at her 21st-birthday party. "
Charlotte Church Announces Pregnancy [AP, via washingtonpost.com]
So, why would the media be speculating about Charlotte's "pro-active" decision to "avoid" alcohol at her birthday party? I mean, it's not like EVERYBODY wants to get drunk at their 21st birthday party, right?
Well, if you've had a life over the last few years, you probably haven't had enough time to occasionally check in on the life of Charlotte as she grew from the sweet angelic teenager you may remember to the 21-year-old teevee star she is today. You see, Charlotte for a few years was roughly the Welsh equivalent of, oh, perhaps, Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears. Wikipedia can help catch us all up:
" Church's personal life has often been portrayed in the sensationalist tabloid newspapers in the UK, rather more frequently than her career (inspiring the song "Let's Be Alone" on her album Tissues And Issues).
" Revisited with particular frequency is her love life. In 2002, aged 16, she moved out of the family home to live with her boyfriend, Steven Johnson (inspiring the song "Casualty of Love", also from Tissues And Issues); the couple later split at the end of 2003. The tabloid press documented her subsequent relationship with Kyle Johnson (no relation), which ended in February 2005. The couple stated at the time that they remained friends, though shortly afterwards Johnson revealed graphic details about the couple's sex life to the press, leading to a public punch from Church, which she later admitted. The press has recently devoted much attention to Church's relationship with current boyfriend Gavin Henson, a Welsh International Rugby player: at the end of 2005, they purchased a property in her native Llandaff, Cardiff for a reported £500,000; both celebrities have since mentioned the possibility of marriage on talk shows and in the press. They are expecting their first child in 2007.
" Other aspects of her personal life have been criticised in the press. In 2002, she was photographed smoking, and it gradually emerged that she had developed a smoking habit [mon dieu! -- Ed.] (another fact alluded to on her album Tissues And Issues, in the song "Confessional Song"). She has also been criticised for what the press have seen as excessive partying, with plenty of photos of the singer drunk or misbehaving adorning tabloid newspapers, including one in which she gave the photographer the finger. In more recent interviews, Church has stated that she has now stopped smoking and that her behaviour is now much more low-key.
...
" Liam Gallagher of the rock group Oasis is a big fan of Charlotte's, complimenting both her voice and hellraising activities. [Well, if LIAM GALLAGHER says she's cool...Ed.] "
[This is from Wikipedia, so you KNOW it must be true. YMMV -- Ed.]
There were also a bunch of topless photos -- including one found on an old boyfriend's phone -- and otherwise-racy photos that the British tabloids picked up, but you already figured that out, right? [If you care to find them, google is your friend -- Ed.]
But our prodigal daughter Charlotte has largely managed to repair her public image and is now a popular teevee star in the UK.
Congratulations and good luck, Charlotte! DHMBIB will keep watching -- at least until the Beeb C&D's YouTube.
*****
BONUS CHARLOTTE CHURCH VIDEO OF THE DAY
On Wednesday, I posted a video of Charlotte and Alesha. On Charlotte's show the following week [13 October 2006], Charlotte and guest Amy Winehouse performed Michael Jackson's "Beat It". This should have been a grand slam, as Amy is a scary-talented British new-soul singer [think Joss Stone with a hella-sharper edge]. But, alas, the famously-addicted Amy was clearly very "tired" -- in the Lindsay-Lohan-tired kind-of-way -- during the performance. The resulting performance is still "entertaining" -- and Charlotte FUCKING ROCKS!!! -- but not necessarily "entertaining" in the way that was intended. Enjoy!
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Video Of The Day: Charlotte Church [28 February 2007 Edition]
Some readers may recall Charlotte Church as the teenage Welsh ingenue with the big voice who achieved worldwide acclaim for her unique renditions of classical arias. Well, our little girl is all grow'd up now.
A couple of years ago, Charlotte decided to take her singing career in a modern BritPop direction. She released a straight-ahead pop album that achieved only modest success in Britain and was never even released Stateside.
Last fall, Charlotte decided to put her stalled music career on hold in favor of a television variety show project. The Charlotte Church Show seems to be a distant relative of American-style "late night" "talk shows", as it features a mix of sketch comedy, celebrity guests, interviews, and musical performances. The show has been only modestly successful in Britain [it's up against a popular long-established competitor] but has been renewed for two more seasons.
One feature of the show is a closing musical performance featuring Charlotte and a musical guest. In her short time on the air, Charlotte has been quite adept at getting some A- and B-list musicians to join her, and the performances are usually quite good. Trust me -- I've seen a few.
I stumbled upon the clip below on YouTube while searching around for something completely unrelated. This closing performance from the 6 October 2006 show features Alesha, who is better known in Britain as a former member of the R&B trio Mis-Teeq -- yet another BritPop fave that never caught on in the U.S. [their only Stateside hit was "Scandalous", which appeared in the dreadful Catwoman movie]. Charlotte and Alesha [and Charlotte's house band] take on The Killers's "Somebody Told Me", and the sound is...well, about what it would sound like if a Pop/R&B singer did the song on one of our "late night" shows with the house band.
I approached the clip with trepidation, but I quickly found myself digging the reworked version with the horns and female backing vocals. I also found it interesting that the women decided not to change the gender roles in the chorus ["well somebody told me, you had a boyfriend, who looked like a girlfriend, that I had in February of last year"]. Depending on your perspective of the narrative -- even the original is eyebrow-raising in its own way -- that makes the female version hotter, or weirder, or possibly both.
Because I haven't had one of these in a while, I decided to make this my Video Of The Day. Enjoy.
Tuesday, January 9, 2007
See, This Is Why You Are The Person Of The Year
So, Fall Out Boy were in Albuquerque NM on Saturday night. At one point during the show, FOB roadies were pulling people up on stage to join the band. Eventually, venue security decided that there were enough people on the stage, and one Security Dood got into a fight with a Roadie Dood over the whole thing. A near brawl ensued, and Pete Wentz himself got right in the middle of it to put a beat down on the buzz-killing Security Dood.
18-year-old Josh, a/k/a binxxxthesynister, a/k/a "You", was there and caught the action on his phone:
I Got My Ass Kicked By Someone In Fall Out Boy...
Congratulations You, you've done it again. And you've provided us with our Video Of The Day!!!
********
Which "Taking Back Sunday" song are you [not "You", but you]? According to Josh's MySpace page, he is "You're So Last Summer"...Awesome...
Monday, January 8, 2007
BREAKING: Website Allows Average User To Post Videos And Stuff
Hey, have you guys heard of this site called YouTube? That site's just craaaaazy, man. It's got all these videos and shit that people have uploaded. Is that possible, cuz that just sounds crazy!!!
Anyway, I found this crazy video over there, and even though it's been on the site since February 20, 2006 -- this YouTube site has been around for a year? that's just crazy!!! -- I just saw it. And I'm making it my inaugural "Video Of The Day".
Enjoy.
[Okay, that was clever. As you can imagine, after hearing the audio again, the Tubes have conflicting transcriptions of the lyrics. The consensus looks something like this. YMMV.]
