RELATED: Offer me $10K and I'll photoshop MYSELF to your specifications...
Fact No. 1: faithful readee Gawker Media recently inaugurated a new blog. Jezebel is a blog devoted to snarking about the world of women's fashion and beauty. Think Cosmo with "These 7 seven tricks WILL NOT blow his mind!!! But the truth about Atoosa Rubinstein just might!!!" [Maybe a LITTLE too inside??? -- Ed.] Their motto -- "Celebrity, Sex, Fashion. Without Airbrushing."
Fact No. 2: Faith Hill is a beautiful woman. Two months away from her 40th birthday, this Mother 0f three lovely girls [and Wife of Tim McGraw] should have no shame over a few lines here and there.
Fact No. 3: EVERY magazine cover you see when you buy your cold medicine and band-aids or whatevs at the CVS is so photoshopped it bears no resemblance to anything you or I would relate to "reality".
[uh...insert "break" here perhaps when this gets fixed -- Ed.]
Fact No. 4: Jezebel famously offered a $10 thousand bounty for a major magazine cover pic "before" the requisite photoshop job. [sorry, we can't find the original offer now -- just trust us -- Ed.]
Fact No. 5: Nick Denton is cutting a check for 10-Large as I write this.
Yes, today, someone emailed Jezebel a "before" pic of Faith Hill on the cover of the July Redbook. And here's the before, along with the after [of course -- you can figure out which is which]:
[image courtesy Jossip via Jezebel]
This story blew up the celebribloggosphere on Monday. Take a look at the differences between these two photos. Among other things that are obviously different:
* the "eye bags"
* the "back fat"
* the right arm -- where is it in "the original" photo?
* the thinner left arm
* the freckles and moles on the left arm
* and, uh, why???
* no, seriously -- why???
Longtime-faithful readers know how much I hate gettin' all Jack Shafer and shit up in y'allz grillz and shit, but...
Assuming the "before" photo is real -- a big assumption -- Redbook -- and Faith Hill -- have lots of questions to answer -- the above questions, to be exact...
...But it also -- OMG totes coincidentally -- put [BRAND NEW!!! GAWKER MEDIA blog] Jezebel on the map...
...And we here at DHMBIB would never be so cynical as to suggest that a brand-new blog...
Two notes:
1) Okay, Jezebel, so you're OK! If you offered to pay me $10K for something bloggable, I might photoshop anything you wanted -- I might even "reverse-photoshop" Redbook's July cover, just for you and your $10K payday.
So, a little more disclosure would be a good thing...Just sayin'...
2) "On The Internet, Nobody Knows You're A Dog."
ciaobaby
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
BREAKING: Ask American Celebremag Covers No Questions And They Will STILL Tell You Lies
Thursday, February 15, 2007
This Week In American Idol: Post-Hollywood Meta Edition
I suffered some unfortunate problem with my internets last week, and then some other business got in the way of posting about American Idol's last audition show from 7 February. Although I did take some notes about that show, it would seem a tad outdated to post them now, what with Hollywood Week already over and everything. 'Tis a shame really, because I actually found a whole bunch of people out there in the MySpace and such.
I took some notes about Hollywood Week, nite 1 [Tuesday 13 February], but my efforts at noting last nite's show were thwarted by Idol's let's-hurry-up-and-get-this-over-already attitude.
So instead of partial notes about old shows, I've decided to do a meta post wrapping up some of the recent developments in the AI-verse.
* Breaking: Maybe J.Hud really was a good choice for that whole "My Grammy Moment" thing after all:
In my recent Grammy wrap-up [scroll down], I commented that it seemed odd that the Grammy producers had AI3 seventh-place finisher [oh, yeah, and Oscar-nominee] Jennifer Hudson present the winner of Grammy's AI-style "My Grammy Moment" contest [wherein the winner got to perform onstage with Justin Timberlake], especially considering that there was an actual AI [and Grammy] winner in the house in the person of Carrie Underwood. [N.B.: I should also note the real possibility that CBS had leaned on the Grammy producers to select Jennifer Hudson for this duty as a way to pimp the upcoming CBS telecast of the Oscars.] I might not have been bugged so much by this if Jennifer Hudson's stumbling intro had not been anti-climacticized by her talk of "second chances" for the non-winners [Jennifer, why don't you brush that chip off your shoulder???].
[N.B.: I should also note here -- keep reading -- that this entire contest, except for the "final" voting done via AI-style text message, was conducted online at Yahoo! Music. Oh, yeah -- also, the winner of the contest, in addition to getting to sing with Justin Timberlake, was to win a Chevy vehicle. Unlike, say, on Idol, where the winner gets a Ford vehicle.]
Here's the video of J.Hud's poorly-executed introduction and winner Robyn Troup's excellent good performance.
But maybe J.Hud was the "right" choice for this after all. As her words were more prescient than the viewers realized.
Undisclosed to the voters viewers -- apparently for NDA reasons -- was the fact that contestant Robyn Troup had auditioned for American Idol this season and was one of only 172 contestants who made it to the Hollywood round. Robyn was shown performing on Tuesday nite's AI during the "group performances" stage in a group that included eventual semi-finalist Sundance Head. As far as I can tell, this was the first time Idol had identified Robyn Troup in the contest this season. She was cut in this stage, as the field was being winnowed to the top 136.
Here's Robyn's group performance from Tuesday:
The Hollywood round of AI had been filmed, and the cuts had been made, prior to Sunday's Grammy telecast. Or, in other words, at least Robyn already knew that she had been booted from Idol before she won the "My Grammy Moment" contest.
Sorry to get all Jack Shafer up in everyone's grill and shit, but I have a few questions here:
1) As far as I'm aware, Robyn could not be NDA'd from discussing anything that had already aired on American Idol -- though she had not personally been identified on any of the Idol episodes that had aired by Sunday, she was free to tell people she had made it to Hollywood [N.B.: after her victory, she would only confirm to MSNBC.com that she had auditioned for Idol]. There are lots of competing big media [and car] companies potentially involved in something not-completely-transparent here. What, if anything, did the Grammy producers and/or CBS and/or Yahoo! and/or GM/Chevy know about Robyn's involvement in Idol [on News Corp.-owned Fox]?
2) If Grammy et al. knew that Robyn had made it to Hollywood -- or had even auditioned for Idol -- why wasn't this disclosed to the viewers?
3) If Grammy et al. knew about this, did they also know Robyn had already been booted from AI?
4) How can we be confident Grammy et al. didn't engage in a little vote-tally manipulation hanky-panky -- and News Corp./Fox & Ford nose-tweaking -- to ensure the AI castoff would win this "contest"?
Do you think this is all a little too inside-baseball??? Am I being a little too tin-foil-hat about all this???
And yes, I can GUARAN-DAMN-TEE you that Fox saw this and went back and re-edited Tuesday's episode of AI to highlight Robyn Troup's performance. This could have been either to say, "hey, we had her first, and she wasn't good enough for us", or just to subtly raise these questions in the minds of people like me. AND I HAVE ABSOULTELY NO PROBLEM WITH THAT, as Robyn had already been booted -- that result did not change.
Regardless of all of this, "congratulations" to Robyn Troup for "winning" the "My Grammy Moment" "contest". Robyn also has "won" the right to say to all of the other Idol contestants -- except for the 6-or-so who will get contracts and release actual CDs -- "Bitches, I got my contract and my car, and I got to sing with Justin Timberlake. So suck it!!!"
* Breaking: Nigel Lythgoe <3's Baylie Brown too:
In the same recent media relations teleconference in which Idol Executive Producer Nigel Lythgoe all-but-spilled the beans about an upcoming "Michael Jackson event episode" of Idol, he made cryptic statements about a contestant that had been booted:
" During a recent media conference call, Nigel Lythgoe revealed that his favorite had been cut from the competition. Lythgoe said “There is one young lady in Hollywood who I would have said would have been in the top five this year that got cut purely and simply because she couldn’t remember her lyrics in a group. She just “Ma, Ma, Ma,” for the whole of the song. It broke my heart. But they have to have reasons to cut you, and that was the reason that this young lady will disappear off the show.”
" When asked to reveal who his favorite was, Lythgoe replied “I can’t name my favorite. It is a girl; I’ve got to be honest with you. Hopefully, she’ll come back next year. I certainly don’t want to compromise her with anybody else if she comes back in further years. ‘Wasn’t that Nigel’s favorite? If she gets through It’ll be she gets through because she’s Nigel’s favorite.’ So I wouldn’t do that.”
" When Baylie Brown was mentioned and Lythgoe was asked if his favorite contestant was from Texas, Lythgoe said “Hmm. I really hope that -– please trust me when I say that I don’t want to say anything regarding an individual, or name somebody, because it could affect them in the competition should they return.” "
[source]
These comments went unreported at the time, as most AI watchers viewed the Jackson story as the big takeaway from the presser. But after Baylie Brown was booted from Hollywood in the Tuesday 13 February episode, everyone returned to these comments and read them in a whole new light.
I also really liked Baylie Brown -- she was easily one of the "top five" [thanks, Nigel -- Ed.] in the audition rounds, and she absolutely nailed Faith Hill's "Stronger", a favorite of mine. As I wrote in my last episode update:
" Simon commented that Baylie was exactly what the record labels were looking for in new talent, by which I think he meant that she's a great singer, she's very attractive, and she has a nice personality [Simon also told Baylie she was "'commercial' with a capital 'c'" -- Ed.]. Baylie Brown will go far in this competition. Write that down. [*cough* Carrie Underwood *cough*] "
I didn't say she would go far this season [ahem].
In any event, there seems to have sprung up a "Bring Back Baylie" movement on the internets. Most people seem to want her back either because she's very talented or cute-as-a-baby-kitten-playing-with-rainbow-colored-yarn, or possibly both. Plus, there's that whole "she got screwed by being grouped up with the mean girls" thing. But there is a substantial minority of people who point out, well, she flubbed the lyrics.
Got an opinion???
* Breaking: Long-haired no-good-niks ain't got no chance on no American Idol no-how:
Sean Michel, the "Fidel Castro of American Idol 6", was sent home in the Tuesday episode of Idol. There was a rumor floating on the internets ahead of Tuesday that Sean had been cut because he refused to cut his hair and beard. Do you believe that?
* Odds & Sods -- AI Meta Edition:
* Here are the top 24.
* Idolator has already made its predictions on the final 12.
* What song will Idol use this year when it whacks contestants [last year, it was Daniel Powter's "Bad Day"]? Leave a note in the comments if you have a good idea.
* Just because...
This has nothing to do with Idol, but....Here's the super-awesome Cat Power [Chan Marshall] doing an excellent cover of Grammy Record Of The Year winner nominee "Crazy" in Berlin in late 2006. Enjoy!
Cat Power - Crazy [mp3, via YSI]
Cat Power - Crazy [mp3, via zShare]
