META: This Week In "This Week In American Idol" [16 March 2007 Edition]

On further review of this week's American Idol episodes -- Tuesday's performance show and Wednesday's results show -- there are a couple of things I want to talk about a little more.

* TUESDAY: Haley Scarnato has a McPheever:

For some reason, this didn't really register with me on Tuesday night. On Wednesday, I read a few other wrap-ups that commented upon Haley's dress. So I went back to the AI site to check out the photos, and my jaw hit the ground...



...in the good way, mind you. Nevertheless, I had the distinct feeling that I had seen something like this before...



It seems to me that Haley knows that she has failed to make much of an impression in the competition so far, and was the "last woman in" [6th place out of 6]. And it seems she decided to pull out all the stops. She came out Tuesday in full-on Katharine McPhee deploy-all-of-your-assets mode.

Even "fuller" in fact. Observe in the montage above that even though Kat would occasionally "bring out the backup singers", she never exposed as much leg as Haley's mid-thigh dress did on Tuesday. And despite her clear sex appeal, Kat was fashionably covered more times than she was exposed as above. [In fairness to Haley, I must add that Kat's style a year ago may have been influenced by her fuller figure.]

But on Tuesday, Haley brought it all -- the decolletage, the long sexy curly hair, and those legs that didin't quit. And it seems to have worked. Despite a subpar performance in which she forgot her lyrics and missed the pitch a few times [she cried and called herself a "schmuck" for forgetting the lyrics], Haley -- consistently in the bottom of the group for the last few weeks -- finished above the Bottom 3.

Will Haley stick with this "new approach"? Will it buy her some extra time to gain the confidence she so desperately needs?

WEDNESDAY: Ocean Breathes Salty, Music Bloggosphere Breathes Fiery:



Many people were quite offended by Diana Ross's wrap-thingy and her vote-off-worthy performance of "More Today Than Yesterday". But what really lit up the bloggosphere on Thursday was the Ford commercial "music video" the Idols made set to Modest Mouse's "Float On".

Where to start with this monstrosity? The zombified choreography? Chris Sligh's is-it-real-or-is-it-a-wig "afro"? Blake Lewis' breakdancing??? That ugly-ass orange car???

I know that most "music bloggers" are all about cred and authenticity and "not selling out" and shit, and that Modest Mouse are beloved punk rockers from back in the day. But seriously, I can't remember the last time I saw rants this full of bile and hate -- and sadness -- from so many different sources -- and trust me, the comments sections are worse than the bloggers' rants [as always].

[we think some of it is pretty funny, too, but YMMV -- Ed.]

Here's Alex at BestWeekEver:

" For me, American Idol has always been kind of like Uggs Boots: annoying, ridiculous and counfoundingly popular, but relatively easy to ignore. Last night, however, a line was crossed when Ford Motors sponsored a commercial featuring the finalists’ douche-chill-inducing Kids Incorporated-inspired music video rendition of Modest Mouse’s hit song “Float On”, featuring Zombie dances and trashy convertible Mustang 5.0’s that are orange. Now, I realize that this song - and the album from whence it came - outgrew Modest Mouse’s long-held punk rock ethos long ago, but this - this was like the modern musical equivalent of the Kennedy Assassination, Watergate and and Jack Nicholson getting killed at the end of Easy Rider, all happening in front of us, at the same time, set to the soundtrack of Avril Lavigne covering ABBA’s “Dancing Queen”. In short, sensory rape. "

ICYMI: The Day the Music Died [bestweekever.tv]

Here's Scott and/or Amrit at Stereogum:

" Post Puppet Show, we waited on line with the rest of Austin for Blonde Redhead at Emo's. Things were looking dire, until we got word via BBerry that Simon, Randy, Paula, and Ford Fusion had a treat waiting on the Internet for us. Yes, American Idol's top 12 gave “Float On” the silly costume and synchronized dance treatment for a Ford promo. Modest Mouse wouldn't be our first choice for breakdancing, but if anything this makes us appreciate Isaac's voice more. Nice afro too. Sigh. If only Antonella Barba were around to lip-sync Amy Winehouse next week. "

American Idol Gets Its "Float On" [stereogum.com]

[Antonella Barba singing Amy Winehouse? we'd paypal-donate just to see that -- Ed.]

Here's Mark and/or Seth at Defamer:

" If you caught last night's American Idol elimination round, you may have experienced what could only be described as the kind of fever dream Paula Abdul has after taking one too many daytrips on the Percocet-Mezcal Express. What you were witnessing, however, was no opiate-induced hallucination, but something far more sinister: A Ford Motors-sponsored "music video", featuring the contestants--set adrift on a concept best described as "Let's dress you up as disco and old school hip-hop dancers! That'll be a fun kind of thing!"--performing "Float On" on the Fox backlot. It could have only been less deferential to the source material if producers has opted instead to have their budding superstars encircle Modest Mouse lead singer/songwriter Isaac Brock, beat him unconscious with a variety of blunt objects, then spin around to lower their bellbottoms and tracksuit pants and relieve themselves, Final 12-style, on his broken, bruised body. "

'Idol' Finalists Already Making Astounding Contributions To Awful Music History [defamer.com]

Here's Kelly at Dandelife:

" But Ford has crossed the line with their latest. Getting 12 idols to do a rock video for "Float On" is just silly. It looks silly. It sounds silly. And frankly, I don't feel it. Anyone of any age could have prevented that from happening. While Modest Mouse surely has profited from it, I'm sure they were given the chance to opt out, but why? They should live in a world where ripping, mixing and burning is something fans should be free to do. They should also live in a world where corporations and their partners in marketing know the difference between fan-driven homage and dollar-lusting kitsch. Nobody was fooled and we're all just Sad Sappy Suckers. "

Modest Mouse on American Idol - Rocksploitation Case Study [dandelife.com]

Here's Brian and/or Maura at Idolator:

" Judging by Internet/blogosphere reaction, last night's American Idol rendition of "Float On" is clearly the most disturbing thing to ever happen to our country's yup-rock taste-barons--more disturbing than Vietnam (the war) and Vietnam (the band) combined. But the Idol singers weren't the first youth-skewing group to cheese up Modest Mouse:

" Which version of "Float On" do you prefer?

" a) The Kidz Bop kids' version

" b) The American Idol kids' version

" c) Please just shiv me in the back and be done with it. "

The Cover-Song Showcase Showdown: Which Version Of "Float On" Floats Your Boat? [idolator.com]

THURSDAY BONUS: Clay Aiken and his new "beard":

No, "really".



Sorry, Claymates, He's a Nerd [mollygood.com]