Sunday, December 15, 2013

The Albums of the Second Half-ish of 2013-ish

Following up on this. These are the ("new" release) albums/EPs that made their way into my library in the second half of the year... In (approximate) order of release:

Court Yard Hounds, Amelita
Court Yard Hounds, Amelita

Selena Gomez, Stars Dance
Selena Gomez, Stars Dance

Aubrey O'Day, Between Two Evils
Aubrey O'Day, Between Two Evils

Arctic Monkeys, AM
Arctic Monkeys, AM

Janelle Monae, The Electric Lady
Janelle Monae, The Electric Lady

Snarky Puppy, Family Dinner -- Volume 1
Snarky Puppy, Family Dinner -- Volume 1

Mazzy Star, Seasons Of Your Day
Mazzy Star, Seasons Of Your Day

Miley Cyrus, Bangerz
Miley Cyrus, Bangerz

Panic! At The Disco, Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die!
Panic! At the Disco, Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die!

Katy Perry, Prism
Katy Perry, Prism

Brandy Clark, 12 Stories
Brandy Clark, 12 Stories

Kelly Clarkson, Wrapped In Red
Kelly Clarkson, Wrapped In Red

Julie Roberts, Good Wine & Bad Decisions
Julie Roberts, Good Wine & Bad Decisions

Mindy Smith, Snowed In
Mindy Smith, Snowed In

M.I.A., Matangi
M.I.A., Matangi

Amy Jo Johnson, Never Broken
Amy Jo Johnson, Never Broken

Leona Lewis, Christmas With Love
Leona Lewis, Christmas With Love

Beyonce, Beyonce
Beyonce, Beyonce

Jo Dee Messina, Me
Jo Dee Messina, Me

continue reading...

Thursday, June 27, 2013

The Albums of the First Half-ish of 2013-ish

I still buy "albums" (do the kids still say "albums" these days?). These are the albums (including EPs) that found their way into my library between roughly Thanksgiving 2012 and mid-June 2013...
In (approximate) order of release:

Rihanna, Unapologetic
Rihanna, Unapologetic

Solange, True
Solange, True

Ke$ha, Warrior
Ke$ha, Warrior

Dawn Richard, Goldenheart
Dawn Richard, Goldenheart

Neon Hitch, Happy Neon
Neon Hitch, Happy Neon

Kate Nash, Girl Talk
Kate Nash, Girl Talk

Ashley Monroe, Like A Rose
Ashley Monroe, Like A Rose

Orianthi, Heaven In This Hell
Orianthi, Heaven In This Hell

Megan Hilty, It Happens All The Time
Megan Hilty, It Happens All The Time

Justin Timberlake, The 20/20 Experience
Justin Timberlake, The 20/20 Experience

Kacey Musgraves, Same Trailer Different Park
Kacey Musgraves, Same Trailer Different Park

Dido, Girl Who Got Away
Dido, Girl Who Got Away

Paramore, Paramore
Paramore, Paramore

Molly Ringwald, Except Sometimes
Molly Ringwald, Except Sometimes

Fall Out Boy, Save Rock And Roll
Fall Out Boy, Save Rock And Roll

Natalie Maines, Mother
Natalie Maines, Mother

Pistol Annies, Annie Up
Pistol Annies, Annie Up

Demi Lovato, Demi
Demi Lovato, Demi

The Goods, The Goods
The Goods, The Goods

LeAnn Rimes, Spitfire
LeAnn Rimes, Spitfire

Court Yard Hounds, Sunshine
Court Yard Hounds, Sunshine

Kanye West, Yeezus
Kanye West, Yeezus

Kelly Rowland, Talk A Good Game
Kelly Rowland, Talk A Good Game
If I find time, maybe I'll follow up with a twitter-like message about each...

continue reading...

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

This Week In Tonight In American Idol [21 April 2009]

Hai...

Yes, I've been quiet on the Idol-blogging front for a while. Due to a combination of work and personal and other-stupid reasons, I've often missed the live broadcast of the performance show, but I have been following along. Sometimes, I've caught it at 9PM, and sometimes at 10:30PM, and sometimes at 5AM on Wednesday. But I have been paying attention.

Last week, as I'm sure you know, Idol "made history" when the judges used their first-ever "judges' save" to save Matt Giraud from elimination. Reaction to this choice in the Idol-verse was mixed -- to be generous -- but I for one applauded (literally) the decision, because I thought he did, indeed, deserve another chance.

As a result of the judges' decision last week, two Idols will go home this week, and there are no more save opportunities available for the judges -- or the Idols. Because the stakes are THAT MUCH HIGHER this week, I decided to make the extra effort to live-ish blog this week's performance show.

Join me, after the jump...

Three notes, before I begin:

1) I made it to the DVR of this episode around the time Fringe started, so it's only a live-ish blog. Accordingly, I won't be bothering with time codes. I'll simply record my thoughts as I watch the recording, and maybe as I replay it to make sure I didn't miss something.

2) Regardless of (1) above, I'll try my best to make this "live"-ish. These really are my insta-reactions to what I'm hearing.

3) And finally, my monitor died this past week, and my backup monitor sucks rocks. So I can't see much of what's actually on the screen. So I will miss outrageous outfits and weird hand gestures and all of that. Sorry. But isn't that okay, because I'll be actually evaluating these "singers" in this "singing competition" based on their "singing"??? amirite???

Okay -- let's go!

* * *

Top 7 Week (Part 2) is "Disco Week"...I foresee great peril for several of tonite's contestants...also, i hope the producers / directors have figured out how to get all of the judges involved this week without running overtime...

Ryan: recap...history...Simon is "dressed for the occasion" (whatever that means)...

1) Lil Rounds -- "I'm Every Woman", by Chaka Khan (also covered by Whitney Houston)...Lil has been rumored to be on the verge of elimination for weeks...she has not lived up to her original billing, and Simon is way past done with her...and this performance shows why...very middling, nothing stands out here...where's the range???

Randy: sounded so wild to me...still didn't really show me what kind of artist you could be...
Kara: all of America has been waiting for you to sing Chaka Khan...not sure it was worth the wait...you've been every other woman but yourself...still didn't tell me who you are as an artist...
Paula: Lil is sick...i appluad your strong vocals...
Simon: you look sad...

Lil: I had fun tonite

Simon: i'm glad you had fun, because i think this is the last week we're going to see you...no originality, very copycat, the arrangement and the vocals were a mess...sorry...

2) Kris Allen -- "She Works Hard For The Money", by Donna Summer...one of Summers' late-period disco hits...Wait! is this Matt? No! always get these two confused...Kris is playing the guitar, and is very Mraz-ian in this performance...the Idol-verse seems to be split about whether Kris or Matt is more likely to hit the top 4...only one of them will...this is a'ight for me, dawg, but it's light years beyond what Lil just did...

Kara: took a risk with that arrangement, and it paid off big-time...
Paula: classy Santana-feel to that (THANK YOU -- couldn't place it -- Ed.)...(something about shopping in the women's department)...originality...contender...

(Paula and Simon proceed to fight about Paula's, ahem, "influenced" comments about Kris shopping in the women's department...)

Simon: complete polar opposite to Lil...original, not karaoke...fantastic performance...
Randy: you know who you are, you're ready for the big-time, dawg...

3) Danny Gokey -- "September", by Earth, Wind & Fire (of course!!!)...this is not just "karaoke" -- it's "karaoke like Taylor Hicks!"...watch the judges slobber all over this...i'm so tired of Danny...please let Lil and Danny go home this week...

Randy: you turned this into something that really worked for you tonite...good job...
Kara: incredible vocalist...your pitch is right on...solid...
Paula: one of the sexiest voices ever...
Simon: i agree with what everyone else says about the vocals...but as a performance, i didn't get any kind of star power...the performance overall was a bit awkward...

Paula: i'll still see you in the finals!!!

4) Allison Irahea -- "Hot Stuff", by Donna Summer...one of my favorite DS songs...this should be good (I hope, crossing fingers)...okay, I'm deep in the tank for Allison, and I know this is different, but I have to say, I'm really lovin' this arrangement...sounds like P!nk crossed with Pat Benatar crossed with Deborah Harry crossed with Bonnie Raitt...wow! I really dug that...

Randy: i didn't love the arrangement, but you can really sing...i love you...
Kara: I agree, i didn't love the arrangement, i loved the vocal...
Paula: you don't compromise, you brought it, you hit it off the chart...
Simon: brilliant performance...

5) Adam Lambert -- "If I Can't Have You", by Yvonne Elliman...okay, while Adam is doing his thing, lemme rant for a minute...Adam is unique and almost always perfect at what he's trying to do...but I don't really like his schtick...it's waaaaaaaay too self-indulgent...back to this "performance"...waaaaaaaay too predictable and "haven't I heard this before?" (For Me!)...let's watch the judges eat it up!...

Randy: ready right now...hot one tonite America!
Kara: brilliant...most memorable...inspiring...
Paula: felt your pain...fascinating, brilliant...you will be in the finals...
Simon: something we weren't expecting...original...memorable...vocals were immaculate...

(props to Adam, again, for giving a shout-out to Michael Someone for helping out with the arrangement...at least Adam is willing to share credit where it is due...)

6) Matt Giraud -- "Stayin' Alive", by The Bee Gees...wait is this Kris? No! it's Matt...always get these two confused...very Timberlake-ian...or Mraz-ian...can't tell...perfectly okay...

Randy: didn't love the song choice, didn't love the arrangement, but you can really sing...
Kara: you brought disco back (see, even Kara thinks it was Timberlake-ian)...
Paula: you pick songs like I bowl -- this was a strike...
Simon: sorry to put a damper on this, but i didn't like that performance...a bit desperate...vocals not great...no originality...

7) Anoop Desai -- "Dim All The Lights", by Donna Summer...another of Donna Summer's lesser hits...seriously? three Donna Summer songs??? Anoop does his usual Michael Bolton schtick...not digging this...

Randy: rough last note...didn't love the arrangement...but you can sing!
Kara: great song choice...sounded like it could be on the radio...last two weeks, your best performances...
Paula: you look fantastic (I guess he's wearing pink)...smile more...
Simon: mediocre at best...horrible version of that song...your worst performance by a mile...

* * *

"Disco Week" is an increasingly-difficult theme for Idol. The demographics are obviously trending against the show on this, as a "theme" that highlights songs that are more than three decades old will not resonate with the younger viewers that Idol is shedding in droves. "Disco" is a genre that still has yet to acquire "retro cool" status -- and may never acquire that status -- for viewers whose musical touchstones include "the '80's", "grunge", "pre-millenial teen pop", and -- "ZOMG!" -- "Hanna Montana!".

I'm not suprised there was no "mentor" this week, for two reasons. The first -- banal -- reason being, the mentor segments would've pushed the show over its DVR-time-limit again, which Fox has learned is increasingly not acceptable. [Note there were also only limited pre- and post-performance segments, while each contestant got the four-judge critique treatment this week.] The second reason being, name any "disco"-era mentor who would've not been out-of-element on this show this week. 60-year-old Donna Summer, who provided three songs this week? 62-year-old Barry Gibb, who provided two songs this week and was woefully on the wrong show last year? SRSLY??? [P.S. No offense to Donna Summer, Barry Gibb, or anyone else who might've been tapped.]

* * *

Insta-Rankings (For Me!):

1-4 [alphabetically]) Adam, Allison, Kris, Matt
5-6 [alphabetically]) Anoop, Danny

7) Lil

(no insta-gaps at the top...with the combination of the uncomfortable theme and the two-people-going-home-tonite thing, I'd hate to be an odds-maker tonite...)

* * *

Who SHOULD go home? Lil and Danny (or Anoop, who cares?)...

Who WILL go home? Sadly, probably Allison and Matt...

* * *

In case you've forgotten who "TPTB" plan to be in the finals, Paula reminded you tonite: Adam and Danny...

* * *

UPDATED WEDNESDAY MORNING

sigh...the DialIdol results are in, and they make me very sad:

1) Lil
2) Adam
3) Danny
4) Anoop
5) Matt
6) Kris
7) Allison

America, WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING???

continue reading...

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

This Week In The Last Two Weeks In Tonight In American Idol [03 March 2009]

PRE-SHOW: We missed the live broadcast of last week's Idol Semifinal show, so we couldn't live-ish blog it. But then we saw it. And we were glad we missed it. That may have been the worst Idol performance show we have ever seen seen.

In case you missed Wednesday's dreadful performance show and Thursday's equally-dreadful results show, the Idols who made it through were: Kris Allen, Allison Iraheta, and Adam Lambert. For those of you who were scoring at home -- or even for those of you who were all alone -- that makes four males and two females making it through in the first two weeks.

Our preliminary prediction for this week -- Idol will figure out how to advance more females in to the finals, so we'll have a 6-6 split...


:00: Ryan tells us the Idols "have said goodbye to their families"...we are so glad we have ditched the whole "let's give the Idols the results in front of their families" thing...that was wrong...

:02: Ryan and Simon agree that Simon should be picking more of the songs...we actually agree with this -- Simon is the only judge to whom you need to pay attention...

:04: first up tonite is Von Smith...he sings "You're All I Need"...this, we think, is a cover of a Mary J. track feat. Method Man...

okay, seriously, this is quite good...better than every performance last week...rite out the block, dawg!!!

Randy agrees with us...Kara agrees with us...Paula agrees with us...

Simon: you remind me of Clay Aiken...sang very well...

Rite out the box, Von has set the bar...

:14: Taylor Vaifanua is up next...she's singing "If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys...

this is actually quite good...this is one of my favorite Keys songs, and Taylor is doing it quite justice...

but the song is a subdued song, and this might not have been the best choice...

it's so hard to sing Alicia Keys and do it "right"

oh noes...Kara is complaining that she doesn't know her personality..."what's it like to go shopping with Taylor?"

SRSLY???

Paula says we heard this in Hollywood...hey, did they show this???

Simon -- RIGHTFULLY! -- calls Kara out on the "shopping" comment...but he also agrees that she doesn't stand out..."bland"...

Randy gets a delayed comment: you didn't tell us anything special about you...

Ryan makes a "Simon wears the same shirt every show" joke...even though it was Kara who made the "shopping" comment...

SRSLSY???

:26: Next up is Alex Wagner-Trugman...Alex is taking on "I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues" by Billy Joel's favorite concert partner, Elton John...

...he starts out okay, but then he quickly rocket-man's into Hicksville-karaoke-land...

Paula: showman...

Simon: we had fun watching you, but not listening to you...

Randy: "crazy in a buck-wild sort of way"

Kara: you're honest...

:30: So, after three performances...

Von: yes-eligible...Taylor: wildcard-eligible...Alex: no...

:36: Ryan: "the first ABBA song ever live on Idol..."

you seriously have no idea how pleased -- the first ABBA sing -- and depressed -- ABBA -- we are, at the same time...

Arianna Afsar is the Idol...the choice: "The Winner Takes It All", which -- we are embarrassed to admit -- is one of our "favorite" ABBA songs...

this starts out horribly, but does get narginally better...but not mush...

but, no...

Simon: absolutely terrible...

Randy: [whatevs]...Kara: [whatevs]...Paula: old-fashioned [whatevs]...

Paula can't remember how the name of the group is pronounced...

THIS IS WHY WE LOVE PAULA!!!

Uh, Arianna: no...

:47: Next up is local-to-me Ju'Not Joyner...he's singing the craptacular "Hey There, Delilah" by the Plain White T's...

okay, this is a really bad choice...mostly because this song really suxxx...

there's no way he gets good marks for this...

Randy: pulled back, smart choice...

Kara: smooth...but you were holding back...

Paula: [struggles, which is not good]

Simon: better than I thought it was going to be...

We were wrong? can't be...

:58: Kristen McNamara is reunited with Nathaniel (coming...), with whom she clashed in H'Wood...Kristen's chartreuse extensions are gone...

Kristen is taking on "Give Me One Reason" by Tracy Chapman...

we would call this "competent karaoke"...there is no reason for Kristen to advance based on this listless performance...

This may be the best losing performance of the season...we enjoyed it for 90 seconds -- but we don't ever want to hear it again...

Kara: should be doing Kelly Clarkson...P!nk...

THANK GOD FOR KARA D!!!

even Randy calls it "karaoke"...

After six...

1) Von

2) Taylor
3) Ju'Not

4-6) Alex, Arianna, Kristen

1:04: Nathaniel Marshall, "drama queen", is up next...

He's singing "I Would Do Anything For Love" by Meatloaf....

countdown to Simon saying "...too Broadway..." begins in 3...2..1...

also, we're not digging his "look" tonite...

the judges literally are speechless...

and Kara breaks out the first "karaoke" comment for Nathaniel...

Ryan does the whole "simon has teh gey!" joke here, which is obviously a joke on nathaniel here...so cruel...

uh, no...

1:17: Felicia Barton is next...she's taking on "No One" from Alicia Keys...

this is the young woman who was subbed in at the last minute for the other woman who was disqualified for being an industry ringer...

let us take the opportunity to remark how we appreciate how Idol is trying to contemporize itself this season...

Felicia starts out very Keys-esque but then degenerates into whack-ness...

sorry, blew it...

Paula: gorgeous...

Simon: [totally agrees with us]

Randy: hott! made it your own...

Kara: problem with some of those notes...noticed you...

Felicia has good odds to make it through because she is already a "wildcard"...

we're just sayin'...

1:23: Next up is Scott MacIntyre...he of the vision difficulties...

he is taking on "Mandolin Rain" by Bruce Hornsby...

HEY! that was actually listenable!

...judges [blah blah blah]

Simon: you're growing on me...

After nine...

1) Von

2-4) Taylor, Ju'Not, Scott

5) Felicia

6-9) Alex, Arianna, Kristen, Nathaniel

1:34: next up is Kendall Beard...

Kendall might be this season's Kellie Pickler...she's taking on "This One's For The Girls" by Martina McBride...

yeah, def channeling Pickler and Carrie Underwood in the same performance...

uh, no...

Paula: best outfit...

Simon: you're def a country girl...

1:43: Next up is Jorge Nunez...he's taking on "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me" by Elton John...

not bad, but very Elliott Yamin-esque for me...which means, maybe gets through, but...

Simon: [givin' him props...]

judges: pimpin' you, dawg'...

1:53: Last up tonite is Lil Rounds...she's taking on "Be Without You" by Mary J....

this is very competent for me, but it is not blowing me away...

sorry, i don't think she makes it through on votes this week...maybe as a wildcard candidate

Simon: brilliant, but bad song choice

all the judges are pimping her, even though that was just a'ight for me, dawg...

after twelve, our first impression is:

1) Von

2) Lil

3-7) Jorge, Ju'Not, Kendall, Scott, Taylor

8-12) Alex, Arianna, Felicia, Kristen, Nathaniel


* * *

Likely to make it through this week -- first impressions (alphabetically...):

Von Swift; Lil Rounds; Ju'Not Joyner

* * *

Darkhorse candidates this week (alphabetically...):

Scott MacIntyre; Taylor Vaifanua

continue reading...

Sunday, February 22, 2009

OSCAR 2009: DHMBIB's Liveblog

We're back to liveblog this year's Academy Award ceremony. And if you've ever seen our previous liveblogs of this "event", you already know it's gonna be pretty half-assed.

Let's go!

(for previous Oscar liveblogs, click the tags on this post...)
8:45ish PM: Faithful Reader KG is hosting her annual Oscar party once again, and once again everything is spectacular.

8:46ish PM: Due to some technical issues, we're a little late getting started. What did we miss? Hugh Jackman told some jokes. Anne Hathaway was a good sport. Frank Langella was an even better sport. Oh, and HJ gave millions of viewers around the world the mental image of Meryl Streep on steroids. AND WE'RE STILL TRYING TO EAT DINNER!!!

8:48 PM: Best Supporting Actress...Penelope Cruz! Hey, shock -- we're 0-1 in the contest!

Penenlope says something in Spanish. We don't speak Spanish.

8:51: A car company spends our money to thank us for giving them our money to pay for commercials during the Oscars. Awesome.

SUCK IT, AMERICAN TAXPAYERS!!!

8:54: Tina Fey and Steve Martin bring the funny to the presentation of Best Original Screenplay..."Milk"! We're 0-2!!!

This year, we adopted the daring contest strategy of going with "Slumdog" in every category.

Yeah, we have no freakin' idea what we're doing...

Wait, Tom DeLonge is an Oscar-winning gay ex-Mormon screenwriter?

8:59: Tina and Steve stick around for the other screenplay category, Best Adapted Screenplay...

Oh, for the screenplay awards, Tina and Steve are *reading* parts of the screenplay, that "set the stage" for the film clip that follows...

This is going to be a very long nite...

The winner..."Slumdog Millionaire"! We're 1-2!

9:03: Only 3 (and 1/2?) hours to go!!!

9:04: Jennifer Anniston and Jack Black?

"Throughout the evening, we're going to be showing you a 2008 movie yearbook..."

ZOMG NO! SOMEONE PLEASE KILL ME NOW!!!

9:05: What's the over-under on when the Academy will start handing out awards for "Best Voice Actor/Actress"

9:06: Best Animated Feature..."WALL-E"! We're 2-2!

9:08: Best Short Film, Animated..."La Maison En Petits Cubes"

True story: ahead of the Grammys two weeks ago, we messaged Faithful Reader KG and told her we would not be liveblogging the Grammys but would be participating in the comments on the liveblog at Idolator. Later, she sent me a reply. Here's part of the actual text of that reply: "...These are way different from the Oscars. No one thanks their spouses, or apparently is expected to." Oh, Faithful Reader KG. You are SO an Oscar person.

Another way the Grammys are diffferent: waaaaay more M.I.A.

9:15: We took a break, and we HOPE we missed one of those Yearbook things...

Daniel Craig and Sarah Jessica Parker present Best Art Direction, even though no one has any idea what the hell art direction is..."The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button!" We've lost count...

And, the first play-out of the night! Who had 9:18???

9:20: Sarah and Danny stay out to present Costume Design..."The Duchess"!

Three-time Grammy winner Fergie now has an Oscar to add to her mantle! AWESOME!!!

9:23: And, Sarah and Danny stay out for Best Makeup..."Benjamin Button"!

9:26: When we learned that, sadly, we did not miss the "Romance Yearbook" Who are these people, BTW?

This yearbook has a Coldplay song for the soundtrack. Too bad WE CAN'T FREAKIN' STAND COLDPLAY, or else we might know which song it is...

9:31: Natalie Portman and Ben Stiller...what an odd combo...and why is Stiller wearing that ugly-ass beard? A: BECAUSE HE'S NOT FUNNY!!!

Oh, I get it -- this is a parody of that interview that Joaquin Pheonix did on Letterman or whatevs, we missed it...

The award is Cinematography..."Slumdog"!

And now, our strategy looks a little better...

9:36: We're sorry, were you trying to read a liveblog? Jessica Biel is on...

9:40: We had some...administrative duties to perform (yeah!), so we missed that entertaining piece with James Franco and Seth Rogen

9:45: Best Short Film, Live Action..."Spiezeugland (Toyland)"!

As usual, we have absolutely nothing funny to say about that ["as usual" -- Eds.]

9:53: We were about to tae another break during Hugh Jackman's salute to musicals...but then Beyonce hit the stage, and we were glad we stuck around...

A couple of years ago, we suggested that AMPAS do everything it possibly could to ensure Beyonce would perform at the ceremony...it looks like someone is finally listening to us...

[pat selves on back...]

10:02: Since we're only 90 FREAKIN MINUTES in to this death slog, let's give out only our second major, because, why the hell not? Supporting Actor...

This year, we five random former winners who each give an introduction for one of the nominees...Cuba Gooding Jr. (snickers...)

10:08: Best Supporting Actor...Heath Ledger! obvs, moron...

His Family accepts the award, which was a very nice thing for the Academy to arrange

10:11: Can't say anything about that emotional moment.

10:11:30: Oh good -- another one of these idiotic Yearbook thingies...it's a good thing we set aside time for these things, and not oh, performances of the Original Song nominees...No, we didn't need to see any of those...

10:15: Who should we choose to give out the award for Documentary Feature, this award for a serious film about a very bad thing in real life? Oh, I don't know, maybe a FUCKING POLITICAL COMEDIAN? Yeah, that sounds about right...

Best Documentary Feature..."man On Wire"!

10:17: Comedian dude sticks around for Documentary Short..."Smile Pinki"...DHMBIB's readers will find this hard to believe, but we did not see any of these Documentary Shorts...

10:22: The "Post-Production" Yearbrook has "Tick Tick Boom" by The Hives as its soundtrack, and no one here ('cept for us) knows what this is...

10:25: Speaking of songs and artists no one knows, here's Will Smith! Presenting the award for Visual Effects, because why the hell not?

Best Visual Effects..."Benjamin Button"! Didn't see it, BTW...

10:28: Oh, NOW he gets jiggy wit the sound categories...

Sound Editing..."The Dark Knight"!

Sound Mixing..."Slumdog"!

Memo to selves: remember in the next 12 months to figure out what the hell is the difference between "sound editing" and "sound mixing". Or, to continue to not give a shit, whatevs...

10:33: What the hell is Smith still doing here? Oh, another award..."Editing" is now in the "post-production bloc" of the show...

Editing..."Slumdog"!

10:40: Hacktacular comedian and comic actor Eddie Murphy is somehow exactly the right choice to present The Jean Hirsholt Humanitarian Award to JERRY FUCKING LEWIS [types that imagining Professor Frink's voice...]. This is the portion of the evening when the party we're at mutes the TV to do a trivia contest, so, sadly, we have no idea what Jerry Lewis is saying. But we're sure its very humanitarian. And unfunny.

10:50: We're back with the volume, and the orchestra is playing some kind of monatge, so it must be time for the sound categories...looks like M.I.A. is m.i.a. this evening

[Ha! bet ya didn't see THAT coming...]

10:52: Alicia Keys and Zac Efron (ZOMG!!!!!11!!11one!!1) are here to present the sound awards...first up: Original Score..."Slumdog"!

10:55: And here are the nominees for Original Song, which are being presented in one mash-up medley, because why the hell not? We don't have TIME for full performances of these songs because there are THREE of them, people! If we performed all THREE of these songs, we'd go over by 23 minutes, instead of 13 minutes, doncha know???

Okay, here's that one song from "Slumdog" that had Oscar offering to allow M.I.A. to perform in a freakin' bed if she would just stop griping about the fact that she just had a baby barely a week ago and get her lazy ass on a plane to Hollywood...

And here's that one song from WALL-E by Peter Gabriel, which Peter Gabriel reused to perform because he's somewhat of an insufferable prick, or maybe was pissed off about this whole medley thing, yeah that works...John Legend bravely offers to be not a prick and step up and give Oscar viewers ninety watchable-listenable seconds...

And here's that other song from "Slumdog" which did not have M.I.A. on it...

And ta-da that's it! And the winner is "Jai Ho" from "Slumdog", and now the music categories are gone, so we can get all these brown people off the stage and go back to giving awards to Jerry Lewis...

11:05: Two people we don't know are here to present the award for Best Foreign Language Film..."Departures"! This Japanese dude actually makes a joke about his film, but no one gets it, and the director very awkardly jumps to a reaction shot of the audience, who are silent. And then, the Japanese dude is played out. This awkward moment is the most unintentionally hilarious moment of the evening.

11:10: Queen Latifah introduces the death montage, and she sings...she is good...

11:19: Here's Reese Witherspoon to present the award for Best Director...ZOMG, only four awards to go and we still have 40 minutes to kill...maybe we can reprise the Original Song medley???

Best Director...Danny Boyle for "Slumdog Millionaire"...no one here is shocked...

11:25: They really are trying to hit that 12:00 uptime, aren't they? The Best Actress montage begins...

11:30: Which color crayon in the jumbo box most closely resembles Sophia Loren's skin tone? Is it "burnt sienna"? What the hell, let's go with "burnt sienna"

11:33: Best Actress...Kate Winslet finally wins her long-overdue Oscar, and absolutely no one is shocked...her acceptance speech is far-and-away the most genuine and emotional of the nite...

and how great is it that she asked her dad to whistle so she would know where in the theater he was, and he did, and she shouted out and waved to him...

"I'm sorry, Meryl, but you'll have to just suck that up!"...classic!

11:36: The Best Actor montage begins...

11:43: Best Actor...Sean Penn wins in a non-upset that everyone has been predicting for the last month even though Mickey Rourke was considered a lock around New Years Day...

..and we are very proud to say we marked Penn, one of our all-time favorite actors, on our ballots this year...

interestingly, the Wikipedia page for Best Actor Winners was updated before Penn had even begun his acceptance speech...

11:47: Steven Spielberg introduces a Best Picture montage that honors the current crop of nominees and some previous classic winners...this, along with Penn's and Winslet's -- especially Winslet -- overly-long acceptance speeches practically guarantee we'll miss our 12PM upcut...but! Oscar, you still get a trophy just for participating!

11:52: Finally, the nominees for Best Picture are announced..."Slumdog Millionaire"! And once again, no one is surprised...

11:54: If "Slumdog Millionaire" had only one nominated "Producer" why are there like eleventy billion people on the stage? Someone at the party just said: "I think everyone who has ever seen the movie is on stage right now"

11:55: BREAKING: Hugh Jackman says good night! We made it before midnight!

we're signing off now...edits and updates to follow over the next day or so...

-- DHMBIB

continue reading...

Thursday, February 19, 2009

This Week In Tonight In American Idol [18 February 2009]

I didn't have the chance to watch Idol live on Wednesday due to previous commitments. But that's okay, because there really isn't much point to "live-blogging" the "results show", because the only important takeaway is "who left?".

But also as a result of said previous commitment, I don't know "who left?".

So, I'm doing an after-the-fact semi-live-ish-blog in which I'll offer up my first impressions on some of the changes that result from the new semi-final elimination scheme...

More -- or less -- as always, after the jump...
[Due to the timing of this, and the whole "tell us who left!" thingy, we won't be bothering with time codes...sue us! -- Eds.]

Ryan: 24 million votes after Tuesday's performance episode, almost 10 million more than "at this time last year"...okay, that's impressive...

Ryan: Kara, who disappointed you last night?

Kara: Stevie, Casey, Stephen...
Randy: Simon...
Kara: Simon...

Ryan: I'm not talking about after the show, I'm talking about during the telecast

CHECK PLEASE!

I can't be bothered to unpack this group performance, because it's late, but I am actually glad we'll get three of these over the next few weeks, because I actually like these...and F'IN' NINE OF THESE PEOPLE* ARE GOING HOME TONITE!

[* not necessarily nine of these people, moron...up to three of these people could come back as wildcards -- Eds.]

Ryan recaps Tuesday nite..."but, it was Tatiana who turned the nite around"...

SRSLY? was Ryan watching the same show I was???

Casey to the stage (she's gone, of course...)

Ryan: unfortunately, you're not in the Top 12

Stephen to the stage (also gone...)

Ryan: you...are...NOT in the Top 12

Alexis to the stage

OK, SRLSY PEOPLE, DID YOU WATCH LAST NITE'S SHOW??? THE FIRST TRACTOR-SEAT-OF-SAFETY HAS ALEXIS' NAME WRITTEN ALL OVER IT!

Ryan: you made it into the Top 12

i am SHOCKED!!!

So, here's a twist, perhaps -- after Ryan tells the semifinalist s/he is safe, s/he who is being roiled by butterflies must sing again...this is a change from previous seasons, when it was the rejectee who had the chance to sing again...to undoubtedly give her/him another chance to use the Idol stage to promote her/his career...

or maybe this is a an Alexis-Grace-only rule, giving voters another chance to hear someone they heard little of in previous weeks?

maybe this bodes well for Ricky Braddy???

Ricky Braddy and Jackie Tohn to the stage (Jackie is gone, but whaddabout Ricky???)

Ryan: Ricky, you are not in the Top 12

Ryan: Jackie, Simon wins, you are also not in the Top 12

Anoop "Dogg" Desai and Michael Sarver to the stage...

Ryan: the person going through to the Top 12 is...Michael

Ryan: ...Anoop heads home

And Rascal Flatts appears on stage to perform "I Don't Want To Be"

Ryan tells us that after 24 million total votes, only 20K separated Michael and Anoop...I guess that's a reminder -- you have to vote for your favorite...

Prediction for the rest of this show and Semifinals Weeks: Danny will make it through tonite, and Anoop is teed up as a "wildcard" finalist...

Oh, this is clever...after Ryan promos the new "American Idol Experience" attraction at Walt Disney World in Orlando -- using a tape of David Cook performing with Carrie Underwood -- he's ready for "the next two contestants"...

wait, why doesn't he name names? Oh, because it's really just Carly Smithson and Michael Johns from last year's finals, here to promote something (which I'm sure has nothing to do with the "American Idol Experience" thingy...)

[reminder: if you've forgotten how awesome the Smithson/Johns duet on "The Letter" was during last year's "final results show", please google your youtubes for the video...please -- Eds.]

holy crap! my editors paused the TiVo and inserted the above before I had any idea what these two crazy kids would be doing here! let's listen and decide whether this compares to last year's "original"...also, find that video!...

Incredible, even though I think last year's performance was slightly better...

Also: Joanna Pacitti -- please watch this video and last year's performance again, and write an essay about...your choice of themes...

Ann Marie, stand up...

Brent, stand up...

Stevie, stand up...

Ryan: none of you made it into the Top 12

Ryan: Danny and Tatiana, to the stage...

Ryan: Paula -- who is it?

Paula: Danny

Ryan: after the break...

Ryan: the person going through to the Top 12 is...Danny

Danny sings again, as Tatiana melts in a pile of tears...

To recap: Alexis Grace, Danny Gokey, and Michael Sarver made it through to the Top 12, with 4th place vote-getter Annop Desai well-positioned for a wildcard birth...

...until next week [?]

continue reading...

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

This Week In Tonight In American Idol [17 February 2009]

pre-show-ish: Hai! tonite I'm back with a live-ish first-impression blog. We'll see how this works. [We're doing this from a TVR'd recording, but it is still sorta live-ish, we swear! -- Eds.]

First, a little housekeeping...

There are some changes to this year's semifinal format. We have 36 semifinalists this year, instead of the last few years' 24. For each of the next three weeks, 12 semifinalists will compete on Tuesday, and America will vote, and each week the Top Female, the Top Male, and the next-highest vote-getter (regardless of gender) will advance to the finals. The judges also will be able to advance three "wildcard" contestants to the finals.

Tonite, we begin the first round-of-12-semifinalists. We are two hours tonite...LIVE!!!
8:03: Advice from the judges...blah, blah, blah, in it to win it...blah, blah, blah...bring it...

8:05: Only Simon gets it right -- for the next three weeks, only 25% of the contestants know they will get through...unlike in recent years, when *most* contestants knew they were safe each week...

8:06: Our theme tonite -- hits from the Billboard Hot 100 "since the charts began"...which means the Idols can sing basically any pop song they want from the last 60 years, but which also obviously means we'll have the usual mix of 60's and...er...70's "standards" tonite...

8:07: Our first 12 semis: Jackie Tohn, Ricky Braddy, Alexis Grace, Brent Keith, Stevie Wright, Anoop Desai, Casey Carlson, Michael Sarver, Ann Marie Boskovich, Stephen Fowler, Tatiana Del Toro, and Danny Gokey...

Wow! This is actually a very talented group! Many of these people are going home tomorrow...bummer...

8:07: First up is "Miss Personality" Jackie Tohn...singing Elvis' "A Little Less Conversation"...

...and she turns it into a Kansas City Ramada lounge song...

NO

"folks, don't forget to try the fish..."

also, doing herself no favors with the pants and the shoes...

I won't bother to recap the judges' opinions, cuz I'd be here forever...for the semis, I'll just give my insta-reactions...

gimme a break -- it's been a year since i did this...

8:10: BTW, Simon completely agrees with me...

8:12: Oh great -- three weeks of Ryan asking the families "how did the apple of your eye do? how mean was simon?"

sigh...

8:18: next up is Ricky Braddy...obviously, the intro order will be tonite's performance order...

he sings "A Song For You" by Leon Russell...

damn, this is good...

okay, this is really good...

all the judges agree, but Simon wonders whether he has "any star quality"...

8:22: Yep, here's the family again...this is how we'll fill two hours for the next three weeks...

8:28: All performances this season are available on iTunes. Good call, American Idol...

8:30: Next up: Alexis Grace...one of Idol's many fuschia-haired young moms this season...

...singing "Never Loved A Man" by Aretha Franklin...singing Aretha is almost always a bad choice...let's see how she does...

damn! this is also really quite good...

it will be so hard to "eliminate" nine people tonite...

Simon: best of the three so far..."reminds me of Kelly Clarkson...one to watch..."

8:39: Next up is Brent Keith...and we have our first tape FUBAR of the season? oh, and now the tape is back...

was that Tatiana on the tape?

8:40: Brent is back, and he sings "Hick Town", by Jason Aldean...

this is doing nothing for me...

the judges aren't really digging it either...Brent is in trouble, considering how well Ricky and Alexis have already done...

here come the Bucky Covington comparisons....RUH ROH!

8:44: Brent returns to the couch, and Ryan has already started talking to Brent's wife before Brent even gets there...already, the show has a "going over" feel to it...

8:50: Next up is Stevie Wright...she says she's been wanting to do this "since I was nine years old, when the show began"...

thanks, Stevie, for making me feel REALLY FUCKING OLD!!!

8:51: Stevie is singing "You Belong With Me", by Taylor Swift, another really young artist with whom Stevie connects...

and this is really underwhelming...

NO

Taylor Swift is not a great singer...but Stevie Wright is no Taylor Swift...if you get my drift...

and, SHOCKINGLY!!!, the judges are savaging her...

Simon: "it was terrible...zero chance of you making it through to the next round after that..."

8:55: Next is...Anoop Desai..."Anoop Dogg"...

Anoop is singing "Angel Of Mine" by Monica, which is a terrific song...

okay, this is fantastic...this guy has real potential...he's not Archuleta-esque...he probably needs a new look, but he has the vocal chops...

8:58: Anoop Dogg gets the first Paula Standing-O of the nite!

The judges are not crazy about the song choice, but they all agree he has "it"...if Anoop doesn't make "Top 3" on Wednesday, he's probably a lock as a wildcard...

9:06: Next up is Casey Carlson...Casey's singing "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic" by The Police...

there really are like two tiers tonite...this is "Tier 2"...and that's not where Casey wants to be...

Casey gets the first "karaoke" comment of the nite (from Randy)?...the judges are savaging Casey...Casey gets the first "you're beautiful" comment of the nite (from Paula)?

Simon: "threw it all away..."

and, they're right...

9:17: Next up is "oil rigger" and Ryan's "twin", Michael Sarver...he's singing "I Don't Want To Be" by Gavin DeGraw, which is a much better song than most pop critics give it credit for...

okay, when did Rascal Flatts vocalist Gary LeVox substitute himself in this competition for Michael? man, is this weak...

[LeVox is alright, but this IS weak -- Eds.]

the judges agree it was not a good choice, but they all agree they like him and would like to see him continue...

9:23: Next up: Ann Marie Boskovich, a "demo singer" (oh noes! another ringer!!!)...

she's singing "Natural Woman" from Aretha...please scroll back up...

it's "demo singer"-worthy, which puts it around the bottom...WHOA! what was that note?...the VERY bottom of Tier 1...

or maybe the top of Tier 2

OH, WHOA! AGAIN???

TIER 2!!!

top or middle?

PAULA ABDUL OUT-OF-IT SCALE WATCH: Paula thinks this is Ann Marie's best performance...discuss...

Simon: ruined your one chance...sorry...

9:34: Next up: Stephen Fowler, who's had some trouble remembering his lyrics...tonight, he will try to remember the lyrics to "Rock With You", by Michael Jackson...

okay, this is the "bottom Tier 1 slash top Tier 2" performance...

did AI producers deliberately give us 3 good performers every week, and 1 maybe-good performer each week, so there'd be an obvious Top 12?

the judges are not happy with this...

Simon: i wish you HAD forgotten the lyrics...corny...

[even Randy agrees with "corny"...]

9:44: Next up: everyone's "favorite" contestant, Tatiana Del Toro...

Tatiana, who has obviously won the Nobel Prize multiple times, thinks it would be a great idea to sing Whitney tonite...i'm not sure "which Whitney song?" is a question on which we should waste our time, but the answer is: "Saving All My Love For You"

i'd call this a passable wedding-band performance, but i suspect this is the end -- HOLY SHIT! what was that note?

THIS IS THE END OF THE LINE FOR TATIANA!!!

FUCKING FINALLY!!!

and Randy is giving her props for "moments"...and Kara says "moments"...Paula and her meds can't wait for this show to be over -- she uses the word "beautiful" twice -- but not in reference to Tatiana's looks...Simon doesn't know what to make of her...

HOLY FUCKING SHIT -- SHE'S MAKING IT THROUGH, ISN'T SHE???

9:56: Last up tonite, and I hope they hit their mark, because I have this on DVR, is Danny Gokey...

seriously, "Hero", by Mariah??? seriously???

okay, here's the fourth member of Tier 1

yeah, that was good

both Paula and Kara give "Standing O"-s to this...

* * * * *

DHMBIB's quick insta-analysis coming in a few minutes...

* * * * *

Okay, let's remember the new rules this year: the Top (vote-getting) Female, the Top (vote-getting Male), and the next-highest vote-getter advance...and the judges will select three wildcard contestants from all three weeks...

Here is DHMBIB's insta-analysis from Semifinals Week 1 (asterisk indicates "should advance"; double-asterisk indicates "should be wildcard-worthy"):

1) Alexis Grace* -- far and away the best female performance of the nite, and on reflection the best overall performance of the nite
2) Anoop Desai* -- better than the judges gave him credit for
3) Danny Gokey*
4) Ricky Braddy**

[huge gap here]

[pick a name out of the hat -- does it matter?? -- Eds.]

5) Stephen Fowler
6) Tatiana Del Toro
7) Ann Marie Boskovich
8) Michael Sarver
9) Brent Keith
10) Jackie Tohn
11) Casey Carlson
12) Stevie Wright

* * * * *

after-show-ish: voting may or may not be closed in all time zones, but DialIdol is predicting this:

Women:

1) Alexis Grace

[no other woman is remotely even close...if you saw the show, you're not surprised to read that...]

Men:

1) Danny Gokey [safe]
2) Michael Sarver
3-5) Annop Desai; Ricky Braddy; Brent Keith [too close to call]
6) Stephen Fowler [gone]

* * * * *

"see" you tomorrow...

continue reading...

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Grammy 2009: Some Predictions

It's Grammy nite, 2009, and I'm back again with a few predictions. Even though some of the "early" awards have already been announced, I swear I've been ignoring the news reports. So if this post "predicts" awards that have already been announced, I swear I'm not cheating.

Let's make a few wild-ass-guess predictions, after the jump...

For Grammy 2008, I made 22 predictions, and based on my scoring method, I racked up only 12.5 points. Ugh. Let's do better this year, even though this year is much more challenging.

(I'll score myself this way: 1 point for a correct prediction; 0.5 points for a "should win" or "dark horse" prediction that hits)

(For the full list of nominees see this)

(Also, if you're looking for a cool liveblog of tonite's events, try the only other music blog that matters, Idolator)

* * * * *

1) Record Of The Year
(Award to the Artist and to the Producer(s), Recording Engineer(s) and/or Mixer(s), if other than the artist.)

* Chasing Pavements, Adele

* Viva La Vida, Coldplay

* Bleeding Love, Leona Lewis (Simon Cowell, Clive Davis & Ryan "Alias" Tedder, producers; Craig Durrance, Phil Tan & Ryan "Alias" Tedder, engineers/mixers)

* Paper Planes, M.I.A

* Please Read The Letter, Robert Plant & Alison Krauss

As far as I can tell, this is American Idol judge Simon Cowell's first year of Grammy nomination. And, in case you're wondering, Clive Davis has won only three Grammys, which is actually a surprise to me.

This is a very tough category. Plant/Krauss will take home lots of hardware tonite, but probably not in this category. I think better bets are Coldplay (who will also take home lots of hardware) or Leona Lewis.

Prediction: "Bleeding Love"
Dark Horse: "Viva La Vida"

2) Album Of The Year
(Award to the Artist(s) and to the Album Producer(s), Recording Engineer(s)/Mixer(s) & Mastering Engineer(s), if other than the artist.)

* Viva La Vida Or Death And All His Friends, Coldplay

* Tha Carter III, Lil Wayne

* Year Of The Gentleman, Ne-Yo

* Raising Sand, Robert Plant & Alison Krauss

* In Rainbows, Radiohead

All of these albums are worthy of this award. I had Lil Wayne as my "number one album of 2008", and Ne-Yo was my "number four". Plant/Krauss made my 2007 Top 10, but it's eligible here because it was released three weeks into the eligibility year.

Regardless of each of these albums' worthiness, Plant/Krauss are a solid-platinum lock here.

Prediction: "Raising Sand"
Dark Horse: "Viva La Vida"

3) Song Of The Year
(A Songwriter(s) Award. A song is eligible if it was first released or if it first achieved prominence during the Eligibility Year. (Artist names appear in parentheses.) Singles or Tracks only.)

* American Boy
William Adams, Keith Harris, Josh Lopez, Caleb Speir, John Stephens, Estelle Swaray & Kanye West, songwriters (Estelle Featuring Kanye West)
Track from: Shine
[Atlantic/Homeschool; Publishers: Will.I.Am Music/Cherry River Music/Chrysalis Publishing/John Legend Publishing/Cherry River Music/Please Gimme My Publishing/EMI Blackwood Music/Larry Leron Music/Speir Music/Broke, Spoke and Gone Publishing]

* Chasing Pavements
Adele Adkins & Eg White, songwriters (Adele)
Track from: 19
[XL Recordings/Columbia; Publishers: Universal-Songs of Polygram Int.]

* I'm Yours
Jason Mraz, songwriter (Jason Mraz)
Track from: We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things.
[Atlantic; Publisher: Goo Eyed Music]

* Love Song
Sara Bareilles, songwriter (Sara Bareilles)
Track from: Little Voice
[Epic; Publisher: Tiny Bear Music]

* Viva La Vida
Guy Berryman, Jonny Buckland, Will Champion & Chris Martin, songwriters (Coldplay)
Track from: Viva La Vida Or Death And All His Friends
[Capitol Records; Publishers: Universal Music-MGB Songs]

I have no clue. None of these "songs" are far and away better than the others.

Prediction: "Chasing Pavements"
Dark Horse: "Viva La Vida"

4) Best New Artist
(For a new artist who releases, during the Eligibility Year, the first recording which establishes the public identity of that artist.)

* Adele

* Duffy

* Jonas Brothers

* Lady Antebellum

* Jazmine Sullivan

Another very tough category. All are worthy, but none are head-and-shoulders above the others.

Adele and Duffy -- aren't they the same person? The Jonas Brothers -- my niece likes them. Lady Antebellum -- aren't they a country group?; must be why I've never heard their music. Jazmine Sullivan -- sorry, her R&B does nothing for me.

Prediction: Adele
Dark Horse: The Jonas Brothers

LOW-HANGING FRUIT

This category includes predictions I am guaranteed* to get right, mostly because the nominees made it to the Big Four.

(*guarantee not valid in any state -- Eds.)

5) Best Rock Album

Prediction: "Viva La Vida Or Death And All His Friends"

You don't need to know who the other nominees are. Only Coldplay made it to the AOTY category.

6) Best Alternative Music Album

Prediction: "In Rainbows"

See above, and this is the last time I'll write this.

7) Best Contemporary R&B Album

Prediction: "Year Of The Gentleman"

8) Best Rap Album

Prediction: "Tha Carter III"

9) Best Contemporary Folk/Americana Album

Prediction: "Raising Sand"

10) Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals

"Viva La Vida"

NOT QUITE LOW-HANGING FRUIT

This category includes predictions that are contested, but make it to the Big Four.

11) Best Female Pop Vocal Performance

Prediction: "Bleeding Love"
Dark Horse: "Chasing Pavements"

12) Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals

Prediction: "Viva La Vida"

13) Best Rap/Sung Collaboration

Prediction: "American Boy"

RANDOM PICKS

14) Best Short Form Music Video

Prediction: "Pork And Beans"

15) Producer Of The Year, Non-Classical

Prediction: will.i.am
Dark Horse: Rick Rubin

16) Best Remixed Recording, Non-Classical

Prediction: "Closer"
Dark Horse: "4 Minutes"

17) Best Female Pop Vocal Performance

Prediction: "Bleeding Love"
Dark Horse: "Chasing Pavements"

18) Best Male Pop Vocal Performance

Prediction: "Closer"
Dark Horse: "I'm Yours"

* * * * *

Okay, it's 7PM EST, and some of the early winners have already been announced. I can't really go any further without looking like I'm cheating, so I'll stop with these predictions. I'll be back later to score myself.

-- DHMBIB

continue reading...

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

This Week In Tonight In American Idol [20 May 2008]

7:58 PM: Top 2 Week -- THE FINALS -- is here. FINALLY!

We'll be live-ish blogging here tonite, but, as always, if you want a PROFESSIONAL liveblog, you should visit Maura here.

They've switched up the format this year, it seems. Davidx2 will sing three songs tonite, but apparently for the first time ever, Cookie is being giving a pass on singing a song he's already sung this season. Stay tuned...

8:01 PM: That funny-ten-years-ago-but-annoying-now boxing announcer guy, Michael "Let's Get Ready To Rumblllllllllllllle!" Buffer, introduces our two finalists, who come out dressed as boxers.

My money's on Cookie.

8:05 PM: Oh, fabulous -- Ryan is keeping the whole "title fight between undefeateds" meme going.

8:08 PM: LickyLoo won the coin toss and will go second, because Dadager told him to. Sigh...

Cookie is rocking the trimmed facial hair tonite. Not making any pretentions about "who he is".

8:10 PM: Advice from the judges? Leave it all on the stage blah blah blah...

8:11 PM: Davids with some nice words for each other...

LickyLoo: this guy's awesome!

Cookie: you've just been one of the consistently nice people...as far as I'm concerned, the competition's over...we're just havin' fun...

8:14 PM: I'm really WAY over the boxing metaphors...

Cookie is up first with his song choice -- "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For", by U2.

This is the first time a U2 song has been cleared for AI. This has fueled speculation today that Bono will be "the biggest star in the world" guest on tomorrow's results show.

Cookie nuDaughtry's this very well, and, yes, makes it his own. That was a great performance.

Ruh-roh! Randy's been drinking from Paula's cup. he calls this "The Duel Of 2007"...

Randy: i'm gonna call you "DC" 'cuz we're "boyz" at this point...i don't think you did everything you could with that, but i loved that scoop-up at the end..that was hot, baby, HOT!!!
Paula: you may not have found what you're looking for, but we have found david cook...david cook has ARRIVED! you're in great voice...
Simon: i thought it was phenomenal...

I think Randy is in the tank for LickyLoo...

8:19 PM: LickyLoo is up next with "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me", by Elton John.

It's a predictable choice, especially given last week's poor stage performance during the modern "With You".

Wait -- I've seen and heard this before...

Oh yeah! -- it's the same GD performance he gives EVERY GD TIME!!!

I say: LickyLoo has no career ahead of him. He has no stage presence whatsoever. No future on the radio. No future on Broadway. A decent selling first album -- "decent" in this environment meaning maybe platinum -- maybe -- but that's it.

But, of course, Randy is in the tank for him already...

Randy: one of the best performances of the season...picked the right time to peak...FLAWLESS!!! MOLTEN HOT!!!
Paula: my heart's still pounding [from the meds??? -- Ed.]...chills up and down my arms [from -- oh, never mind -- Ed.]...the sun is never gonna go down on you...beautiful, sunny, sunny performance...
Simon: i thought last week you were "okay"...i thought tonite's performance was arguably the best you've done so far...

Simon: Round 1 goes to archuleta...

8:27 PM: Round 2 has the contestants tackling their choice of the entrants in the Idol songwriters' contest. For the first time -- not counting Taylor Hicks' revolt in Season 5 -- there is no "common" coronation song. The Idols got to choose which one they wanted to perform.

Cookie is up first, and he's singing a song called "Dream Big" by You.

Cookie's also brought the guitar out. I was skeptical about the decision to allow the Idols to play instruments during their performances, but I've come to enjoy it, and it's probably helped some Idols -- Brooke and Jason, I'm looking at you! -- get further than they should have.

This is song is very Journey-reunion-tastic, but Cookie is rocking the shite out of it!

Randy: the song was just okay for me, but what really made it work for me was you were singing you're face off!
Paula: you took a song that we don't know and made us fall in love with it...
Simon: using the boxing analogy, it was a bit of a lightweight...

Okay, so Simon is in the tank for Archie, too???

Simon: ...i thought the end was okay...bearing in mind, this is supposed to be a winning song, it didn't feel like a winning moment for me...

Audience boos...

The only way LickyLoo can lose this if every other eliminated contestants' fans have gone over to Cookie...

8:37 PM: Up next is LickyLoo, who of course has chosen the very-Idol-tastically-titled "In This Moment".

Of COURSE he's going to win.

Wait, I've heard this before...

(Sigh...)

Randy: wasn't crazy about the song...[and then Randy trots out the "in the zone...you could sing the phonebook" "critique"]...
Paula: on fire tonite...
Simon: you definitely chose the better song...in keeping with the nite...Round 2 goes to archuleta...

8:45 PM: Ryan says Randy and Paula say "it's too close to call"...

Wait -- this is the "singer's choice" round? Like Clive chose a U2 song for Cookie?

Anyways, Cookie says he'll be taking on The World I Know", by Collective Soul. Cookie says he's never sung this before, which is a...fib...because he was supposed to sing this last week before he switched up to sing Switchfoot's "Dare You To Move". In other words, he thought he was safe last week, and he wanted to save this song to go "out" on...

Okay, fibber, or not, that was a great performance. Now, Cookie -- HE has a career ahead of him...

David is very emotional...he gets a "standing O" from the audience.

Randy: very nice job...
Paula: you're standing in your truth...i applaud you...["standing O" from Paula]
Simon: i want to say publicly that you are actually one of the nicest, most sincere contestants we've had...it was a beautiful song, but it was completely and utterly the wrong song choice for you tonite...you should've sung "Billie Jean" or "Hello"...

8:55 PM: LickyLoo finishes up the nite with a reprise of "Imagine" by John Lennon.

And after the "we're sorry, we're so, so sorry" speeches the judges just gave Cookie, LickyLoo can't lose this competition unless possibly he decides to sing the verse about imaging there's no Heaven or Hell.

And...he doesn't sing that verse...

America, here's you're new American Idol -- DAVID ARCHULETA!!!

Randy goes off script and practically announces that the producers have manipulated the contest into a Archuleta-Cook final...

Randy: we thought all season it would come down to this...you are exactly what this show is about -- finding the best singer we can find, AND THE BEST SINGER OF SEASON SEVEN IS RIGHT THERE!!!
Paula: you've left me speechless...you were stunning tonite...
Simon: tonite, we've witnessed one of the great finals...tonite, you came out to win, and what we have witnessed is "a knockout"...

(groan...)

* * * * *

INSTA-REACTION:

David Archuleta has won. I don't see any way he can lose.

David, don't forget to ask Taylor Hicks and Ruben Studdard how it felt to them, too.

* * * * *

9:00 PM: Hai! Look! There's Ruben right there, singing this year's "yer outta here" song, "Celebrate Me Home". David -- you can ask him about "winning" the show in just, like, 2 MINUTES!!!

continue reading...

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

This Week In Tonight In American Idol [13 May 2008]

7:58 PM: Oh, hai!

Top 3 Week is here.

In case you might be glued to a cable news channel right about now, don't bother (depending on your leanings) -- Senator Clinton is projected as a 2-1 winner based on exit polls.

8:02 PM: Ryan says this is "the closest race this show has ever seen".

Wait, which race is he talking about???

8:03 PM: In case you'd rather read a "real" liveblog, try this...

I promise I WON'T check it out until after the show...So you can read an unadulterated, uninformed liveblog...

Because I love you all THAT MUCH!!!!!!1!1one!1

8:05 PM: Top 3 Week has the Idols going home for a victory lap in their hometowns. And also, they all sing 3 songs this week: a judge's choice, a producers' choice, and a personal choice.

First up: Lickey-Lips.

Ruh-roh!!!!!

Lickey-Lips is first singing Paula's choice -- "And So it Goes", by Billy Joel.

It starts as an acoustic performance, and here come the strings and piano.

Appropriately sappy. But I have to confess -- pretty good.

Oh, Banned Archuleta is IN THE HOUSE, DAWG!

Randy: Paula chose a dope song for you...you can sing anything...i would've liked to have seen you seen you playing the piano...but it doesn't matter...you are in the zone! you are in it to win it!!!
Paula: it was a pure and sunny performance...tonite, i thought you were a storyteller...i it was a beautiful performance...
Simon: it was very good...no surprises...a bit predictable...it was good -- i don't think it was outstanding...anyway, good...

8:11 PM: Next up is Broadway Grrrl.

Is Randy in fatigues tonite???

Randy has chosen "If I Ain't Got You", by Alicia Keys.

This is fraught with land mines for Syesha.

Okay, FULL DISCLOSURE...I have been on the Syesha bandwagon for a while now, but that was FREAKIN' AWESOME!

very nice job...

Randy: an amazing job...you are peaking at the right time in this competition...
Paula: difficult to do a song that's so identifiable with such a beautiful artist...you look absolutely stunning...
Simon: you sang that very well...i wish Randy had chosen something where you wouldn't sound so much like the original...overall...and you look gorgeous, BTW...

8:16 PM: Next up -- IN THE PIMP SPOT!!! -- is Nu-Daughtry. Simon has chosen for him "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face", by Roberta Flack.

Simon chose this because he wanted to challenge Nu-Daughtry to do something original with a great song.

Oh SNAP!!!

Okay, this is competent, and maybe DIFFERENT -- but #3 of 3..."Sorry!"

Nu-Daughtry has one style.

Randy: been a fan since day-one...loved the high note at the end, but i wish Simon had picked something less predictable...i want you to rock!...i needed more rock from that...
Paula: it's actually about you!...you're my second favorite person who sings that...
Simon: ...maybe biased, but one of your best performances...this is what makes you brilliant, because you take chances...round one goes to Cook-and-Cowell...

8:25 PM: Looks like we're going to 9:30-ish tonite?

Lickey-Lips returns to perform his own choice, "With You", by Chris Brown.

Wait -- who TF is Chris Brown???

Oh yeah...

Oh golly...

Even Lickey-Lips can make me tired of an inescapable Chris Brown track...

But kudos to Lickey-Lips for singing something that is not on the victrola playlists of tonite's W.Va. primary voters...

Not bad...

Randy; ...i applaud that you are trying out something new and young...not sure it was the right song for you...
Paula: ...perfect...right tone for your voice...great job...
Simon: ...applaud you that you didn't do a shrieky ballad...like a chihuahua trying to be a tiger...it's not really you...all a little bit awkward...

[Randy agrees]

Randy: ...not really you...

8:31 PM: Next up is Broadway-Grrrl. Her personal choice is "Fever", a 50-year-old Broadway standard covered by Madonna, among others...

Oh, there's that word -- "Broadway" -- again...

Those of you who had Syesha in your "elimination pool" tonite, are you still confident in your pick???

That was solid, baby!

Randy: "a very, very, interesting song choice"...but you sang it amazingly, amazingly well...a great performance...
Paula: ...i'm surprised you picked this song...i'm surprised you picked this song, but i'm not sure it shows me who Syesha is as an artist...
Simon: ...i think you probably will regret that decision tomorrow...because you had a chance to prove that you are a contemporary recording artist...instead, you did quite a lame cabaret performance...

8:40 PM: Nu-Daughtry returns with his personal choice, "Dare You To Move", by "religious" rockers Switchfoot.

Is Nu-Daughtry becoming the new Nu-Smithson? Technically fine, but nothing to write home about???

That was just "meh" for me...

Is Scott Stapp quietly chuckling right now?

(Yes, I know Scott Stapp had nothing to do with Switchfoot...I don't need your "Dear Shit Fer Brains" letters-to-the-editor about that...)

ZOMG!!! Does that sign actually say: "Cougars 4 Cook"???

Isn't that one of the signs of the Apocalypse???

Randy: ...performance-wise, wasn't your best tonite...a little pitchy...
Paula: ...hard to get a long song in to 90-seconds...just got into it at the end of the song...
Simon: pretty much what i would've expected...all three of you had an okay middle round...one more round to go...

8:43 PM: Lickey-Lips is back with the producers' choice, "Longer", by Dan Fogelberg.

You don't know how much it just hurt me to type that...

Technically perfect, but obviously boring.

Randy: interesting song choice blah blah sing the phone book blah blah in the zone blah blah another hot one from you blah blah
Paula: lovely performance blah blah
Simon: sang the song very well blah blah but the song and the lyrics blah blah good enough to make it through to next week blah blah

[even the judges are tired of carrying Lythgoe's Archuleta-pail-of-water at this point...]

8:52 PM: Broadway Grrrl is back with her producers' choice, "Hit Me Up", by Gia Farrell, from the Happy Feet soundtrack. Never heard of it? Yeah, well, maybe they want her gone...

Sigh...

Actually, I thought that was pretty good...

Randy: Rihanna-esque...just "a'ight" for me...
Paula: liked it, but don't know if it's the type of song that defines you as Syesha-the-artist...don't know if it's enough to get you into the final...
Simon: ...better than the second song...you had your best moment with the Sam Cooke song last week...

THANK YOU!!!

I called Syesha's performance of "A Change Is Gonna Come" last week maybe the best of the season, and people laughed at me...

hmmmmph!

8:58 PM: Last up tonite is Nu-Daughtry, who is taking on one of the most hack-tacular songs of modern movie-pop music -- "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing", performed by Aerosmith and written by Diane Warren.

It's an Aerosmith-worthy performance.

Paula gives the performance one of her standing-O seal-clap responses...

Randy: ...okay for me...very predictable...
Paula: ...where the beginning and the middle and the end is...great performance...SEE YA IN THE FINALS!!!

ZOMG: Diane Warren is in DA HOUSE tonite!!!

Simon: ...one of the great songs of all times...I have to tell you, David Cook wins the nite!!!

okay, so the judges are TOTALLY in the tank AGAINST Syesha...

HRRMRMRMRMPPHPHPHP!!!!!!!!!!!1111one!!111

* * * * *

EARLY NEXT MORNING UPDATE:

The AI "polls" were open for four hours last nite, so the DialIdol numbers weren't "final" until not long before I write this.

If you've been following along, you won't be surprised by the results:

1) David Cook
2) David Archuleta
3) Syesha Mercado ("red light"; predicted to be voted off)

Sigh...

It's too bad, really, for so many reasons. This whole thing has felt "fixed" from the start. And I thought Syesha actually had the best nite last nite!

Sigh...

continue reading...