Welcome to the debut of a new occasional feature at DHMBIB. When I decide to put one together, a post in "This Week In..." will usually feature someone who has been in the news a lot recently or for some unknown reason is appearing in photos everywhere.
As Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears are all charter members of the DHMBIB:TWI... Hall Of Fame, I'm really unlikely to make them subjects of this feature.
For my inaugural post, I present...This Week In Jessica Biel [whoa!]
* Insert your own lame-ass "Golden Globes" joke here:
Jessica Biel likes Maria Menounos's ass.
* Insert another lame-ass "Golden Globes" joke here:
Apparently, Esquire Mag's editors and JT are not the only people who think Jessie is the "Sexiest Woman Alive". Or maybe Diddy just likes him to stare at some boobies.
* So maybe that explains why Derek Jeter was nowhere in sight and JT was trying to pick up Jessie's "Golden Globes":
You may have noticed who was falling down on his job of being the exclusive looker-atter for Jessie's delicious form at Monday's "Golden Globes" -- Derek Jeter, who has been dating Jessie for a couple of months, and with whom he spent New Year's in Puerto Rico [yeah, that woulda been just two weeks earlier...]:
Hmmm. So, consider this item from Friday's installment of Ted Casablanca's "The Awful Truth":
"Raisin' eyebrows elsewhere was Jessica Biel, rumored g-f of Derek Jeter and Esquire's 2005 Sexiest Woman Alive, erasing all memories of her squeaky-clean 7th Heaven days. Jess-babe picked out a pair of remote-controlled vibrating panties along with some other stroke-ready toys from Booty Parlor at the Kari Feinstein Style Lounge in the Hollywood Hills. Now, go tell that to the pulpit set!"
Maybe Jessie was picking up these? [technically SFW, but I wouldn't risk it if I were you...] Who's the lucky son-of-a-gun who gets to "use the remote"???
Saturday, January 20, 2007
This Week In Jessica Biel
Thursday, January 18, 2007
If This Is What "Seventh Heaven" Is Like, I'm Ready To Die!!!
Did ya catch Jessica Biel at the Golden Globes the other night?
Two words: Gor. Geous.
She'll be a superstar some day. Write it down. [Thanks to Egotastic for the photo.]
We at DHMBIB are not the only ones who <3 Jessie. Justin Timberlake was spied chatting up JB at a Golden Globes after party -- by CAMERON DIAZ!!! Cam reportedly screamed at Jessie, who by now has got to be thinking, "What is all this shit??? First, Lindsay Lohan was all up in my grill for hiring her former assistant, and for being a glamorous and successful actress and stuff. Now LiLo's new BFF Cam is all up in my grill for showing JT why I'm Esquire Mag's 'Sexiest Woman Alive'."
So, how can the broken-hearted fashion-disastered Cam get back at Jessie? Is she responsible for digging this up?:
Oops!
