Dear Faithful Readers:
Due to a scheduling conflict, I will not be around to watch tonite's results show. So, I won't be liveblogging it -- but that's really okay, because liveblogging the commercial-and-filler-filled results show is not very fun to do -- and the results aren't very fun to read. I will catch a replay of the show after the fact, and I'll probably post some thoughts later this evening.
I also plan to update my liveblog from last nite, so you may find it interesting to skim back through that later -- or, not.
Speaking of the performance show, when I told Faithful Reader and Dear Sister KM that I would be having dinner with friends, she thought that meant I would miss the show. So she graciously wrote up a report [an after-the-fact report, not a "liveblog" -- Ed.] of the festivities and passed it along with permission to reprint it here.
My sister has long been a huge fan of the music of the Brothers Gibb -- hey, shouldn't they actually be called the "Bees Gee"??? [we can actually remember a time when radio DJs thought that joke was funny -- Ed.] -- so her report is very thorough and knowledgeable and slightly less half-assed than mine.
Enjoy the sweetness after the jump...It's Top 4 night, three ladies, one man. (Wow, Blake is SHORT. Of course, he's standing next to Jordin, who's like 10 feet tall or something.) Ryan's in black suit, white shirt, skinny black tie. It's a good look for him. THIS is American Idol.
We meet the judges. Paula's the only one into the theme of tonight, wearing a feminine version of the Travolta white suit and black shirt, and a gazillion pearls. Seriously. I counted. Randy's in blue; Simon's in a white v-neck T-shirt. Put on your real shirt next time, for God's sake, Simon.
The schedule is tight tonight, Ryan says, and for once he's not exaggerating. We're almost at the three minute mark and we haven't even gotten to the intro of the mentor yet.
Our mentor tonight is Barry Gibb, founder of the Bee Gees, member of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Songwriter's Hall of Fame, producer of about a gazillion diva singers' albums (Diana Ross/Barbra Streisand/Celine Dion are the three named; I can think of a few more), and--according to BILLBOARD--the most successful songwriter/producer ever. (What most people don't know is that the Gibb brothers surpassed Lennon/McCartney several years back as the songwriters with the most #1 songs on the Billboard Hot 100, and Barry alone topped L/M for most songs in a single Billboard Hot 100 Top Ten back in 1978, so for once TPTB aren't exaggerating in their intro piece.) We come from the past into the present with Barry Gibb leading Melinda/LaKisha/Jordin/Blake through "How Deep Is Your Love". Hey, anybody remember Blake doing the arrangement for his Hollywood group sing to "How Deep Is Your Love"? Remember how completely awesome that was? Remember that Blake's the only one of those guys left standing now? You will, because NOTHING like that's going to happen tonight.
Mentor introduction interview: Barry's had problems with his jaw in recent years, so he speaks very softly and sounds like Sean Connery with clenched teeth. That said, there's absolutely nothing wrong with his singing voice; he can still hit all those falsetto notes and all the mid-baritone notes as well. And he looks good for a guy in his 60s. He's excited about these contestants doing his music, and you can tell that he actually is excited...but he also looks a little nervous. (Justifiably so, as we'll see later.) Back in rehearsal-land, the group finishes "How Deep Is Your Love", and he praises them all. "Want to form a group?" he offers. (Now that's not necessarily a bad idea. They really do sound good together.)
Melinda's up first. She's doing "Love You Inside Out". LaToya did this in AI3, and I didn't like it then. Barry Gibb is skeptical, especially because the song is written for a man's falsetto, and Barry Gibb's falsetto is so high that a woman has to at least be able to get into the low-soprano range to match. That's not Melinda's strength, and Barry's advice is to "remember that I sound like a woman when I sing."
Performance: It's not bad. It's a little jazzy. It's kind of funky in a good way. It's also kind of funky in a bad way. I can't listen to this song without remembering that the original lyrics, according to the late, great Maurice Gibb, were "Love you inside and out/Backwards and forwards with my cock hanging out..." Seriously, listen to the recorded version sometime. If you wonder why the word "heart" sounds so much like "hot" or "hock" in some of the chorus renditions, it's because Maurice was being naughty on practically every take.
What was that? How did Melinda do? Sorry, I got distracted. That's because, even though her voice is nice, she sounds incredibly dull, and she's taken the key down because she can't hit the falsetto notes. Somewhere, Maurice Gibb is spinning in his grave. AI needs to bury this song and take it out of the rotation; Idol contestants are now 0-2 singing it.
Judges: Randy really hates it, and you can tell because he's trying so hard not to tell The Great Melinda that he hates it. Paula falls back on the "hard to judge" excuse before she finally says that she didn't like it. Simon declares that it was "more like a backing vocalist's performance" and hated it. Ryan cuts off his comments, which really makes Simon mad. You can tell because he takes it out on the next contestant every time he gets cut off.
Next up: Blake, who takes on "You Should Be Dancing". He plans to beatbox part of it, like last week. Barry Gibb approves wholeheartedly. This SHOULD be right in Blake's wheelhouse...
Performance: ...except that once again, Barry Gibb's falsetto is REALLY, REALLY good and REALLY, REALLY hard for a guy not used to singing falsetto to hit properly, as Blake proves fairly quickly. Barry Gibb has a remarkable voice range and his falsetto is as strong as most singers' normal range voices. This is where the problem lies tonight, because Blake's falsetto is not strong AT ALL, and none of the other contestants, with the exception of MAYBE Jordin, can hit the notes with enough power to not lose their pitch. Blake especially has this problem--he's about a half-step flat on virtually every note, and getting outsung by the backing vocals. When he breaks into the beatboxing, this should be his home-run swing, but it's not: Some of the beatboxing is behind the beat, and he's STILL off-pitch. Then, remarkably, about halfway through the beatboxing bridge, he finally gets on beat and comes on pitch. But it doesn't last, and this performance is just really embarrassing.
Judges: Randy hated the beatboxing and practically begs him not to do it ever again. Paula thought his pitch was off, which is like saying the Titanic may have gotten off-course when it hit the iceberg. Simon said it was "unique" and "terrible", and he's absolutely right on both counts.
Ryan says you can "Tex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ext" the vote in a beatbox rhythm. Scarily, it's better than Blake's BB so far.
Next, LaKisha is taking on "Staying Alive". She's slowing the beat down and staying in alto. Barry Gibb isn't wild about the fact that she's staying so low that her voice bottoms out on the chorus. He sings the chorus and his falsetto is still just as beautiful as ever. He tells her not to be afraid to go up and hit the top notes, because he thinks they're in her range. She sings it with him, just to prove that she actually CAN hit the notes, and then says she'll follow his advice...
Performance: ...and then, as usual, completely ignores the mentor's advice, staying fully down in her alto, then bailing out on the singing completely when the melody gets too low, riffing on the chorus while the backing vocalists do all the heavy lifting. This, folks, is absolutely dreadful. She truly sucks. "Staying Alive" has been successfully updated by rappers and R&B singers before, but this just isn't working. The end-of-show rehearsal clip shows that during rehearsal, she tried a little falsetto, but then bailed on it almost immediately, making it sound really bad. She's having throat problems, as we discover later in the show, but nobody's voice at this stage of the competition is at its best, and that's not a good-enough excuse for this performance.
Judges: Randy thought it was way too disjointed when she would stop singing during the chorus. Paula says the crowd was on their feet when she came out, but then she slowed the tempo down, which didn't work: "They want to DANCE!" Simon says it's a good thing they're all singing two songs tonight, because this one was just "terrible" and that she's regressed in her style and is now back to "shouting". Damn, Simon, that was cold-blooded, harsh, and RIGHT ON POINT.
The show goes to commercial. Rob and I exchange a phone call at this point, and we both agree: This first half sucks so far. I remind him that AI2 did Bee Gees night and it went over great, with Josh and Clay doing dueling "To Love Somebody" versions and Ruben getting a good groove on during "How Can You Mend A Broken Heart?" Rob wonders if this is a Barry Gibb vs. Robin Gibb thing--Barry with his mid-range baritone and high falsetto; Robin with his mid-range tenor and lower falsetto--and I disagree. It's true that every song chosen so far is a Barry Gibb song--that is, Barry sang lead--but that doesn't excuse the contestants failing to completely grasp any of the melodies so far. He thinks it's because the songs are 30 years old. I think it's because this is a relatively weak group of contestants and none of them have the right voice ranges for these songs. Again, AI2, Clay Aiken's nearly 2-octave range and Josh Gracin's strong tenor voice had zero trouble, and even 1-octave Ruben found a song that worked for him. The only one who struggled that night was Kim Locke, and that's because she has the same basic limitations as Kiki and Melinda: She's an alto with a weak soprano range and a tendency to bottom out at the lower end of her range. Phil wouldn't have had nearly the issues with tonight's theme. Neither would Haley. Chris Sligh would have rocked it. Heck, even Sanjaya could have found a song in the Gibb Brothers' massive song library. What do all those contestants have in common? They have big voices (except for Sanjaya) and broad ranges. That's what you need to have to carry off a Bee Gees song.
Return to show. Ryan and Jordin in the "Coca-Cola Keepin' It Real" section, with a "question" about how what she's learned so far. Wisely, she does not mention posing erotically at war memorials (SNAP!) or wearing as little clothing as possible onstage (SNAP-SQUARED!).
Jordin's singing "To Love Somebody". This, and "Words", are my two favorite Barry Gibb songs ever. What they both have in common is the blue-eyed soul and a range that goes from mid-falsetto to mid-baritone. And, guess what, Jordin's range is at least close to that. So this song is actually a perfect match for her. Barry looks unsure at first, but eventually comes around, especially when Jordin starts soaring into her upper range. "A couple of hundred people have recorded this song," he says, "but I've never heard a better version than Jordin's."
Performance: Jordin is the first one tonight to get the Gibbs' blue-eyed soul right. The best version of this song I've ever heard recorded was by the Bee Gees in a live concert in 1976 (seriously, get "Here At Last...Bee Gees...Live", and hear these songs when all three brothers were at their finest), with Barry Gibb giving it the Otis Redding treatment. (FWIW, Barry and Robin wrote this song for Otis Redding. He died in a plane crash one day before he was supposed to go into the studio and record it.) The second best was Clay Aiken in AI2, doing his best Barry Gibb impersonation (and I've always felt like Clay should have recorded this for one of his albums; it's that good). This version, by Jordin? The third best.
Judges: Randy loved the Mariah Carey vibe. Paula declares it the best vocal so far. Simon agrees with both judges.
First half is over, and the rankings:
Jordin
(gap)
Melinda
(enormous gap)
Blake
(small gap)
LaKisha
Kiki's in real trouble here, folks. She knows she's on the bubble and needs a real killer performance here, and the only thing she's killed so far is the first song. Blake's not any better, and this is the first real sign of weakness Melinda's shown.
Back for the second half, starting with the Coca-Cola segment, where Ryan asks what the first tape or CD Melinda ever bought for herself was. Melinda says it was a tape and reminds everyone that she's OLD (bad move, MindyDoo), and that it was Michael Jackson's "Bad", which her mom crossed out on the inner liner and wrote "Good" instead. MindyDoo is so adorable.
Melinda's second choice is "How Can You Mend A Broken Heart". This is a song better suited to Melinda's range. Barry doesn't like the fact that she keeps reworking the chorus to remove the part "How can a loser ever win", but Melinda explains that she's trying not to jinx herself with "loser" or words like that. Barry laughs and agrees that's not a bad answer.
Performance: Outstanding. She doesn't sing the "loser" line, and she turns it into a bluesy jazz club tune. Fantastic. Her key change is phenomenal. This is a song with a fairly small range and it's been remade a gazillion times by R&B artists, so it's not hard to get a version of it that practically anybody can sing. That said, she's just amazing.
Judges: Randy loved it. Paula think she's a great throwback but wants her to be less technical and more emotional. Simon notes that Melinda looks like she doesn't understand a word of that. Then he tells her that the second half of the song probably put her into the semi-finals (top 3). I agree that this punched her ticket to next week, but she's in real trouble after that. I think she'll get sabotaged by either Clive Davis, the judges, or both, to make room for Jordin to make the finals instead of her.
Blake's second choice is "This Is Where I Came In", one of the Gibbs' late career songs. I really like this song, and it's one of the last ones the three Gibbs recorded together before Maurice's death. Barry thinks it's a really odd choice, because it's a relatively unknown tune, and notes that he thought it could have been a huge hit when it was first released. "I still do," he continues. "Maybe this version will be the one."
Performance: Blake's boy-banded the backbeat and is doing the argyle sweater look again. He's really getting into it and mixing both great vocals and beatboxing to great effect. Compared to the first song, this is out-freaking-standing.
Judges: Randy liked it better than the first song but thinks it would have been better without beatboxing. Paula likes that Blake is the "contemporary rebel" of the competition and that, more importantly, he stayed on pitch throughout the song. Simon hated the song (because he doesn't know it), thought it was a bad song choice (because he doesn't know it), and thought Blake really stumbled tonight, especially with this song (because he doesn't know it). Sensing a theme here?
Ryan vamps in the audience with Judge Judy (!) and Simon's mother, and pimps the songwriting competition. Thought we were tight on time tonight, Ryan.
LaKisha's second song is "Run To Me". I like "Run To Me" (from the early 70s), but again it's not one of the Bee Gees' better-known tunes (it's from their transition from 60s Brit-Pop to 70's blue-eyed soul, and it's got a little bit of both styles in it). Barry once more tells her to stop hanging around the alto range and actually go up and hit the big notes.
Performance: This time, she listens to Barry and actually does strike some of the higher notes during the chorus and key change. It's miles better than her first one...until the last note, which she totally biffs because she's blown her voice out. Don't worry, KiKi, you're going home tomorrow night anyway, so you'll have time to rest before the tour.
Judges: Randy really liked it and says "Don't worry about that last note". KiKi tries to thank him and her voice really is gone. The words are raspy and hoarse. Paula tells her that she did great and not to beat herself up over the last note. (Translation: Look, audience, LaKisha's blown her voice out! She can't go on! Won't you send her home and let her rest?) Simon puts forth TPTB's official message tonight, which is that "you and Blake are very vulnerable tonight".
Nine minutes to go. Will they make it without missing the upcut to HOUSE?
Back from commercial, and it's Jordin's last go-round. She's doing "Woman In Love". O.K., this is a guaranteed ticket-puncher to next week if she can pull it off. She's already proven she can do this kind of song before with "I Who Have Nothing". Barry Gibb is practically offering to produce her first album for her. She really does sound great in practice.
Performance: Simple, beautiful, rich-voiced. Everybody says never take on Streisand on this show, but actually for a contestant with a range like Jordin's, Streisand is the perfect performer to take on. Babs has MAYBE an 11-note range, so all of her songs are arranged to take maximum advantage of that. This song is actually one of the few Babs songs that pushes her range to its max, and that's why it was such a huge hit in the late 70s--it didn't sound ANYTHING like what Babs had ever done. Jordin, wisely, sticks to the basic arrangement, hits every note beautifully (she does shout a little bit near the end), and just blows everybody out of the water tonight. She's got a real young Mariah Carey look and sound to her tonight, and she's wearing a gorgeous full-length dress with lots of cleavage showing.
Judges: Randy thought it wasn't her best, but it was great, and offers "props to Barry Gibb for a great bunch of songs tonight" (Translation: The Gibbs have 40 years worth of material to choose from and y'all chose THOSE? Damn...). Paula can't bring herself to criticize Jordin, but neither can she form a coherent sentence. Either her happy pills finally kicked in, or she's been told not to praise Jordin to get her some sympathy votes (and either one is possible, frankly). Simon brings out the "pageanty" hammer and the "you're so young but you sound so old" slam to make sure the take-home message is transmitted correctly: "Jordin sang great, right? But the judges hated her! You've got to vote for her en masse!"
Recap. They miss the 2100 EST5EDT upcut, as usual, this time a little over 30 seconds into the recap before they run over. (I'm betting money ABC is already preparing their FCC protest, as they've done this all season long and it cuts into the turn-over rate to DANCING WITH THE STARS. I'm sure that's just a coincidence. Only, not.) The rehearsal clips show Melinda sounded good, Blake sounded a LOT better in rehearsal, KiKi sounded a lot WORSE, and Jordin was excellent.
And then...the show turns awesome. We get our first "Seacrest--OUT!" of the entire season at 2102 EST5EDT. That made the entire evening worthwhile...almost.
My order from first half to second half didn't change, except Jordin's lead over Melinda is bigger. Blake and Kiki will probably be the bottom 2, and it'll be Kiki going home because of Blake probably picking up most of Chris' fans (and some of Phil's, too).
Now, for my biggest bugaboo about tonight's show: SONG CHOICE.
Remember at the beginning of the show, when we learned that Barry Gibb's in the R&R HOF, the Songwriter HOF, most successful songwriter/producer combo ever, etc.? None of those are exaggerations. The Bee Gees catalog from 1975 to 1979 ALONE has enough awesome material in it to fill a half-dozen AI shows. Let's think about what we didn't hear tonight:
-- "Emotion", most recently by Destiny's Child.
-- "Islands In The Stream", Kenny Rogers/Dolly Parton.
-- "If I Can't Have You", Yvonne Elliman, whose range is very similar to Melinda and KiKi's. Ditto "Love Me", also recorded by Elliman.
-- "I Just Want To Be Your Everything", Andy Gibb (written by Barry).
-- "Rest Your Love On Me Awhile", Olivia Newton-John.
-- "More Than A Woman", Tavares
-- "Nights on Broadway", which Ruben--RUBEN!--did in AI2 and Constantine did in AI4, both very well.
-- "How Deep Is Your Love" (though they might be saving that for the group number).
I could list about two dozen more and still not run out of material. Why, in the name of all that is good and holy, didn't they pick one of THESE? Instead, we get one real uptempo tune ("You Should Be Dancing"), two disco dance tunes turned into slow grooves ("Love You Inside Out" and "Stayin' Alive"), and the rest were ballads. BALLADS. Think about this for a minute. You have as your "mentor" the songwriter whose mid-70s catalog virtually DEFINED "disco" (in fact, IIRC, "Jive Talkin'" was the first #1 song on the newly-lauched Billboard Disco chart in 1975), he's giving over his entire catalog to you, and all you can pick are BALLADS? Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot, with a capital "Foxtrot", is going on here?
And finally, a check of DialIdol. DI this season has been more indicative of trends than predictive. Over the past few weeks, Melinda's been sinking loike a rock, Jordin's rising, and Blake is hot on her heels. DI, so far this season, has not had ONE contestant whose MoE kept them in the "safe" range, get voted out. NOT ONE. So, at 0300 EST5EDT DI had this to say:
1. Blake (22.4, MoE 2.6)
2. Jordin (22.2, MoE 2.6)
(Meaning, in essence, they're tied, and so far ahead of the 3-4 spots that neither is in any danger.)
3. Melinda (12.0, MoE 2.7)
4. LaKisha (11.6, MoE 2.8)
(Meaning the judges may indeed get their "shocking elimination" yet this season, because MindyDoo going out in 4th would be huge. We're talking Chris Daughtry huge, people. This is your front-runner and best performer, and she's on the verge of elimination. Wow.)
--Kimberly Murphy -- kimmurphysmith@yahoo.com
http://stores.ebay.com/kimberlyknits-fashion-boutique?refid=store
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Tonight In This Week In American Idol [9 May 2007]
Saturday, May 5, 2007
BREAKING: Area Blogger Having The Best Week Ever [5 April 2007]
DHMBIB is having the Best Week Ever!!! VH1 is planning a new show focused around us and all the love we're getting from the bloggosphere. Full details after the jump.
Okay, so there's no VH1 show about us in the works. But we are having the Best Week Ever, thanks to some love we're getting from two of our favorite blogs.
Last week, Maura Johnston over at Idolator saw something that she thought was interesting in our liveblog of the 24 April edition of American Idol -- she had to read all the way to the bottom to find it, so she's obviously mentally disturbed a big fan -- and used it in her own write-up of the show, giving us our broadest exposure yet:
And earlier this week, we pointed our readers to a sweet post from one of our favorite bloggers, Kelly Ann Collins. KAC caught our post and put this up on her Long Live The Plastics site, which just about made our heads explode:
Please forgive us if our heads are oversized the next time you see us. And remember to give Idolator and Long Live The Plastics plenty of love...
Also, KAC -- our offer still stands...
*****
Bonus "This Is Why We Love Kelly Ann Collins"...here [P.S. we do not endorse the opinions of the Wonkette editors and commenters on this matter -- we actually loved KAC's WaPo LiveOnline piece...and, of course, we love KAC -- Ed.].
Saturday, April 14, 2007
BREAKING: "Fabolous" J.Lo Gets "Right" With Paula, Makes Simon Smile
We recently received this comment on our post about the Wednesday 11 April American Idol results show from faithful reader -- and dear friend -- "KG":
" I, your faithful reader, was in a position to only see last night's show in video, no audio. (Read, I was out and I was allowed to have the TV on AMerican Idol, but voted down in my effort to have the volume on). I noticed that there seemed to be much banter between Jlo and Simon after her performance, in which he was smiling sheepishly, no, rakishly?, at her and she seemed to be flirting with him. I am so disappointed you skipped over that in your play by play and did not tell me what they were saying to each other. I was counting on you!!! KG. "
Reviewing the recording, I see that there is actually no back-and-forth between J.Lo and Simon, but the back-and-forth between J.Lo and Ryan that resulted in Simon's grin set the celebrimedia bloggosphere on fire Friday.
Here's the dialogue:
Ryan: "What did you think about the uh, the judges' feedback last night?"
J.Lo: "Um...[chuckling]...I thought -- you know, I didn't agree with all of it...But um, you know, I thought they all did a really good job. You know, I really do. I guess I come from the Paula school of criticism. You know what I mean? I really do believe in accentuating the positive and concentrating on the rightness brings more rightness, you know? Sorry, Simon [laughing]! Not that we don't need our Simon! Not that we don't need him."
[cut to the judges]
Ryan: "Just in doses."
[cut to Simon, grinning]
Yeah, and???
Friday's Rush & Molloy column in the New York Daily News contained this, which was quickly picked up by lots of other blogs:
" Is Jennifer Lopez still flirting with Scientology? On Wednesday's "American Idol," Ryan Seacrest asked the singer what she thought of the judges' critiques of the contestants.
" Lopez said that, in contrast to the stinging put-downs of Simon Cowell, she believed that "concentrating on the rightness brings more rightness."
" "Rightness" comes up frequently in the lexicon of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. Former OT III-level church member Margery Wakefield writes in "The Language of Scientology" that "rightness" was one of his buzzwords. Among Hubbard's manifestoes: "Rightness and Wrongness" and "Recognition of Rightness of the Being."
" Lopez said recently that, while she was raised as a Catholic, her dad, David Lopez, "has been a Scientologist for 20 years. It's weird people want to paint it in a negative way." She and husband Marc Anthony have also been spending more time with Scientology star couple Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. "
Here at DHMBIB, we've never understood the celbrimedia's obsession with whether any particular celebrity is a Scientologist or not, who Tom Cruise is trying to convert next, et cetera. Especially when the questions are about Jennifer Lopez, who normally does not get anywhere close to our radar screens. But, apparently someone really cares about these things. Good for them.
So, faithful reader "KG", this banter was obviously a coded message between the participants about their after-show plans. Apparently, J.Lo and Paula would be engaging in some hot lesbian Scientologist-on-non-Scientologist sex while Simon and Marc Anthony and Jenna Elfman and Tom Cruise watched and jumped up-and-down on the couch, and while Leah Remini and John Travolta attempted to de-gayify Ryan.
You're welcome.
Jennifer Lopez feat. Fabolous - Get Right [mp3, via YSI]
Jennifer Lopez feat. Fabolous - Get Right [mp3, via zShare]
Saturday, April 7, 2007
Celebrities! They're Just Like Us!: Danica Patrick [7 April 2007]
Saw the above photo in a web ad today and spat my yoo-hoo all over my monitor. It's a virtual dead ringer for my dear friend Penelope:
[I don't really look this good, but the halo effect of having my picture taken with someone who's much better looking than I am makes me look much better -- Ed.]
Alas, the hottie in the web ad is not my dear friend Penelope -- it's actually Indy Racing League driver Danica Patrick, who is the new spokeshottie for internet registrar GoDaddy:
Can't believe I never noticed the resemblence until now. But hey, any excuse to dig up pix of Penelope is fine with me!!!
ciaobaby
Monday, March 12, 2007
Odds & Sods: American Idol Viewers Recall Naked, Drunk Antonella Barba [12 March 2007 Edition]
[image courtesy gambling911.com via celebitchy.com]
* Don't ask us how we came across this photo. Just accept that we did:
We're actually kinda <3'ing this photo of our friend "J" [on the right -- Ed.] and some unidentified friend of hers. We coulda taken this photo -- tho, alas, we didn't.
We suspect J would not be mortified to know this photo was all over the internets. Unlike some other photos of J we've seen recently.
In other news, recently booted American Idol contestant Antonella Barba plans to wait at least a week or two before she accepts Hugh Hefner's offer to take a few more racy photos for Playboy.
* Have you guys heard of this show called The Office?:
[video courtesy comedycentral.com via bestweekever.tv]
We have never actually seen The Office. Yeah, we wrote that. But this video almost makes us want to check it out someday.
* This may be the best headline we have ever read:
"Israel Recalls Naked, Drunk Ambassador". Seriously, we could not make this up.
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
This Week In Antonella Barba [6 March 2007 Edition]
[image courtesy IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com]
[We apologize if you're reading this over dinner, or breakfast, or lunch, or in front of your boss -- Ed.]
I have avoided directly addressing the American Idol / Antonella Barba "racy photo" "controversy" for good reasons, I think. Anyone who's reading this blog surely knows all about it, doesn't need my superfluous snark about it, and has surely seen at least a few of the photos. Also, I didn't have a good "hook" into the "story" that would allow me to avoid looking purvy.
But there are new developments in this "controversy", and I also now have a hook, so it's time for me to write.
Follow me after the jump, and we'll talk about youthful indiscretion, your most "private" moments made "public", and double standards.
The photo above appears to show four college-age girlfriends on Spring Break, goofing for each other -- and a friend with a camera -- while blowing off a little steam before the academic home stretch. It appears to show that, because that's exactly what it is. This photo may be a little racier than anything in my personal private photo album, but it's not particularly shocking or offensive. This photo certainly wouldn't make Joe Francis perk up.
Also, this photo is typical of about half of the Antonella photos -- in the photo above, Antonella is third-from-the-left, or second-from-the-right, depending upon how you look at such things -- that have popped up on the internets. I say "about half", because some of the photos -- the photos showing Antonella alone in multiple "poses" with the same props -- look as if they may have been shot for a portfolio. But we'll get to that later.
But this photo is of special interest to me.
I am reliably informed by multiple independent sources that one of the young women in this photo is someone I know personally [I say "reliably informed" because I think the photographic evidence is a little ambiguous, but I trust my sources]. She is second-from-the-left, to Antonella's right. I won't "name" her here, to protect her "privacy". But for the sake of easy reference, I'll call her "J".
[Any reader who also knows this young woman's identity should refrain from commenting about it. Thank you -- Ed.]
Rob, what's that you say about her "privacy"? She's topless in a picture on the internets???
When Antonella and J -- and the other young women in these photos and in the others -- posed for these photos, they certainly never had any intention -- and probably no thought -- that they would ever end up on the internets and be downloaded thousands of times. I can assure you that J is horrified to see this photo of her out there for any-ole-one to see. I suspect that Antonella feels the same way.
Most of us reading [and writing] this blog are probably saying to ourselves, "I would never do anything like that." And I know a few people of Antonella's age -- and a few a little older, and a few a little younger -- who would probably say that as well. But I think when we say we would never do "that", we're probably thinking something like, "pose for racy pictures on the internets". We're certainly not saying, "I would never be 20 years old".
Most of us, when we were that age, did all kinds of things that completely embarrass us to think about now. We may even have posed for silly photos -- or passed out drunk and had such photos snapped of us anyway. Photos that when we saw them a couple of weeks or ten years later, made us roll our eyes. What's different for Barba and J and the rest of their Gen Y peers is that the ubiquity of digital media -- digital cameras, camera phones, scanners, etc. -- and the rise of "You"-centered narcissistic media -- MySpace, YouTube, flickr, etc. -- has resulted in all of this embarrassing "youthful indiscretion" stuff being repurposed into entertainment for thousands of other strangers. Immediately -- or, if not immediately, very quickly when opportunity struck.
In an age where flickr is the new "shoebox", and 10,000 MySpace friends is the new "10 sorority sisters", your most embarrassing silly private moments are potentially a whole lot more public. But does that make them any less embarrassing or silly? Or any less private for you?
And not surprisingly, the public's interest in this type of "content" rises in proportion to the pseudo-fame of the participants involved. Look at this photo and ask yourself -- if Antonella Barba had not auditioned for American Idol, would you ever have seen this photo???
So, when you see this photo above -- or any number of similar photos out there on the internets -- please keep this in mind. These photos were most likely "private" "friends-only" photos of some friends goofing around. They were never intended to be seen by thousands of people.
And, they're not even very exciting or jaw-dropping.
Which brings us to the solo Antonella photos. And Frenchie Davis.
I'm talking about the photos of Antonella posing in her underwear with a ball, and the photos of Antonella at the World War II Memorial. These photos look like they may have been part of a portfolio [they're not racy enough to be commercially-attractive featuring an unknown Antonella, so they probably weren't intended for immediate sale or consumption].
Even if these photos were part of a portfolio, they appear to have been designed only to land future modeling gigs -- they weren't of themselves commercially viable when taken. But interestingly -- and very importantly? -- the "portfolio" shots are even less racy than the "private" photos [which makes a lot of sense, doesn't it -- they were meant for public consumption]. Sure, we may think Antonella's "desecration" of the World War II Memorial was in poor taste and bad judgment, but -- ahh, to be a 20-year-old model in Washington DC...
There has been much hand-wringing and teeth-gnashing about whether American Idol has exhibited a double standard by not taking any disciplinary action against Antonella, after famously booting Frenchie from AI2 after word leaked that she had posed for an adult web site [how Web 1.0!!!]. AI defenders in some cases have sought to cast the differential treatment in the light of a distinction between Frenchie's "commercial" pornographic activity and Antonella's "private" activity -- a tack both Nigel Lythgoe and Simon Cowell have taken.
Over the last couple of weeks, however, the "American Idol has a double standard" crowd has gotten more vocal. And the battle has become more pitched. On Monday, pro-"AI-has-a-double-standard" and pro-Fenchie supporters announced plans for a protest rally outside the Kodak Theatre, where AI will host its finals. This prompted Rosie O'Donnell to bring up the topic on Tuesday's broadcast of The View, where Rosie sparred with Elizabeth Hasselbeck over the double-standard and called AI's decision-making "racist" and "weightist". Also on Tuesday, news reports surfaced that other female contestants still in the competition are upset about the whole kerfluffle, especially those who consider themselves more "religious" than Antonella. Finally, Frenchie herself is even dropping hints that she's thinking about suing AI over the whole mess.
I actually think both of these cases are very close, and both could have gone either way. I understand and respect AI's decision to boot Frenchie. I also understand and respect AI's decision not to boot Antonella. And my opinions have nothing to do with race, weight, commercialism or any of that.
I think that AI decided to boot Frenchie for the very banal reason that the producers feared the controversy would harm the show. At that time, AI, while a surprise breakout hit, still had a precarious hold over its fickle audience. It was very reasonable for the Idol producers to fear that a "controversy" like this could derail the whole franchise. Three-plus years later, American Idol is the most popular show on television and shows no signs of slowing down anytime soon. It is very reasonable for the Idol producers to assume now that this new controversy will be nothing but a blip in the radar, requiring no action on their part. They might reasonably think that if the public is really offended by this, the public will register that with their votes. The producers might turn out to be wrong, but the assumption is not unreasonable.
In retrospect, I wish we could turn back the clock and have the Idol producers allow the viewers to make the call about Frenchie Davis. We can't do that now, of course, but we can let the viewers make their own decisions about whether Antonella Barba should be the next "American Idol".
And guess what -- she won't be. Her [relative] lack of singing talent will get to her before the courts and judges do. After all, there is a reason why VoteForTheWorst has been pimping her.
But let's keep watching, and see if I'm wrong.
And, as always, feel free to rip me up in the comments.
*****
As a final note, I'd like to note that J herself is a singer and actress. I've had the pleasure of hearing her sing, and I can say unequivocally that she is a *much* better singer than Antonella. I'd be curious to know if J herself tried out for AI? Does anyone know???
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
META: Area Music Blogger Gazes Into Navel With Rose-Colored Glasses, Sees Rose-Colored Lint
This is left over from the end-of-the-year holiday crush, but I'm still over the moon about the whole thing.
Like lots of bloggers, I'm always interested to know if anyone out there is actually reading my precious ramblings, or even gives two shits about them. I admit to occasionally doing a Technorati search to see if any other blogs are linking to me [currently, sadly, only my MySpace blog links over here]. And I'm always scanning through my blog to look for any comments that have appeared since my last visit. [Do I need to tell you how many comments I've received at either of my blogs? Do I???]
I know that there are people who are reading, but I have been wondering who might be reading, other than the friends and family I know about.
I recently posted [no links, peruse the archives if you're interested] and jokingly suggested that some well-known music blogger[s] may have stumbled upon my blog and may have been lurking. [BTW, I totally approve of such behavior.] I dropped in some fun "bait", hoping that might lure someone to say hello.
Recently, I received a message from someone[s] -- and I won't reveal who -- who said yes, indeed, she/he/it/them have/had been reading. This was the most exciting news I've received since I've started doing this.
So, if "you" are still reading -- and I don't mean " 'you' ", but "you know who" -- THANK YOU! Thank you for reading, and thank you for reaching out to me. You have affirmed my faith in bloggeranity, and made me the happiest blogger that I personally know.
ciaobaby
Saturday, December 30, 2006
April Showers...
This is one of my favorite completely non-posed photos I have ever snapped, and this was with a crappy camera phone! w00t!
P.S. This has nothing to do with music, but I have always loved this picture, and I finally figured out how to get it off my crappy phone. So, STFU!
P.P.S. Please see this for more context.
