* Breaking: World War II Memorial Plans To Sue Antonella Barba:
Remember Mario Vazquez?
Mario was a contestant on American Idol 4 who made it to the final 12 and was handicapped to be a top-3 or top-4 prospect. But, on the day before the final 12 were to compete for the first time, Fox announced that Mario had dropped out of the competition for "family reasons" [Mario was replaced in the finals by "7th-place-in-the-semifinal male finisher" Nikko Smith].
Everyone called bullshit on this at the time and assumed that Mario dropped out because he thought he could get a record deal on his own giving him more control over his career. Even Mario's mom said she had no idea what these "family reasons" could be. Idol watchers felt Mario's subsequent signing by Clive Davis validated their assumptions.
But, alas, the truth may be a little less banal and a lot ickier than that.
According to a lawsuit filed on Monday against Vazquez, Fox and Idol-producer Fremantle Media, the "family" appears to be "former Fremantle Assistant Accountant Magdaleno Olmos", and the "reasons" appear to be "sexual harassment and attempted-gay-rape in the men's restroom".
[insert your own Ryan Seacrest / Clay Aiken / William Hung jokes here, please -- Ed.]
* Breaking: Lily Allen Is Adorable!!!:
Both of these were in serious contention for Video Of The Day. But, alas, they're a little too short, so they only rate "Kudos!!!":
[link courtesy themodernage.org]
These two videos are the only videos posted to YouTube by a user named "lilyallenisme". These videos obviously were taken by someone with definite "insider" access, so "lilyallenisme" may really be Lily herself. Awesome!
* Breaking: Music Critic Writes Fawning Article In Praise Of Arcade Fire:
If you haven't heard of Arcade Fire, the Montreal septet anointed by the music Poindexters as the latest "best rock band in the world", you might as well read Jody Rosen's love letter in Slate and pick up Neon Bible at the iTMS. Both are worth your time.
Trust me.
* Breaking: Katharine McPhee Likes Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Clean Teeth:
Kat did a LiveOnline chat with washingtonpost.com on Tuesday. And she made a shocking [!] revelation at the end:
" Katharine McPhee: I'm sorry I have to leave now but I have to go get my teeth cleaned at the dentist. I love you all and talk to you soon. "
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Odds & Sods: American Idol Drop-Out Wouldn't Get Away With This Shit With Hulk Hogan [13 March 2007 Edition]
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Celebrities! They're Just Like Us!: Katharine McPhee & Tyra Banks (27 February 2007 Edition)
I deliberately did not post this "ahead" of time, because I saw no need to give Tyra Banks any more free publicity than she was already receiving over this.
*****
* Just like us!: Katharine McPhee has love handles:
*****
* Just like us!: Tyra Banks wants to cop a feel of Kat's girls:
[Sidra: "They're real, and they're spectacular."]
*****
In a transparent effort to goose ratings, Tyra Banks's people posted these videos and some still photos last week. Can you imagine the reaction of the affiliates and advertisers? "Gee, thanks, Tyra. Thanks for giving it away for free ahead of time. You know -- so no one would need to WATCH IT WHEN IT AIRS or anything!!! Thanks bunches!"
Friday, February 23, 2007
This Week In Christina Aguilera: 23 February Edition
[Rob, didn't you already do a "This Week In Christina Aguilera" post, like, earlier this week???]
Okay, it's no secret that we here at DHMBIB <3-with-a-capital-"3" Xtina.
But seriously, is there anyone in music who has had a better two weeks?
Here are some of the things that Xtina has done in the last couple of weeks:
* Appeared as Ellen Degeneres's featured guest and musical performer on her 600th show:
[Holy flurking shnit!!! Check out those big-ass roses!!! -- Ed.]
[Try not to get turned on when Xtina talks about "Naked Sunday". Is it getting hot in here??? -- Ed.]
[Xtina can dress appropriately for daytime TV meant for stay-at-home Moms, retirees, and bloggers? Who knew??? -- Ed.]
* Brought the Grammy house down with a performance of James Brown's "It's A Man's Man's Man's World":
[Oh, yeah -- and she actually WON a Grammy. Best Female Pop Vocal Performance for "Ain't No Other Man" -- Ed.]
* Brought the NBA All-Star Game house down with performances of her own "Ain't No Other Man" and "Candy Man":
[Let's see how long it takes the NBA to C&D YouTube over this version -- Ed.]
* And yesterday, she premiered her new video for "Candy Man" on TRL:
Four points to discuss about this last item:
1) I'm sure you're grumbling a little bit right now about how you're supposedly already "sick" of hearing this song. It's been so ubiquitous in 3 different national ad campaigns that you're probably saying to yourself, "You mean, there wasn't a 'video' already??? And what qualifies as a 'music video' nowadays, anyway???"
Whatevs. Stop fake-hating and enjoy.
[P.S. Our iPods have been rocking out to "Candy Man" since September, when our wise-beyond-her-years friend gave us Back To Basics as a birthday present.]
2) Vanessa Minnillo apparently has morphed into Katharine McPhee. Hey, Nick Lachey -- that might just qualify as an UPGRADE!!!
3) [Item #3 was supposed to be about how long this clip would last on Google Video given that MTV Networks parent Viacom has been C&D'ing Google recently because Google refused to pay them gobs of money over copyrighted Viacom material. But the internets reminded me that MTVN reached a separate agreement with Google last year that presumably makes this clip kosher. Move along. Nothing to see here.] And...
4) TRL is still on the air???
Sure, Xtina has had a few good things happen in her life the last couple of weeks. But, alas, she hasn't quite "done it all". Here are some of the things Xtina has NOT done in the last couple of weeks.
* Enter rehab and leave in less than 24 hours...
* Twice...
* Enter rehab for a third time...
* Shave off her hair to reassert control over her life to spite her mother to foil a threat to have her hair drug-tested...
* Assault an SUV with an umbrella...and,
* Make anyone think that KEVIN FUCKING FEDERLINE would be a better custodial parent than she is.
In 2000, Christina Aguilera defeated Britney Spears for the Best New Artist award. Xtina has since won 4 career Grammys and 1 Latin Grammy. Britney Spears has exactly 0 career Grammys on her resume.
In 2000, did Grammy make the right call???
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
This Week In Tonight In American Idol: 20 February 2007 Edition
At the very last minute, I decided I would live-blog American Idol tonight. Sue me.
8:00 PM: Ryan Seacrest tells us that "tonight, You take over". You again. I'm getting tired of You.
For background and ID info on our "semifinal 24", check here. We start with the men -- the women come up tomorrow.
8:02 PM: Ryan tells us that if we don't understand his explanation of how the next 3 weeks will work -- men and women compete among their gender groups, and 2 of each will be eliminated each week until we're down to 12 finalists [6 men and 6 women] -- we can "rewind" and hear it again, then "fast-forward" past the introduction of the judges. In case you took Ryan's advice, Simon tells the contestants that they should "sing well". Too bad he didn't give the same advice to Taylor Hicks last season. [Ooh, snap!!! -- Ed.]
8:11 PM: First up is Rudy Cardenas. Rudy performs "Free Ride" by noted Albino-American Edgar Winter. I've always hated this song, but Rudy's performance is passable. Randy calls it "corny". Paula calls it "fantastic". Paula is drunk medicated. Simon says Rudy does not have a "distinctive voice". Randy agrees. Paula repeats the word "fantastic" 3 times.
8:17 PM: During the first commercial break after the performances have begun, we get a commercial for AI. We hear Chris Daughtry's "Home" as the background music. My sister predicted in response to one of my earlier posts that "Home" would be the AI official "You've Been Whacked!!!" song this season. I think she's right.
8:20 PM: Our first commercial for the series finale of The O.C. Does anyone still care about this show??? Memo to Fox -- why waste an AI lead-in on a fucking series finale???
8:22 PM: Next up is Brandon Rogers. He performs a very lame version of Michael Jackson's "Rock With You". Randy calls it "pitchy" and "not your best performance". Paula reminds Brandon he's not a background vocalist anymore. Simon calls the song "too safe" and says he's much better than his performance.
8:27 PM: Next up is early-favorite Sundance Head. Sundance performs "Nights In White Satin" by the Moody Blues. I've always thought this song was vastly overrated as a "classic rock" song, but I'm sorta [but only sorta] heart-ing Sundance's take on it. Randy -- correctly, alas -- calls it "pitchy" and "off". Paula says Sundance "picked the wrong song". Simon says Sundance was "like Dad at a wedding". He notes that Sundance didn't bring the "rough, bluesy" style he showed earlier. He calls the performance "flat".
I personally hope Sundance survives his subpar performance this week -- I think he has potential in this competition.
8:37 PM: Next up is Paul Kim. During the performance, Paul does something that has never been done on AI before at least 3 different times -- he performs barefoot. Paul performs "Careless Whisper" by George Michael. Another song I never really liked, but I'm really heart-ing Paul's rendition. Randy doesn't like the performance as much as I did, but sees "a lot of potential". Paula says Paul "oversang the song" and was "pitchy". Simon suggests that Paul put his shoes on next week. He calls the performance a "copy", "third-rate" and "not overwhelming".
Never been done before, that whole barefoot thing:
[Paul Kim's gay barefoot performance of a George Michael song looked something like this. Except he was standing. And he didn't have these weird drum guys. And it wasn't as good as this.]
Ryan joins Paul on stage -- without his shoes. Randy asks Ryan why he is without shoes. Ryan responds: "I just got a new pedicure and I wanted to show it off". Ryan Seacrest is approximately as gay as George Michael, Clay Aiken, and Paul Kim.
8:44 PM: Next up is Justin Timberlake-wannabe Chris Richardson. Inexplicably, Chris performs "I Don't Wanna Be" by Gavin DeGraw. Which was a losing pick for Bo Bice back in AI4. Randy misidentifies the song as "an Edwin McCain song" but calls it "the best performance of the night." Paula loves it too. Simon says Chris's voice sounded "small" and "below standard" but predicts the girls will vote him through.
8:55 PM: Next up is Nick Pedro. Nick Pedro famously made it to the Hollywood round of AI5 but "withdrew" just before the door hit him in the ass on the way out. Nick performs "Now And Forever" by Richard Marx. But not very well. Randy didn't like it at all, calling it "pitchy". Paula agreed, saying he didn't have the "magic" from his audition. Simon says, "I didn't think it was that bad, actually." Simon agrees that Nick wasn't as confident as he'd been during the auditions, but predicted he'd make it through this week.
9:04 PM: Next up is Blake Lewis, who performs "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane. Randy expresses surprise at the song choice and calls it "pitchy" but says he liked it. Paula also thinks it was an odd choice but liked it. Simon says Blake is the first singer tonight to "sound like someone from 2007". Simon calls it the best performance of the nite.
9:13 PM: Next up is Sanjaya Malakar. Wouldn't it be interesting to see Sanjaya win -- he's very good -- and see the producers struggle with how to promote him??? Also, FWIW, Sanjaya is the youngest male in this year's competition. Watch for the "age factor" to be important -- both on the stage and off -- this season.
Sanjaya performs "Knocks Me Off My Feet" by Stevie Wonder and does a great job IMHO. But Randy hates the performance and says the song is "too big for you." Paula also thinks he failed to match Stevie's level. Simon calls it "dull" and "the worst performance of the night". All of the judges agree that his age is not a factor in their opinions. Which simply confirms that the judges got Nigel's memo, and that AI is looking for older performers who are more mature and actually connect with the music they are performing.
9:24 PM: Next up is Jack Osbourne Chris Sligh who performs "Typical" by Mute Math. The performance is good, but I think it's a bad song choice. Randy calls it a great song choice and loves the performance. Paula agrees. Simon hates it -- both the song choice and the performance -- which validates my existence. Simon also picks a fight with Ryan and calls him "Sweetheart", which Ryan does not respect. Chris comes back with "I guess I could've sung the Teletubbies". Uhhhh.....
I'm somewhat embarrassed to admit that I had never heard of this band Mute Math before tonight. They're from New Orleans, and they seem to be Killers-wannabes. Here they are performing "Typical" on The Jimmy Kimmel Show:
9:34 PM: Next up is Jared Cotter. Jared tackles "Back At One" by Brian McKnight, which is pretty ballsy. And I'm not a big fan of his performance. Randy calls it "alright" but "not your best". Paula says "there's more to you". Simon calls it "unadventurous" and "nasaly". Simon says he needs "to take a few more risks than that".
9:39 PM: Next up is A.J. Tabaldo, who performs "Never Too Much" by Luther Vandross. Again with the ballsy choices. The performance is good, though. Randy calls it "pretty good", but says A.J. "didn't bring anything new to it". Paula says he did a great job. Simon calls it "good, nothing great, nothing terrible". He also calls it "a theme-park performance".
9:49 PM: Our final performer of the nite is Phil Stacey. Phil is the guy who missed the birth of his child so he could make the auditions. Phil performs "I Could Not Ask For More", which, completely in spite of the fact that it was written by the craptacular hack Diane Warren, I think is actually a good song. "I Could Not Ask For More" actually was an Edwin McCain song. It was also covered by "country" singer and "Dancing With The Stars" veteran Sara Evans [a love for the music of Sara Evans is, I GUARAN-DAMN-TEE YOU, the only quality I share with Tom DeLay]. Randy says it was the best vocal performance of the nite. Paula agrees that after a rough start, he really hit it. Simon agrees the start was shaky, but that he made it "okay", but "didn't nail it". Simon predicts he'll make it through.
9:52 PM: Ryan gets in the first "Britney Spears is bald" joke of the season by commenting that Phil Stacey was "going with the Britney Spears haircut".
9:53 PM: Ryan asks Simon why he was so negative tonite. Simon responds that he doesn't believe in lying to people or patronizing the audience. "It wasn't the best set of performances tonight." But here's your money shot of the nite...Simon: "I'm not going to lie to people. You can do that on your radio show, Ryan." Ouch!!!
*****
Overall, I'd say it was a pretty mediocre nite. If I were forced to predict who will get the boot on Thursday, I would say.... The bottom four will be: Sundance Head, Sanjaya Malakar, Nick Pedro, and Chris Sligh. Of the four, I think Sundance and Nick are the most likely to make it through.
*****
Just because, I leave you with Sara Evans's excellent cover of "I Could Not Ask For More"...
Sara Evans - I Could Not Ask For More [mp3, via YSI]
Sara Evans - I Could Not Ask For More [mp3, via zShare]
Thursday, February 1, 2007
This Week In American Idol
Okay, this is just a lame excuse for a bunch of mini-posts. Sue me.
* Breaking: Real actual star of "Grease" waaaaaaaaaay better to air than a "let's-cast-a-new-for-the-21st-century-'Grease'" made-up "reality" show:
Awesomest. Celebrity. Judge. Ever.
Fox to NBC: "Suck it!"
* Breaking: Idol-hating blogger's failure to waste time tracking down MySpace profiles of failed Idol wannabes making it harder for Idol fans to be lazy:
Eric over at deathbycamera seems to have gotten bored with his Idol-hating must-read posts. Because nature abhors an unfilled gap that needs filling with Idol MySpace-stalking, I have tracked down a few of Wednesday's contestants:
THEY MADE IT...
* Alaina Alexander -- the first LA contestant on TV to get the golden ticket; she sang "Feelin' Good" by Michael Buble, although it's actually a cover; I couldn't find her on MySpace, but here she is on YouTube...
* Brandon Rogers -- yet another professional singer who advances to the LA round; anyone noticing a trend on Idol this season??? He sang "Always On My Mind"; Brandon Rogers on MySpace...
* Brian Miller -- Brian Miller is way too common a name to track down on MySpace -- even by paging through all of the actual singers named "Brian Miller"; but he sang Sam Cooke's "A Change Is Gonna Come", which is an awesome song, so I wish him luck...
Sam Cooke - A Change Is Gonna Come [mp3, via YSI]
Sam Cooke - A Change Is Gonna Come [mp3, via zShare]
[memo to AI producers -- you could do a lot worse than a "Sam Cooke night"...just sayin'...]
And that's it...Did I see that right? Only 3 wannabes who were shown on the air made it through???
NOT A CHANCE IN HELL...
I only tracked down 1 of the trainwrecks, but it's a good one. Ladies and gentlemen, I present the MySpace page of Marianna Riccio, whose mother was a backup singer for Dean Martin and who butchered the Clash's "Should I Stay Or Should I Go?"...
* And speaking of Dean Martin...
AI veterans know the producers are not below tugging at the heartstrings a bit to goose the ratings [as if the ratings need any goosage]. But this was real, and it was nice, and it was even real nice...
Here's Sherman Pore, whose girlfriend died of cancer 2 days before his "audition", but who still kept his promise to her to audition...and what a beautiful job he did:
* Breaking: AI viewers not smart enough to know when AI begins, ends; apparently keep their "teevees" tuned to Fox between January and May:
Tuesday's 9PM post-Idol episode of House and Wednesday's 8PM pre-Idol episode of Bones both logged record ratings numbers this week. In other news: NBC and CBS green-light new series entitled, respectively, "Law & Order: American Idol" and "CSI: AI" [theme music by The Who still to-be-determined]; ABC still reviewing pilot for "Dancing With The American Idols".
The Who - Success Story [mp3, via YSI]
The Who - Success Story [mp3, via zShare]
* Breaking: Katharine McPhee releases an album; Kelly Clarkson yawns:
Here's Slate's Idol blogger Jody Rosen on McPheever's new record:
" On Tuesday, another runner-up, Katharine McPhee, released her debut album, and it's actually a good record, staking out a nice middle ground between R&B and adult album alternative, with the blowsy ballads kept to a minimum. (I'm a sucker for the single, "Over It.") "
I picked up "Katharine McPhee" [the album, not the singer, damn it!!!] on Tuesday, and my initial review is less charitable. My opinion may change over time, but my initial review is..."Katharine McPhee" is all over the place. She can't seem to decide if she's [in no particular order] Christina Aguilera, Fergie Ferg, Gwen Stefani, Janet Jackson, Kelly Clarkson, or...Britney Spears???
My advice: Kat, you have a great voice. Embrace it. Find your confidence [not a word you normally associate with someone who is bulimic and who dabbles in Scientology to impress boys]. And embrace your inner Xtina. It worked for Kelly...
Katharine McPhee - Dangerous [mp3, via YSI]
Katharine McPhee - Dangerous [mp3, via zShare]
Katharine McPhee - Home [mp3, via YSI]
Katharine McPhee - Home [mp3, via zShare]
Katharine McPhee - Open Toes [mp3, via YSI]
Katharine McPhee - Open Toes [mp3, via zShare]
Katharine McPhee singing "Over It" on The Today Show, 2007.01.31:
* Bonus Breaking #1: Perez Hilton wants you to know that Clay Aiken wants you to know he has at least 4 fingers on his left hand; Clay Aiken wants you to know that a gay blogger who wants to out him is making up stuff and "bull$#@&":
I have no idea what any of this means.
* Bonus Breaking #2: Nikki McKibben is back:
AI1 3d-place-finisher Nikki McKibben is back. Back from where -- don't ask me. Yes, the famously-untalented and famously-unsmart AI1 3d place finisher -- she eliminated the actually-talented Tamyra Gray -- is "back". But "back" doing what, who knows...
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Leftovers: American Idol Edition
* Breaking: American Idol runners-up really are just like everyone else:
Katharine McPhee chats on her phone, feeds her meter, enjoys being stalked by paparazzi:
Katharine, love the shoes!!!
* Breaking: AI-hating dude who just fucking wanted to fucking share his fucking photos with his fucking friends is not fucking interested in fucking being the fucking AI-goto blog:
Eric over at deathbycamera does a post-mortem on his website meltdown as a result of his oh, ya know, collecting MySpace profiles on AI contestants. He says he only did it because he was bored, and he never expected all the extra traffic, because, ya know, the 37 million viewers that tuned in each night last week wouldn't care about such things. In retrospect, maybe it was not the best idea to mail several highly-trafficked music and celebretainment blogs about his posts:
Subject: the myspace accounts of american idol contestants
From: eric.dbc@gmail.com
Date: 1/17/07 2:56 AM
To: tips@stereogum.com; tips@defamer.com; tips@gawker.com; tips@idolator.com; tips@socialitelife.comI don’t know if anybody is watching the new season of American Idol, I don’t know if anybody really cares. Here’s the thing: I got really fucking bored tonight and started searching for the idiots that were on American Idol on myspace and found 11 of them. Some of them were winners, most of them were losers.
You can check it out here.
http://deathbycamera.com/?p=30
Peace,
Eric
www.deathbycamera.com
Yes, dude actually wrote: "I don’t know if anybody is watching the new season of American Idol, I don’t know if anybody really cares."
Eric, dude, think of all the Adsense revenue you left on the table!!!
Thursday, January 18, 2007
BREAKING: Most People Are Bad Singers, Refuse To Acknowledge It; Rupert Murdoch Still Smarter Than You
American Idol has returned!!!
AI vets know that this part of the season highlights the worst of the worst. Indeed, it was the train-wreck failed auditions that originally hooked people on AI in the first place [remember back in '02 when AI watchers -- especially those who tuned in after hearing their friends describe Simon's sharp-tounged put-downs of the losers who had no clue they couldn't sing -- were disappointed that the remaining contestants' reasonable vocal skills were not prompting much biting criticism from the judges???].
As AI has evolved over time, and grown into a cultural phenomenon that leaves network execs at networks not named "FOX" shaking in the corners of padded rooms, both the judges and the potential "contestants" have gotten savvier about 1) delivering what the viewers want in the early weeks [audition train-wrecks and put-downs], and 2) how to make the most out of their one chance at 15-minute-fame. Thus, we get auditioners that are either delusional about their lack of talent, or deliberately bombing hoping to be the next William Hung -- or both [Troy Benham, the "Urban Amish" guy who claims never to have seen AI, and to not even have "broadcast television", but who somehow manages to be on MySpace -- I'm calling you out!!!] -- along with judges who are overly critical of marginally-talented performers [seriously, I didn't think Jessica Rhode -- the Jewel fan who kicked off the Minneapolis show by singing "Who Will Save Your Soul" to her idol -- was really that bad, and certainly not "that bad" enough to deserve the evisceration she got from the judges].
If you are even remotely interested in what happens on AI, you don't need me to link to the multitude of reviews of the first two installments of AI6. But I will link to maybe the most interesting resource -- and perhaps the most linked-to out there -- about the first two nights. Eric over at deathbycamera has done some awesome work tracking down the MySpace pages of some of this year's contestants -- winners and losers. Please note -- depending on when you check these out, some of the profiles may be already gone [including, sadly, the profile of the afore-mentioned Jessica Rhode, who listed among her "music interests" some band called "The Google Dolls"]: Minneapolis; Seattle.
deathbycamera's work got me thinking about AI in the MySpace era. Although MySpace has been around for a couple of years now, deathbycamera's work is the first I've seen connecting the contestants to MySpace profiles. Which got me thinking.
I'm sure you all know that AI is the highest-rated show on television. Tuesday's AI6 premiere was the highest-rated show in the key 18-49 demographic -- over 37 million viewers -- since the Friends finale in May 2004. But MySpace's traffic is even gaudier than that. Reliable MySpace data is hard to come by, but it is estimated that there are approximately 150 million MySpace accounts.
MySpace, you may recall, was originally designed as a community site for musicians / bands to connect with their fans unfiltered by big record companies and big radio, etc. It still is a must-have-a-profile site for even the biggest names in the business, due to its large user-base of fans who are already used to accessing music in these "non-traditional" online venues.
This large collection of musicians and music-lovers proved a potential rival to the success and influence of AI. Imagine for a moment, if MySpace had decided to organize its own AI-style "competition", it could have quickly cultivated a contestant-space [remember -- You are the Person Of The Year, for good reason] and created an audience that would have made AI's numbers look like the audience for an overnight infomercial on the H&G channel. Imagine further, if MySpace had partnered up with someone else who knew a thing-or-two about marketing music-and-lifestyle to young people [do I have to spell it out??? it rhymes with emteevee...] -- well, that's formidable competition right there.
Okay, so all of that bloviation gets me to what I've been thinking about today:
1) Did Rupert Murdoch buy MySpace because he saw it as his most immediate potential threat to his American Idol cash cow?
2) Was Rupert Murdoch being penny-wise-and-pound-Australian-dollar-foolish in not picking up YouTube, his longer-term, potentially-tougher threat to his American Idol cash cow?
3) If Viacom/MTVN had picked up either MySpace or YouTube when they had the chance, would Tom Freston still have a job???
Discuss...
Bonus gettin'-all-meta-meta-and-shit link: 'Idol 5' runner-up Katharine McPhee to appear on 'Lonelygirl15'
Katharine McPhee is not Kelly Clarkson.
[still waiting for the CD -- only a week-and-a-half to go...]
