Perez Hilton's jealous and/or gay sources are reporting that Jessica Biel flew out to Sundance on Thursday to vaca with JT and his fam:
" "Jessica was picked up in her chauffer-driven Volkswagen Touareg car and instantly went to visit Timberlake when she got into Park City," says a source.
" And, in typical Biel and Timberlake fashion, the atheletic twosome even spent time snowboarding together on Thursday, a Biel insider reveals to us. "
[PerezHilton.com, via TMZ.com (4th item)]
I hope Jessie remembered to bring the remote-controlled lingerie she bought at that boutique in 7th Heaven [3d item].
Justin Timberlake - Boutique In Heaven [mp3, via YSI]
Justin Timberlake - Boutique In Heaven [mp3, via zShare]
Friday, January 26, 2007
What Would Mary Camden Do?
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Quick Hits: Updates For 24 January 2007
* Eric must have a bet with his friends on what time his site will melt down: Eric over at deathbycamera -- despite claiming not to give a shit about American Idol -- has decided to embrace his role as the unofficial MySpace-profile-seeker for AI contestants. He's got the profiles for the Memphis round from Tuesday 23 January up now. The site is still up as I post this, but it will soon become bogged down, so keep trying if your browser times out.
* See, American Idol winners really are just like everyone else: Carrie Underwood kicks Tony Romo to the curb after he blows the Cowboys' chance to win a playoff game tells The Tennessean that she and Tony Romo are not dating and non-denially-denies that they ever were:
" Carrie Underwood says her success has resulted in false rumors being reported in the press, including the report that she's dating Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo.
" "I have read some of the most ridiculous things about that," she says of reports that she's dating Tony. "The first time I ever met him was on Christmas, right there on the field. Everybody was like, 'Ooh, they are together.' And then I was blamed for Dallas not winning that game. . . . He is a very nice guy and I've talked to him a few times, but we are very much not together."
" An Illinois newspaper reported that Tony said it was true that the two were dating. (Her publicist, who says Carrie is not dating anyone, presumes Romo was joking.) "That was one person from one local newspaper that said that, so whether or not . . .,"Carrie says. "I've read 'sources said' we met on Thanksgiving. I had no clue who he was at that time. He is probably getting a little tired of that one (the false rumor he was dating Jessica Simpson) and now he's probably tired of this one, as I am." "
For Carrie Underwood, fame brings false rumors of romance
* So, maybe Jessie will be bringing sexy-panties-remote-back to Justin after all???: As I speculated earlier, it appears that Derek Jeter has "struck out" [thank you!!! I'll be here all week!!!] with Jessica Biel. Now, I really do love Gabrielle Union, but, I think I have to say...DOWNGRADE.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Leftovers: American Idol Edition
* Breaking: American Idol runners-up really are just like everyone else:
Katharine McPhee chats on her phone, feeds her meter, enjoys being stalked by paparazzi:
Katharine, love the shoes!!!
* Breaking: AI-hating dude who just fucking wanted to fucking share his fucking photos with his fucking friends is not fucking interested in fucking being the fucking AI-goto blog:
Eric over at deathbycamera does a post-mortem on his website meltdown as a result of his oh, ya know, collecting MySpace profiles on AI contestants. He says he only did it because he was bored, and he never expected all the extra traffic, because, ya know, the 37 million viewers that tuned in each night last week wouldn't care about such things. In retrospect, maybe it was not the best idea to mail several highly-trafficked music and celebretainment blogs about his posts:
Subject: the myspace accounts of american idol contestants
From: eric.dbc@gmail.com
Date: 1/17/07 2:56 AM
To: tips@stereogum.com; tips@defamer.com; tips@gawker.com; tips@idolator.com; tips@socialitelife.comI don’t know if anybody is watching the new season of American Idol, I don’t know if anybody really cares. Here’s the thing: I got really fucking bored tonight and started searching for the idiots that were on American Idol on myspace and found 11 of them. Some of them were winners, most of them were losers.
You can check it out here.
http://deathbycamera.com/?p=30
Peace,
Eric
www.deathbycamera.com
Yes, dude actually wrote: "I don’t know if anybody is watching the new season of American Idol, I don’t know if anybody really cares."
Eric, dude, think of all the Adsense revenue you left on the table!!!
This Week In Jessica Biel
Welcome to the debut of a new occasional feature at DHMBIB. When I decide to put one together, a post in "This Week In..." will usually feature someone who has been in the news a lot recently or for some unknown reason is appearing in photos everywhere.
As Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears are all charter members of the DHMBIB:TWI... Hall Of Fame, I'm really unlikely to make them subjects of this feature.
For my inaugural post, I present...This Week In Jessica Biel [whoa!]
* Insert your own lame-ass "Golden Globes" joke here:
Jessica Biel likes Maria Menounos's ass.
* Insert another lame-ass "Golden Globes" joke here:
Apparently, Esquire Mag's editors and JT are not the only people who think Jessie is the "Sexiest Woman Alive". Or maybe Diddy just likes him to stare at some boobies.
* So maybe that explains why Derek Jeter was nowhere in sight and JT was trying to pick up Jessie's "Golden Globes":
You may have noticed who was falling down on his job of being the exclusive looker-atter for Jessie's delicious form at Monday's "Golden Globes" -- Derek Jeter, who has been dating Jessie for a couple of months, and with whom he spent New Year's in Puerto Rico [yeah, that woulda been just two weeks earlier...]:
Hmmm. So, consider this item from Friday's installment of Ted Casablanca's "The Awful Truth":
"Raisin' eyebrows elsewhere was Jessica Biel, rumored g-f of Derek Jeter and Esquire's 2005 Sexiest Woman Alive, erasing all memories of her squeaky-clean 7th Heaven days. Jess-babe picked out a pair of remote-controlled vibrating panties along with some other stroke-ready toys from Booty Parlor at the Kari Feinstein Style Lounge in the Hollywood Hills. Now, go tell that to the pulpit set!"
Maybe Jessie was picking up these? [technically SFW, but I wouldn't risk it if I were you...] Who's the lucky son-of-a-gun who gets to "use the remote"???
Friday, January 19, 2007
Leftovers: blah, blah, blah...
* "Champagne For My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends":
Hmmm...As LiLo has just checked in to rehab, she has not yet issued a statement regarding whether Pete's "fall out boy" [warning: NSFW] is "adequite"...
* Pete Wentz Trent Reznor doesn't care about emo people:
"“Emo screamo!” he ranted in an oddly Dr. Seussian style. “If I happen to accidentally turn the radio on…I literally can’t tell the difference between one of 20 bands,” said a clearly exasperated icon. “Either I’m getting old, which is a fact, or I’m turning into my dad! I wonder about the person that’s in a band, the young kid who just got signed or is trying to get signed - why is he doing it? Is he trying to change the world and do something different and express himself…or is it because they want to fuck Paris Hilton and be photographed outside trendy restaurants?”"
[RollingStone, via Stereogum]
Bonus points: Who is Trent Reznor???
* MTV cutting back on airing 30-second-clips of "music videos"; "Viewers would rather see Brooke Hogan shopping at Payless to a Danity Kane soundtrack":
The New York Daily News is reporting that MTV is floating the idea of canceling Total Request Live TRL. Something about the ratings. And the attention-spans of the MySpace generation.
Wait, what was I writing???
* Former C-Listers set to become current D-Listers:
I couldn't possibly "improve" on this:
"In "Untitled Boy Band Project," premiering late Spring 2007, four boy band legends: Chris Kirkpatrick (N*SYNC); Jeff Timmons (98 Degrees); Rich Cronin (LFO) and Bryan Abrams (Color Me Badd) will live together for one month, create new music, a dynamic stage show and perform as a new pop group."
* Fall Out Boy lyrics are hard to discern, easy to mock:
Following up on my well-received [meaning: only-commented-upon] post about this, I present this:
ciaobaby
Thursday, January 18, 2007
BREAKING: Most People Are Bad Singers, Refuse To Acknowledge It; Rupert Murdoch Still Smarter Than You
American Idol has returned!!!
AI vets know that this part of the season highlights the worst of the worst. Indeed, it was the train-wreck failed auditions that originally hooked people on AI in the first place [remember back in '02 when AI watchers -- especially those who tuned in after hearing their friends describe Simon's sharp-tounged put-downs of the losers who had no clue they couldn't sing -- were disappointed that the remaining contestants' reasonable vocal skills were not prompting much biting criticism from the judges???].
As AI has evolved over time, and grown into a cultural phenomenon that leaves network execs at networks not named "FOX" shaking in the corners of padded rooms, both the judges and the potential "contestants" have gotten savvier about 1) delivering what the viewers want in the early weeks [audition train-wrecks and put-downs], and 2) how to make the most out of their one chance at 15-minute-fame. Thus, we get auditioners that are either delusional about their lack of talent, or deliberately bombing hoping to be the next William Hung -- or both [Troy Benham, the "Urban Amish" guy who claims never to have seen AI, and to not even have "broadcast television", but who somehow manages to be on MySpace -- I'm calling you out!!!] -- along with judges who are overly critical of marginally-talented performers [seriously, I didn't think Jessica Rhode -- the Jewel fan who kicked off the Minneapolis show by singing "Who Will Save Your Soul" to her idol -- was really that bad, and certainly not "that bad" enough to deserve the evisceration she got from the judges].
If you are even remotely interested in what happens on AI, you don't need me to link to the multitude of reviews of the first two installments of AI6. But I will link to maybe the most interesting resource -- and perhaps the most linked-to out there -- about the first two nights. Eric over at deathbycamera has done some awesome work tracking down the MySpace pages of some of this year's contestants -- winners and losers. Please note -- depending on when you check these out, some of the profiles may be already gone [including, sadly, the profile of the afore-mentioned Jessica Rhode, who listed among her "music interests" some band called "The Google Dolls"]: Minneapolis; Seattle.
deathbycamera's work got me thinking about AI in the MySpace era. Although MySpace has been around for a couple of years now, deathbycamera's work is the first I've seen connecting the contestants to MySpace profiles. Which got me thinking.
I'm sure you all know that AI is the highest-rated show on television. Tuesday's AI6 premiere was the highest-rated show in the key 18-49 demographic -- over 37 million viewers -- since the Friends finale in May 2004. But MySpace's traffic is even gaudier than that. Reliable MySpace data is hard to come by, but it is estimated that there are approximately 150 million MySpace accounts.
MySpace, you may recall, was originally designed as a community site for musicians / bands to connect with their fans unfiltered by big record companies and big radio, etc. It still is a must-have-a-profile site for even the biggest names in the business, due to its large user-base of fans who are already used to accessing music in these "non-traditional" online venues.
This large collection of musicians and music-lovers proved a potential rival to the success and influence of AI. Imagine for a moment, if MySpace had decided to organize its own AI-style "competition", it could have quickly cultivated a contestant-space [remember -- You are the Person Of The Year, for good reason] and created an audience that would have made AI's numbers look like the audience for an overnight infomercial on the H&G channel. Imagine further, if MySpace had partnered up with someone else who knew a thing-or-two about marketing music-and-lifestyle to young people [do I have to spell it out??? it rhymes with emteevee...] -- well, that's formidable competition right there.
Okay, so all of that bloviation gets me to what I've been thinking about today:
1) Did Rupert Murdoch buy MySpace because he saw it as his most immediate potential threat to his American Idol cash cow?
2) Was Rupert Murdoch being penny-wise-and-pound-Australian-dollar-foolish in not picking up YouTube, his longer-term, potentially-tougher threat to his American Idol cash cow?
3) If Viacom/MTVN had picked up either MySpace or YouTube when they had the chance, would Tom Freston still have a job???
Discuss...
Bonus gettin'-all-meta-meta-and-shit link: 'Idol 5' runner-up Katharine McPhee to appear on 'Lonelygirl15'
Katharine McPhee is not Kelly Clarkson.
[still waiting for the CD -- only a week-and-a-half to go...]
Kelly Clarkson Doesn't Care About Makeup-Applying People
This post brought to you in honor of the return of American Idol. Because, ya know, Kelly Clarkson doesn't want anything to do with AI these days.
Which one is AI Season 1 champ Kelly Clarkson [you may have heard of her -- she has been working with Mike Watt recently]?
Maybe this will help you decide...
More here and here.
No comment...
If This Is What "Seventh Heaven" Is Like, I'm Ready To Die!!!
Did ya catch Jessica Biel at the Golden Globes the other night?
Two words: Gor. Geous.
She'll be a superstar some day. Write it down. [Thanks to Egotastic for the photo.]
We at DHMBIB are not the only ones who <3 Jessie. Justin Timberlake was spied chatting up JB at a Golden Globes after party -- by CAMERON DIAZ!!! Cam reportedly screamed at Jessie, who by now has got to be thinking, "What is all this shit??? First, Lindsay Lohan was all up in my grill for hiring her former assistant, and for being a glamorous and successful actress and stuff. Now LiLo's new BFF Cam is all up in my grill for showing JT why I'm Esquire Mag's 'Sexiest Woman Alive'."
So, how can the broken-hearted fashion-disastered Cam get back at Jessie? Is she responsible for digging this up?:
Oops!
Monday, January 15, 2007
This Is Why We Love Idolator, Episode ---
More posts coming about many important things, but I had to point this out...
I don't like to crib others' excellent posts, but this is just so money I had to post it...From this week's Idolator's "On The Shelf" [new releases preview...links removed -- please click on over to Idolator and give them some love]:
Stacie Orrico, "Beautiful Awakening"
The artist: Squeaky-clean pop singer who lists her influences as Jesus, Lauryn Hill, Ella Fitzgerald, and Whitney Houston.
The sound: Spunky, R & B-tinged Radio Disney fodder.
The first in line: Kids whose mothers think the Hyde-lurking JoJo is too wild of an influence.
Diana Ross, "I Love You"
The artist: The original Dreamgirl heads down the Rod Stewart cover-album path.
The sound: Soupy reworkings of "Always And Forever," "Take My Breath Away," and "You Are So Beautiful."
The first in line: Michael Jackson.
Stars Of Track And Field, "Centuries Before Love And War"
The artist: Blogger buzz band that got snapped up by Wind-Up.
The sound: A product of its Pacific Northwest surroundings: the electro beats of the Postal Service mixed with the massive guitars of Built To Spill.
The first in line: Bloggers who forgot that they downloaded this album last spring.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Okay, I Think You Have Just Jumped The Shark
You. You're starting to piss me off, being everywhere and everything all the time and shit.
I thought it was pretty cool when You were named Time's "Person Of The Year" -- that's, like, even better than winning a Golden Globe!!!. Then, You were named FOXSports.com's "Fan Of The Year" -- and I didn't even know you were a sports fan!!! Okay, so then You were named Spin's "Artist Of The Year", and I felt a little light-headed just being around You and all the attention You were getting. But when I found out Ad Age had named You the Agency Of The Year, I started feeling queasy and a little bit angry -- I knew You would soon be a full-of-yourself twatwaffle.
And now You've really gone and done it.
I heard from a friend today -- not from You, of course, because You've become a stuck-up douchebag who's "too busy" to hollaback to your peeps from the block, of course -- that Paper has put You in charge of their First Annual Beautiful Person Contest. And not only that -- I heard that You've actually got a decent shot at winning:
"Hey, you. Yes, you!...Do you have what it takes to be a PAPERMAG Beautiful Person?"
Fuck You!!!
Tuesday, January 9, 2007
See, This Is Why You Are The Person Of The Year
So, Fall Out Boy were in Albuquerque NM on Saturday night. At one point during the show, FOB roadies were pulling people up on stage to join the band. Eventually, venue security decided that there were enough people on the stage, and one Security Dood got into a fight with a Roadie Dood over the whole thing. A near brawl ensued, and Pete Wentz himself got right in the middle of it to put a beat down on the buzz-killing Security Dood.
18-year-old Josh, a/k/a binxxxthesynister, a/k/a "You", was there and caught the action on his phone:
I Got My Ass Kicked By Someone In Fall Out Boy...
Congratulations You, you've done it again. And you've provided us with our Video Of The Day!!!
********
Which "Taking Back Sunday" song are you [not "You", but you]? According to Josh's MySpace page, he is "You're So Last Summer"...Awesome...
Monday, January 8, 2007
Nobody Puts Milhouse Pete Barney In The Corner
This picture is not Fall Out Boy bassist-lyricist-has-anyone-figured-out-why-he's-the-most-famous-one Pete Wentz, who some people think looks more like Lacey Chabert than a character from The Simpsons. It's also not Fall Out Boy guitarist-what's-his-name-oh-yeah Joe Trohman, who some people think does look like a character from The Simpsons. In fact, it's Bart Simpson's best friend, Milhouse Mussolini Van Houten, pictured here in costume on the set of the film "Radioactive Man", which was filmed in Springfield and for which Milhouse was cast to play the part of Radioactive Man's boy-wonder sidekick, Fallout Boy.
When I started doing this a few months ago, I told "you" -- not " 'You' ", or " 'You' ", or " 'You' ", or even " 'You' ", but one or two of "you" -- that some day I would tackle the burning question: "What's the deal with Fall Out Boy's 80's-pop-culture-obsession in their band name and song titles???" I mean, for example, "Pretty In Punk", "A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More 'Touch Me'", and "Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner", not to even mention the band's NAME [ahem, "Fall Out Boy", which really is a mid-90's pop culture reference, but close enough] or their [awesome] cover of Joy Division's "Love Will Tear Us Apart".
Alas, I'm afraid this will not be that some day, as it seems that not even Pete Wentz can answer that question. Famously [or is that "apocryphally"???] the band took its name from a suggestion yelled out at one of their early shows, maybe-or-maybe-not because what's-his-name-oh-yeah Trohman resembles Milhouse, even though the band [supposedly] didn't understand the [admittedly-very-obscure-Simpsons-geeks-only] reference at the time.
No, alas, this post will hook into something else not even only peripherally FOB-related -- that one of FOB's song [as previously noted] has something to do with "Baby In The Corner".
"Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner" is, as I'm sure my readers know, one of the awesome cheesy awesomely-cheesy lines uttered by Patrick Swayze in that classic 1980's coming-of-age film, "Dirty Dancing". I have wine-cooler-impaired fond memories of that film, and I'm aware that it is the favorite of at least one of DHMBIB's loyal readers.
All of that bloviation is really just an elaborate set-up for a quick post about tonight's [Monday 1.8.2007] episode of the best sictom on network teevee [last item], "How I Met Your Mother". Tonight's story: Robin's teenage [16, I believe] baby sister is visiting BigSis in New York and is "traveling with" her boyfriend of two months [!!!] who "happens" to have family in town. BabySis tells Robin that she plans to lose her virginity to her boyfriend that night, which freaks Robin out and prompts all of the characters to relive their own when-I-lost-it memories. Famously-womanizing Barney tells everyone that he lost it when he was "17 -- 16 -- 14" at "a summer camp" in "upstate New York" where he was "teaching...dance". Here's the memory as flashback'ed by Barney:
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it...
[Seriously, how does HIMYM keep raising the bar like this??? It's got to be embarrassing for the producers of the other sitcoms on the teevee. And seriously, doesn't Jennifer Grey look great???]
As I write, the ep is not online yet at Innertube, but is sure to be within 24 hours. So if you're interested, keep checking back. But at the risk of spoiling it for you, I'll tell you that Barney eventually reveals that he didn't lose it until he was 24 [I can totes relate]. Of course, the story is appropriately hilarious, but if anyone stumbles upon this blog who is facing these issues from either Robin's POV -- or from that of her "Baby" sis, or, heaven forbid, from BARNEY'S POV -- there may actually be some valuable life lessons we can all draw from this ep:
* don't do it [first] with someone you've known for only two months [BabySis]
* don't do it [first] in the dorm [Marshall]
* don't do it [ever] in the bottom bunk -- with someone else in the top bunk [eww, Marshall!]
* don't do it [ever] at a mythical summer resort in upstate New York back in the late-50's-early-60's [Baby, and Baby's sis]..[which you can't, because, well, ya know...]
* don't ever succumb to peer pressure
* don't set it up via SMS [yes, it's 2008 2007, but still...let's bring SexyBack, please...]
* and under no circumstances should you update your MySpace page about the deed before you do it -- Robin's BabySis, I'm looking at you [yes, they name-checked MySpace tonight too]...
********
Hey, Rob, wasn't this post supposed to be about Fall Out Boy? Alright, fine -- here's Pitchfork's review [from Monday] of the new FOB single/video ["This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race"]. Summary: the video is awesome...the song -- eh...And here's Stereogum on the single almost two months ago...
********
I recently found out that Blogger has a character-max-limit of 200 in the "labels" [tags] field for posts. Which means I won't be able to label/tag this with all of the labels/tags I would like...Hmm...
BREAKING: Website Allows Average User To Post Videos And Stuff
Hey, have you guys heard of this site called YouTube? That site's just craaaaazy, man. It's got all these videos and shit that people have uploaded. Is that possible, cuz that just sounds crazy!!!
Anyway, I found this crazy video over there, and even though it's been on the site since February 20, 2006 -- this YouTube site has been around for a year? that's just crazy!!! -- I just saw it. And I'm making it my inaugural "Video Of The Day".
Enjoy.
[Okay, that was clever. As you can imagine, after hearing the audio again, the Tubes have conflicting transcriptions of the lyrics. The consensus looks something like this. YMMV.]
Thursday, January 4, 2007
New Year's Leftovers Are Fucking --
A mega-post full of leftovers and quick takes...As always, in no particular order...
* "Livin' in the shadow of someone else's dream...": From the "Great Moments In Contextual Advertising" department...Ashlee Simpson has her first NipSlip-caught-by-the-papz moment, and Google AdSense is still hating on her -- note big sister Jess's ProActiv ad in the top right [SFW; NipSlip cropped out...phtpthtphtht]:
[The NSFW version of this pic can be found, among other places, here]
So far, there is no truth to the rumor that Papa Joe Simpson ordered Ash to flash the goods to goose Jess's page views [what with Jess's career in free-fall these days, and all]...
There's also a "Grey's Anatomy" joke here somewhere, but I'm too lazy to look for it...
* And speaking of Jessica Simpson...no, not really...: Ex-Mr.-Jessica-Simpson Nick Lachey's new sweetie and MTV VJ Vanessa Minnillo used the word "fucking" during MTV's New Year's Eve countdown show. No, not while describing her and Nick's New Year's resolutions. The actual line in context: "But you know what we're going to do right now? We're about to fucking --". It's about 17 seconds into the clip here:
I feel sorry for poor Vanessa, as she's clearly quite embarrassed about her slip-up. But I snicker at the "those teevee people are still corrupting our youth" media coverage of this incident, even among the "new media" types who should know better.
First, let me just clarify that the FCC regulations that got Bono in trouble for saying the same thing a few years ago do not apply to cable networks like MTV. Second, I refuse to believe that any viewer of MTV's MTV Goes Gold: New Year's Eve 2007 -- or for that matter, any show at all on MTV -- would in any way be offended by hearing this.
When this "controversy" first broke a couple of days ago, MTV publicists issued the requisite mea culpa, explaining that, yes, the show was on a "standard industry 5-second delay", but that "due to the censors being drunk on cheap champagne 'human error'" the slip was not caught.
No, Vanessa Minnillo will not be fired over this "incident". And frankly, given MTV's obvious "eh" reaction to the whole thing, and the FCC's lack of jurisdiction over these things, I wonder why MTV feels any obligation at all to keep the f-bombs off the network.
* vh1.com partying like it's 2003: See if you can pick it out...
* There's a whole post's worth of material in this picture alone: Which post I'll probably be writing soon. Is vh1.com saying that the subtext for the "Best CDs of '06" debate is, "Who was the Producer Of The Year -- Timbaland [JT, Nelly] or Danger Mouse [Gnarls]?" And what would Pharrell and will.i.am have to say about that???
ciaobaby
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
META: Area Music Blogger Gazes Into Navel With Rose-Colored Glasses, Sees Rose-Colored Lint
This is left over from the end-of-the-year holiday crush, but I'm still over the moon about the whole thing.
Like lots of bloggers, I'm always interested to know if anyone out there is actually reading my precious ramblings, or even gives two shits about them. I admit to occasionally doing a Technorati search to see if any other blogs are linking to me [currently, sadly, only my MySpace blog links over here]. And I'm always scanning through my blog to look for any comments that have appeared since my last visit. [Do I need to tell you how many comments I've received at either of my blogs? Do I???]
I know that there are people who are reading, but I have been wondering who might be reading, other than the friends and family I know about.
I recently posted [no links, peruse the archives if you're interested] and jokingly suggested that some well-known music blogger[s] may have stumbled upon my blog and may have been lurking. [BTW, I totally approve of such behavior.] I dropped in some fun "bait", hoping that might lure someone to say hello.
Recently, I received a message from someone[s] -- and I won't reveal who -- who said yes, indeed, she/he/it/them have/had been reading. This was the most exciting news I've received since I've started doing this.
So, if "you" are still reading -- and I don't mean " 'you' ", but "you know who" -- THANK YOU! Thank you for reading, and thank you for reaching out to me. You have affirmed my faith in bloggeranity, and made me the happiest blogger that I personally know.
ciaobaby
BREAKING: Area Music Blogger Posts Positive Review Of "The Dutchess"
One thing we at DHMBIB always look forward to at the start of a new year is The Washington Post's "What's Out and What's In" list for the New Year. The list is always too much of a mish-mash of trying-too-hard-to-make-a-clever-joke-and-missing groaners ["Out: Bible study group...In: Iraq Study Group"] and we're-waaay-cooler-than-you cultural [pop and otherwise] references ["Out: Marchesa...In: Sophia Kokosalaki"] to be taken too seriously, even when it is on the mark ["Out: Anderson Cooper...In: Keith Olbermann"]. And in that respect, this year's list doesn't disappoint.
But one particular entry on this year's list caught our eye: Out: Fergie...In: Lady Sov.
Our friend Chris Cernoch thought this was quite funny, which prompted us to share our belief that "The Dutchess" was, in fact, one of the best mainstream Pop/R&B records of 2006.
Not to take anything away from Lady Sov, who looks to have a legitimate breakout year in the US in 2007. But Fergie's not going anywhere. In fact, we predict that Fergie will remain the go-to Pop/R&B dance Diva through at least the first half of 2007, and that "The Dutchess" will be mined for several hits and will serve as a blueprint for mutliple copycat records yet to come. Nicole Scherzinger, we're looking at you.
Okay, we can already hear you groaning and see you rolling your eyes, but this record really blew us away. Admittedly, Fergie may have benefitted from "the soft bigotry of low expectations", as we only reluctantly clicked "Buy" at the iTMS because we feared the record would contain 13 different mixes of "London Bridge", which was totally annoying us back in August. But we suspected this record would be a huge hit, and probably contained some reasonably good danceable Pop/R&B we could use in some of our DJ gigs.
Boy, were we ever wrong. And were we never so glad to be so wrong.
Beyonce's 2003 smash record "Dangerously In Love" initially set the standard for post-Britney Pop/R&B Divas to follow. [N.B. We place Christina Aguilera in a whole different category of untouchable Pop Diva-ness here at DHMBIB. Hate us if you want.] Beyonce deserved those 5 Grammys she won in 2004. But Gwen Stefani picked up that gauntlet and threw it back down with authority with her 2004 smash "Love. Angel. Music. Baby." "L.A.M.B." was so good, it completely redefined the genre and the public's expectations of early 21st-century Pop/R&B dance Divas.
We were very interested when we heard that Fergie planned a solo record of her own. After all, whatever the haters want to say about Fergie and the Black Eyed Peas, Fergie is the only reason the BEPs are where they are, and why anyone continues to care about them. And will.i.am is an undeniably talented producer. "London Bridge" made us very anxious about the potential disaster ahead, but we at DHMBIB love us a good redemption story, so we decided to give "The Dutchess" a chance.
And boy are we glad we did.
"The Dutchess" has completely reset the bar once again. Go back and listen to "L.A.M.B." again now, and note how outdated and, well, so 2004 it already sounds. In our not-so-humble opinions, "The Dutchess" was even the main reason why Beyonce's latest effort, "B'Day" stumbled so badly -- whatever happened to "Ring The Alarm", anyway??? And you simply cannot hear Gwen's latest effort, "The Sweet Escape", without hearing Fergie's influence -- and Gwen's not-so-subtle attempt to regain her lost ground -- all over the place. "Wind It Up" and "Yummy", anyone???
will.i.am told us with "Pump It" how much he loves to mine "oldies" [in that case, Dick Dale's "Misirlou"] for their potential sample value. On "The Dutchess" he folds part of Little Richard's "The Girl Can't Help It" [although, interestingly, not any part with Little Richard singing] into the brilliant track "Clumsy". It was precisely at the moment when we heard "TGCHI"'s signature horn-and-drum intro, and then again when the classic "she can't help it, the girl can't help it" vocals appeared, that we knew we were listening to something special. Later on in the record, will.i.am reworks The Temptations classic "Get Ready" into the brilliant "Here I Come".
The whole record just overflows with confidence. Fergie knew they had something special here. By the time you get around to the closing track [on the CD -- prepurchasers at the iTMS got 3 bonus tracks!!!] "Finally", you hear Fergie even confident enough to take a shot toward Christina's undisputed place at the top of the pop Diva pedestal, with a well-delivered piano-and-strings-backed torch song.
There are so many good tracks here, it's almost a shame to single out any for sampling. Below we've linked the afore-mentioned "Here I Come" as well as what may be our favorite song on "The Dutchess", the gorgeous love song "All That I Got (The Make Up Song)", which grabs its "money shot" hook from Michael Jackson's "P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)".
Of course, we may be completely out our minds when we call "The Dutchess" one of the best of 2006. Feel free to savage us in the comments or in in your own blog.
Fergie - Here I Come [mp3, via YSI]
Fergie - Here I Come [mp3, via zShare]
Fergie - All That I Got (The Make Up Song) [mp3, via YSI]
Fergie - All That I Got (The Make Up Song) [mp3, via zShare]
Michael Jackson - P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing) (sample) [mp3, via YSI]
Michael Jackson - P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing) (sample) [mp3, via zShare]
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