This Week In Jessica Biel

Welcome to the debut of a new occasional feature at DHMBIB. When I decide to put one together, a post in "This Week In..." will usually feature someone who has been in the news a lot recently or for some unknown reason is appearing in photos everywhere.

As Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears are all charter members of the DHMBIB:TWI... Hall Of Fame, I'm really unlikely to make them subjects of this feature.

For my inaugural post, I present...This Week In Jessica Biel [whoa!]

* Insert your own lame-ass "Golden Globes" joke here:



Jessica Biel likes Maria Menounos's ass.

* Insert another lame-ass "Golden Globes" joke here:



Apparently, Esquire Mag's editors and JT are not the only people who think Jessie is the "Sexiest Woman Alive". Or maybe Diddy just likes him to stare at some boobies.

* So maybe that explains why Derek Jeter was nowhere in sight and JT was trying to pick up Jessie's "Golden Globes":

You may have noticed who was falling down on his job of being the exclusive looker-atter for Jessie's delicious form at Monday's "Golden Globes" -- Derek Jeter, who has been dating Jessie for a couple of months, and with whom he spent New Year's in Puerto Rico [yeah, that woulda been just two weeks earlier...]:



Hmmm. So, consider this item from Friday's installment of Ted Casablanca's "The Awful Truth":

"Raisin' eyebrows elsewhere was Jessica Biel, rumored g-f of Derek Jeter and Esquire's 2005 Sexiest Woman Alive, erasing all memories of her squeaky-clean 7th Heaven days. Jess-babe picked out a pair of remote-controlled vibrating panties along with some other stroke-ready toys from Booty Parlor at the Kari Feinstein Style Lounge in the Hollywood Hills. Now, go tell that to the pulpit set!"

Maybe Jessie was picking up these? [technically SFW, but I wouldn't risk it if I were you...] Who's the lucky son-of-a-gun who gets to "use the remote"???