Tonight In This Week In American Idol [9 May 2007]

Dear Faithful Readers:

Due to a scheduling conflict, I will not be around to watch tonite's results show. So, I won't be liveblogging it -- but that's really okay, because liveblogging the commercial-and-filler-filled results show is not very fun to do -- and the results aren't very fun to read. I will catch a replay of the show after the fact, and I'll probably post some thoughts later this evening.

I also plan to update my liveblog from last nite, so you may find it interesting to skim back through that later -- or, not.

Speaking of the performance show, when I told Faithful Reader and Dear Sister KM that I would be having dinner with friends, she thought that meant I would miss the show. So she graciously wrote up a report [an after-the-fact report, not a "liveblog" -- Ed.] of the festivities and passed it along with permission to reprint it here.

My sister has long been a huge fan of the music of the Brothers Gibb -- hey, shouldn't they actually be called the "Bees Gee"??? [we can actually remember a time when radio DJs thought that joke was funny -- Ed.] -- so her report is very thorough and knowledgeable and slightly less half-assed than mine.

Enjoy the sweetness after the jump...

It's Top 4 night, three ladies, one man. (Wow, Blake is SHORT. Of course, he's standing next to Jordin, who's like 10 feet tall or something.) Ryan's in black suit, white shirt, skinny black tie. It's a good look for him. THIS is American Idol.

We meet the judges. Paula's the only one into the theme of tonight, wearing a feminine version of the Travolta white suit and black shirt, and a gazillion pearls. Seriously. I counted. Randy's in blue; Simon's in a white v-neck T-shirt. Put on your real shirt next time, for God's sake, Simon.

The schedule is tight tonight, Ryan says, and for once he's not exaggerating. We're almost at the three minute mark and we haven't even gotten to the intro of the mentor yet.

Our mentor tonight is Barry Gibb, founder of the Bee Gees, member of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Songwriter's Hall of Fame, producer of about a gazillion diva singers' albums (Diana Ross/Barbra Streisand/Celine Dion are the three named; I can think of a few more), and--according to BILLBOARD--the most successful songwriter/producer ever. (What most people don't know is that the Gibb brothers surpassed Lennon/McCartney several years back as the songwriters with the most #1 songs on the Billboard Hot 100, and Barry alone topped L/M for most songs in a single Billboard Hot 100 Top Ten back in 1978, so for once TPTB aren't exaggerating in their intro piece.) We come from the past into the present with Barry Gibb leading Melinda/LaKisha/Jordin/Blake through "How Deep Is Your Love". Hey, anybody remember Blake doing the arrangement for his Hollywood group sing to "How Deep Is Your Love"? Remember how completely awesome that was? Remember that Blake's the only one of those guys left standing now? You will, because NOTHING like that's going to happen tonight.

Mentor introduction interview: Barry's had problems with his jaw in recent years, so he speaks very softly and sounds like Sean Connery with clenched teeth. That said, there's absolutely nothing wrong with his singing voice; he can still hit all those falsetto notes and all the mid-baritone notes as well. And he looks good for a guy in his 60s. He's excited about these contestants doing his music, and you can tell that he actually is excited...but he also looks a little nervous. (Justifiably so, as we'll see later.) Back in rehearsal-land, the group finishes "How Deep Is Your Love", and he praises them all. "Want to form a group?" he offers. (Now that's not necessarily a bad idea. They really do sound good together.)

Melinda's up first. She's doing "Love You Inside Out". LaToya did this in AI3, and I didn't like it then. Barry Gibb is skeptical, especially because the song is written for a man's falsetto, and Barry Gibb's falsetto is so high that a woman has to at least be able to get into the low-soprano range to match. That's not Melinda's strength, and Barry's advice is to "remember that I sound like a woman when I sing."

Performance: It's not bad. It's a little jazzy. It's kind of funky in a good way. It's also kind of funky in a bad way. I can't listen to this song without remembering that the original lyrics, according to the late, great Maurice Gibb, were "Love you inside and out/Backwards and forwards with my cock hanging out..." Seriously, listen to the recorded version sometime. If you wonder why the word "heart" sounds so much like "hot" or "hock" in some of the chorus renditions, it's because Maurice was being naughty on practically every take.

What was that? How did Melinda do? Sorry, I got distracted. That's because, even though her voice is nice, she sounds incredibly dull, and she's taken the key down because she can't hit the falsetto notes. Somewhere, Maurice Gibb is spinning in his grave. AI needs to bury this song and take it out of the rotation; Idol contestants are now 0-2 singing it.

Judges: Randy really hates it, and you can tell because he's trying so hard not to tell The Great Melinda that he hates it. Paula falls back on the "hard to judge" excuse before she finally says that she didn't like it. Simon declares that it was "more like a backing vocalist's performance" and hated it. Ryan cuts off his comments, which really makes Simon mad. You can tell because he takes it out on the next contestant every time he gets cut off.

Next up: Blake, who takes on "You Should Be Dancing". He plans to beatbox part of it, like last week. Barry Gibb approves wholeheartedly. This SHOULD be right in Blake's wheelhouse...

Performance: ...except that once again, Barry Gibb's falsetto is REALLY, REALLY good and REALLY, REALLY hard for a guy not used to singing falsetto to hit properly, as Blake proves fairly quickly. Barry Gibb has a remarkable voice range and his falsetto is as strong as most singers' normal range voices. This is where the problem lies tonight, because Blake's falsetto is not strong AT ALL, and none of the other contestants, with the exception of MAYBE Jordin, can hit the notes with enough power to not lose their pitch. Blake especially has this problem--he's about a half-step flat on virtually every note, and getting outsung by the backing vocals. When he breaks into the beatboxing, this should be his home-run swing, but it's not: Some of the beatboxing is behind the beat, and he's STILL off-pitch. Then, remarkably, about halfway through the beatboxing bridge, he finally gets on beat and comes on pitch. But it doesn't last, and this performance is just really embarrassing.

Judges: Randy hated the beatboxing and practically begs him not to do it ever again. Paula thought his pitch was off, which is like saying the Titanic may have gotten off-course when it hit the iceberg. Simon said it was "unique" and "terrible", and he's absolutely right on both counts.

Ryan says you can "Tex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ext" the vote in a beatbox rhythm. Scarily, it's better than Blake's BB so far.

Next, LaKisha is taking on "Staying Alive". She's slowing the beat down and staying in alto. Barry Gibb isn't wild about the fact that she's staying so low that her voice bottoms out on the chorus. He sings the chorus and his falsetto is still just as beautiful as ever. He tells her not to be afraid to go up and hit the top notes, because he thinks they're in her range. She sings it with him, just to prove that she actually CAN hit the notes, and then says she'll follow his advice...

Performance: ...and then, as usual, completely ignores the mentor's advice, staying fully down in her alto, then bailing out on the singing completely when the melody gets too low, riffing on the chorus while the backing vocalists do all the heavy lifting. This, folks, is absolutely dreadful. She truly sucks. "Staying Alive" has been successfully updated by rappers and R&B singers before, but this just isn't working. The end-of-show rehearsal clip shows that during rehearsal, she tried a little falsetto, but then bailed on it almost immediately, making it sound really bad. She's having throat problems, as we discover later in the show, but nobody's voice at this stage of the competition is at its best, and that's not a good-enough excuse for this performance.

Judges: Randy thought it was way too disjointed when she would stop singing during the chorus. Paula says the crowd was on their feet when she came out, but then she slowed the tempo down, which didn't work: "They want to DANCE!" Simon says it's a good thing they're all singing two songs tonight, because this one was just "terrible" and that she's regressed in her style and is now back to "shouting". Damn, Simon, that was cold-blooded, harsh, and RIGHT ON POINT.

The show goes to commercial. Rob and I exchange a phone call at this point, and we both agree: This first half sucks so far. I remind him that AI2 did Bee Gees night and it went over great, with Josh and Clay doing dueling "To Love Somebody" versions and Ruben getting a good groove on during "How Can You Mend A Broken Heart?" Rob wonders if this is a Barry Gibb vs. Robin Gibb thing--Barry with his mid-range baritone and high falsetto; Robin with his mid-range tenor and lower falsetto--and I disagree. It's true that every song chosen so far is a Barry Gibb song--that is, Barry sang lead--but that doesn't excuse the contestants failing to completely grasp any of the melodies so far. He thinks it's because the songs are 30 years old. I think it's because this is a relatively weak group of contestants and none of them have the right voice ranges for these songs. Again, AI2, Clay Aiken's nearly 2-octave range and Josh Gracin's strong tenor voice had zero trouble, and even 1-octave Ruben found a song that worked for him. The only one who struggled that night was Kim Locke, and that's because she has the same basic limitations as Kiki and Melinda: She's an alto with a weak soprano range and a tendency to bottom out at the lower end of her range. Phil wouldn't have had nearly the issues with tonight's theme. Neither would Haley. Chris Sligh would have rocked it. Heck, even Sanjaya could have found a song in the Gibb Brothers' massive song library. What do all those contestants have in common? They have big voices (except for Sanjaya) and broad ranges. That's what you need to have to carry off a Bee Gees song.

Return to show. Ryan and Jordin in the "Coca-Cola Keepin' It Real" section, with a "question" about how what she's learned so far. Wisely, she does not mention posing erotically at war memorials (SNAP!) or wearing as little clothing as possible onstage (SNAP-SQUARED!).

Jordin's singing "To Love Somebody". This, and "Words", are my two favorite Barry Gibb songs ever. What they both have in common is the blue-eyed soul and a range that goes from mid-falsetto to mid-baritone. And, guess what, Jordin's range is at least close to that. So this song is actually a perfect match for her. Barry looks unsure at first, but eventually comes around, especially when Jordin starts soaring into her upper range. "A couple of hundred people have recorded this song," he says, "but I've never heard a better version than Jordin's."

Performance: Jordin is the first one tonight to get the Gibbs' blue-eyed soul right. The best version of this song I've ever heard recorded was by the Bee Gees in a live concert in 1976 (seriously, get "Here At Last...Bee Gees...Live", and hear these songs when all three brothers were at their finest), with Barry Gibb giving it the Otis Redding treatment. (FWIW, Barry and Robin wrote this song for Otis Redding. He died in a plane crash one day before he was supposed to go into the studio and record it.) The second best was Clay Aiken in AI2, doing his best Barry Gibb impersonation (and I've always felt like Clay should have recorded this for one of his albums; it's that good). This version, by Jordin? The third best.

Judges: Randy loved the Mariah Carey vibe. Paula declares it the best vocal so far. Simon agrees with both judges.

First half is over, and the rankings:

Jordin

(gap)

Melinda

(enormous gap)

Blake

(small gap)

LaKisha

Kiki's in real trouble here, folks. She knows she's on the bubble and needs a real killer performance here, and the only thing she's killed so far is the first song. Blake's not any better, and this is the first real sign of weakness Melinda's shown.

Back for the second half, starting with the Coca-Cola segment, where Ryan asks what the first tape or CD Melinda ever bought for herself was. Melinda says it was a tape and reminds everyone that she's OLD (bad move, MindyDoo), and that it was Michael Jackson's "Bad", which her mom crossed out on the inner liner and wrote "Good" instead. MindyDoo is so adorable.

Melinda's second choice is "How Can You Mend A Broken Heart". This is a song better suited to Melinda's range. Barry doesn't like the fact that she keeps reworking the chorus to remove the part "How can a loser ever win", but Melinda explains that she's trying not to jinx herself with "loser" or words like that. Barry laughs and agrees that's not a bad answer.

Performance: Outstanding. She doesn't sing the "loser" line, and she turns it into a bluesy jazz club tune. Fantastic. Her key change is phenomenal. This is a song with a fairly small range and it's been remade a gazillion times by R&B artists, so it's not hard to get a version of it that practically anybody can sing. That said, she's just amazing.

Judges: Randy loved it. Paula think she's a great throwback but wants her to be less technical and more emotional. Simon notes that Melinda looks like she doesn't understand a word of that. Then he tells her that the second half of the song probably put her into the semi-finals (top 3). I agree that this punched her ticket to next week, but she's in real trouble after that. I think she'll get sabotaged by either Clive Davis, the judges, or both, to make room for Jordin to make the finals instead of her.

Blake's second choice is "This Is Where I Came In", one of the Gibbs' late career songs. I really like this song, and it's one of the last ones the three Gibbs recorded together before Maurice's death. Barry thinks it's a really odd choice, because it's a relatively unknown tune, and notes that he thought it could have been a huge hit when it was first released. "I still do," he continues. "Maybe this version will be the one."

Performance: Blake's boy-banded the backbeat and is doing the argyle sweater look again. He's really getting into it and mixing both great vocals and beatboxing to great effect. Compared to the first song, this is out-freaking-standing.

Judges: Randy liked it better than the first song but thinks it would have been better without beatboxing. Paula likes that Blake is the "contemporary rebel" of the competition and that, more importantly, he stayed on pitch throughout the song. Simon hated the song (because he doesn't know it), thought it was a bad song choice (because he doesn't know it), and thought Blake really stumbled tonight, especially with this song (because he doesn't know it). Sensing a theme here?

Ryan vamps in the audience with Judge Judy (!) and Simon's mother, and pimps the songwriting competition. Thought we were tight on time tonight, Ryan.

LaKisha's second song is "Run To Me". I like "Run To Me" (from the early 70s), but again it's not one of the Bee Gees' better-known tunes (it's from their transition from 60s Brit-Pop to 70's blue-eyed soul, and it's got a little bit of both styles in it). Barry once more tells her to stop hanging around the alto range and actually go up and hit the big notes.

Performance: This time, she listens to Barry and actually does strike some of the higher notes during the chorus and key change. It's miles better than her first one...until the last note, which she totally biffs because she's blown her voice out. Don't worry, KiKi, you're going home tomorrow night anyway, so you'll have time to rest before the tour.

Judges: Randy really liked it and says "Don't worry about that last note". KiKi tries to thank him and her voice really is gone. The words are raspy and hoarse. Paula tells her that she did great and not to beat herself up over the last note. (Translation: Look, audience, LaKisha's blown her voice out! She can't go on! Won't you send her home and let her rest?) Simon puts forth TPTB's official message tonight, which is that "you and Blake are very vulnerable tonight".

Nine minutes to go. Will they make it without missing the upcut to HOUSE?

Back from commercial, and it's Jordin's last go-round. She's doing "Woman In Love". O.K., this is a guaranteed ticket-puncher to next week if she can pull it off. She's already proven she can do this kind of song before with "I Who Have Nothing". Barry Gibb is practically offering to produce her first album for her. She really does sound great in practice.

Performance: Simple, beautiful, rich-voiced. Everybody says never take on Streisand on this show, but actually for a contestant with a range like Jordin's, Streisand is the perfect performer to take on. Babs has MAYBE an 11-note range, so all of her songs are arranged to take maximum advantage of that. This song is actually one of the few Babs songs that pushes her range to its max, and that's why it was such a huge hit in the late 70s--it didn't sound ANYTHING like what Babs had ever done. Jordin, wisely, sticks to the basic arrangement, hits every note beautifully (she does shout a little bit near the end), and just blows everybody out of the water tonight. She's got a real young Mariah Carey look and sound to her tonight, and she's wearing a gorgeous full-length dress with lots of cleavage showing.

Judges: Randy thought it wasn't her best, but it was great, and offers "props to Barry Gibb for a great bunch of songs tonight" (Translation: The Gibbs have 40 years worth of material to choose from and y'all chose THOSE? Damn...). Paula can't bring herself to criticize Jordin, but neither can she form a coherent sentence. Either her happy pills finally kicked in, or she's been told not to praise Jordin to get her some sympathy votes (and either one is possible, frankly). Simon brings out the "pageanty" hammer and the "you're so young but you sound so old" slam to make sure the take-home message is transmitted correctly: "Jordin sang great, right? But the judges hated her! You've got to vote for her en masse!"

Recap. They miss the 2100 EST5EDT upcut, as usual, this time a little over 30 seconds into the recap before they run over. (I'm betting money ABC is already preparing their FCC protest, as they've done this all season long and it cuts into the turn-over rate to DANCING WITH THE STARS. I'm sure that's just a coincidence. Only, not.) The rehearsal clips show Melinda sounded good, Blake sounded a LOT better in rehearsal, KiKi sounded a lot WORSE, and Jordin was excellent.

And then...the show turns awesome. We get our first "Seacrest--OUT!" of the entire season at 2102 EST5EDT. That made the entire evening worthwhile...almost.

My order from first half to second half didn't change, except Jordin's lead over Melinda is bigger. Blake and Kiki will probably be the bottom 2, and it'll be Kiki going home because of Blake probably picking up most of Chris' fans (and some of Phil's, too).

Now, for my biggest bugaboo about tonight's show: SONG CHOICE.

Remember at the beginning of the show, when we learned that Barry Gibb's in the R&R HOF, the Songwriter HOF, most successful songwriter/producer combo ever, etc.? None of those are exaggerations. The Bee Gees catalog from 1975 to 1979 ALONE has enough awesome material in it to fill a half-dozen AI shows. Let's think about what we didn't hear tonight:

-- "Emotion", most recently by Destiny's Child.
-- "Islands In The Stream", Kenny Rogers/Dolly Parton.
-- "If I Can't Have You", Yvonne Elliman, whose range is very similar to Melinda and KiKi's. Ditto "Love Me", also recorded by Elliman.
-- "I Just Want To Be Your Everything", Andy Gibb (written by Barry).
-- "Rest Your Love On Me Awhile", Olivia Newton-John.
-- "More Than A Woman", Tavares
-- "Nights on Broadway", which Ruben--RUBEN!--did in AI2 and Constantine did in AI4, both very well.
-- "How Deep Is Your Love" (though they might be saving that for the group number).

I could list about two dozen more and still not run out of material. Why, in the name of all that is good and holy, didn't they pick one of THESE? Instead, we get one real uptempo tune ("You Should Be Dancing"), two disco dance tunes turned into slow grooves ("Love You Inside Out" and "Stayin' Alive"), and the rest were ballads. BALLADS. Think about this for a minute. You have as your "mentor" the songwriter whose mid-70s catalog virtually DEFINED "disco" (in fact, IIRC, "Jive Talkin'" was the first #1 song on the newly-lauched Billboard Disco chart in 1975), he's giving over his entire catalog to you, and all you can pick are BALLADS? Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot, with a capital "Foxtrot", is going on here?

And finally, a check of DialIdol. DI this season has been more indicative of trends than predictive. Over the past few weeks, Melinda's been sinking loike a rock, Jordin's rising, and Blake is hot on her heels. DI, so far this season, has not had ONE contestant whose MoE kept them in the "safe" range, get voted out. NOT ONE. So, at 0300 EST5EDT DI had this to say:

1. Blake (22.4, MoE 2.6)
2. Jordin (22.2, MoE 2.6)

(Meaning, in essence, they're tied, and so far ahead of the 3-4 spots that neither is in any danger.)

3. Melinda (12.0, MoE 2.7)
4. LaKisha (11.6, MoE 2.8)

(Meaning the judges may indeed get their "shocking elimination" yet this season, because MindyDoo going out in 4th would be huge. We're talking Chris Daughtry huge, people. This is your front-runner and best performer, and she's on the verge of elimination. Wow.)

--Kimberly Murphy -- kimmurphysmith@yahoo.com
http://stores.ebay.com/kimberlyknits-fashion-boutique?refid=store