This Week In Christina Aguilera: 23 February Edition

[Rob, didn't you already do a "This Week In Christina Aguilera" post, like, earlier this week???]

Okay, it's no secret that we here at DHMBIB <3-with-a-capital-"3" Xtina.

But seriously, is there anyone in music who has had a better two weeks?

Here are some of the things that Xtina has done in the last couple of weeks:

* Appeared as Ellen Degeneres's featured guest and musical performer on her 600th show:



[Holy flurking shnit!!! Check out those big-ass roses!!! -- Ed.]



[Try not to get turned on when Xtina talks about "Naked Sunday". Is it getting hot in here??? -- Ed.]



[Xtina can dress appropriately for daytime TV meant for stay-at-home Moms, retirees, and bloggers? Who knew??? -- Ed.]

* Brought the Grammy house down with a performance of James Brown's "It's A Man's Man's Man's World":



[Oh, yeah -- and she actually WON a Grammy. Best Female Pop Vocal Performance for "Ain't No Other Man" -- Ed.]

* Brought the NBA All-Star Game house down with performances of her own "Ain't No Other Man" and "Candy Man":



[Let's see how long it takes the NBA to C&D YouTube over this version -- Ed.]

* And yesterday, she premiered her new video for "Candy Man" on TRL:



Four points to discuss about this last item:

1) I'm sure you're grumbling a little bit right now about how you're supposedly already "sick" of hearing this song. It's been so ubiquitous in 3 different national ad campaigns that you're probably saying to yourself, "You mean, there wasn't a 'video' already??? And what qualifies as a 'music video' nowadays, anyway???"

Whatevs. Stop fake-hating and enjoy.

[P.S. Our iPods have been rocking out to "Candy Man" since September, when our wise-beyond-her-years friend gave us Back To Basics as a birthday present.]

2) Vanessa Minnillo apparently has morphed into Katharine McPhee. Hey, Nick Lachey -- that might just qualify as an UPGRADE!!!

3) [Item #3 was supposed to be about how long this clip would last on Google Video given that MTV Networks parent Viacom has been C&D'ing Google recently because Google refused to pay them gobs of money over copyrighted Viacom material. But the internets reminded me that MTVN reached a separate agreement with Google last year that presumably makes this clip kosher. Move along. Nothing to see here.] And...

4) TRL is still on the air???

Sure, Xtina has had a few good things happen in her life the last couple of weeks. But, alas, she hasn't quite "done it all". Here are some of the things Xtina has NOT done in the last couple of weeks.

* Enter rehab and leave in less than 24 hours...

* Twice...

* Enter rehab for a third time...

* Shave off her hair to reassert control over her life to spite her mother to foil a threat to have her hair drug-tested...

* Assault an SUV with an umbrella...and,



* Make anyone think that KEVIN FUCKING FEDERLINE would be a better custodial parent than she is.

In 2000, Christina Aguilera defeated Britney Spears for the Best New Artist award. Xtina has since won 4 career Grammys and 1 Latin Grammy. Britney Spears has exactly 0 career Grammys on her resume.

In 2000, did Grammy make the right call???