This Week In Tonight In American Idol [15 April 2008]

7:55 PM: Top 7 Week is here, and tonite's "theme" -- or possibly just "mentor" -- is Mariah Carey.

Mariah, whom no one on Idol should ever sing.

Mariah, who just oh-so-coincidentally has a new album dropping...wait for it...TODAY!

8:00 PM: It's on!

Minnie Driver and Teri Hatcher are in the house tonite. I guess TPTB insist on perpetuating the myth that Ryan is an "eligible bachelor".

Ryan reminds us that last week's elimination of Michael Johns was "shocking(!)", and that every vote is "important". So, Irish-Americans For Carly, time to step it up!

Okay, Mariah is just a "mentor" this week. Whew!

8:04 PM: So maybe the Idols are doing an all-Mariah show after all? This will be bad for everyone, except possibly Syesha and Carly.

Write. It. Down.

8:05 PM: First up tonite is David A.

Ruh roh!

David is taking on "We Are Not Afraid", which is not only a MARIAH FUCKING CAREY song, but is also a WHITNEY FUCKING HOUSTON song. This could be a very. bad. idea.

David's performance is good, but I must confess I'm tiring of his one-trick-cough-Clay-Aiken-cough-pony act.

Randy: worried about tonite...you picked one of the toughest songs...i've said it before...you can sing anything...that was THA BOMB!
Paula: i know Mariah was beaming, because you made her proud...
Simon: i would agree...that was very good...you set the benchmark for the guys...you performed that very well...

8:13 PM: Next up, interestingly, is Carly. Is David Cook next???

BTW, I'm LOVING Carly's look tonite. She's covered up her sleeve tatoo -- and is rocking her "shoes" in the process.

Carly is taking on "Without You", but of course she's doing Mariah's cover of the Badfinger track. Mariah encourages Carly to go outside her normal range and take a chance.

I'm digging Carly's restrained opening, and her power finish. Very faithful to both the original and the cover.

Randy: i like that you challenged yourself with this big song...i liked the middle and the power...but you gotta believe and trust in yourself that you've got that lower range too...the beginning was a little loosey-goosey for me...it was good...
Paula: I loved that you showed vocal restraint...you made it your own...
Simon: I wanted to hear you sing this song before Mariah nite...did you pull it off? i don't think you did...
[audience boos]
Simon: i think you're over-thinking everything...i think you're wound-up...i think it was an okay version...
Paula: you gotta trust yourself...
Randy: you can do it, you can do it...

8:24 PM: Next up is Syesha, who has to be the "favorite" on Mariah nite. Syesha is taking on "Vanishing", one of the great Mariah songs long-forgotten from her debut album -- ya know, the one with "Vision Of Love" on it???

Syesha is not stealing her golden opportunity to shine.

This is pitchy and unnecessarily screamy. Much worse than Carly.

But, like Carly, Syesha is ROCKING that champagne-colored dress.

Randy: the toughest song of the nite vocally...you did a good job on it, all things considered...a couple of pitchy moments...
Paula: you're smart because you picked a song that not many people know, and can't compare you to her...tonite was unbelievably magical...
Simon: technically, very good indeed...but at this stage of the competition, i wouldn't have picked a song that not too many people know...
Paula: but people loved it, i don't think it matters whether they knew it...
Ryan: how do you feel about the show so far?
Simon: David Archuleta has stolen the show, and he's the one to beat...
Paula: and Syesha...

Okay, SERIOUSLY!

Are the judges in the tank for Syesha tonite? In the anti-tank for Carly?

Carly was MUCH better than Syesha tonite.

WTF WAS THAT???

8:33 PM: Next up is Brooke.

Idol's stylists have really stepped it up tonite. All of the women look fabulous!

Brooke will be taking on "Hero", which Mariah tells us she wrote for Gloria Estefan. Brooke is strumming a guitar while rehearsing with Mariah.

But now she's playing the piano instead?

Okay, it just hit me why Brooke is still on Idol.

Clive wants her as his Norah-killer.

That's the only explanation.

Her performance is good, but nothing spectacular.

Randy: i liked the whole singer-songwriter vibe...i was digging it until the bridge...it threw me a little bit...
[BREAKING! Brooke White talks back to an Idol judge. Brooke, some unsolicited advice -- STFU!]
Randy: at the end, i could feel you losing a little self-confidence...
Paula: every ounce of you is totally authentic to who you are...this unplugged version was a very brave thing to do...you sounded good, except for a few off notes...
Simon: i don't think you had much choice other than to do what you did...other than that, it was a bit like ordering a hamburger and only getting the bun...the vital ingredient -- the bit in the middle -- was missing, the important part, because i don't think your voice is strong enough to carry that song...
[thus proceeds an argument among the judges and Ryan along the lines of "Where's The Beef?"]

8:39 PM: Next up is Kristy Lee. Kristy Lee is taking on "Forever".

That was not bad at all. Kristy Lee has brought it 2 weeks in a row.

Who woulda thunk it a month ago???

Randy: i didn't think that was amazing -- there were a coupla pitchy notes in the first part...but you definitely started stepping up towards the end...
Paula: it wasn't just the end...i think you're a very smart girl because you have this all worked out in your plans...Kristy Lee Cook, i'm like "ohmigod!" i was blown away...you could have a hit with that in country...
Simon: you didn't give me chills...i think you managed with what you could...a little bit whiney at times...but it wasn't ever going to be an advantage at times...i think you were quite smart...it just wasn't great...
Paula: ALL THE GIRLS LOOK BEAUTIFUL TONITE!

8:48 PM: Next up is David C. David is taking on "Always Be My Baby". Mariah is surprised, because she's never envisioned Chris Daughtry singing one of her songs.

Oh, quel suprise. David gives the song the full-on Daughtry-Stapp treatment. Throw in a little...Cornell...for good measure.

Hey, it was great in that Daughtry way. David knows who he is.

Randy: more than almost anyone on this show right now, you're ready to make an album...you're a hot recording artist...that was the most brilliant performance yet this season...
[Randy gives David a Standing O!]
Paula: that song could be on a movie soundtrack right now...and who knows -- maybe it just will...you're it!
Randy: it was like coming out of karaoke hell into a breath of fresh air...it was original, it was daring, it stood out by a mile, and this is the sign of a great potential artist -- someone who takes risks...

8:57 PM: Looks like someone is going to miss the upcut! And I hope my TiVo holds out this week!

Last up tonite is Jason. Jason is taking on "I Don't Wanna Cry", which is only the second-best track on Mariah's debut album.

Jason has set a high bar for himself.

Jason is performing with a bandette of 2 acoustic guitarists and a bongo-er.

That was a nice performance, but I think David C. took him on "making it your own"

Randy: i didn't really love that...i felt like i was at a weird beach luau and somebody was playing some music in the distance...i didn't really get it...
[Simon doesn't know what a "luau" is]
Paula: i'd love to be at that luau, listening all nite long...you're getting so confident and so in that zone...
Simon: i'm going to have to agree with Paula...it wasn't the best vocal, but it was identifiably you...it was a cool version...the guys completely won the nite...

INSTA-REACTION coming in a few minutes...

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WaPo teevee columnist Lisa de Moraes also watches and blogs about Idol for washingtonpost.com -- she "watches American Idol so you don't have to". de Moraes believes that Simon is the only judge worth listening to.

Well, tonite, Simon got it right -- the men completely dominated the women. They didn't just dominate -- I think, tonite, every one of the men was better than every one of the women.

Here is my INSTA-RANK:

1) David C.
2) David A.
3) Jason
4) Carly
5) Kristy Lee
6) Brooke
7) Syesha

It's hard for me to write that, for multiple reasons. It's hard for me to rank David A. so high, because he annoys me on so, so many levels. It's hard for me to rank Jason so high, because he's a YouTube sensation, and nothing more. It's hard for me to rank Carly so low, because she can actually sing -- this is a "singing competiton", right Simon??? And it's hard for me to rank Syesha at the bottom, because I like her.

But this is how I feel about tonite's performances.

Which is not how I feel the results are going to go.

Three points to take away:

1) David C. is still the front-runner. Even though I believe David A. has a "bigger fanbase" than David C., David C. is probably most helped by the elimination of Michael. Plus, David C. is still "bringing it", and his take on "Always Be My Baby", though Daughtry-esque, was still unique and my favorite of the nite. We'll see how this plays out, as the "weaker" contestants are eliminated, and their fanbases shift loyalties.

2) Brooke, Kristy Lee, and Syesha are still surviving by exceeding low expectations. By all rights, the Idol "Final Four" should have been a "struggle to the death" between (in NO particular order) Carly, David A., David C., and Michael. Michael's elimination last week obviously scuttled that possibility, but, SERIOUSLY, is there anyone who can explain why Kristy Lee is STILL in this competition???

3) Carly is in REAL trouble tonite. I thought Carly actually gave the BEST performance among the women tonite, but the bar is very high for her. Did the judges help or hurt her when they repeatedly stressed -- the truth -- that she needs to have more confidence in herself and her performance? Carly has one of the "weaknesses" that plagued Katharine McPhee 2 years ago -- she looks uncomfortable on the stage, not knowing where -- or how -- to stand, or how to engage the audience. Recall that Kat outlasted Chris Daughtry, so things could still work in her favor, but it would help if she "opened up" a bit more. She still looks like she's performing on an 8'x10' stage in the back of the bar.

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PREDICTED BOTTOM THREE:

Carly, Kristy Lee, Syesha

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WHO'S GOING HOME?:

Carly...sadly...

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PAULA ABDUL OUT-OF-IT SCALE:

It was going to be only about 7/10, until that whole "where's the beef?" thing started. Maybe more like 8/10.

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SUGGESTED POSSIBLE BLOG-POST TITLES FOR BLOGGERS WHO WILL RECAP TONIGHT'S SHOW TOMORROW:

UPDATED!!! (sorry, long day):

Yeah, those headlines below would obviously be more appropriate for THURSDAY's write-up of WEDNESDAY's elimination show. Some better headlines for WEDNESDAY's write-up of TUESDAY's performance might be:

* "American Idol Wants To Know: Who Will Still Be There Next Week?"
* "American Idol Wants To Know: Whose 'Fantasy' Will End This Week?"
* Our American Idols Gave It Their All This Week, But Who Will Survive?"
* Our American Idols Say To The Voting Public: 'Don't Forget About Us'"

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POSSIBLE RESULTS-SHOW THURSDAY HEADLINES:

* "American Idol Toys With [eliminated Idol]'s 'Emotions', Destroys [his/her] Dreams Anyway"
* "American Idol Destroys [eliminated Idol]'s 'Fantasy' Of Being Your Next American Idol"
* [elimnated Idol] Gave It [his/her] All, But That Was Not Enough To Avoid Elimination from American Idol"
* "American Idol Viewers Turn Out To Be A 'Heartbreaker' For [elimiated Idol]'s Dreams"
* "American Idol Viewers To [elimnated Idol]: 'We DON'T Belong Together'"

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UPDATED, AFTER "THE POLLS" HAVE CLOSED:

DialIdol has some interesting numbers for us this morning...

1) David C.
2) David A.
3) Jason
4) Kristy Lee
(above all "safe"; below all "not safe")
5) Carly
6) Brooke
7) Syesha

Hmmm, looks an awful lot like my list, with only Carly and Kristy Lee flipped at 4-5 -- and with the caveat that Kristy Lee is safe at #4. Also, DialIdol has Brooke and Syesha with almost exactly the same vote, while Carly has an approximate 20% lead on both. That gives me hope that Carly may survive one more week, and perhaps start listening to the people who are trying to help her.