This Week In Tonight In American Idol [29 April 2008]

7:55 PM: Top 5 Week is here, and Neil Diamond is in the house to mentor our Idols.

The Idols will each be singing two songs tonite. Which means we're guaran-damn-teed to miss the 9:00 PM upcut.

Sorry, Hell's Kitchen fans.

8:00 PM: Neil Diamond has an extensive catalog of well-known, well-loved pop hits. But is he a draw for the younger viewers Idol is hemorrhaging these days? We'll find out tomorrow and Thursday, for sure.

8:02 PM: The contestants won't hear from the judges until after their second performance. Is this new?

First up tonite is Jason.

RUH-ROH!!!

Jason will take on "Forever In Blue Jeans" and September Morn". Jason looks uncomfortable during the mentoring session, but ND thinks he'll be fine once he hits the stage.

ND's easy-going strummy pop style actually should fit Jason well.

Okay, here's Jason.

This is actually quite enjoyable. Jason's thin voice disserves him as he tries to hit the higher, more powerful notes, but this is perfectly listenable.

8:07 PM: Here's a new iPod+iTunes commercial I haven't yet seen. "Shut Up And Let Me Go", by The Ting Tings. Not bad. Catchy.

8:09 PM: Next up is David C. David will be taking on "I'm Alive" and "All I Really Need Is You".

ND is surprised by David's song choices, calling them "songs most people have never heard before" and David's choices "gutsy". But ND confesses that David gave him goose bumps during rehearsals.

David's playing an electric guitar sporting the initials of his brother, Adam. David's "rock star" jacket also rocks AC's initials.

David's performance is electric and very Ed-Kowalczyk-tastic, but it doesn't really show off his range. I'm predicting at least one "that was just a'ight for me, Dawg" from the judges.

8:13 PM: Next up is Brooke. Brooke will be taking on "I'm A Believer" with a guitar, and "I Am, I Said" with a piano. ND suggests that she change the line "I was New York-born and -raised" to I was Arizona..."

Neil Diamond week is really exposing the limited vocal ranges of our Idols. I think Brooke has sung only three different notes in this performance.

That was pretty meh overall.

8:19 PM: Next up LickyLips David A. Not surprisingly, David is taking on "Sweet Caroline" and "Coming To America". ND is confident he'll do just fine.

Not surprisingly, LickyLips gives the same performance he gives every time, which means it's by far the best of the nite to this point.

8:23 PM: Last up is Syesha. Syesha is taking on "Hello Again" and "Thank The Lord For The Night Time". ND thinks she'll do great.

Here's Syesha singing "Hello Again", which I will always associate with that scene in Saving Silverman where Neil serenades Jason Biggs from the balcony. Flix it if you have no idea what I'm talking about.

It's got Jack Black and Steve Zahn in it, people!!!

Okay, Syesha is not bad, but she waaaaay oversang that song.

8:25 PM: Ryan brings out all of the Idols for a quick verdict from the judges...

Randy...Jason: okay, a'ight...David C.: very good, very strong...Brooke: better than last week, karaoke...David A.: the bomb...Syesha: in the zone, strong...
Paula...

Paula Abdul Out-Of-It-Scale: 11 out of 10!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paula thinks Jason has already performed twice!!!!!!!!

Paula...Jason: 1st performance, loved hearing lower register...2d performance, your usual charm was missing, not fighting hard enough to make the Top 4...

[after Ryan and the judges inform Paula Jason has only performed once...]

Simon: Paula, who was your favorite?
Paula: David C., you were fantastic...

Simon...you're all very lucky you've got two songs...Jason: forgettable...David C.: just above average...Brooke: a nightmare...

Randaula: NO!

Simon...David A.: amateurish...Syesha: old-fashioned...

Simon: you are Top 5 contestants...i want to see and hear the performance of a lifetime second time around...

8:31 PM: Jason is back with "September Morn".

It's almost exactly as meh-tacular as his first performance.

Jason is in real trouble this week.

Randy: i don't know what's happening for you tonight...that was just another okay, whatever, performance for me...definitely not the best...
Paula: it was safe...you need to get out of your comfort zone...c'mon!
Simon: we don't recognize you at the moment...for the last two weeks, this is not the Jason we put into the competition...there was no attempt to make the arrangement your own...you struggled through both songs...they were both forgettable...

8:36 PM: Next up is David C., singing "All I Really Need Is You".

David's rocking an acoustic guitar this time.

David really knows who he is. I can't wait to see how his style fares against LickyLips in the final.

Very nice, David.

Randy: you rocked the house again!...
Paula: you took two Neil Diamond songs that are not very well known, and you were the only one able to really pull it off...i feel like i'm already looking at the American Idol...
Simon: i'm going to be honest with you -- i thought the first song was okay, i thought the second song was brilliant...you actually made that feel like that song was written this year...you changed the arrangement, you made it work for you...well done...

8:43 PM: Here's Brooke, and she's back in talk-back mode. Brooke is singing "I Am, I Said".

Brooke has more range and power this time. She was listening a little bit to the judges.

This is enjoyable.

Randy: one of the tougher Neil Diamond songs to sing...nice job...
Paula: showed your vulnerability...showed how you connect...everyone loves who you are...that just works...
Simon: i really hated the first song -- it was like a girls' night out at the karaoke bar...but this is the Brooke we like, sitting behind the piano...it wasn't incredible, but it was a million times better than the first song...

8:47 PM: LickyLips is back with "Coming To America".

LickyLips gives THE SAME G-D PERFORMANCE HE GIVES EVERY G-D TIME HE PERFORMS.

I mean, seriously!!!!!!!!

I was actually underwhelmed by that.

Why would I buy a CD from this 1/2-trick pony???

Randy: definitely in the zone...another good performance...
Paula: the right song for...i love you, you're brilliant...
Simon: smart choice of song...

[Simon next says "it ticked all the boxes", which briefly gets Randy and Fox censors nervous because, with his accent, it sounded like he said "tickled the boxes"...i have no idea what that might mean, BTW...]

Simon: absolutely the right performance...

8:54 PM: Next up is Syesha, singing "Thank The Lord For The Night Time".

I haven't heard this song in a while, but I have a vague feeling that she has changed the key to fit her voice. It sounds...off.

I dunno...

Randy: in the zone...coulda been on Broadway...
Paula: first song, that vulnerable song is you, your magic...second song, a whole different side, that's your performance theatre piece...could be a pop singer, Corinne Baily Rae...softness in your voice...

Simon-to-Paula: so you liked her? this is officially the strangest show we have ever done...

Simon: you are a very good actress-singer...i think, however, you may be in trouble tonite...

Syesha: why?

Simon: because there's only five of you left...i don't think you had a really memorable second song like some of the others tonite...

Randaula: we'll see!

Insta-Reaction in 15-ish minutes...

* * * * *

INSTA-REACTION:

1) David C.
2) David A.
[huuuuuuuge gap here]
3) Brooke
4) Syesha
5) Jason

Is there any doubt in the way this contest would be shaping up if this were, say, Season 2? With Michael and Carly gone, no one remaining in the contest comes anywhere near either of the Davids in terms of having the vocal chops to be "the next American Idol". I feel like we're just marking time now, until the inevitable showdown three weeks from now.

And if I'm feeling that, is everyone else? And what does that portend for Idol's struggling ratings, as the feel of inevitability kicks in, and the need to be glued to the teevee every week dissipates?

Of course, this feel of inevitability could also point toward an upcoming SHOCKING! ELIMINATION! -- paging Chris Daughtry! -- so, maybe the fanbases of the remaining contestants should remain fully engaged.

On to tonight's performances...

Although both Davids stayed largely within their comfort zones tonite, David Cook's maturity advantage seems to be playing in his favor in his battle against David Archuleta. While David A. seems to be stuck in his Dadager-dictated Idol-friendly stylistic groove-rut, David Cook's original-for-you-the-viewer arrangements and confident performances continue to wow and impress the judges and voters. And me. I think Cookie took the night, outperforming on two unfamiliar ND songs while LickyLips was just Doolittle-y solid on the two most obvious song choices in the history of American Idol.

Okay, I might be exaggerating a bit, but I'm so over David Archuleta, I can barely articulate it. Seriously, someone thinks this guy will be a star? Clarkson, Underwood, Daughtry?

Srsly???

As for the rest of the bunch, I was most disappointed in Jason tonite. I mildly enjoyed Jason's first performance -- the soft bigotry of low expectations, I suspect -- but after I heard the "now press repeat" second performance, I had to discount his nite by ticking off his "phoning it in" boxes. And I thought ND-nite might actually work with Jason's style. Hmph.

Brooke and Syesha were both just-okay-and-just-a'ight for me tonite. But based on Syesha's history of Bottom-Three-Two-ishness, I'm afraid she'll drift down there again.

Bottom 2:

Jason, Syesha

Who will go?

Sadly, probably Syesha.

* * * * *

Okay, so didya catch Paula telling David C. after his second performance, "I feel like I'm already looking at the American Idol"?

We've already heard the judges tell Cookie that he was the only one who already looked like a star who could be on the radio right now, but I think this is the first time I've heard someone use the two "A" "I" words. This reminded me of the iconic moment from Top 3 Week of Season 3, when after Fantasia Barrino performed "The Greatest Love Of All", Simon's critique consisted solely of him asking her, "What does that say behind you?", to which Fantasia embarrassedly-but-justifiably responded, "American Idol".

Stay tuned...

* * * * *

UPDATED WEDNESDAY AM:

The polls are now closed, and the DialIdol numbers are in...

1) Syesha (safe)
2) David C. (safe)
3) David A.
4) Jason
5) Brooke

Interesting results there. I thought Syesha might be in real trouble after a good and a whaaaaa? performance, and given that her support has always been weaker than the other contestants. But I'm not surprised to see Cookie dominating Archie. I suspect Cookie is the predominant beneficiary of the elimination of Carly Smithson, both because of his stylistic similarities with Carly, and because of the two fanbases' shared desire to stop Archie.

We'll find out later tonite...

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This Week In Tonight In American Idol [22 April 2008]

7:55 PM: Here we are, " ' ready ' " to Live-ishBlog Top 6 Week. Tonight's theme is "Andrew Lloyd Webber", which sounds like an ingenious contrarian response to Idol's sinking ratings among young-ish viewers.

It's not.

8:00 PM: Oh, Jimminy! We've got an expanded "band" this week, which includes instrumentation necessary for ALW.

This is gonna suck. BIG TIME!

8:05 PM: Randy predicts it will be the "toughest nite of the season". He must have heard the rehearsals.

Ryan calls Simon out on his standard "that sounded Broadway" put-down. What should the Idols do? Simon: contemporary.

Each of the judges is squirmingly uncomfortable.

Call your local newspaper, cuz you're about to witness a TRAIN WRECK!

8:06 PM: First up tonite is Syesha.

Guess we know who's likely to go this week?

Maybe not -- ALW predicts Syesha may bring the house down.

Syesha is taking on "One Rock And Roll Too Many" from Starlight Express.

Syesha looks INCREDIBLE in that red dress. The Idol stylists look to be still on a roll.

This is a very-good-by-Syesha-standards performance. Only a modest amount of pitchiness. Great "stage presence" here.

Randy: this might surprise you, but i think not only is this your element, you could be a huge Broadway star...your best performance to-date right there...
Paula: not surprising at all...this is your happy place...you're real good at it...ALW was right -- you brought the house down...
Simon: very sexy...like Michelle Pfeiffer lying on the piano...i agree with Randy, this was one of your strongest performances so far...you showed masses of personality we haven't seen before...you're definitely more confident in this area...

I've been on the Syesha jalopy for a while, and I think that was good. How will it compare to the other 5? We'll see...

8:16 PM: Next up is Jason. Jason is unfamiliar with ALW's work.

Ruh-roh!

Jason is taking on "Memory" from Cats.

Jason doesn't know that it was sung by a "cat" on Broadway.

ALW is skeptical.

Jason has minimal instrumentation -- piano and strings.

This is definitely not Jason's style. This performance is very "breathy". His breathing is very distracting.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Weaker than Syesha, for sure.

Randy: musically, vocally, for me, it was a little bit of a train-wreck...too much melody for you...too big of a song for you...
Paula: people are used to hearing this song by a big female balladeer, and that's not who you are...but it was a very wise choice for you, because it allowed you to put your influence on the song, further identifies your unique being as an artist...

Paula then compares it to Joe Cocker's "You Are So Beautiful To Me"...Randy is skeptical...

Simon: i'm sure it felt to you as for me the longest two minutes of your life...came over as a young guy being forced to sing a song at a wedding you didn't want to sing...you were miserable throughout, i was partly miserable throughout...it's not your style of music...it was a struggle...

Ryan asks Simon, I'm voting at home, how do I vote? Simon: "don't vote".

OUCH!

8:26 PM: Next up is Brooke. Brooke is taking on "You Must Love Me", from Evita.

ALW: "I don't think that girl had a clue about what she was singing about".

OUCH!

So ALW clues Brooke in, and she finally connects with the song.

Brooke messes up for THE SECOND FREAKIN' TIME THIS SEASON and asks to start again.

After that false start, Brooke's light voice doesn't hold up well against the instrumentation. Yep, she's definitely overwhelmed by the arrangement. Plus, a little pitchy.

Randy: for me, this wasn't great...the one thing i liked that you did was you listened to Andrew Lloyd Webber...the one thing you all need to take from tonite is that you need to believe what you're singing...

Probably the most uncomfortable moment I've ever experienced on Idol occurrs next...Paula Abdul is literally speechless, eyes closed, struggling to think of ANYTHING nice to say...

Paula [finally]: you must never start and stop...[a pin drops somewhere]...this is the biggest show and the biggest platform, and you're great enough as an artist to pick up the pieces...what i did love about this performance was you didn't overact...you just were you...anything that became part-and-parcel or broken vocally was an emotional strength of yours...

Brooke is already crying...

Simon: this is why i love live teevee, it was so dramatic!...it completely threw you, you were so tense trying to remember the song, your voice was straining...it actually became quite uncomfortable...this is a tricky one...i think you're gonna be very disappointed when you watch this back...

Ryan asks Brooke why she started over...Brooke confesses to forgetting the lyrics, "the first time i've done that on this show"...apparently, when she stopped-and-started back in Top 12 Week it was NOT because she forgot or was nervous or whatevs...Ryan asks Simon for advice for Brooke, and Simon gallantly tells her she did the right thing and was "brave" to do it...Paula advises Brooke to "sing anything", but Randy agrees that she should've just stopped and restarted...

This whole exchange has a very Wednesday-at-2-minutes-before-the-upcut feel, doesn't it???

8:38 PM: Next up is "plucky little" David A. Ryan invites a bunch of schoolgirls on stage to hug Plucky. It's very weird.

Plucky is taking on "Think Of Me" from Phantom Of The Opera. ALW says the song was written for a diva, and he can't imagine what it will sound like from "a boy".

SMS to ALW: Plucky is not "a boy". He IS "a diva".

ALW tells Plucky to keep his eyes open -- "i just can't watch someone who's got their eyes closed all of the time".

David's performance is, of course, excellent.

A little more "eyes-closed-y" than ALW would want, I suspect, but excellent nonetheless.

Uh, tough call...

PUHLEEEEEEEZE!!!

Randy: you're what this show is about -- if you can sing, you can sing anything...i knew this would be a big nite for you...you even put your own personality in there, a little "Stevie" riffs...dude, it was the bomb! this boy's the one to beat!!!
Paula: absolutely perfect...took a risk on a known theatrical song, and turned it into a pop ballad...perfect...
Simon: pleasant...one of your weakest performances over the last five shows...not a performance to remember...absolutely gonna get you through to next week...forgettable for me, sorry...

Plucky is absolutely safe this week, but props to Simon for sacking up and telling Plucky he's not anointed...

8:47 PM: Next up is Carly, who wants to take on "All I Ask Of You" from Phantom Of The Opera. But ALW clearly saw last week's performance show, and Carly's "daring" cleavage-baring, tattoo-covering outfit, because he says "that's not the song for a girl with a great big chest voice...she's a big, big singer, that girl". I think he also complemented her "shoes":


[image from "Top 7 Week" courtesy americanidol.com, obvs -- Eds.]

ALW persuades Carly to take on her "second choice", "Jesus Christ Superstar", from the show of the same name.

Carly reimagines the track as an Aretha/Earth-Wind-and-Fire-influenced Gospel/R&B number.

This is fantastic! The most electric vocal of the nite!

Carly brought it!!!

That's how Joss Stone would do that song. Take that however you will.

Randy: i don't know if this was your best performance, but it was very good...
Paula: i loved so much that it was so unexpected...i thought at first that it might be in too high of a range for you, but i loved what you did in the chorus...
Simon: other than the fact that it got a little shouty in the middle, it was actually one of my favorite performances of the nite...

Ricky gives Carly a t-shirt that reads "SIMON LOVES ME (this week)". Cute, but won't win her any votes from people that just don't connect with her.

8:55 PM: Looks like we'll be "up-cut-challenged" again tonite.

Our last Idol tonite is David C. David is taking on "The Music Of The Night", from Phantom Of The Opera. ALW calls it "the most sensual, the most sexy song I've ever written".

David predictably gives the song his Cornell-Daughtry-inspired Andrea Bocelli treatment.

And he predictably NAILS IT!

Randy: i've said it before [you've already said it tonite!!! -- Eds.], i'll say it again -- if you can really sing, you can sing anything...dude, that was an amazing vocal performance...unbelievable...another hot, molten-hot lava bomb tonite, RIGHT THERE!
Paula: this song just proved more and more that you are so well-rounded as a performer...you have a beautiful instrument...fantastic...
Simon: i think you made the most of the song...this is not the side of you i like...i much prefer the grittier, more raw...too rounded-off...but you made the most of the song -- you were good...

INSTA-REACTION COMING MOMENTARILY...

* * * * *

SORTA-INSTA-REACTION:

1) David C.
2) Carly
[smallish gap]
3) David A.
4) Syesha
[biggish gap]
5) Jason
["Ticket To Ride"-sized gap]
6) Brooke

I knew it would be a tough week for the Idols, as few of them had the range of skills to meet the challenges of the Andrew Lloyd Webber songbook.

I think David Cook's take on a "staple" was not only great, but was better than I expected. David Archuleta also was as-good-as-I-expected.

But the real revelations for me were Carly Smithson and Syesha Mercado. Both turned in riveting, memorable performances of potential-train-wreck songs. Carly showed me why she's clearly Top 4 material, and Syesha showed me I haven't been crazy to be on her jalopy-bandwagon-thingy. If nothing else from this exercise, Syesha has a clear potential future on Broadway.

Jason severely underwhelmed me, with his overly-breathy performance. Dude needs to learn how to sing without excessive instrumentation covering up his technical flaws.

And what to say about Brooke? How about, "goodbye".

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This Week In Tonight In American Idol [15 April 2008]

7:55 PM: Top 7 Week is here, and tonite's "theme" -- or possibly just "mentor" -- is Mariah Carey.

Mariah, whom no one on Idol should ever sing.

Mariah, who just oh-so-coincidentally has a new album dropping...wait for it...TODAY!

8:00 PM: It's on!

Minnie Driver and Teri Hatcher are in the house tonite. I guess TPTB insist on perpetuating the myth that Ryan is an "eligible bachelor".

Ryan reminds us that last week's elimination of Michael Johns was "shocking(!)", and that every vote is "important". So, Irish-Americans For Carly, time to step it up!

Okay, Mariah is just a "mentor" this week. Whew!

8:04 PM: So maybe the Idols are doing an all-Mariah show after all? This will be bad for everyone, except possibly Syesha and Carly.

Write. It. Down.

8:05 PM: First up tonite is David A.

Ruh roh!

David is taking on "We Are Not Afraid", which is not only a MARIAH FUCKING CAREY song, but is also a WHITNEY FUCKING HOUSTON song. This could be a very. bad. idea.

David's performance is good, but I must confess I'm tiring of his one-trick-cough-Clay-Aiken-cough-pony act.

Randy: worried about tonite...you picked one of the toughest songs...i've said it before...you can sing anything...that was THA BOMB!
Paula: i know Mariah was beaming, because you made her proud...
Simon: i would agree...that was very good...you set the benchmark for the guys...you performed that very well...

8:13 PM: Next up, interestingly, is Carly. Is David Cook next???

BTW, I'm LOVING Carly's look tonite. She's covered up her sleeve tatoo -- and is rocking her "shoes" in the process.

Carly is taking on "Without You", but of course she's doing Mariah's cover of the Badfinger track. Mariah encourages Carly to go outside her normal range and take a chance.

I'm digging Carly's restrained opening, and her power finish. Very faithful to both the original and the cover.

Randy: i like that you challenged yourself with this big song...i liked the middle and the power...but you gotta believe and trust in yourself that you've got that lower range too...the beginning was a little loosey-goosey for me...it was good...
Paula: I loved that you showed vocal restraint...you made it your own...
Simon: I wanted to hear you sing this song before Mariah nite...did you pull it off? i don't think you did...
[audience boos]
Simon: i think you're over-thinking everything...i think you're wound-up...i think it was an okay version...
Paula: you gotta trust yourself...
Randy: you can do it, you can do it...

8:24 PM: Next up is Syesha, who has to be the "favorite" on Mariah nite. Syesha is taking on "Vanishing", one of the great Mariah songs long-forgotten from her debut album -- ya know, the one with "Vision Of Love" on it???

Syesha is not stealing her golden opportunity to shine.

This is pitchy and unnecessarily screamy. Much worse than Carly.

But, like Carly, Syesha is ROCKING that champagne-colored dress.

Randy: the toughest song of the nite vocally...you did a good job on it, all things considered...a couple of pitchy moments...
Paula: you're smart because you picked a song that not many people know, and can't compare you to her...tonite was unbelievably magical...
Simon: technically, very good indeed...but at this stage of the competition, i wouldn't have picked a song that not too many people know...
Paula: but people loved it, i don't think it matters whether they knew it...
Ryan: how do you feel about the show so far?
Simon: David Archuleta has stolen the show, and he's the one to beat...
Paula: and Syesha...

Okay, SERIOUSLY!

Are the judges in the tank for Syesha tonite? In the anti-tank for Carly?

Carly was MUCH better than Syesha tonite.

WTF WAS THAT???

8:33 PM: Next up is Brooke.

Idol's stylists have really stepped it up tonite. All of the women look fabulous!

Brooke will be taking on "Hero", which Mariah tells us she wrote for Gloria Estefan. Brooke is strumming a guitar while rehearsing with Mariah.

But now she's playing the piano instead?

Okay, it just hit me why Brooke is still on Idol.

Clive wants her as his Norah-killer.

That's the only explanation.

Her performance is good, but nothing spectacular.

Randy: i liked the whole singer-songwriter vibe...i was digging it until the bridge...it threw me a little bit...
[BREAKING! Brooke White talks back to an Idol judge. Brooke, some unsolicited advice -- STFU!]
Randy: at the end, i could feel you losing a little self-confidence...
Paula: every ounce of you is totally authentic to who you are...this unplugged version was a very brave thing to do...you sounded good, except for a few off notes...
Simon: i don't think you had much choice other than to do what you did...other than that, it was a bit like ordering a hamburger and only getting the bun...the vital ingredient -- the bit in the middle -- was missing, the important part, because i don't think your voice is strong enough to carry that song...
[thus proceeds an argument among the judges and Ryan along the lines of "Where's The Beef?"]

8:39 PM: Next up is Kristy Lee. Kristy Lee is taking on "Forever".

That was not bad at all. Kristy Lee has brought it 2 weeks in a row.

Who woulda thunk it a month ago???

Randy: i didn't think that was amazing -- there were a coupla pitchy notes in the first part...but you definitely started stepping up towards the end...
Paula: it wasn't just the end...i think you're a very smart girl because you have this all worked out in your plans...Kristy Lee Cook, i'm like "ohmigod!" i was blown away...you could have a hit with that in country...
Simon: you didn't give me chills...i think you managed with what you could...a little bit whiney at times...but it wasn't ever going to be an advantage at times...i think you were quite smart...it just wasn't great...
Paula: ALL THE GIRLS LOOK BEAUTIFUL TONITE!

8:48 PM: Next up is David C. David is taking on "Always Be My Baby". Mariah is surprised, because she's never envisioned Chris Daughtry singing one of her songs.

Oh, quel suprise. David gives the song the full-on Daughtry-Stapp treatment. Throw in a little...Cornell...for good measure.

Hey, it was great in that Daughtry way. David knows who he is.

Randy: more than almost anyone on this show right now, you're ready to make an album...you're a hot recording artist...that was the most brilliant performance yet this season...
[Randy gives David a Standing O!]
Paula: that song could be on a movie soundtrack right now...and who knows -- maybe it just will...you're it!
Randy: it was like coming out of karaoke hell into a breath of fresh air...it was original, it was daring, it stood out by a mile, and this is the sign of a great potential artist -- someone who takes risks...

8:57 PM: Looks like someone is going to miss the upcut! And I hope my TiVo holds out this week!

Last up tonite is Jason. Jason is taking on "I Don't Wanna Cry", which is only the second-best track on Mariah's debut album.

Jason has set a high bar for himself.

Jason is performing with a bandette of 2 acoustic guitarists and a bongo-er.

That was a nice performance, but I think David C. took him on "making it your own"

Randy: i didn't really love that...i felt like i was at a weird beach luau and somebody was playing some music in the distance...i didn't really get it...
[Simon doesn't know what a "luau" is]
Paula: i'd love to be at that luau, listening all nite long...you're getting so confident and so in that zone...
Simon: i'm going to have to agree with Paula...it wasn't the best vocal, but it was identifiably you...it was a cool version...the guys completely won the nite...

INSTA-REACTION coming in a few minutes...

* * * * *

WaPo teevee columnist Lisa de Moraes also watches and blogs about Idol for washingtonpost.com -- she "watches American Idol so you don't have to". de Moraes believes that Simon is the only judge worth listening to.

Well, tonite, Simon got it right -- the men completely dominated the women. They didn't just dominate -- I think, tonite, every one of the men was better than every one of the women.

Here is my INSTA-RANK:

1) David C.
2) David A.
3) Jason
4) Carly
5) Kristy Lee
6) Brooke
7) Syesha

It's hard for me to write that, for multiple reasons. It's hard for me to rank David A. so high, because he annoys me on so, so many levels. It's hard for me to rank Jason so high, because he's a YouTube sensation, and nothing more. It's hard for me to rank Carly so low, because she can actually sing -- this is a "singing competiton", right Simon??? And it's hard for me to rank Syesha at the bottom, because I like her.

But this is how I feel about tonite's performances.

Which is not how I feel the results are going to go.

Three points to take away:

1) David C. is still the front-runner. Even though I believe David A. has a "bigger fanbase" than David C., David C. is probably most helped by the elimination of Michael. Plus, David C. is still "bringing it", and his take on "Always Be My Baby", though Daughtry-esque, was still unique and my favorite of the nite. We'll see how this plays out, as the "weaker" contestants are eliminated, and their fanbases shift loyalties.

2) Brooke, Kristy Lee, and Syesha are still surviving by exceeding low expectations. By all rights, the Idol "Final Four" should have been a "struggle to the death" between (in NO particular order) Carly, David A., David C., and Michael. Michael's elimination last week obviously scuttled that possibility, but, SERIOUSLY, is there anyone who can explain why Kristy Lee is STILL in this competition???

3) Carly is in REAL trouble tonite. I thought Carly actually gave the BEST performance among the women tonite, but the bar is very high for her. Did the judges help or hurt her when they repeatedly stressed -- the truth -- that she needs to have more confidence in herself and her performance? Carly has one of the "weaknesses" that plagued Katharine McPhee 2 years ago -- she looks uncomfortable on the stage, not knowing where -- or how -- to stand, or how to engage the audience. Recall that Kat outlasted Chris Daughtry, so things could still work in her favor, but it would help if she "opened up" a bit more. She still looks like she's performing on an 8'x10' stage in the back of the bar.

* * * * *

PREDICTED BOTTOM THREE:

Carly, Kristy Lee, Syesha

* * * * *

WHO'S GOING HOME?:

Carly...sadly...

* * * * *

PAULA ABDUL OUT-OF-IT SCALE:

It was going to be only about 7/10, until that whole "where's the beef?" thing started. Maybe more like 8/10.

* * * * *

SUGGESTED POSSIBLE BLOG-POST TITLES FOR BLOGGERS WHO WILL RECAP TONIGHT'S SHOW TOMORROW:

UPDATED!!! (sorry, long day):

Yeah, those headlines below would obviously be more appropriate for THURSDAY's write-up of WEDNESDAY's elimination show. Some better headlines for WEDNESDAY's write-up of TUESDAY's performance might be:

* "American Idol Wants To Know: Who Will Still Be There Next Week?"
* "American Idol Wants To Know: Whose 'Fantasy' Will End This Week?"
* Our American Idols Gave It Their All This Week, But Who Will Survive?"
* Our American Idols Say To The Voting Public: 'Don't Forget About Us'"

* * * * *

POSSIBLE RESULTS-SHOW THURSDAY HEADLINES:

* "American Idol Toys With [eliminated Idol]'s 'Emotions', Destroys [his/her] Dreams Anyway"
* "American Idol Destroys [eliminated Idol]'s 'Fantasy' Of Being Your Next American Idol"
* [elimnated Idol] Gave It [his/her] All, But That Was Not Enough To Avoid Elimination from American Idol"
* "American Idol Viewers Turn Out To Be A 'Heartbreaker' For [elimiated Idol]'s Dreams"
* "American Idol Viewers To [elimnated Idol]: 'We DON'T Belong Together'"

* * * * *

UPDATED, AFTER "THE POLLS" HAVE CLOSED:

DialIdol has some interesting numbers for us this morning...

1) David C.
2) David A.
3) Jason
4) Kristy Lee
(above all "safe"; below all "not safe")
5) Carly
6) Brooke
7) Syesha

Hmmm, looks an awful lot like my list, with only Carly and Kristy Lee flipped at 4-5 -- and with the caveat that Kristy Lee is safe at #4. Also, DialIdol has Brooke and Syesha with almost exactly the same vote, while Carly has an approximate 20% lead on both. That gives me hope that Carly may survive one more week, and perhaps start listening to the people who are trying to help her.

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This Week In Tonight In American Idol [8 April 2008]

8:00 PM: A quick reminder -- this is Idol Gives Back week. The telethon returns tomorrow, airing from 7:30-10:00 PM EST. No "Psych! We're not eliminating anyone this week!" shenanigans this year -- we'll have a proper results show on Thursday.

Tonite's "Top 8 Nite" theme is "Inspirational Songs".

And I'm already dreading this.

8:03 PM: First up is Michael Johns, and his inspirational song of choice is..."Dream On", by Aerosmith?

Srsly???

This is very "karaoke" to me, honestly.

Altho Michael does nail the Steve Tyler "falsetto" parts.

Randy: important week, we find out who you are...pretty good song choice for you, but some pitch problems...I still don't believe that's who you are...I don't buy that you're an Aerosmith-type singer...it was just a'ight for me...

[the audience disagrees...Michael talks back -- why are the Idols doing that this season???]

Randy [channeling his inner-Simon (eww -- Ed.)]: this is a singing competition...it's not about dreams, it's about singing...
Paula: I couldn't disagree more...perfect song for you...you sound as good as you look...I thought my chihuahuas were going to join you onstage...
Simon: very good performance...but I don't like when you do an impersonation of a rockstar...I prefer it with the blues R&B thing in your voice...a little bit "wanna-be"-ish...

Randy and Simon are largely in agreement against Paula, which almost never happens...which means Michael is already vulnerable...

Ryan makes a gay joke about Paula's "chihuahuas"...ha ha...

8:12 PM: Up next is Syesha Mercado. Syesha is taking on "I Believe" by Fantasia.

I've been on the Syesha bandwagon for a while, and I think this is fantastic.

I think the backing singers are overwhelming her a bit, but WOW does Syesha have a powerful voice...

Randy: took on another tiger this week...Fantasia has that special connection with her songs that you were lacking...it was just okay for me...

And Syesha is also talking back...WOW, Randy is on fire this week...

Paula: not many people can take on Fantasia and her songs...I think you flipped it and made it your own...hands down, one of your strongest nites...
Simon: technically, you sang it very well...what it lacked for me was that big wave of emotion...last week you did Whitney, this week Fantasia -- I want to find out who you are...

8:18 PM: Next up is Jason Castro. Jason is taking on "Somewhere Over The Rainbow". But he's taking on the ukelele-dominated arrangement of Hawaiian Bruddah Iz.

Prediction: "Bruddah Iz ukelele" -- or some variation thereof -- will top tomorrow's "Google Trends" charts.

This is passable and interesting but mostly "forgettable" for me, to use Idol's terms.

Randy: Jason Castro is back in the hunt! That was the hottest of the nite right there! That was blazing, molten hot!

Dude, what were you listening to???

Paula: You have the most definitive sound...perfect song...I love that version...you did a great job...

Paula Abdul Out-Of-It Scale: 8/10. At least!

Simon: first time I heard that version, I wasn't sure...second time, loved it...third time [motions to Jason], loved it!

Okay, the judges are in the tank for Jason tonite...Trying to slow the momentum of David Cook???

That was a fucking YouTube video. It was not American idol. And it will be no more than potentially Jason's "biggest hit".

Write it down.

8:26 PM: Next up is Kristy Lee Cook. Kristy makes the shocking(!) decision to perform a...wait for it!...COUNTRY SONG! "Anyway", by Martina McBride.

The underwhelm continues, as Kristy has trouble finding the pitch.

At least the audience loved that big note.

Randy: pitchy, but I loved that for you...
Paula: you outdid yourself...your best so far...
Simon: I thought you were very good indeed...tonite, you looked like a star...

Okay, I've obviously slipped down the rabbit hole...are the judges deliberately trying to shake up the competition this week???

8:35 PM: Next up is David Cook. David is taking on "Innocent", by Our Lady Peace.

I like David, but he's all over the place here. He can't seem to decide if tonite he's channeling Live, Dave Matthews, or Puddle of Mudd.

Uh, yeah.

Randy: I'm not sure this was one of your strongest weeks...I didn't quite get it...
Paula: ...and tonite was no exception of you being so good...

Simon cuts off Paula and her medically-induced rambling non-sequitur...

Simon: I didn't like this performance very much at all...teense weensy bit pompous...weakest performance -- not anywhere near as good as the last two weeks...

8:39 PM: Next up is Carly Smithson. Carly is taking on "The Show Must Go On" by Queen.

Carly has changed up her sartorial style a bit this week, in response to Simon's criticisms last week.

As always, Carly gives us the best "rockstar" performance of the nite.

Randy: started out good...pitchy in the middle...ended up okay...it was just okay for me...didn't quite hit the mark...
Paula: that's something I'm actually going to agree with a little bit...as always, your voice was perfect...I didn't feel the connection -- didn't feel engaged with you...
Simon: you look good...unusual choice of song...oversang it, to the point where you lost control of it towards the end...came over as an angry performance, which felt out-of-kilter with the evening...you chose the wrong song, and you might be in a bit of trouble this week...

8:48 PM: Next up is David Archuleta. David is concerned that he might have "awakened the neighbors" with his "loud" "practicing" this week.

Eww.

David is taking on "Angels", originally by Robbie Williams and covered recently by Jessica Simpson.

A Jessica Simpson song makes it to American Idol. Maybe we really are in the End Times???

David is playing the piano, and I don't mean "playing the piano", but playing the piano.

Randy: I loved the runs at the end [eww -- Ed.]...that was your hottest moment of the whole season...LOVED IT!!!
Paula: that sums it up for me...fantastic!...
Simon: best song choice of the nite...one of the best pop songs written...not your best vocal, tho...a bit nasally...I'm nit-picking, because you are going to SAIL THROUGH...

8:57 PM: Yep, we're gonna run late again tonite.

Last up tonite is Brooke White. Brooke is taking on "You've Got A Friend", written by Carole King and also famously performed by James Taylor.

Surprisingly, because it was just onstage, Brooke is NOT "playing the piano".

Oh wait -- the piano is still onstage, but someone else is playing, while Brooke is singing.

Okay, this is actually a very nice performance.

Randy: I liked that...wasn't your best performance...it was okay, a'ight...
Paula: one of my favorite songs growing up...a perfect way to close the evening...you're definitive...
Simon: it was like a pleasant walk in the park...it was nice...was it original? no was it pleasant? yes...

And...we're 5 minutes late on the upcut...the better to screw over Dancing With The Stars...

Back in a bit with an Insta-Reaction...

* * * * *

INSTA-REACTION: Tonite felt really "upside-down" for me. Some of the "better performances" -- and the "better judges' comments" -- came from some Idols who I've thought are at the bottom of the competition. And some of my "favorites" came up short tonite.

Here is my RANKING for tonite, which is not the same as my PREDICTION about who's in trouble:

1) Brooke
2) Syesha
3) Kristy Lee
{gap}
4) David A.
5) Carly
6) Jason
{gap}
7) David C.
8) Michael

I think there were lots of poor song choices tonite. Cook, Smithson & Johns, especially, I'm looking at YOU. And I think some of the weaker contestants helped themselves by choosing songs especially suited to their styles. The judges were lukewarm on Brooke's rendition of "You've Got A Friend", but I think it was probably the best performance on a mediocre nite -- and I suspect the producers agree with me, because she got the final spot. Also, kudos to Kristy Lee for continuing to embrace her inner Kellie Pickler. It paid off for the second week in a row. Finally, Syesha. I've been on her bandwagon for a while, and I think -- in spite of the judges comments -- that she acquitted herself well this week, even though she had the bad luck of going first.

Don't talk to me about Jason "I'm YouTube-ular!!!" Castro. Sorry, Dawg, but I wasn't feelin' that. It wasn't even "just a'ight" for me.

* * * * *

Okay, so I called the performances, but I haven't predicted the Bottom 3.

I think there's a better than 50-50 chance the Bottom 3 this week will be (in no particular order): Carly, David C., Michael. All had an "off" week this week, and each was particularly panned by one-or-more of the judges. As I think these three are really Top 5 material, I'm afraid this week will produce the first truly "shocking elimination" of the season. Of the three, I'd say Michael is in the most trouble.

Check in later to see whether I'm (I hope not!) right.

-- DHMBIB

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This Week In Tonight In American Idol [2 April 2008]

The "Top 9 Week" "Results Show" has just started. No "liveblog" tonite, because liveblogging a one-hour results show when only about 60 seconds worth of bloggable news is made is boring and pointless.

The Idols are group-singing Dolly Parton's "9 To 5", truly an American classic.

Am I the only one hoping Idol will give us a truly "shocking" elimination tonite and reduce the number of Idols from "9 To 5"?

Wouldn't it be nice to see Kristy Lee, Ramiele, Jason, and DAVID FUCKING ARCHULETA all go home tonite???

Am I the only one?

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This Week In Tonight In American Idol [1 April 2008]

7:55 PM: "Top 9 Week" is here, and apparently Country-Music-and-American Legend-Icon Dolly Parton is the first "mentor" of Season 7. This week's theme is "The Dolly Parton Songbook" or somesuch.

If you believe the spoilers -- hey! didyaknow it's April Fools' Day??? -- we have one Idol performing a completely obvious choice, and another Idol THANKFULLY staying away from a possible backlash-inducing choice.

7:58 PM (According to my PC clock, but, eh...): Ryan starts off with an obvious April Fools' joke about the show being pre-empted in favor of a celebrity Moment Of Truth starring Simon Cowell.

Ha ha.

8:02 PM: First up is Brooke White. Brooke will be taking on "Jolene", and maybe playing a guitar instead of a piano. Dolly thinks it's a good choice.

"Jolene" is the quintessential "singer-songwriter" song, so it's easily adaptable, but it's also perfect for Brooke.

Brooke is playing guitar, and is joined by a couple of other musicians doing violin and so on.

That was a good performance, but not great.

Randy: That was a good performance, but not great...pitch problems in the middle...but it was alright...
Paula: What's great about you is that you're consistent...you are who you are...you have an emotional connection with every song you perform...
Simon: I totally disagree with Paula, because I think what was lacking on that song was any emotion...I think all of you looked very odd together with a group...wasn't one of your best performances...

I have to agree with Simon -- and Randy -- it sounded fine, but emotionless...Brooke trades on her "emotional connections", and that was just...lacking...

8:08 PM: In case you didn't know, high-minded pop culture surrendered to brain-meltingly stupid pop culture today.

Today was the release of Alvin & The Chipmunks on DVD.

8:10 PM: Next up is David Cook. Ryan and David briefly discuss the kerfuffle about how he's been "borrowing" other rockers' "different" arrangements of well-known songs and all-the-while accepting praise for being "original".

David tells Ryan he'll be performing his own arrangement of "Little Sparrow" tonite. Dolly loves David's voice.

David is playing a guitar tonite.

That was a really good arrangement -- not "best of season" good, but really good.

I became impressed with David early. He's clearly this season's Chris Daughtry -- he has one style and he's really good at adapting songs to it. This is more than enough to get him through this week.

Randy: You know what I love that you've been doin? You're a rocker, but you've been showing you've got this unbelievable range...another hot, consistent performance...
Paula: I like your haircut...I've never heard a guy do that song -- it was fantastic...shows how well-rounded you are as an artist...
Simon: I'm not going to say it was as good as last week, but if you can make a song about sparrows good, which you did, congratulations...

8:14 PM: Next up is Ramiele Malubay. Ramiele will be taking on "Do I Ever Cross Your Mind". Dolly thinks it's a good choice for Ramiele.

Who exactly is styling Ramiele this season? Her "suspenders dress-over-white tee" thing is almost as bad as her "high-waisted-shorts" thing last week.

This is okay. Just...okay.

Randy: I wasn't jumpin' up and down, but I wasn't mad at you either...it was a'ight...you showed signs of strength, conviction...6.5 out of 10...
Paula: I'm proud of you, very proud of you...I was a little worried you weren't gonna connect, but you had a great 1:30 and you connected and you were having FUN...
Simon: We're not gonna remember this in 10 years, are we?...it was cute, you sang quite well...overall I think you sang well, but it was forgettable, and very reminiscent of something you'd see on a cruise ship...

Apparently, Simon takes a lot of cruises...

8:22 PM: Next up is Jason Castro. Ryan and Jason waste time by talking about Jason's fan mail.

Jason will be taking on "Travelin' Thru". Dolly thinks it's a great choice because he's going a little "outside of what he's been doin'".

Jason proceeds to do EXACTLY THE SAME FUCKING MEDIOCRE THING HE DOES EVERY WEEK!!!

Oh, but the stoner-with-the-dreadlocks is soooooooooo dreeeeaaaaaaaaamy!!!!!!

Randy: It started rough, but by the time you hit the middle, you picked it up...singer-songwriter vibe...it was pretty good...you worked it out...
Paula: To me, one of your strongest performances...you seemed so comfortable, you let go, your voice was strong and rich...
Simon: This is the point where I lose my season-pass to Dollywood, because I didn't like that at all...it sounded like the same song from before...didn't sing it particularly well...this kind of music doesn't suit you...if this had been the first time I'd seen you or heard you, I wouldn't get it...sorry...

8:27 PM: Next up is Carly Smithson. Carly is taking on "Here You Come Again", which was not written by Dolly. Dolly thinks it's a great choice for Carly's voice, and says "she killed it".

Carly gives the song a Celine-in-Vegas-but-acoustic-laid-back-lounge arrangement.

AND SHE FUCKING KILLS IT!

In the good way.

The judges are practically speechless.

Randy: I do believe that that will probably be one of the better performances of the nite...nice job...
Paula: Glorious...such an amazing talent...and THAT VOICE!...
[then, Paula and Randy fight about Randy's criticism of Carly last week]
Simon: I thought it was good, I didn't think it was great...

Then, Simon launches into an odd attack on Carly's style, and I don't mean her vocals...

Simon: I also think that you've got to have a word with whoever's dressing you at the moment...I think at this stage -- without being rude -- you've got to start looking like a star, and I'm not seeing that progression at the moment...

Obvs, this all makes Carly very uncomfortable, but kudos to Carly for biting her lip...Ryan snips back about how people could say the same about Simon's style, and then they get into a snit about whether Simon doesn't like country music, about which we have spent 6+ seasons learning THAT HE FUCKING HATES "COUNTRY MUSIC" OKAY PEOPLE???

8:35 PM: Next up is David Archuleta. David is taking on "Smokey Mountain Memories". David brought Dolly to tears. Who knew Dolly was really just a 12-year-old girl under all that wig and makeup???

Dolly thinks he has "the voice to become a really great, great singer".

Do you think David's Stage Dadzilla tried to put the moves on Dolly? Leave your thoughts in the comments.

Okay, this is good. David really CAN sing.

I still don't want him to win.

Randy: David is back tonite...I stand corrected -- that was THE BEST PERFORMANCE of the nite...
Paula: Amazing tone...strong...beautiful...glorious...
Simon: You know I had issues with your choice-of-song last week...this week -- absolutely. on. the. money...

8:39 PM: Next up is Kristy Lee Cook. Kristy Lee is taking on "Coat Of Many Colors". Dolly thinks she "made it her own".

Dolly Parton is one of the best songwriters in American history. This is a song about Dolly's life growing up in poverty and literally how her mother made clothes from discarded rags, and about being proud that her family loved her so much to give her anything she needed, in spite of circumstances.

Kristy Lee "Lurleen Lumpkins" it up, like she does everything. But it's pretty good.

Randy: Country music is definitely your wheelhouse...very nice performance...this is kinda "the Kristy Lee week"...
Paula: You look stunning...your best performance...
Simon: I thought last week was your best performance...pleasant but forgettable...

8:47 PM: Next up is Syesha Mercado. To absolutely no one's surprise, Syesha is taking on "I Will Always Love You", because...

...THIS IS THE ONLY FUCKING DOLLY PARTON SONG SHE COULD SING.

AND SHE STILL HAS TO SING THE WHITNEY HOUSTON VERSION!!!

GRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

Okay, this is just pageanty. But that may be the best Syesha can do.

OH! Nice job holding that note!

Randy: You took on the biggest tiger of the nite...and I think you did pretty good...but it's still hard for me to hear anybody else sing that song...it was alright...
Paula: You look gorgeous...velvety tone to your voice...growing and growing...connecting with the audience so much more...
Simon: You forget what a brilliant songwriter Dolly Parton is...this is one of the best pop songs ever written...I almost wish YOU had not gotten it in a strange way, because the first part was good, and the second part -- as I had a feeling, unfortunately -- paled to the Whitney version...I don't know if it really helped you that much...it was a good, not a fantastic version of the song...

8:55 PM: Last up is Michael Johns. Michael is a big fan -- American "country" singers are big in Australia. Michael is taking on "It's All Wrong, But It's All Right".

Dolly thinks Michael has a great voice, and she thinks she could write some "great songs" for him.

Michael goes with a Withers-via-Cocker-via-Botlon-esque arrangement, complete with gospel-esque backing vocals.

I'm actually digging this.

9 PM is approaching, and the judges are getting the "wrap" signal. "Top 9 Week" is hard, because there's not enough material to justify 90 minutes, but it's hard to squeeze in 9 performances in 60 minutes.

Randy: Bringing it up every week a notch...blazing hot...nice job...
Paula: You're a star, a rock star, a blue star!!!
Simon: Interesting nite tonite...the best I have heard you sing...

* * * * *

INSTA-REACTION:

This is tough. I wrote elsewhere on Monday that I thought an all-Dolly theme tonite was a terrible idea. Not because I dislike Dolly -- LOVE HER!!! -- but she has few pop-ish hits that are familiar to a SIGNIFICANT portion of Idol's fanbase -- as well as to these contestants -- who, recall, were not terribly familiar with The Beatles' catalog. So, the whole nite consisted of much of Idol's audience saying to themselves, "WHAAA?"

I need a few minutes to review my notes and the performances. Come back in a few.

UPDATED: Back!

Wow, I'm still finding it hard to rate the Idols tonite 1-9. Let me try this insta-reaction, IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER:

1-3-ish: Carly, David A., Michael
4-6-ish: Brooke, David C., Syesha
7-9-ish: Jason, Kristy Lee, Ramiele

I know that the only "Dolly Parton" song Syesha could sing is "the Whitney version" of "I Will Always Love You", but I really would've loved to hear Brooke, Carly or David C. take this on instead. I think the different arrangement would've made it fresh and interesting.

I think I was right that an all-Dolly nite -- as opposed to a "country nite" -- was not a great idea. Most of the idols struggled with material that was unfamiliar to both them and us.

The performances really bunched together tonite. Only Carly, the two Davids, and Michael gave performances that I feel confident in saying "safe" about tonite.

Which only means that the Bottom 3 will come from those 4.

Sigh.

* * * * *

Just a reminder: Idol Gives Back airs one week from tomorrow nite, on 9 April 2008. That's "two weeks" earlier than last season, if that matters to you. It's even on at a special time -- it begins at 7:30 PM EST, instead of 8 or 9 PM.

* * * * *

Remember when I noted that the show "started" at 7:58 according to my PC's clock? Well, Hell's Kitchen started at 9:01. So Idol ran over by 3 minutes tonite.

Yep, the DHMBIB archives prove conclusively that Idol always runs over by about 2 minutes on "Top 9 Performance Nite".

Also, that link has a photo of HALEY SCARNATO employing her "show 'em skin and they won't notice you can't sing" strategy of sticking around. She survived "Top 9 Week" but got the hook in "Top 8 Week" even tho she deployed the shortest shorts in the history of the show.

Ah, remember the days?

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