Sunday, February 22, 2009

OSCAR 2009: DHMBIB's Liveblog

We're back to liveblog this year's Academy Award ceremony. And if you've ever seen our previous liveblogs of this "event", you already know it's gonna be pretty half-assed.

Let's go!

(for previous Oscar liveblogs, click the tags on this post...)
8:45ish PM: Faithful Reader KG is hosting her annual Oscar party once again, and once again everything is spectacular.

8:46ish PM: Due to some technical issues, we're a little late getting started. What did we miss? Hugh Jackman told some jokes. Anne Hathaway was a good sport. Frank Langella was an even better sport. Oh, and HJ gave millions of viewers around the world the mental image of Meryl Streep on steroids. AND WE'RE STILL TRYING TO EAT DINNER!!!

8:48 PM: Best Supporting Actress...Penelope Cruz! Hey, shock -- we're 0-1 in the contest!

Penenlope says something in Spanish. We don't speak Spanish.

8:51: A car company spends our money to thank us for giving them our money to pay for commercials during the Oscars. Awesome.

SUCK IT, AMERICAN TAXPAYERS!!!

8:54: Tina Fey and Steve Martin bring the funny to the presentation of Best Original Screenplay..."Milk"! We're 0-2!!!

This year, we adopted the daring contest strategy of going with "Slumdog" in every category.

Yeah, we have no freakin' idea what we're doing...

Wait, Tom DeLonge is an Oscar-winning gay ex-Mormon screenwriter?

8:59: Tina and Steve stick around for the other screenplay category, Best Adapted Screenplay...

Oh, for the screenplay awards, Tina and Steve are *reading* parts of the screenplay, that "set the stage" for the film clip that follows...

This is going to be a very long nite...

The winner..."Slumdog Millionaire"! We're 1-2!

9:03: Only 3 (and 1/2?) hours to go!!!

9:04: Jennifer Anniston and Jack Black?

"Throughout the evening, we're going to be showing you a 2008 movie yearbook..."

ZOMG NO! SOMEONE PLEASE KILL ME NOW!!!

9:05: What's the over-under on when the Academy will start handing out awards for "Best Voice Actor/Actress"

9:06: Best Animated Feature..."WALL-E"! We're 2-2!

9:08: Best Short Film, Animated..."La Maison En Petits Cubes"

True story: ahead of the Grammys two weeks ago, we messaged Faithful Reader KG and told her we would not be liveblogging the Grammys but would be participating in the comments on the liveblog at Idolator. Later, she sent me a reply. Here's part of the actual text of that reply: "...These are way different from the Oscars. No one thanks their spouses, or apparently is expected to." Oh, Faithful Reader KG. You are SO an Oscar person.

Another way the Grammys are diffferent: waaaaay more M.I.A.

9:15: We took a break, and we HOPE we missed one of those Yearbook things...

Daniel Craig and Sarah Jessica Parker present Best Art Direction, even though no one has any idea what the hell art direction is..."The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button!" We've lost count...

And, the first play-out of the night! Who had 9:18???

9:20: Sarah and Danny stay out to present Costume Design..."The Duchess"!

Three-time Grammy winner Fergie now has an Oscar to add to her mantle! AWESOME!!!

9:23: And, Sarah and Danny stay out for Best Makeup..."Benjamin Button"!

9:26: When we learned that, sadly, we did not miss the "Romance Yearbook" Who are these people, BTW?

This yearbook has a Coldplay song for the soundtrack. Too bad WE CAN'T FREAKIN' STAND COLDPLAY, or else we might know which song it is...

9:31: Natalie Portman and Ben Stiller...what an odd combo...and why is Stiller wearing that ugly-ass beard? A: BECAUSE HE'S NOT FUNNY!!!

Oh, I get it -- this is a parody of that interview that Joaquin Pheonix did on Letterman or whatevs, we missed it...

The award is Cinematography..."Slumdog"!

And now, our strategy looks a little better...

9:36: We're sorry, were you trying to read a liveblog? Jessica Biel is on...

9:40: We had some...administrative duties to perform (yeah!), so we missed that entertaining piece with James Franco and Seth Rogen

9:45: Best Short Film, Live Action..."Spiezeugland (Toyland)"!

As usual, we have absolutely nothing funny to say about that ["as usual" -- Eds.]

9:53: We were about to tae another break during Hugh Jackman's salute to musicals...but then Beyonce hit the stage, and we were glad we stuck around...

A couple of years ago, we suggested that AMPAS do everything it possibly could to ensure Beyonce would perform at the ceremony...it looks like someone is finally listening to us...

[pat selves on back...]

10:02: Since we're only 90 FREAKIN MINUTES in to this death slog, let's give out only our second major, because, why the hell not? Supporting Actor...

This year, we five random former winners who each give an introduction for one of the nominees...Cuba Gooding Jr. (snickers...)

10:08: Best Supporting Actor...Heath Ledger! obvs, moron...

His Family accepts the award, which was a very nice thing for the Academy to arrange

10:11: Can't say anything about that emotional moment.

10:11:30: Oh good -- another one of these idiotic Yearbook thingies...it's a good thing we set aside time for these things, and not oh, performances of the Original Song nominees...No, we didn't need to see any of those...

10:15: Who should we choose to give out the award for Documentary Feature, this award for a serious film about a very bad thing in real life? Oh, I don't know, maybe a FUCKING POLITICAL COMEDIAN? Yeah, that sounds about right...

Best Documentary Feature..."man On Wire"!

10:17: Comedian dude sticks around for Documentary Short..."Smile Pinki"...DHMBIB's readers will find this hard to believe, but we did not see any of these Documentary Shorts...

10:22: The "Post-Production" Yearbrook has "Tick Tick Boom" by The Hives as its soundtrack, and no one here ('cept for us) knows what this is...

10:25: Speaking of songs and artists no one knows, here's Will Smith! Presenting the award for Visual Effects, because why the hell not?

Best Visual Effects..."Benjamin Button"! Didn't see it, BTW...

10:28: Oh, NOW he gets jiggy wit the sound categories...

Sound Editing..."The Dark Knight"!

Sound Mixing..."Slumdog"!

Memo to selves: remember in the next 12 months to figure out what the hell is the difference between "sound editing" and "sound mixing". Or, to continue to not give a shit, whatevs...

10:33: What the hell is Smith still doing here? Oh, another award..."Editing" is now in the "post-production bloc" of the show...

Editing..."Slumdog"!

10:40: Hacktacular comedian and comic actor Eddie Murphy is somehow exactly the right choice to present The Jean Hirsholt Humanitarian Award to JERRY FUCKING LEWIS [types that imagining Professor Frink's voice...]. This is the portion of the evening when the party we're at mutes the TV to do a trivia contest, so, sadly, we have no idea what Jerry Lewis is saying. But we're sure its very humanitarian. And unfunny.

10:50: We're back with the volume, and the orchestra is playing some kind of monatge, so it must be time for the sound categories...looks like M.I.A. is m.i.a. this evening

[Ha! bet ya didn't see THAT coming...]

10:52: Alicia Keys and Zac Efron (ZOMG!!!!!11!!11one!!1) are here to present the sound awards...first up: Original Score..."Slumdog"!

10:55: And here are the nominees for Original Song, which are being presented in one mash-up medley, because why the hell not? We don't have TIME for full performances of these songs because there are THREE of them, people! If we performed all THREE of these songs, we'd go over by 23 minutes, instead of 13 minutes, doncha know???

Okay, here's that one song from "Slumdog" that had Oscar offering to allow M.I.A. to perform in a freakin' bed if she would just stop griping about the fact that she just had a baby barely a week ago and get her lazy ass on a plane to Hollywood...

And here's that one song from WALL-E by Peter Gabriel, which Peter Gabriel reused to perform because he's somewhat of an insufferable prick, or maybe was pissed off about this whole medley thing, yeah that works...John Legend bravely offers to be not a prick and step up and give Oscar viewers ninety watchable-listenable seconds...

And here's that other song from "Slumdog" which did not have M.I.A. on it...

And ta-da that's it! And the winner is "Jai Ho" from "Slumdog", and now the music categories are gone, so we can get all these brown people off the stage and go back to giving awards to Jerry Lewis...

11:05: Two people we don't know are here to present the award for Best Foreign Language Film..."Departures"! This Japanese dude actually makes a joke about his film, but no one gets it, and the director very awkardly jumps to a reaction shot of the audience, who are silent. And then, the Japanese dude is played out. This awkward moment is the most unintentionally hilarious moment of the evening.

11:10: Queen Latifah introduces the death montage, and she sings...she is good...

11:19: Here's Reese Witherspoon to present the award for Best Director...ZOMG, only four awards to go and we still have 40 minutes to kill...maybe we can reprise the Original Song medley???

Best Director...Danny Boyle for "Slumdog Millionaire"...no one here is shocked...

11:25: They really are trying to hit that 12:00 uptime, aren't they? The Best Actress montage begins...

11:30: Which color crayon in the jumbo box most closely resembles Sophia Loren's skin tone? Is it "burnt sienna"? What the hell, let's go with "burnt sienna"

11:33: Best Actress...Kate Winslet finally wins her long-overdue Oscar, and absolutely no one is shocked...her acceptance speech is far-and-away the most genuine and emotional of the nite...

and how great is it that she asked her dad to whistle so she would know where in the theater he was, and he did, and she shouted out and waved to him...

"I'm sorry, Meryl, but you'll have to just suck that up!"...classic!

11:36: The Best Actor montage begins...

11:43: Best Actor...Sean Penn wins in a non-upset that everyone has been predicting for the last month even though Mickey Rourke was considered a lock around New Years Day...

..and we are very proud to say we marked Penn, one of our all-time favorite actors, on our ballots this year...

interestingly, the Wikipedia page for Best Actor Winners was updated before Penn had even begun his acceptance speech...

11:47: Steven Spielberg introduces a Best Picture montage that honors the current crop of nominees and some previous classic winners...this, along with Penn's and Winslet's -- especially Winslet -- overly-long acceptance speeches practically guarantee we'll miss our 12PM upcut...but! Oscar, you still get a trophy just for participating!

11:52: Finally, the nominees for Best Picture are announced..."Slumdog Millionaire"! And once again, no one is surprised...

11:54: If "Slumdog Millionaire" had only one nominated "Producer" why are there like eleventy billion people on the stage? Someone at the party just said: "I think everyone who has ever seen the movie is on stage right now"

11:55: BREAKING: Hugh Jackman says good night! We made it before midnight!

we're signing off now...edits and updates to follow over the next day or so...

-- DHMBIB

continue reading...

Thursday, February 19, 2009

This Week In Tonight In American Idol [18 February 2009]

I didn't have the chance to watch Idol live on Wednesday due to previous commitments. But that's okay, because there really isn't much point to "live-blogging" the "results show", because the only important takeaway is "who left?".

But also as a result of said previous commitment, I don't know "who left?".

So, I'm doing an after-the-fact semi-live-ish-blog in which I'll offer up my first impressions on some of the changes that result from the new semi-final elimination scheme...

More -- or less -- as always, after the jump...
[Due to the timing of this, and the whole "tell us who left!" thingy, we won't be bothering with time codes...sue us! -- Eds.]

Ryan: 24 million votes after Tuesday's performance episode, almost 10 million more than "at this time last year"...okay, that's impressive...

Ryan: Kara, who disappointed you last night?

Kara: Stevie, Casey, Stephen...
Randy: Simon...
Kara: Simon...

Ryan: I'm not talking about after the show, I'm talking about during the telecast

CHECK PLEASE!

I can't be bothered to unpack this group performance, because it's late, but I am actually glad we'll get three of these over the next few weeks, because I actually like these...and F'IN' NINE OF THESE PEOPLE* ARE GOING HOME TONITE!

[* not necessarily nine of these people, moron...up to three of these people could come back as wildcards -- Eds.]

Ryan recaps Tuesday nite..."but, it was Tatiana who turned the nite around"...

SRSLY? was Ryan watching the same show I was???

Casey to the stage (she's gone, of course...)

Ryan: unfortunately, you're not in the Top 12

Stephen to the stage (also gone...)

Ryan: you...are...NOT in the Top 12

Alexis to the stage

OK, SRLSY PEOPLE, DID YOU WATCH LAST NITE'S SHOW??? THE FIRST TRACTOR-SEAT-OF-SAFETY HAS ALEXIS' NAME WRITTEN ALL OVER IT!

Ryan: you made it into the Top 12

i am SHOCKED!!!

So, here's a twist, perhaps -- after Ryan tells the semifinalist s/he is safe, s/he who is being roiled by butterflies must sing again...this is a change from previous seasons, when it was the rejectee who had the chance to sing again...to undoubtedly give her/him another chance to use the Idol stage to promote her/his career...

or maybe this is a an Alexis-Grace-only rule, giving voters another chance to hear someone they heard little of in previous weeks?

maybe this bodes well for Ricky Braddy???

Ricky Braddy and Jackie Tohn to the stage (Jackie is gone, but whaddabout Ricky???)

Ryan: Ricky, you are not in the Top 12

Ryan: Jackie, Simon wins, you are also not in the Top 12

Anoop "Dogg" Desai and Michael Sarver to the stage...

Ryan: the person going through to the Top 12 is...Michael

Ryan: ...Anoop heads home

And Rascal Flatts appears on stage to perform "I Don't Want To Be"

Ryan tells us that after 24 million total votes, only 20K separated Michael and Anoop...I guess that's a reminder -- you have to vote for your favorite...

Prediction for the rest of this show and Semifinals Weeks: Danny will make it through tonite, and Anoop is teed up as a "wildcard" finalist...

Oh, this is clever...after Ryan promos the new "American Idol Experience" attraction at Walt Disney World in Orlando -- using a tape of David Cook performing with Carrie Underwood -- he's ready for "the next two contestants"...

wait, why doesn't he name names? Oh, because it's really just Carly Smithson and Michael Johns from last year's finals, here to promote something (which I'm sure has nothing to do with the "American Idol Experience" thingy...)

[reminder: if you've forgotten how awesome the Smithson/Johns duet on "The Letter" was during last year's "final results show", please google your youtubes for the video...please -- Eds.]

holy crap! my editors paused the TiVo and inserted the above before I had any idea what these two crazy kids would be doing here! let's listen and decide whether this compares to last year's "original"...also, find that video!...

Incredible, even though I think last year's performance was slightly better...

Also: Joanna Pacitti -- please watch this video and last year's performance again, and write an essay about...your choice of themes...

Ann Marie, stand up...

Brent, stand up...

Stevie, stand up...

Ryan: none of you made it into the Top 12

Ryan: Danny and Tatiana, to the stage...

Ryan: Paula -- who is it?

Paula: Danny

Ryan: after the break...

Ryan: the person going through to the Top 12 is...Danny

Danny sings again, as Tatiana melts in a pile of tears...

To recap: Alexis Grace, Danny Gokey, and Michael Sarver made it through to the Top 12, with 4th place vote-getter Annop Desai well-positioned for a wildcard birth...

...until next week [?]

continue reading...

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

This Week In Tonight In American Idol [17 February 2009]

pre-show-ish: Hai! tonite I'm back with a live-ish first-impression blog. We'll see how this works. [We're doing this from a TVR'd recording, but it is still sorta live-ish, we swear! -- Eds.]

First, a little housekeeping...

There are some changes to this year's semifinal format. We have 36 semifinalists this year, instead of the last few years' 24. For each of the next three weeks, 12 semifinalists will compete on Tuesday, and America will vote, and each week the Top Female, the Top Male, and the next-highest vote-getter (regardless of gender) will advance to the finals. The judges also will be able to advance three "wildcard" contestants to the finals.

Tonite, we begin the first round-of-12-semifinalists. We are two hours tonite...LIVE!!!
8:03: Advice from the judges...blah, blah, blah, in it to win it...blah, blah, blah...bring it...

8:05: Only Simon gets it right -- for the next three weeks, only 25% of the contestants know they will get through...unlike in recent years, when *most* contestants knew they were safe each week...

8:06: Our theme tonite -- hits from the Billboard Hot 100 "since the charts began"...which means the Idols can sing basically any pop song they want from the last 60 years, but which also obviously means we'll have the usual mix of 60's and...er...70's "standards" tonite...

8:07: Our first 12 semis: Jackie Tohn, Ricky Braddy, Alexis Grace, Brent Keith, Stevie Wright, Anoop Desai, Casey Carlson, Michael Sarver, Ann Marie Boskovich, Stephen Fowler, Tatiana Del Toro, and Danny Gokey...

Wow! This is actually a very talented group! Many of these people are going home tomorrow...bummer...

8:07: First up is "Miss Personality" Jackie Tohn...singing Elvis' "A Little Less Conversation"...

...and she turns it into a Kansas City Ramada lounge song...

NO

"folks, don't forget to try the fish..."

also, doing herself no favors with the pants and the shoes...

I won't bother to recap the judges' opinions, cuz I'd be here forever...for the semis, I'll just give my insta-reactions...

gimme a break -- it's been a year since i did this...

8:10: BTW, Simon completely agrees with me...

8:12: Oh great -- three weeks of Ryan asking the families "how did the apple of your eye do? how mean was simon?"

sigh...

8:18: next up is Ricky Braddy...obviously, the intro order will be tonite's performance order...

he sings "A Song For You" by Leon Russell...

damn, this is good...

okay, this is really good...

all the judges agree, but Simon wonders whether he has "any star quality"...

8:22: Yep, here's the family again...this is how we'll fill two hours for the next three weeks...

8:28: All performances this season are available on iTunes. Good call, American Idol...

8:30: Next up: Alexis Grace...one of Idol's many fuschia-haired young moms this season...

...singing "Never Loved A Man" by Aretha Franklin...singing Aretha is almost always a bad choice...let's see how she does...

damn! this is also really quite good...

it will be so hard to "eliminate" nine people tonite...

Simon: best of the three so far..."reminds me of Kelly Clarkson...one to watch..."

8:39: Next up is Brent Keith...and we have our first tape FUBAR of the season? oh, and now the tape is back...

was that Tatiana on the tape?

8:40: Brent is back, and he sings "Hick Town", by Jason Aldean...

this is doing nothing for me...

the judges aren't really digging it either...Brent is in trouble, considering how well Ricky and Alexis have already done...

here come the Bucky Covington comparisons....RUH ROH!

8:44: Brent returns to the couch, and Ryan has already started talking to Brent's wife before Brent even gets there...already, the show has a "going over" feel to it...

8:50: Next up is Stevie Wright...she says she's been wanting to do this "since I was nine years old, when the show began"...

thanks, Stevie, for making me feel REALLY FUCKING OLD!!!

8:51: Stevie is singing "You Belong With Me", by Taylor Swift, another really young artist with whom Stevie connects...

and this is really underwhelming...

NO

Taylor Swift is not a great singer...but Stevie Wright is no Taylor Swift...if you get my drift...

and, SHOCKINGLY!!!, the judges are savaging her...

Simon: "it was terrible...zero chance of you making it through to the next round after that..."

8:55: Next is...Anoop Desai..."Anoop Dogg"...

Anoop is singing "Angel Of Mine" by Monica, which is a terrific song...

okay, this is fantastic...this guy has real potential...he's not Archuleta-esque...he probably needs a new look, but he has the vocal chops...

8:58: Anoop Dogg gets the first Paula Standing-O of the nite!

The judges are not crazy about the song choice, but they all agree he has "it"...if Anoop doesn't make "Top 3" on Wednesday, he's probably a lock as a wildcard...

9:06: Next up is Casey Carlson...Casey's singing "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic" by The Police...

there really are like two tiers tonite...this is "Tier 2"...and that's not where Casey wants to be...

Casey gets the first "karaoke" comment of the nite (from Randy)?...the judges are savaging Casey...Casey gets the first "you're beautiful" comment of the nite (from Paula)?

Simon: "threw it all away..."

and, they're right...

9:17: Next up is "oil rigger" and Ryan's "twin", Michael Sarver...he's singing "I Don't Want To Be" by Gavin DeGraw, which is a much better song than most pop critics give it credit for...

okay, when did Rascal Flatts vocalist Gary LeVox substitute himself in this competition for Michael? man, is this weak...

[LeVox is alright, but this IS weak -- Eds.]

the judges agree it was not a good choice, but they all agree they like him and would like to see him continue...

9:23: Next up: Ann Marie Boskovich, a "demo singer" (oh noes! another ringer!!!)...

she's singing "Natural Woman" from Aretha...please scroll back up...

it's "demo singer"-worthy, which puts it around the bottom...WHOA! what was that note?...the VERY bottom of Tier 1...

or maybe the top of Tier 2

OH, WHOA! AGAIN???

TIER 2!!!

top or middle?

PAULA ABDUL OUT-OF-IT SCALE WATCH: Paula thinks this is Ann Marie's best performance...discuss...

Simon: ruined your one chance...sorry...

9:34: Next up: Stephen Fowler, who's had some trouble remembering his lyrics...tonight, he will try to remember the lyrics to "Rock With You", by Michael Jackson...

okay, this is the "bottom Tier 1 slash top Tier 2" performance...

did AI producers deliberately give us 3 good performers every week, and 1 maybe-good performer each week, so there'd be an obvious Top 12?

the judges are not happy with this...

Simon: i wish you HAD forgotten the lyrics...corny...

[even Randy agrees with "corny"...]

9:44: Next up: everyone's "favorite" contestant, Tatiana Del Toro...

Tatiana, who has obviously won the Nobel Prize multiple times, thinks it would be a great idea to sing Whitney tonite...i'm not sure "which Whitney song?" is a question on which we should waste our time, but the answer is: "Saving All My Love For You"

i'd call this a passable wedding-band performance, but i suspect this is the end -- HOLY SHIT! what was that note?

THIS IS THE END OF THE LINE FOR TATIANA!!!

FUCKING FINALLY!!!

and Randy is giving her props for "moments"...and Kara says "moments"...Paula and her meds can't wait for this show to be over -- she uses the word "beautiful" twice -- but not in reference to Tatiana's looks...Simon doesn't know what to make of her...

HOLY FUCKING SHIT -- SHE'S MAKING IT THROUGH, ISN'T SHE???

9:56: Last up tonite, and I hope they hit their mark, because I have this on DVR, is Danny Gokey...

seriously, "Hero", by Mariah??? seriously???

okay, here's the fourth member of Tier 1

yeah, that was good

both Paula and Kara give "Standing O"-s to this...

* * * * *

DHMBIB's quick insta-analysis coming in a few minutes...

* * * * *

Okay, let's remember the new rules this year: the Top (vote-getting) Female, the Top (vote-getting Male), and the next-highest vote-getter advance...and the judges will select three wildcard contestants from all three weeks...

Here is DHMBIB's insta-analysis from Semifinals Week 1 (asterisk indicates "should advance"; double-asterisk indicates "should be wildcard-worthy"):

1) Alexis Grace* -- far and away the best female performance of the nite, and on reflection the best overall performance of the nite
2) Anoop Desai* -- better than the judges gave him credit for
3) Danny Gokey*
4) Ricky Braddy**

[huge gap here]

[pick a name out of the hat -- does it matter?? -- Eds.]

5) Stephen Fowler
6) Tatiana Del Toro
7) Ann Marie Boskovich
8) Michael Sarver
9) Brent Keith
10) Jackie Tohn
11) Casey Carlson
12) Stevie Wright

* * * * *

after-show-ish: voting may or may not be closed in all time zones, but DialIdol is predicting this:

Women:

1) Alexis Grace

[no other woman is remotely even close...if you saw the show, you're not surprised to read that...]

Men:

1) Danny Gokey [safe]
2) Michael Sarver
3-5) Annop Desai; Ricky Braddy; Brent Keith [too close to call]
6) Stephen Fowler [gone]

* * * * *

"see" you tomorrow...

continue reading...

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Grammy 2009: Some Predictions

It's Grammy nite, 2009, and I'm back again with a few predictions. Even though some of the "early" awards have already been announced, I swear I've been ignoring the news reports. So if this post "predicts" awards that have already been announced, I swear I'm not cheating.

Let's make a few wild-ass-guess predictions, after the jump...

For Grammy 2008, I made 22 predictions, and based on my scoring method, I racked up only 12.5 points. Ugh. Let's do better this year, even though this year is much more challenging.

(I'll score myself this way: 1 point for a correct prediction; 0.5 points for a "should win" or "dark horse" prediction that hits)

(For the full list of nominees see this)

(Also, if you're looking for a cool liveblog of tonite's events, try the only other music blog that matters, Idolator)

* * * * *

1) Record Of The Year
(Award to the Artist and to the Producer(s), Recording Engineer(s) and/or Mixer(s), if other than the artist.)

* Chasing Pavements, Adele

* Viva La Vida, Coldplay

* Bleeding Love, Leona Lewis (Simon Cowell, Clive Davis & Ryan "Alias" Tedder, producers; Craig Durrance, Phil Tan & Ryan "Alias" Tedder, engineers/mixers)

* Paper Planes, M.I.A

* Please Read The Letter, Robert Plant & Alison Krauss

As far as I can tell, this is American Idol judge Simon Cowell's first year of Grammy nomination. And, in case you're wondering, Clive Davis has won only three Grammys, which is actually a surprise to me.

This is a very tough category. Plant/Krauss will take home lots of hardware tonite, but probably not in this category. I think better bets are Coldplay (who will also take home lots of hardware) or Leona Lewis.

Prediction: "Bleeding Love"
Dark Horse: "Viva La Vida"

2) Album Of The Year
(Award to the Artist(s) and to the Album Producer(s), Recording Engineer(s)/Mixer(s) & Mastering Engineer(s), if other than the artist.)

* Viva La Vida Or Death And All His Friends, Coldplay

* Tha Carter III, Lil Wayne

* Year Of The Gentleman, Ne-Yo

* Raising Sand, Robert Plant & Alison Krauss

* In Rainbows, Radiohead

All of these albums are worthy of this award. I had Lil Wayne as my "number one album of 2008", and Ne-Yo was my "number four". Plant/Krauss made my 2007 Top 10, but it's eligible here because it was released three weeks into the eligibility year.

Regardless of each of these albums' worthiness, Plant/Krauss are a solid-platinum lock here.

Prediction: "Raising Sand"
Dark Horse: "Viva La Vida"

3) Song Of The Year
(A Songwriter(s) Award. A song is eligible if it was first released or if it first achieved prominence during the Eligibility Year. (Artist names appear in parentheses.) Singles or Tracks only.)

* American Boy
William Adams, Keith Harris, Josh Lopez, Caleb Speir, John Stephens, Estelle Swaray & Kanye West, songwriters (Estelle Featuring Kanye West)
Track from: Shine
[Atlantic/Homeschool; Publishers: Will.I.Am Music/Cherry River Music/Chrysalis Publishing/John Legend Publishing/Cherry River Music/Please Gimme My Publishing/EMI Blackwood Music/Larry Leron Music/Speir Music/Broke, Spoke and Gone Publishing]

* Chasing Pavements
Adele Adkins & Eg White, songwriters (Adele)
Track from: 19
[XL Recordings/Columbia; Publishers: Universal-Songs of Polygram Int.]

* I'm Yours
Jason Mraz, songwriter (Jason Mraz)
Track from: We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things.
[Atlantic; Publisher: Goo Eyed Music]

* Love Song
Sara Bareilles, songwriter (Sara Bareilles)
Track from: Little Voice
[Epic; Publisher: Tiny Bear Music]

* Viva La Vida
Guy Berryman, Jonny Buckland, Will Champion & Chris Martin, songwriters (Coldplay)
Track from: Viva La Vida Or Death And All His Friends
[Capitol Records; Publishers: Universal Music-MGB Songs]

I have no clue. None of these "songs" are far and away better than the others.

Prediction: "Chasing Pavements"
Dark Horse: "Viva La Vida"

4) Best New Artist
(For a new artist who releases, during the Eligibility Year, the first recording which establishes the public identity of that artist.)

* Adele

* Duffy

* Jonas Brothers

* Lady Antebellum

* Jazmine Sullivan

Another very tough category. All are worthy, but none are head-and-shoulders above the others.

Adele and Duffy -- aren't they the same person? The Jonas Brothers -- my niece likes them. Lady Antebellum -- aren't they a country group?; must be why I've never heard their music. Jazmine Sullivan -- sorry, her R&B does nothing for me.

Prediction: Adele
Dark Horse: The Jonas Brothers

LOW-HANGING FRUIT

This category includes predictions I am guaranteed* to get right, mostly because the nominees made it to the Big Four.

(*guarantee not valid in any state -- Eds.)

5) Best Rock Album

Prediction: "Viva La Vida Or Death And All His Friends"

You don't need to know who the other nominees are. Only Coldplay made it to the AOTY category.

6) Best Alternative Music Album

Prediction: "In Rainbows"

See above, and this is the last time I'll write this.

7) Best Contemporary R&B Album

Prediction: "Year Of The Gentleman"

8) Best Rap Album

Prediction: "Tha Carter III"

9) Best Contemporary Folk/Americana Album

Prediction: "Raising Sand"

10) Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals

"Viva La Vida"

NOT QUITE LOW-HANGING FRUIT

This category includes predictions that are contested, but make it to the Big Four.

11) Best Female Pop Vocal Performance

Prediction: "Bleeding Love"
Dark Horse: "Chasing Pavements"

12) Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals

Prediction: "Viva La Vida"

13) Best Rap/Sung Collaboration

Prediction: "American Boy"

RANDOM PICKS

14) Best Short Form Music Video

Prediction: "Pork And Beans"

15) Producer Of The Year, Non-Classical

Prediction: will.i.am
Dark Horse: Rick Rubin

16) Best Remixed Recording, Non-Classical

Prediction: "Closer"
Dark Horse: "4 Minutes"

17) Best Female Pop Vocal Performance

Prediction: "Bleeding Love"
Dark Horse: "Chasing Pavements"

18) Best Male Pop Vocal Performance

Prediction: "Closer"
Dark Horse: "I'm Yours"

* * * * *

Okay, it's 7PM EST, and some of the early winners have already been announced. I can't really go any further without looking like I'm cheating, so I'll stop with these predictions. I'll be back later to score myself.

-- DHMBIB

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