7:58 PM: Top 2 Week -- THE FINALS -- is here. FINALLY!
We'll be live-ish blogging here tonite, but, as always, if you want a PROFESSIONAL liveblog, you should visit Maura here.
They've switched up the format this year, it seems. Davidx2 will sing three songs tonite, but apparently for the first time ever, Cookie is being giving a pass on singing a song he's already sung this season. Stay tuned...
8:01 PM: That funny-ten-years-ago-but-annoying-now boxing announcer guy, Michael "Let's Get Ready To Rumblllllllllllllle!" Buffer, introduces our two finalists, who come out dressed as boxers.
My money's on Cookie.
8:05 PM: Oh, fabulous -- Ryan is keeping the whole "title fight between undefeateds" meme going.
8:08 PM: LickyLoo won the coin toss and will go second, because Dadager told him to. Sigh...
Cookie is rocking the trimmed facial hair tonite. Not making any pretentions about "who he is".
8:10 PM: Advice from the judges? Leave it all on the stage blah blah blah...
8:11 PM: Davids with some nice words for each other...
LickyLoo: this guy's awesome!
Cookie: you've just been one of the consistently nice people...as far as I'm concerned, the competition's over...we're just havin' fun...
8:14 PM: I'm really WAY over the boxing metaphors...
Cookie is up first with his song choice -- "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For", by U2.
This is the first time a U2 song has been cleared for AI. This has fueled speculation today that Bono will be "the biggest star in the world" guest on tomorrow's results show.
Cookie nuDaughtry's this very well, and, yes, makes it his own. That was a great performance.
Ruh-roh! Randy's been drinking from Paula's cup. he calls this "The Duel Of 2007"...
Randy: i'm gonna call you "DC" 'cuz we're "boyz" at this point...i don't think you did everything you could with that, but i loved that scoop-up at the end..that was hot, baby, HOT!!!
Paula: you may not have found what you're looking for, but we have found david cook...david cook has ARRIVED! you're in great voice...
Simon: i thought it was phenomenal...
I think Randy is in the tank for LickyLoo...
8:19 PM: LickyLoo is up next with "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me", by Elton John.
It's a predictable choice, especially given last week's poor stage performance during the modern "With You".
Wait -- I've seen and heard this before...
Oh yeah! -- it's the same GD performance he gives EVERY GD TIME!!!
I say: LickyLoo has no career ahead of him. He has no stage presence whatsoever. No future on the radio. No future on Broadway. A decent selling first album -- "decent" in this environment meaning maybe platinum -- maybe -- but that's it.
But, of course, Randy is in the tank for him already...
Randy: one of the best performances of the season...picked the right time to peak...FLAWLESS!!! MOLTEN HOT!!!
Paula: my heart's still pounding [from the meds??? -- Ed.]...chills up and down my arms [from -- oh, never mind -- Ed.]...the sun is never gonna go down on you...beautiful, sunny, sunny performance...
Simon: i thought last week you were "okay"...i thought tonite's performance was arguably the best you've done so far...
Simon: Round 1 goes to archuleta...
8:27 PM: Round 2 has the contestants tackling their choice of the entrants in the Idol songwriters' contest. For the first time -- not counting Taylor Hicks' revolt in Season 5 -- there is no "common" coronation song. The Idols got to choose which one they wanted to perform.
Cookie is up first, and he's singing a song called "Dream Big" by You.
Cookie's also brought the guitar out. I was skeptical about the decision to allow the Idols to play instruments during their performances, but I've come to enjoy it, and it's probably helped some Idols -- Brooke and Jason, I'm looking at you! -- get further than they should have.
This is song is very Journey-reunion-tastic, but Cookie is rocking the shite out of it!
Randy: the song was just okay for me, but what really made it work for me was you were singing you're face off!
Paula: you took a song that we don't know and made us fall in love with it...
Simon: using the boxing analogy, it was a bit of a lightweight...
Okay, so Simon is in the tank for Archie, too???
Simon: ...i thought the end was okay...bearing in mind, this is supposed to be a winning song, it didn't feel like a winning moment for me...
Audience boos...
The only way LickyLoo can lose this if every other eliminated contestants' fans have gone over to Cookie...
8:37 PM: Up next is LickyLoo, who of course has chosen the very-Idol-tastically-titled "In This Moment".
Of COURSE he's going to win.
Wait, I've heard this before...
(Sigh...)
Randy: wasn't crazy about the song...[and then Randy trots out the "in the zone...you could sing the phonebook" "critique"]...
Paula: on fire tonite...
Simon: you definitely chose the better song...in keeping with the nite...Round 2 goes to archuleta...
8:45 PM: Ryan says Randy and Paula say "it's too close to call"...
Wait -- this is the "singer's choice" round? Like Clive chose a U2 song for Cookie?
Anyways, Cookie says he'll be taking on The World I Know", by Collective Soul. Cookie says he's never sung this before, which is a...fib...because he was supposed to sing this last week before he switched up to sing Switchfoot's "Dare You To Move". In other words, he thought he was safe last week, and he wanted to save this song to go "out" on...
Okay, fibber, or not, that was a great performance. Now, Cookie -- HE has a career ahead of him...
David is very emotional...he gets a "standing O" from the audience.
Randy: very nice job...
Paula: you're standing in your truth...i applaud you...["standing O" from Paula]
Simon: i want to say publicly that you are actually one of the nicest, most sincere contestants we've had...it was a beautiful song, but it was completely and utterly the wrong song choice for you tonite...you should've sung "Billie Jean" or "Hello"...
8:55 PM: LickyLoo finishes up the nite with a reprise of "Imagine" by John Lennon.
And after the "we're sorry, we're so, so sorry" speeches the judges just gave Cookie, LickyLoo can't lose this competition unless possibly he decides to sing the verse about imaging there's no Heaven or Hell.
And...he doesn't sing that verse...
America, here's you're new American Idol -- DAVID ARCHULETA!!!
Randy goes off script and practically announces that the producers have manipulated the contest into a Archuleta-Cook final...
Randy: we thought all season it would come down to this...you are exactly what this show is about -- finding the best singer we can find, AND THE BEST SINGER OF SEASON SEVEN IS RIGHT THERE!!!
Paula: you've left me speechless...you were stunning tonite...
Simon: tonite, we've witnessed one of the great finals...tonite, you came out to win, and what we have witnessed is "a knockout"...
(groan...)
* * * * *
INSTA-REACTION:
David Archuleta has won. I don't see any way he can lose.
David, don't forget to ask Taylor Hicks and Ruben Studdard how it felt to them, too.
* * * * *
9:00 PM: Hai! Look! There's Ruben right there, singing this year's "yer outta here" song, "Celebrate Me Home". David -- you can ask him about "winning" the show in just, like, 2 MINUTES!!!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
This Week In Tonight In American Idol [20 May 2008]
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
This Week In Tonight In American Idol [13 May 2008]
7:58 PM: Oh, hai!
Top 3 Week is here.
In case you might be glued to a cable news channel right about now, don't bother (depending on your leanings) -- Senator Clinton is projected as a 2-1 winner based on exit polls.
8:02 PM: Ryan says this is "the closest race this show has ever seen".
Wait, which race is he talking about???
8:03 PM: In case you'd rather read a "real" liveblog, try this...
I promise I WON'T check it out until after the show...So you can read an unadulterated, uninformed liveblog...
Because I love you all THAT MUCH!!!!!!1!1one!1
8:05 PM: Top 3 Week has the Idols going home for a victory lap in their hometowns. And also, they all sing 3 songs this week: a judge's choice, a producers' choice, and a personal choice.
First up: Lickey-Lips.
Ruh-roh!!!!!
Lickey-Lips is first singing Paula's choice -- "And So it Goes", by Billy Joel.
It starts as an acoustic performance, and here come the strings and piano.
Appropriately sappy. But I have to confess -- pretty good.
Oh, Banned Archuleta is IN THE HOUSE, DAWG!
Randy: Paula chose a dope song for you...you can sing anything...i would've liked to have seen you seen you playing the piano...but it doesn't matter...you are in the zone! you are in it to win it!!!
Paula: it was a pure and sunny performance...tonite, i thought you were a storyteller...i it was a beautiful performance...
Simon: it was very good...no surprises...a bit predictable...it was good -- i don't think it was outstanding...anyway, good...
8:11 PM: Next up is Broadway Grrrl.
Is Randy in fatigues tonite???
Randy has chosen "If I Ain't Got You", by Alicia Keys.
This is fraught with land mines for Syesha.
Okay, FULL DISCLOSURE...I have been on the Syesha bandwagon for a while now, but that was FREAKIN' AWESOME!
very nice job...
Randy: an amazing job...you are peaking at the right time in this competition...
Paula: difficult to do a song that's so identifiable with such a beautiful artist...you look absolutely stunning...
Simon: you sang that very well...i wish Randy had chosen something where you wouldn't sound so much like the original...overall...and you look gorgeous, BTW...
8:16 PM: Next up -- IN THE PIMP SPOT!!! -- is Nu-Daughtry. Simon has chosen for him "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face", by Roberta Flack.
Simon chose this because he wanted to challenge Nu-Daughtry to do something original with a great song.
Oh SNAP!!!
Okay, this is competent, and maybe DIFFERENT -- but #3 of 3..."Sorry!"
Nu-Daughtry has one style.
Randy: been a fan since day-one...loved the high note at the end, but i wish Simon had picked something less predictable...i want you to rock!...i needed more rock from that...
Paula: it's actually about you!...you're my second favorite person who sings that...
Simon: ...maybe biased, but one of your best performances...this is what makes you brilliant, because you take chances...round one goes to Cook-and-Cowell...
8:25 PM: Looks like we're going to 9:30-ish tonite?
Lickey-Lips returns to perform his own choice, "With You", by Chris Brown.
Wait -- who TF is Chris Brown???
Oh yeah...
Oh golly...
Even Lickey-Lips can make me tired of an inescapable Chris Brown track...
But kudos to Lickey-Lips for singing something that is not on the victrola playlists of tonite's W.Va. primary voters...
Not bad...
Randy; ...i applaud that you are trying out something new and young...not sure it was the right song for you...
Paula: ...perfect...right tone for your voice...great job...
Simon: ...applaud you that you didn't do a shrieky ballad...like a chihuahua trying to be a tiger...it's not really you...all a little bit awkward...
[Randy agrees]
Randy: ...not really you...
8:31 PM: Next up is Broadway-Grrrl. Her personal choice is "Fever", a 50-year-old Broadway standard covered by Madonna, among others...
Oh, there's that word -- "Broadway" -- again...
Those of you who had Syesha in your "elimination pool" tonite, are you still confident in your pick???
That was solid, baby!
Randy: "a very, very, interesting song choice"...but you sang it amazingly, amazingly well...a great performance...
Paula: ...i'm surprised you picked this song...i'm surprised you picked this song, but i'm not sure it shows me who Syesha is as an artist...
Simon: ...i think you probably will regret that decision tomorrow...because you had a chance to prove that you are a contemporary recording artist...instead, you did quite a lame cabaret performance...
8:40 PM: Nu-Daughtry returns with his personal choice, "Dare You To Move", by "religious" rockers Switchfoot.
Is Nu-Daughtry becoming the new Nu-Smithson? Technically fine, but nothing to write home about???
That was just "meh" for me...
Is Scott Stapp quietly chuckling right now?
(Yes, I know Scott Stapp had nothing to do with Switchfoot...I don't need your "Dear Shit Fer Brains" letters-to-the-editor about that...)
ZOMG!!! Does that sign actually say: "Cougars 4 Cook"???
Isn't that one of the signs of the Apocalypse???
Randy: ...performance-wise, wasn't your best tonite...a little pitchy...
Paula: ...hard to get a long song in to 90-seconds...just got into it at the end of the song...
Simon: pretty much what i would've expected...all three of you had an okay middle round...one more round to go...
8:43 PM: Lickey-Lips is back with the producers' choice, "Longer", by Dan Fogelberg.
You don't know how much it just hurt me to type that...
Technically perfect, but obviously boring.
Randy: interesting song choice blah blah sing the phone book blah blah in the zone blah blah another hot one from you blah blah
Paula: lovely performance blah blah
Simon: sang the song very well blah blah but the song and the lyrics blah blah good enough to make it through to next week blah blah
[even the judges are tired of carrying Lythgoe's Archuleta-pail-of-water at this point...]
8:52 PM: Broadway Grrrl is back with her producers' choice, "Hit Me Up", by Gia Farrell, from the Happy Feet soundtrack. Never heard of it? Yeah, well, maybe they want her gone...
Sigh...
Actually, I thought that was pretty good...
Randy: Rihanna-esque...just "a'ight" for me...
Paula: liked it, but don't know if it's the type of song that defines you as Syesha-the-artist...don't know if it's enough to get you into the final...
Simon: ...better than the second song...you had your best moment with the Sam Cooke song last week...
THANK YOU!!!
I called Syesha's performance of "A Change Is Gonna Come" last week maybe the best of the season, and people laughed at me...
hmmmmph!
8:58 PM: Last up tonite is Nu-Daughtry, who is taking on one of the most hack-tacular songs of modern movie-pop music -- "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing", performed by Aerosmith and written by Diane Warren.
It's an Aerosmith-worthy performance.
Paula gives the performance one of her standing-O seal-clap responses...
Randy: ...okay for me...very predictable...
Paula: ...where the beginning and the middle and the end is...great performance...SEE YA IN THE FINALS!!!
ZOMG: Diane Warren is in DA HOUSE tonite!!!
Simon: ...one of the great songs of all times...I have to tell you, David Cook wins the nite!!!
okay, so the judges are TOTALLY in the tank AGAINST Syesha...
HRRMRMRMRMPPHPHPHP!!!!!!!!!!!1111one!!111
* * * * *
EARLY NEXT MORNING UPDATE:
The AI "polls" were open for four hours last nite, so the DialIdol numbers weren't "final" until not long before I write this.
If you've been following along, you won't be surprised by the results:
1) David Cook
2) David Archuleta
3) Syesha Mercado ("red light"; predicted to be voted off)
Sigh...
It's too bad, really, for so many reasons. This whole thing has felt "fixed" from the start. And I thought Syesha actually had the best nite last nite!
Sigh...
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
This Week In Tonight In American Idol [06 May 2008]
8:00 PM: We're back, with our certain-to-be most challenging live-ish blog yet!
Hey, we've been under a rock for the last three months. Is there anything important happening in the non-Idol world tonite?
Trick question -- there is nothing important in the non-Idol world.
8:02 PM: Our theme tonite is the Rock-n-Roll Hall Of Fame's 500 most "influential" songs in shaping rock-n-roll, or some BS-y thing like that.
Basically..."Idols! Your choice!"
8:03 PM: In other news...With very few precincts reporting...
NC: Obama 66%, Clinton 32% (1%)
IN: Clinton 57%, Obama 43% (36%)
8:04 PM: Cookie draws the "ruh roh!" first spot tonite. Cookie will be taking on "Hungry Like The Wolf", by Duran Duran.
Need I remind anyone that Chris Daughtry was the "shocking elimination" in Top 4 week two years ago???
Honestly, that was just a'ight for me.
Randy: that was an okay song choice...solid performance...that was just okay for you, not amazing...
Paula: your "Hungry Like The Wolf" has left me with a big appetite...
Simon: i thought it was good...a little bit copycat (whaaaa???? copying whom?)...is it good enough to get through to next week? probably yes...
8:10 PM:
NC: Obama 65%, Clinton 34% (5%)
IN: Clinton 56%, Obama 44% (38%)
8:12 PM: Next up is Syesha. Syesha is taking on "Proud Mary", by Ike & Tina Turner. This is an excellent choice by Syesha.
15 seconds in, and I already suspect it'll be a top-3 of the nite performance.
Syesha wisely is wearing a Tina-esque dress that shows lots of her beautiful legs...rowrrr...
Okay, that was fantastic...
Randy: 3d week in a row that Syesha has showed up, and she's in the zone!
Paula: you look like a star...you've turned into a beautiful woman with a magnetic voice and presence...
Simon: a bad, shrieky impersonation of Tina Turner...i didn't have fun...
8:18 PM:
NC: Obama 64%, Clinton 34% (9%)
IN: Clinton 56%, Obama 44% (42%)
8:21 PM: Hey there's that Irish woman with the tattoos who is such a loser she could only manage 6TH FUCKING PLACE!!!
(pouring a little malt liquor on the curb for Carly Smithson...)
8:22 PM: Next up is Dreadlocky. Dreadlocky is taking on...wait for it..."I Shot The Sheriff", by some Jamaican dude and some English dude.
It's predictably shlocky.
Randy: karaoke Bob Marley...nothing special about it...wasn't good for me...
Paula: i wasn't crazy about the performance, or the song...you're so genuine blah blah blah...
Simon: "Jason, stand back"...that was utterly atrocious...that is a song you do not touch...the performing and the singing was as bad as i've ever heard...this was like a first-round audition massacre...
Simon is absolutely right. Is the fix in tonite???
8:27 PM: Last up in Round 1 tonite is Licky-Lips. Licky-Lips is taking on "Stand By Me", by The Drifters.
AND IT'S THE EXACT SAME G-D PERFORMANCE HE GIVES EVERY SINGLE G-D TIME!!!
Which means, stamp his ticket to the finals!!!
Randy: one guy who every time he hits the stage, is trying to win the whole thing! dude was hot!
Paula: you're way beyond your years...you're seasoned already...
Simon: you could've whistled a song and it would've sounded better than the last song...very good choice of song..struggled a little bit at the end..the best performance so far...
8:34 PM:
NC: Obama 63%, Clinton 35% (14%)
IN: Clinton 54%, Obama 46% (52%)
8:36 PM: Okay, I may be the world's biggest fan of The Who, and Cookie will be singing "Baba Fucking O'Reilly". How stoked am I???
So far, it's a little too Cornell-ishly emo for me.
Dude! Roger Daltrey practically SCREAMS this songs!
Okay, now he's picked it up a notch!
I'm liking it better, but I still think he missed a golden opportunity there...
Randy: something a little different going on with you tonite, but that's the David Cook i've grown to love...you're the resident rocker dude, live that out, have fun with that...just be you, cuz you were great...
Paula: i just want more! i want more David Cook! i'm really humbled to sit here and watch your soul (???)
Simon: welcome back, David Cook
8:42 PM:
NC: Obama 63%, Clinton 35% (15%)
IN: Clinton 54%, Obama 46% (54%)
8:44 PM: Syesha comes back with "A Change Is Gonna Come", by Sam Cooke. Another excellent song choice!
Which means Syesha's probably cooked this week. Because it's not one of Sam's better-known songs.
This is Syesha's best nite of the competition. Which means Syesha's probably cooked this week.
That was fucking outstanding!
Randy: i did not love as much as the first song...i didn't love the arrangement...i didn't even like the arrangement with the vocals...
Fuck you, Randy! Have you ever heard this song???
Randy:...felt all disconnected...trying to be something that it wasn't...
Paula: how you orchestrated your vocals -- beautiful...you turned this into a superstar performance...you HAVE changed...you are magnificent...welcome to your dream, Syesha, this is it for you!
At this point, Syesha breaks crying...Paula gives her a standing ovation...
Simon: i have to be fair, and i'm going to agree with Paula...
the audience erupts! and Syesha breaks down even harder...
Simon:...with all due respect, I think Randy got that completely wrong...
I'm going to say it -- that was probably the best performance by any contestant this season...
8:52 PM: Next up is Dreadlocky. Dreadlocky returns with "Mr. Tambourine Man", by Bob Dylan.
Dreadlocky is doing "the Dylan version", not "The Byrds version", complete with acoustic guitar.
And, right out of the gate...
HE FORGOT THE FUCKING LYRICS!
Which only means he'll be tonite's leading vote-getter.
Randy doesn't even bother with criticism...
Randy: tell me, how did you think that was??? (laughs) jason's not in the zone tonite...
Paula: it is what it is...obviously, it didn't blow us a way, but you blow me away...
Simon: Jason, i'd pack your suitcase...
8:57 PM: Last up tonite is Licky Lips, who returns with "Love Me Tender".
Licky-Lips is such a tool -- okay, a young tool -- that he's not even familiar with one of Elvis' most famous ballads.
For some unknown reason, David has decided to perform this song the way Brooke would've performed it if she'd survived last week.
Randy: another great performance...i love how you caressed each word...the hot vocals of the nite right there!
Paula: one of my favorite performances from you...i felt your heart...it was fantastic...beautiful...
Simon: David, you didn't BEAT the competition tonite, you CRUSHED the competition tonite...
INSTA-REACTION:
Based on the performances alone, this is an obvious rank:
1) David A. (barely)
2) Syesha
[big gap]
3) David C.
[WTF???-sized gap]
4) Jason
Jason has openly spoken recently of being tired of the weekly grind. He knows he's already established whatever fanbase (and CD-buying base, and concert-going base, and...) he possibly could. Did Jason tank it tonite?
I'll be back in a bit with more, but now I'm off to get election results.
NC: Obama 60%, Clinton 38% (26%)
IN: Clinton 53%, Obama 47% (68%)
* * * * *
UPDATED:
DialIdol is in with their numbers, and the numbers are not pretty for a certain be-dreadlocked sensitive dude:
1) David C. (safe)
2) David A. (safe)
3) Syesha (safe)
4) Jason (predicted to be voted off)
I haven't been following DialIdol "from Day One", but I have never seen any contestant get the dreaded red light. Whether you believe in conspiracy theories or not, it does indeed look like Jason will celebrate himself home this week.
Also...
NC: Obama +14%
IN: Clinton 51%, Obama 49%
It's over...
