This Week In Tonight In American Idol [22 January 2008]

8:00 PM: Tonite, we're in San Diego for our 3d nite of auditions!

8:04 PM: First up is Tetiana Ostapowych. She's singing "Someone To Watch Over Me", a Gershwin classic taken on by many, including Ella Fitzgerald.

It's okay, but doesn't do much for me.

Simon says she's not as good as she thinks she is, which gets Paula and Randy's goat. Tetiana says, "Let me prove you wrong, Simon". He says "okay", and Paula and Randy provide enthusiastic "yes!" votes to get Tetiana to Hollywood.

8:08 PM: Next up is single-father Perrie Cataldo, who takes on "I'll Make Love To You" by Boyz II Men.

It sounds good, but to me it also sounds very "karaoke".

Simon, still shell-shocked from the horrible Dallas round, cuts him off for a fast vote, but still waves him through. Paula and Randy agree, and he's through.

8:12 PM: Idol returns with a very ill-timed performance from a 28-year-old from Australia [seriously? Do you need a link??? -- Ed.], Michael Johns. Michael takes on "I've Been Loving You Too Long" by Otis Redding. Taking on Otis is usually not a good idea, but Michael nails it, and he's through.

8:14 PM: Ryan tells us that the "California gold rush could not last forever", and we are treated to a montage of terrible singers...First up: Marat Hayrapetyan...[as you'll notice, we're not even bothering to tell you what these people "sang" -- Ed.]

8:15 PM: Christopher Mitchell...

8:16 PM: Tehilla Lauder...

8:16 PM: Next up is Valerie Reyes, who fancies herself as "the next 'Mariah Carey'". Valerie takes on -- and slaughters -- "Against All Odds", by Phil Collins. She's clueless, of course, and thinks she nailed it. Simon tells her she sounds like a Mariah Carey CD left out in the sun. Randy uses the word "terrible". It's 3 "no" votes for Valerie.

8:22 PM: Time for another montage of "suck". First up: Joseph & Juanita Mejia. Joseph (?) is wearing a poncho and sombrero. Juanita (?) is wearing mime-white-face, and...miming.

It's less entertaining than it reads.

8:23 PM: Ryan warns us against "gimmicks" in Season 7.

8:23 PM: "Gimmick-less" Monique Gibson takes on "I Believe In Miracles" by...wait for it...Whitney Houston. Are you surprised to hear that she is terrible? And she continues to break out additional songs, in the face of Simon's "you can't sing!"...And here come the waterworks!

8:25 PM: Christopher Gibson takes on "The Greatest Love Of All" by...wait for it...Whitney Houston. Ah, is that the theme for this segment? WHITNEY???

Terrible, of course.

Simon: "The reality is, there's not a single person on Planet Earth who would ever pay to hear you sing."

Gibson proceeds to try again. And again. And finally, the judges put us out of our misery.

NEXT!

Oh, wait -- I get it! Their "gimmick" was that they were a team (brother-sister? missed that) auditioning separately.

8:29 PM: Samantha Musa is the last audition on Day 1. Samantha brought her sister along with her, and Simon invites her to judge the audition along with him. She sits on his knee. Yowza!

Samantha takes on "Until You Come Back To Me" by Aretha Franklin. This is good. Maybe the best of Day 1. She's through with "4 yesses".

8:36 PM: Is Blake Boshnack our first "ringer" of the season? He tells us in his "backstory" segment that he's a serial auditioner, and his scrapbook shows us two golden tickets?

Blake takes on "Stand By Me" by Ben E. King. It's not terrible, but Simon cuts him off quickly, and Paula and Randy agree, no.

8:40 PM: Another montage of terrible singers...Sandra Ruiz...

8:40 PM: Sarah Long...Randy compares Sarah to William Hung, which Sarah likens to "the biggest insult ever"...

8:41 PM: We meet Alberto Hurtado, a hippy-dippy new-agey dude, who not only "is" "a big American Idol fan", but he has a "big fan" that says "a big American Idol fan". Alberto sings a self-composition, "Live".

Simon calls it "probably the most depressing song I've ever heard in my life"..."you were the equivalent of a storm cloud on a sunny day".

NEXT!

8:50 PM: Day 2 begins, and we are treated to another montage of bad singing. Aaron Garrett...

8:51 PM: We meet David Archuleta. Aaron is only 16 and has already survived "vocal paralysis". David takes on "Waiting On The World To Change" by John Mayer.

David is pretty good -- he even gets Randy to join him on backing vocals from the table. David also has an appealing backstory.

David is through to Hollywood.

Keep an eye on this one.

8:57 PM: Oh look -- it's "Carly Smithson". She used to be Carly Hennessy before she married a dude [to get that visa??? -- Ed.], with whom she now owns a tattoo shop in San Diego.

Carly reminds us that she was in America from her native Ireland 2 years ago when she auditioned for Idol and was passed through to the Hollywood rounds -- until she found out her visa didn't come through, and she had to withdraw from the competition and return home.

Carly takes on "I Will Always Love You", and, because we already knew she would, nails it, and she's through to Hollywood.

Simon takes a shot across the bow -- he tells her she was not as good now as she was 2 years ago. Let's keep an eye on this one.

Also, and it's stupid to ask, but it must be -- how will viewers react to her extensive ink???

9:00 PM: Carly is one of 31 auditioners from San Diego who get the golden ticket north. Tomorrow nite, we see what Charleston, SC, has to offer.

xoxo