This Week In Tonight In American Idol [22 May 2007]

7:53 PM: Golly, I'm bored.

Is there anything interesting on the teevee tonite???

7:57 PM: I'm kidding, obvs.

I'm sure my liveblogging will be as mediocre -- or even more so -- than ever. Maura will probably do a much better job, and you can check her work out here.

8:00 PM: Okay, so my phone and my clock do disagree. I'll go by my phone's time.

8:01 PM: Ryan reminds us that this is the 4th final -- out of 6 -- where we've had a "battle of the sexes". Idol likes it this way

8:02 PM: Ryan brings up Paula's broken nose mishap. It's a set-up to make a joke -- but not the obvious "so, are you on painkillers???" joke:: "so, the bitch is alright".

8:05 PM: Ryan rewinds the auditions and reminds us that both of our finalists came out of the Seattle auditions, which were otherwise pretty crappy.

8:10 PM: We see last week's coin toss to determine the order in which the idols would perform tonite. Blake won the toss and offered the choice to Jordin. Jordin said she didn't want to go first, so Blake chivalrously offered to go first.

Does Blake know what a moronic-ly bad choice that was???

8:11 PM: So Blake starts off tonite with a reprise of his "remix" of Bon Jovi's "You Give Love A Bad Name".

I really hated this the first time around when he sang it during "Jon Bon Jovi" week.

Blake reprises his beat-box-and-drum-solo interlude.

I still don't like it.

And, he's "pitchy".

The audience seems to like it, tho.

Blake is channeling Nick Carter's look tonite, which is probably not a bad idea.

Randy: "...10-out-of-10 on the beatboxing...the singing for me was just alright..."
Paula: "...Randy, I think you need to clean your ears out...you outdid yourself...i wish i could give you more than a 10..."
Simon: "...you're not the best *singer* in the competition, but you are the best *performer*...that was alright, and i actually think it was your best performance in a few weeks...flat in the middle..."

8:15 PM: Jordin opens up with Christina Aguilera's "Fighter".

Wow, that's a ballsy choice.

Memo to Idol contestants -- please, PLEASE, stop trying to performing Christina Aguilera.

That was a little shaky. Some pitchiness, and lots of yelling.

Randy: "...this is a very interesting choice tonite...that wasn't the greatest entertainment, but your voice was stellar..."
Paula: "...that was great, you were awesome..."
Simon: "...i'm glad you chose a younger song...but the vocals were a little shrieky in the middle...i'm gonna call Round 1 to Blake..."
Paula: "...it's a tie..."
Randy: "...i'll give the performance to Blake, and the vocals to Jordin..."

8:24 PM: Blake is back, and he's performing maroon 5's "She Will Be Loved".

This is a great choice for Blake. His voice tracks Adam Levine's voice perfectly. And Blake can come over the top of the higher notes, and it doesn't sound strange -- because that's how the original sounds.

Randy: "...great song...great vocal...a very pure performance..."
Paula: [babbles something about her painkillers kicking in]
Simon: "...good, not great...i wouldn't have chosen that song for the finals..."

8:28 PM: My sister and I agree that Blake has pulled ahead of Jordin, and Simon is trying to pull him back. Watch him praise Jordin on her next song no matter how she sounds.

I guarantee you -- song unheard -- that Simon will call Round 2 for Jordin.

8:33 PM: Jordin is back, and she's doing Martina McBride's "A Broken Wing".

It's not enough to get her back to where Blake. A little slow to get started, and a little shouty in parts. Jordin is still too inexperienced to know how to do it.

Randy: "...i still believe you're the most talented 17-year-old singer...you blew that out...that was flawless, unbelievable...better than the original..." [oh, snap, Martina McBride is SO not coming back to Idol -- Ed.]
Paula: "...you are adorable...you are in great vocal voice tonite..."
Simon: "...now THAT was good..." [and that's all Simon said -- Ed.]

Yep, the judges brought Jordin back to Blake, even tho he is calmly and coolly out-performing her tonite.

8:41 PM: Ryan introduces us to the winners of the songwriting contest. They are also from Seattle. Oh score -- maybe the winning song will be some Nirvana- or Soundgarden- or Alice-in-Chains-inspired rocker.

No, wait, it's called "This Is My Ridiculously Cringe-Worthy Inspirational-Ballad Song Which No One Will Purchase Even On iTunes".

[no, it's actually called "This Is My Now" -- Ed.]

Not surprisingly, this soaring ballad really tests the limits of Blake's voice. And believe me -- it's a test even a 5th Grader would not have trouble with.

And, not surprisingly, it's not a hit with the judges.

Randy: "...i'm sure this is not the kind of song that would really suit your voice, but you did a pretty good job with it...you don't have to feel that bad about it...it wasn't great, but it was alright..."
Paula: "...even though it's not really your genre, you were great, you were in good voice..."
Simon: "...i thought it was a little odd...it's not a bad song, it's just not the type of song you'd normally sing...i think we have to judge you tonite based on your first two performances..."

8:51 PM: Jordin is back with her take on "This Is My Now".

Jordin will obviously hit a home run with this song.

Actually, this is good, but I'm surprisingly underwhelmed by this performance. I expected better than this.

Right on cue, Jordin breaks up during the last line.

The judges will tell her it's maybe the best performance ever.

Randy: "...this is a singing competition...you were the best singer tonite...YOU DESERVE IT ALL, BABY!!! THAT WAS FIRE RIGHT THERE!!!"
Paula: "...you frickin' make me proud...your parents have a lot to be proud of...you're an angel..."
Simon: "...last week, i thought you weren't good enough to make the finals...but i was wrong...this is a singing competition, and you just wiped the floor with Blake on that song..."

Obviously, Jordin will win.

9:00 PM: Paula outs Chris Daughtry setting up on stage to perform "Home". Does this mean he's not available tomorrow nite???

9:04 PM: Surprise, surprise -- Fox misses the 9:00 PM upcut -- even on my phone [phphphptphpthpt -- Ed.]