This Week In Tonight In American Idol [8 March 2007 Edition]

It's a big nite -- we send home 2 men and 2 women and fix up our final 12. Starting next Tuesday, all 12 finalists [6 men and 6 women] will be competing against each other.

Which means the next few weeks should be a male bloodbath, as the overmatched men are eliminated against the far superior women.

After the jump, DHMBIB live-blogs the most important show of the season so far.

7:55 PM: To recap...

DialIdol predicts that only Melinda Doolittle and LaKisha Jones -- the 2 best singers in the competition -- are "safe" tonite. Everyone else is within the respective margins of error.

Regardless, DialIdol has Haley Scarnato and Stephanie Edwards going home for the women, and Sundance Head and Phil Stacey going home for the men.

8:00 PM: Thankfully, and appropriately for the occasion, Ryan tonight is rocking a nice suit and tie.

8:01 PM: This week's "group song" is Stealers Wheel's "Stuck In The Middle". It sucks. And Phil Stacey is still wearing that ugly mother-fuckin' hat. And Sanjaya Malakar is still rocking Paula's hair. Sundance head stands out the most -- he's embracing his inner Taylor Hicks, big-time!

8:04 PM: Ryan tells us that "almost 37 million votes came in" this week.

8:09 PM: After the recaps, it's time for the results.

We're gonna mix it up a little bit. First to the stage are Blake Lewis and LaKisha Jones. Both are SAFE!

8:10 PM: Next up is Chris Sligh. Ryan: "America voted...you are not...gonna find out, 'til after the break". Cold.

8:14 PM: Chris Sligh, still on the stage: SAFE!

8:14 PM: Next up is Jordin Sparks: SAFE!

8:15 PM: Next up is Phil Stacey: SAFE!

8:16 PM: Next up is Jared Cotter: GOING HOME! The judges tell Jared he didn't stand out from the pack. Jared gets one more crack at Stevie Wonder's "If You Really Love Me". He acquits himself well.

8:23 PM: Time for the "American Idol Challenge": "One of these Idols currently has a number one album...a) Ace Young [yeah, right!]...b) Kevin Covais [LOLZ!!!]...c) Chris Daughtry...

8:24 PM: Next up are Melinda Doolittle and Brandon Rogers: SAFE!

8:25 PM: Next up are Gina Glocksen and Chris Richardson: SAFE!

8:27 PM: It's time for Carrie Underwood to join us. Carrie sings "Wasted" from her needs-to-be-goosed-more-because-it's-only-sold-18-bazillion-copies album, Some Hearts.

Carrie sings and we go straight to commercial. No before or after convo with Ryan. Must have been part of Carrie's agreement to appear on the show.

Besides, what would you ask Carrie Underwood?

Ryan: So, what have you been up to recently?
Carrie: Well, thanx for asking, Ryan. Let's see -- the CMA thing where Faith Hill flipped out because I beat her there...the Grammy thing...The 5x-platinum album...Not much, I guess.

8:35 PM: Next up are Antonella Barba and Stephanie Edwards.

Antonella Barba: GOING HOME!!!

Stephanie Edwards: SAFE!

THANK YOU AMERICA for sending Antonella Barba home!!! But the downside, of course, is that she gets another shot at Corrine Bailey Rae's "Put Your Records On". She doesn't miss. She kills it. And not in the good way.

GOODBYE!

8:38 PM: Next up are Haley Scarnato and Sabrina Sloan.

Haley Scarnato: SAFE!

Sabrina Sloan: GOING HOME! The first "upset" of the nite.

8:40 PM: Haley Scarnato is crying. She knows she didn't deserve to make it through. Paula is seriously bummed. Ryan asks the judges what they think of this. Randy says, "America got this wrong, dawg".

Randy is right, America -- you got this one wrong.

But we get to hear Sabrina's take on En Vogue's "Don't Let Go" one more time. It's only alright, but still better than anything Haley Scarnato has done this season.

8:48 PM: Back from the commercial. Ryan tells us what we assume is the "major announcement" we have been promised. It is...

"Message: We care."

That's it???

The week of 4.24 and 4.25 -- the "final 6 week" -- will be a special week. The main AI sponsors [Coke, Ford] will pony up some money to charity, and the fans will have the opportunity to donate as well. Quincy Jones will be writing music, which we all know will be crap-tacular. And we'll have special guests. Gwen Stefani. Pink. Michael Buble. Bono. And...

...wait for it...

BORAT!!!

Because, OBVS!, what better way to show you "care" than to have a fictional character on the show, whose raison d'etre is to "punk" people.

Obvs.

Maybe "Borat" will pledge 1 days' proceeds from the work of his "sister", who is "number 4 prostitute in all of Kazakhstan".

[Borat??? Has American Idol officially "jumped the shark"??? -- Ed.]



8:55 PM: Our final semi-finalists -- Sanjaya Malakar and Sundance Head are up. My sister and I agree on this one -- Sundance's personality should win out over Sanjaya's bad hair and weak voice.

Sundance Head: GOING HOME!

Sanjaya Malakar: SAFE!

Paula is about to lose it. America has sent home Sabrina Sloan -- one of the top 6 singers in the competition -- and Sundance Head -- one of the few guys with an actual personality.

Ryan asks the judges again what they think of this. Paula: "I'm speechless...this is a singing competition, and you've been one of our finest". Simon: "I think America was watching with the volume down".

I guess our consolation is that we get to hear Pearl Jam for the last time ever on American Idol. Wait -- wasn't "Jeremy" one of the songs that killed Paula Abdul's singing career way back when???

8:59 PM: Ryan tells us that Tuesday's first finals performance will feature Diana Ross. I assume that means the finalists will be performing Diana Ross and/or Supremes songs. "And I am telling you" Ryan will not be performing "I'm Coming Out".

l8rz...