This Week In Tonight In American Idol: 28 February 2007 Edition

8:00 PM: Here we go again. Tonight, the final 10 women perform.

Recall that this is "dedication week".

8:03 PM: First up is Gina Glocksen. Gina dedicates her performance to her boyfriend. Gina performs Heart's "Alone". It's a bit of a shaky start, but the finish is strong. That's a good choice for Gina. Randy agrees, says she started out "pitchy" but "got it together". Paula calls it an "excellent job". Simon agrees it was a great song choice, but says he's "confused" about who she is. Simon thought she was more "edgy" than that. Simon tells her she can't outsing some of the divas, so she should bring out the edgy.

It escaped me last nite that first-up Phil Stacey dedicated his song to his Navy buddies. He sang John Waite's "Missing You". You know, with the chorus line "I ain't missing you at all". Just sayin'.

8:13 PM: Next up is Alaina Alexander. She dedicates her performance to her Mom. Alaina performs the Dixie Chicks' "Not Ready To Make Nice".

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH YOU PEOPLE AND YOUR "I LOVE YOU, BUT I HATE YOU" SONG CHOICES??? DO YOU ACTUALLY LISTEN TO THESE SONGS WHEN YOU CHOOSE THEM???

Alaina blows it. This song is too big for her. Randy agrees. He says she was out of tune, he calls it "a mess" and "all over the place". Paula agrees that it was "off" but not as bad as Randy says. Paula also says "but you look great honey". Uh oh. Simon says, "it's like Randy running 100 metres [he spells it that way -- Ed.]. Three quarters of the way into the race, he would run out of steam. You ran out of steam." Simon thought the finish was terrible.

I thought Alaina did not have one of the best performances last week, and I thought she might be living on borrowed time after Thursday's results show. I think Alaina's run has come to an end. She's out.

8:18 PM: Next up is Lakisha Jones, who is the best singer in the competition. After that trainwreck, she could sing the phonebook and it would sound like genius. Lakisha dedicates her performance to her Grandmother. Lakisha performs Gladys Knight's "Midnight Train To Georgia". OMG, right after I made the "trainwreck" comment. This is one of my favorite songs. Lakisha nails it. Of course. But she dialed it back a little this week. She knew she didn't need to be 150%. Randy says he could tell she was nervous at the start, but that she turned it around. "That was hot." Paula loved it. Simon says it wasn't as good as last week, which is absolutely true. Simon advises Lakisha that she should start acting like the star she is -- which is also a comment about her nerves. Simon also doesn't like Lakisha's outfit.

8:26 PM: Next up is Melinda Doolittle. Melinda dedicates her performance to her two closest friends. She calls them her "Gayles". "I'm Oprah and you're my Gayles." Okay, so Melinda is gay??? Melinda performs "My Funny Valentine", the jazz and crooner standard that has been performed by lots of people. WOW!!! She didn't just hit that out of the park -- she broke a windshield in the parking lot!!! She has thrown down the gauntlet. The judges are nearly speechless. Randy says "she's in it to win it". Paula thought it was fantastic. Simon called it "without doubt the best vocal we've heard throughout the competition". I think the vocal was equal to Lakisha's vocal last week, but this was definitely the best *performance* so far. Melinda looked like a star. Simon tells Melinda that the quality they most like about Melinda is that they think she is genuine and would not "change" if she won.

8:37 PM: Next up is Antonella Barba. I missed to whom Antonella dedicated her song -- I'll find it and fill it in later. Antonella performs Celine Dion's "Because You Loved Me". Did I say "performed"? I meant FUCKING BUTCHERED. THAT WAS FUCKING HORRIBLE!!! Randy agrees, says the song was "way too big for you", and was "all over the place". Paula says she was better than last week, which could not be hard, and may be true [she was horrible last week, but votefortheworst.com is pulling for her, and she's hot, so she made it through]. Simon disagrees with Paula -- he thinks Antonella was worse than last week. I didn't know that was possible. Antonella decides to pick a fight with Simon and says "Simon was wrong about Jennifer Hudson". All three judges take umbrage at that remark. Simon says, no, we got her to Idol, it was America that was wrong about Jennifer Hudson, not us. Simon, gentlemanly, says "if I'm wrong about you, and America disagrees with me, you'll be back next week."

P.S. There is no discussion about Antonella's racy pix. Idol has dealt with this. Let's all move on.

8:46 PM: Next up is Jordin Sparks. Jordin dedicates her performance to her younger brother. Jordin performs Christina Aguilera's "Reflection". Ballsy. Jordin is a little shaky. She's probably emotional and nervous. She's also probably just not up to this very difficult song. Yeah, she's missing notes now. Randy catches the nerves. Randy says it's a big, tough song. He says she missed a few notes, and it wasn't her best, but she'll be back. Paula agrees it wasn't her best and could tell the emotion of the dedication got to her. Simon agrees, not your best, but far better than some of the other performances. That comment was obvs aimed squarely at Antonella.

8:57 PM: Ryan tells us that Kellie Pickler will be the special guest on tomorrow's results show.

8:58 PM: Next up is Stephanie Edwards. Stephanie dedicates her performance to her Mom and Dad. Stephanie performs Beyonce's "Dangerously In Love". I don't think it's a good song choice, because it's not familiar to lots of people. BUT SHE FUCKING NAILS THE PERFORMANCE!!! When I wasn't looking at the screen, I could hear Beyonce. OMG, that finish gave me goose bumps! Randy says it was incredible and better than last week. Randy cautions Stephanie to *not* to try to sound like Beyonce but to sound like Stephanie. Paula says it was fantastic, and people love Beyonce, and now they'll love Stepanie. Simon says he agrees with Paula. Simon's quiet agreement with Paula's glowing review makes me think Simon had a reaction similar to mine.

Lakisha, Melinda, Stephanie -- folks, we got us a contest here.

9:08 PM: Next up is Leslie Hunt. Leslie dedicates her performance to her late Grandfather. Leslie performs "Feelin' Good", which as we know has been covered by several people. OMFG CAN WE PLEASE OUTLAW THIS SONG FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON??? A.J. DID THE SAME SONG LAST NITE!!! Leslie's twist was the jazzy style, with an a cappella beginning. I thought the performance was okay -- middle of the pack okay -- but not great. Randy didn't like it, he said she was pitchy. Paula thought it was great that Leslie got back to her strength. Simon said it was a good performance -- not great -- but that Leslie had the misfortune to follow some very excellent performances. Paula: "You know, it's like ice cream. Not everyone likes the same flavor." Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. WTF WAS THAT??? Simon responds: "Yes, but I'm afraid that performance was very 'vanilla'."

[DHMBIB Poll Question O' The Night -- What is Paula's favorite flavor of ice cream?

a) "Vicodin-and-Zima"
b) "Quaalude-and-Bartles-&-Jaymes"
c) "Everclear-tini"
d) "LiLo-Fat French Vanilla Connection"

Leave your guesses in the comments.]

9:14 PM: Next up is Haley Scarnato. Haley dedicates her performance to her husband. Haley performs Whitney Houston's "Queen Of The Night". The performance is very energetic, but it's still not "there". Randy just wasn't feeling it, and he doesn't like the song, because of the prominence of the background vocals. Simon: "that's why she chose it". Paula thinks it was head-and-shoulders above last week's performance. Simon brings up the old "don't sing Whitney [Xtina, Celine, etc.] because you'll be compared to her, and your performance suffers in comparison". Simon says it just wasn't a very good performance and predicts she will be in the bottom three this week. Translation: "8) Haley; 9) Alaina; 10) Antonella. You'd better hope VFTW and the porn-loving douchebags don't pass Antonella through."

9:23 PM: Our final performance of the night is from Sabrina Sloan. Sabrina dedicates her performance to her Grandmother. Sabrina performs Whitney Houston's "All The Man I Need". This has gotta be killing Haley, to hear the NEXT PERFORMER show how to sing Whitney. It wavers a little, but it's better than Haley. Randy thinks it's a great performance, though it did waver in spots. Paula thinks she's definitely one of the best in the competition. Simon warns Sabrina not to confuse shouting with powerful singing. He gives Sabrina a half-hearted repeat of the Whitney speech he gave Haley. He said he preferred her last week, but she's definitely a contender and will be back.

9:30 PM: And so, tonite's performances are complete. Here is my ranking of the women tonite: 1) Melinda Doolittle; 2) Stephanie Edwards; 3) Sabrina Sloan; 4) Lakisha Jones; 5) Jordin Sparks; 6) Gina Glocksen; 7) Leslie Hunt; 8) Haley Scarnato; 9) Alaina Alexander; 10) Antonella Barba. I'll update this entry later with DialIdol's statistics.

[UPDATED 4:00 AM:] DialIdol has the women in the following order: 1) Melinda Doolittle; 2) Lakisha Jones; 3) Antonella Barba; 4) Jordin Sparks; 5) Alaina Alexander; 6) Sabrina Sloan; 7) Haley Scarnato; 8) Leslie Hunt; 9) Stephanie Edwards; 10) Gina Glocksen.

DialIdol's predictions should become less reliable every season, as more viewers vote by SMS instead of by phone. But if the actual voting results for Wednesday look anything like this, this is a travesty.

Tune in Thursday to find out how accurate DialIdol is this week.

*****

16-year-old Christina Aguilera was selected to sing "Reflection", the centerpiece song for the Disney movie Mulan, because her demo of Whitney Houston's [!] "Run To You" showed that she could hit the high "E" ("E" above tenor high "C") required for "Reflection". The rest is history.

Memo to American Idol contestants: do not sing Whitney Houston, Celine Dion, or Christina Aguilera if you cannot actually sing the song. It doesn't matter whether the song is a personal favorite of yours -- if you can't sing it, don't sing it.

Christina Aguilera - Reflection [mp3, via YSI]
Christina Aguilera - Reflection [mp3, via zShare]