PRE-SHOW: We missed the live broadcast of last week's Idol Semifinal show, so we couldn't live-ish blog it. But then we saw it. And we were glad we missed it. That may have been the worst Idol performance show we have ever seen seen.
In case you missed Wednesday's dreadful performance show and Thursday's equally-dreadful results show, the Idols who made it through were: Kris Allen, Allison Iraheta, and Adam Lambert. For those of you who were scoring at home -- or even for those of you who were all alone -- that makes four males and two females making it through in the first two weeks.
Our preliminary prediction for this week -- Idol will figure out how to advance more females in to the finals, so we'll have a 6-6 split...
:00: Ryan tells us the Idols "have said goodbye to their families"...we are so glad we have ditched the whole "let's give the Idols the results in front of their families" thing...that was wrong...
:02: Ryan and Simon agree that Simon should be picking more of the songs...we actually agree with this -- Simon is the only judge to whom you need to pay attention...
:04: first up tonite is Von Smith...he sings "You're All I Need"...this, we think, is a cover of a Mary J. track feat. Method Man...
okay, seriously, this is quite good...better than every performance last week...rite out the block, dawg!!!
Randy agrees with us...Kara agrees with us...Paula agrees with us...
Simon: you remind me of Clay Aiken...sang very well...
Rite out the box, Von has set the bar...
:14: Taylor Vaifanua is up next...she's singing "If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys...
this is actually quite good...this is one of my favorite Keys songs, and Taylor is doing it quite justice...
but the song is a subdued song, and this might not have been the best choice...
it's so hard to sing Alicia Keys and do it "right"
oh noes...Kara is complaining that she doesn't know her personality..."what's it like to go shopping with Taylor?"
SRSLY???
Paula says we heard this in Hollywood...hey, did they show this???
Simon -- RIGHTFULLY! -- calls Kara out on the "shopping" comment...but he also agrees that she doesn't stand out..."bland"...
Randy gets a delayed comment: you didn't tell us anything special about you...
Ryan makes a "Simon wears the same shirt every show" joke...even though it was Kara who made the "shopping" comment...
SRSLSY???
:26: Next up is Alex Wagner-Trugman...Alex is taking on "I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues" by Billy Joel's favorite concert partner, Elton John...
...he starts out okay, but then he quickly rocket-man's into Hicksville-karaoke-land...
Paula: showman...
Simon: we had fun watching you, but not listening to you...
Randy: "crazy in a buck-wild sort of way"
Kara: you're honest...
:30: So, after three performances...
Von: yes-eligible...Taylor: wildcard-eligible...Alex: no...
:36: Ryan: "the first ABBA song ever live on Idol..."
you seriously have no idea how pleased -- the first ABBA sing -- and depressed -- ABBA -- we are, at the same time...
Arianna Afsar is the Idol...the choice: "The Winner Takes It All", which -- we are embarrassed to admit -- is one of our "favorite" ABBA songs...
this starts out horribly, but does get narginally better...but not mush...
but, no...
Simon: absolutely terrible...
Randy: [whatevs]...Kara: [whatevs]...Paula: old-fashioned [whatevs]...
Paula can't remember how the name of the group is pronounced...
THIS IS WHY WE LOVE PAULA!!!
Uh, Arianna: no...
:47: Next up is local-to-me Ju'Not Joyner...he's singing the craptacular "Hey There, Delilah" by the Plain White T's...
okay, this is a really bad choice...mostly because this song really suxxx...
there's no way he gets good marks for this...
Randy: pulled back, smart choice...
Kara: smooth...but you were holding back...
Paula: [struggles, which is not good]
Simon: better than I thought it was going to be...
We were wrong? can't be...
:58: Kristen McNamara is reunited with Nathaniel (coming...), with whom she clashed in H'Wood...Kristen's chartreuse extensions are gone...
Kristen is taking on "Give Me One Reason" by Tracy Chapman...
we would call this "competent karaoke"...there is no reason for Kristen to advance based on this listless performance...
This may be the best losing performance of the season...we enjoyed it for 90 seconds -- but we don't ever want to hear it again...
Kara: should be doing Kelly Clarkson...P!nk...
THANK GOD FOR KARA D!!!
even Randy calls it "karaoke"...
After six...
1) Von
2) Taylor
3) Ju'Not
4-6) Alex, Arianna, Kristen
1:04: Nathaniel Marshall, "drama queen", is up next...
He's singing "I Would Do Anything For Love" by Meatloaf....
countdown to Simon saying "...too Broadway..." begins in 3...2..1...
also, we're not digging his "look" tonite...
the judges literally are speechless...
and Kara breaks out the first "karaoke" comment for Nathaniel...
Ryan does the whole "simon has teh gey!" joke here, which is obviously a joke on nathaniel here...so cruel...
uh, no...
1:17: Felicia Barton is next...she's taking on "No One" from Alicia Keys...
this is the young woman who was subbed in at the last minute for the other woman who was disqualified for being an industry ringer...
let us take the opportunity to remark how we appreciate how Idol is trying to contemporize itself this season...
Felicia starts out very Keys-esque but then degenerates into whack-ness...
sorry, blew it...
Paula: gorgeous...
Simon: [totally agrees with us]
Randy: hott! made it your own...
Kara: problem with some of those notes...noticed you...
Felicia has good odds to make it through because she is already a "wildcard"...
we're just sayin'...
1:23: Next up is Scott MacIntyre...he of the vision difficulties...
he is taking on "Mandolin Rain" by Bruce Hornsby...
HEY! that was actually listenable!
...judges [blah blah blah]
Simon: you're growing on me...
After nine...
1) Von
2-4) Taylor, Ju'Not, Scott
5) Felicia
6-9) Alex, Arianna, Kristen, Nathaniel
1:34: next up is Kendall Beard...
Kendall might be this season's Kellie Pickler...she's taking on "This One's For The Girls" by Martina McBride...
yeah, def channeling Pickler and Carrie Underwood in the same performance...
uh, no...
Paula: best outfit...
Simon: you're def a country girl...
1:43: Next up is Jorge Nunez...he's taking on "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me" by Elton John...
not bad, but very Elliott Yamin-esque for me...which means, maybe gets through, but...
Simon: [givin' him props...]
judges: pimpin' you, dawg'...
1:53: Last up tonite is Lil Rounds...she's taking on "Be Without You" by Mary J....
this is very competent for me, but it is not blowing me away...
sorry, i don't think she makes it through on votes this week...maybe as a wildcard candidate
Simon: brilliant, but bad song choice
all the judges are pimping her, even though that was just a'ight for me, dawg...
after twelve, our first impression is:
1) Von
2) Lil
3-7) Jorge, Ju'Not, Kendall, Scott, Taylor
8-12) Alex, Arianna, Felicia, Kristen, Nathaniel
* * *
Likely to make it through this week -- first impressions (alphabetically...):
Von Swift; Lil Rounds; Ju'Not Joyner
* * *
Darkhorse candidates this week (alphabetically...):
Scott MacIntyre; Taylor Vaifanua
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
This Week In The Last Two Weeks In Tonight In American Idol [03 March 2009]
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