BREAKING: Area Blogger Posts Bloggosphere's 1 Millionth "Sorry For Not Posting" Post

Your long national nightmare is over.

Yeah, it's been three weeks. Three weeks during which you've not experienced the joy of reading our ruminations on American Idol [the finale sucked, big time! -- Ed.] and other things vaguely musical and whatnot.

But, we're back. Which is not to say that we were ever "gone". It's just that we had some day-job things suck up more time than we anticipated and blah blah blah.

Thanks for your continued support.

DHMBIB

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Tonight In This Week In American Idol [9 May 2007]

Dear Faithful Readers:

Due to a scheduling conflict, I will not be around to watch tonite's results show. So, I won't be liveblogging it -- but that's really okay, because liveblogging the commercial-and-filler-filled results show is not very fun to do -- and the results aren't very fun to read. I will catch a replay of the show after the fact, and I'll probably post some thoughts later this evening.

I also plan to update my liveblog from last nite, so you may find it interesting to skim back through that later -- or, not.

Speaking of the performance show, when I told Faithful Reader and Dear Sister KM that I would be having dinner with friends, she thought that meant I would miss the show. So she graciously wrote up a report [an after-the-fact report, not a "liveblog" -- Ed.] of the festivities and passed it along with permission to reprint it here.

My sister has long been a huge fan of the music of the Brothers Gibb -- hey, shouldn't they actually be called the "Bees Gee"??? [we can actually remember a time when radio DJs thought that joke was funny -- Ed.] -- so her report is very thorough and knowledgeable and slightly less half-assed than mine.

Enjoy the sweetness after the jump...

It's Top 4 night, three ladies, one man. (Wow, Blake is SHORT. Of course, he's standing next to Jordin, who's like 10 feet tall or something.) Ryan's in black suit, white shirt, skinny black tie. It's a good look for him. THIS is American Idol.

We meet the judges. Paula's the only one into the theme of tonight, wearing a feminine version of the Travolta white suit and black shirt, and a gazillion pearls. Seriously. I counted. Randy's in blue; Simon's in a white v-neck T-shirt. Put on your real shirt next time, for God's sake, Simon.

The schedule is tight tonight, Ryan says, and for once he's not exaggerating. We're almost at the three minute mark and we haven't even gotten to the intro of the mentor yet.

Our mentor tonight is Barry Gibb, founder of the Bee Gees, member of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Songwriter's Hall of Fame, producer of about a gazillion diva singers' albums (Diana Ross/Barbra Streisand/Celine Dion are the three named; I can think of a few more), and--according to BILLBOARD--the most successful songwriter/producer ever. (What most people don't know is that the Gibb brothers surpassed Lennon/McCartney several years back as the songwriters with the most #1 songs on the Billboard Hot 100, and Barry alone topped L/M for most songs in a single Billboard Hot 100 Top Ten back in 1978, so for once TPTB aren't exaggerating in their intro piece.) We come from the past into the present with Barry Gibb leading Melinda/LaKisha/Jordin/Blake through "How Deep Is Your Love". Hey, anybody remember Blake doing the arrangement for his Hollywood group sing to "How Deep Is Your Love"? Remember how completely awesome that was? Remember that Blake's the only one of those guys left standing now? You will, because NOTHING like that's going to happen tonight.

Mentor introduction interview: Barry's had problems with his jaw in recent years, so he speaks very softly and sounds like Sean Connery with clenched teeth. That said, there's absolutely nothing wrong with his singing voice; he can still hit all those falsetto notes and all the mid-baritone notes as well. And he looks good for a guy in his 60s. He's excited about these contestants doing his music, and you can tell that he actually is excited...but he also looks a little nervous. (Justifiably so, as we'll see later.) Back in rehearsal-land, the group finishes "How Deep Is Your Love", and he praises them all. "Want to form a group?" he offers. (Now that's not necessarily a bad idea. They really do sound good together.)

Melinda's up first. She's doing "Love You Inside Out". LaToya did this in AI3, and I didn't like it then. Barry Gibb is skeptical, especially because the song is written for a man's falsetto, and Barry Gibb's falsetto is so high that a woman has to at least be able to get into the low-soprano range to match. That's not Melinda's strength, and Barry's advice is to "remember that I sound like a woman when I sing."

Performance: It's not bad. It's a little jazzy. It's kind of funky in a good way. It's also kind of funky in a bad way. I can't listen to this song without remembering that the original lyrics, according to the late, great Maurice Gibb, were "Love you inside and out/Backwards and forwards with my cock hanging out..." Seriously, listen to the recorded version sometime. If you wonder why the word "heart" sounds so much like "hot" or "hock" in some of the chorus renditions, it's because Maurice was being naughty on practically every take.

What was that? How did Melinda do? Sorry, I got distracted. That's because, even though her voice is nice, she sounds incredibly dull, and she's taken the key down because she can't hit the falsetto notes. Somewhere, Maurice Gibb is spinning in his grave. AI needs to bury this song and take it out of the rotation; Idol contestants are now 0-2 singing it.

Judges: Randy really hates it, and you can tell because he's trying so hard not to tell The Great Melinda that he hates it. Paula falls back on the "hard to judge" excuse before she finally says that she didn't like it. Simon declares that it was "more like a backing vocalist's performance" and hated it. Ryan cuts off his comments, which really makes Simon mad. You can tell because he takes it out on the next contestant every time he gets cut off.

Next up: Blake, who takes on "You Should Be Dancing". He plans to beatbox part of it, like last week. Barry Gibb approves wholeheartedly. This SHOULD be right in Blake's wheelhouse...

Performance: ...except that once again, Barry Gibb's falsetto is REALLY, REALLY good and REALLY, REALLY hard for a guy not used to singing falsetto to hit properly, as Blake proves fairly quickly. Barry Gibb has a remarkable voice range and his falsetto is as strong as most singers' normal range voices. This is where the problem lies tonight, because Blake's falsetto is not strong AT ALL, and none of the other contestants, with the exception of MAYBE Jordin, can hit the notes with enough power to not lose their pitch. Blake especially has this problem--he's about a half-step flat on virtually every note, and getting outsung by the backing vocals. When he breaks into the beatboxing, this should be his home-run swing, but it's not: Some of the beatboxing is behind the beat, and he's STILL off-pitch. Then, remarkably, about halfway through the beatboxing bridge, he finally gets on beat and comes on pitch. But it doesn't last, and this performance is just really embarrassing.

Judges: Randy hated the beatboxing and practically begs him not to do it ever again. Paula thought his pitch was off, which is like saying the Titanic may have gotten off-course when it hit the iceberg. Simon said it was "unique" and "terrible", and he's absolutely right on both counts.

Ryan says you can "Tex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ext" the vote in a beatbox rhythm. Scarily, it's better than Blake's BB so far.

Next, LaKisha is taking on "Staying Alive". She's slowing the beat down and staying in alto. Barry Gibb isn't wild about the fact that she's staying so low that her voice bottoms out on the chorus. He sings the chorus and his falsetto is still just as beautiful as ever. He tells her not to be afraid to go up and hit the top notes, because he thinks they're in her range. She sings it with him, just to prove that she actually CAN hit the notes, and then says she'll follow his advice...

Performance: ...and then, as usual, completely ignores the mentor's advice, staying fully down in her alto, then bailing out on the singing completely when the melody gets too low, riffing on the chorus while the backing vocalists do all the heavy lifting. This, folks, is absolutely dreadful. She truly sucks. "Staying Alive" has been successfully updated by rappers and R&B singers before, but this just isn't working. The end-of-show rehearsal clip shows that during rehearsal, she tried a little falsetto, but then bailed on it almost immediately, making it sound really bad. She's having throat problems, as we discover later in the show, but nobody's voice at this stage of the competition is at its best, and that's not a good-enough excuse for this performance.

Judges: Randy thought it was way too disjointed when she would stop singing during the chorus. Paula says the crowd was on their feet when she came out, but then she slowed the tempo down, which didn't work: "They want to DANCE!" Simon says it's a good thing they're all singing two songs tonight, because this one was just "terrible" and that she's regressed in her style and is now back to "shouting". Damn, Simon, that was cold-blooded, harsh, and RIGHT ON POINT.

The show goes to commercial. Rob and I exchange a phone call at this point, and we both agree: This first half sucks so far. I remind him that AI2 did Bee Gees night and it went over great, with Josh and Clay doing dueling "To Love Somebody" versions and Ruben getting a good groove on during "How Can You Mend A Broken Heart?" Rob wonders if this is a Barry Gibb vs. Robin Gibb thing--Barry with his mid-range baritone and high falsetto; Robin with his mid-range tenor and lower falsetto--and I disagree. It's true that every song chosen so far is a Barry Gibb song--that is, Barry sang lead--but that doesn't excuse the contestants failing to completely grasp any of the melodies so far. He thinks it's because the songs are 30 years old. I think it's because this is a relatively weak group of contestants and none of them have the right voice ranges for these songs. Again, AI2, Clay Aiken's nearly 2-octave range and Josh Gracin's strong tenor voice had zero trouble, and even 1-octave Ruben found a song that worked for him. The only one who struggled that night was Kim Locke, and that's because she has the same basic limitations as Kiki and Melinda: She's an alto with a weak soprano range and a tendency to bottom out at the lower end of her range. Phil wouldn't have had nearly the issues with tonight's theme. Neither would Haley. Chris Sligh would have rocked it. Heck, even Sanjaya could have found a song in the Gibb Brothers' massive song library. What do all those contestants have in common? They have big voices (except for Sanjaya) and broad ranges. That's what you need to have to carry off a Bee Gees song.

Return to show. Ryan and Jordin in the "Coca-Cola Keepin' It Real" section, with a "question" about how what she's learned so far. Wisely, she does not mention posing erotically at war memorials (SNAP!) or wearing as little clothing as possible onstage (SNAP-SQUARED!).

Jordin's singing "To Love Somebody". This, and "Words", are my two favorite Barry Gibb songs ever. What they both have in common is the blue-eyed soul and a range that goes from mid-falsetto to mid-baritone. And, guess what, Jordin's range is at least close to that. So this song is actually a perfect match for her. Barry looks unsure at first, but eventually comes around, especially when Jordin starts soaring into her upper range. "A couple of hundred people have recorded this song," he says, "but I've never heard a better version than Jordin's."

Performance: Jordin is the first one tonight to get the Gibbs' blue-eyed soul right. The best version of this song I've ever heard recorded was by the Bee Gees in a live concert in 1976 (seriously, get "Here At Last...Bee Gees...Live", and hear these songs when all three brothers were at their finest), with Barry Gibb giving it the Otis Redding treatment. (FWIW, Barry and Robin wrote this song for Otis Redding. He died in a plane crash one day before he was supposed to go into the studio and record it.) The second best was Clay Aiken in AI2, doing his best Barry Gibb impersonation (and I've always felt like Clay should have recorded this for one of his albums; it's that good). This version, by Jordin? The third best.

Judges: Randy loved the Mariah Carey vibe. Paula declares it the best vocal so far. Simon agrees with both judges.

First half is over, and the rankings:

Jordin

(gap)

Melinda

(enormous gap)

Blake

(small gap)

LaKisha

Kiki's in real trouble here, folks. She knows she's on the bubble and needs a real killer performance here, and the only thing she's killed so far is the first song. Blake's not any better, and this is the first real sign of weakness Melinda's shown.

Back for the second half, starting with the Coca-Cola segment, where Ryan asks what the first tape or CD Melinda ever bought for herself was. Melinda says it was a tape and reminds everyone that she's OLD (bad move, MindyDoo), and that it was Michael Jackson's "Bad", which her mom crossed out on the inner liner and wrote "Good" instead. MindyDoo is so adorable.

Melinda's second choice is "How Can You Mend A Broken Heart". This is a song better suited to Melinda's range. Barry doesn't like the fact that she keeps reworking the chorus to remove the part "How can a loser ever win", but Melinda explains that she's trying not to jinx herself with "loser" or words like that. Barry laughs and agrees that's not a bad answer.

Performance: Outstanding. She doesn't sing the "loser" line, and she turns it into a bluesy jazz club tune. Fantastic. Her key change is phenomenal. This is a song with a fairly small range and it's been remade a gazillion times by R&B artists, so it's not hard to get a version of it that practically anybody can sing. That said, she's just amazing.

Judges: Randy loved it. Paula think she's a great throwback but wants her to be less technical and more emotional. Simon notes that Melinda looks like she doesn't understand a word of that. Then he tells her that the second half of the song probably put her into the semi-finals (top 3). I agree that this punched her ticket to next week, but she's in real trouble after that. I think she'll get sabotaged by either Clive Davis, the judges, or both, to make room for Jordin to make the finals instead of her.

Blake's second choice is "This Is Where I Came In", one of the Gibbs' late career songs. I really like this song, and it's one of the last ones the three Gibbs recorded together before Maurice's death. Barry thinks it's a really odd choice, because it's a relatively unknown tune, and notes that he thought it could have been a huge hit when it was first released. "I still do," he continues. "Maybe this version will be the one."

Performance: Blake's boy-banded the backbeat and is doing the argyle sweater look again. He's really getting into it and mixing both great vocals and beatboxing to great effect. Compared to the first song, this is out-freaking-standing.

Judges: Randy liked it better than the first song but thinks it would have been better without beatboxing. Paula likes that Blake is the "contemporary rebel" of the competition and that, more importantly, he stayed on pitch throughout the song. Simon hated the song (because he doesn't know it), thought it was a bad song choice (because he doesn't know it), and thought Blake really stumbled tonight, especially with this song (because he doesn't know it). Sensing a theme here?

Ryan vamps in the audience with Judge Judy (!) and Simon's mother, and pimps the songwriting competition. Thought we were tight on time tonight, Ryan.

LaKisha's second song is "Run To Me". I like "Run To Me" (from the early 70s), but again it's not one of the Bee Gees' better-known tunes (it's from their transition from 60s Brit-Pop to 70's blue-eyed soul, and it's got a little bit of both styles in it). Barry once more tells her to stop hanging around the alto range and actually go up and hit the big notes.

Performance: This time, she listens to Barry and actually does strike some of the higher notes during the chorus and key change. It's miles better than her first one...until the last note, which she totally biffs because she's blown her voice out. Don't worry, KiKi, you're going home tomorrow night anyway, so you'll have time to rest before the tour.

Judges: Randy really liked it and says "Don't worry about that last note". KiKi tries to thank him and her voice really is gone. The words are raspy and hoarse. Paula tells her that she did great and not to beat herself up over the last note. (Translation: Look, audience, LaKisha's blown her voice out! She can't go on! Won't you send her home and let her rest?) Simon puts forth TPTB's official message tonight, which is that "you and Blake are very vulnerable tonight".

Nine minutes to go. Will they make it without missing the upcut to HOUSE?

Back from commercial, and it's Jordin's last go-round. She's doing "Woman In Love". O.K., this is a guaranteed ticket-puncher to next week if she can pull it off. She's already proven she can do this kind of song before with "I Who Have Nothing". Barry Gibb is practically offering to produce her first album for her. She really does sound great in practice.

Performance: Simple, beautiful, rich-voiced. Everybody says never take on Streisand on this show, but actually for a contestant with a range like Jordin's, Streisand is the perfect performer to take on. Babs has MAYBE an 11-note range, so all of her songs are arranged to take maximum advantage of that. This song is actually one of the few Babs songs that pushes her range to its max, and that's why it was such a huge hit in the late 70s--it didn't sound ANYTHING like what Babs had ever done. Jordin, wisely, sticks to the basic arrangement, hits every note beautifully (she does shout a little bit near the end), and just blows everybody out of the water tonight. She's got a real young Mariah Carey look and sound to her tonight, and she's wearing a gorgeous full-length dress with lots of cleavage showing.

Judges: Randy thought it wasn't her best, but it was great, and offers "props to Barry Gibb for a great bunch of songs tonight" (Translation: The Gibbs have 40 years worth of material to choose from and y'all chose THOSE? Damn...). Paula can't bring herself to criticize Jordin, but neither can she form a coherent sentence. Either her happy pills finally kicked in, or she's been told not to praise Jordin to get her some sympathy votes (and either one is possible, frankly). Simon brings out the "pageanty" hammer and the "you're so young but you sound so old" slam to make sure the take-home message is transmitted correctly: "Jordin sang great, right? But the judges hated her! You've got to vote for her en masse!"

Recap. They miss the 2100 EST5EDT upcut, as usual, this time a little over 30 seconds into the recap before they run over. (I'm betting money ABC is already preparing their FCC protest, as they've done this all season long and it cuts into the turn-over rate to DANCING WITH THE STARS. I'm sure that's just a coincidence. Only, not.) The rehearsal clips show Melinda sounded good, Blake sounded a LOT better in rehearsal, KiKi sounded a lot WORSE, and Jordin was excellent.

And then...the show turns awesome. We get our first "Seacrest--OUT!" of the entire season at 2102 EST5EDT. That made the entire evening worthwhile...almost.

My order from first half to second half didn't change, except Jordin's lead over Melinda is bigger. Blake and Kiki will probably be the bottom 2, and it'll be Kiki going home because of Blake probably picking up most of Chris' fans (and some of Phil's, too).

Now, for my biggest bugaboo about tonight's show: SONG CHOICE.

Remember at the beginning of the show, when we learned that Barry Gibb's in the R&R HOF, the Songwriter HOF, most successful songwriter/producer combo ever, etc.? None of those are exaggerations. The Bee Gees catalog from 1975 to 1979 ALONE has enough awesome material in it to fill a half-dozen AI shows. Let's think about what we didn't hear tonight:

-- "Emotion", most recently by Destiny's Child.
-- "Islands In The Stream", Kenny Rogers/Dolly Parton.
-- "If I Can't Have You", Yvonne Elliman, whose range is very similar to Melinda and KiKi's. Ditto "Love Me", also recorded by Elliman.
-- "I Just Want To Be Your Everything", Andy Gibb (written by Barry).
-- "Rest Your Love On Me Awhile", Olivia Newton-John.
-- "More Than A Woman", Tavares
-- "Nights on Broadway", which Ruben--RUBEN!--did in AI2 and Constantine did in AI4, both very well.
-- "How Deep Is Your Love" (though they might be saving that for the group number).

I could list about two dozen more and still not run out of material. Why, in the name of all that is good and holy, didn't they pick one of THESE? Instead, we get one real uptempo tune ("You Should Be Dancing"), two disco dance tunes turned into slow grooves ("Love You Inside Out" and "Stayin' Alive"), and the rest were ballads. BALLADS. Think about this for a minute. You have as your "mentor" the songwriter whose mid-70s catalog virtually DEFINED "disco" (in fact, IIRC, "Jive Talkin'" was the first #1 song on the newly-lauched Billboard Disco chart in 1975), he's giving over his entire catalog to you, and all you can pick are BALLADS? Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot, with a capital "Foxtrot", is going on here?

And finally, a check of DialIdol. DI this season has been more indicative of trends than predictive. Over the past few weeks, Melinda's been sinking loike a rock, Jordin's rising, and Blake is hot on her heels. DI, so far this season, has not had ONE contestant whose MoE kept them in the "safe" range, get voted out. NOT ONE. So, at 0300 EST5EDT DI had this to say:

1. Blake (22.4, MoE 2.6)
2. Jordin (22.2, MoE 2.6)

(Meaning, in essence, they're tied, and so far ahead of the 3-4 spots that neither is in any danger.)

3. Melinda (12.0, MoE 2.7)
4. LaKisha (11.6, MoE 2.8)

(Meaning the judges may indeed get their "shocking elimination" yet this season, because MindyDoo going out in 4th would be huge. We're talking Chris Daughtry huge, people. This is your front-runner and best performer, and she's on the verge of elimination. Wow.)

--Kimberly Murphy -- kimmurphysmith@yahoo.com
http://stores.ebay.com/kimberlyknits-fashion-boutique?refid=store

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META: Ask, And Ye Shall Receive...Maybe

Some of my faithful readers recently commented to me that my posts were so long that it was difficult for readers to scan through to find particular posts of interest. For some time, I have been wanting to enable "jump" capability to cut down on the lengthy posts taking up so much space on the main page.

After much frustration and testing, I'm proud to announce this new functionality on DHMBIB.

Enabling this functionality was much more difficult than it should have been. Blogger was not very helpful, unfortunately, as their HowTo article works only for the old version of Blogger, and not the "new" version I'm using.

After much searching, I found some very helpful instructions on how to enable the "jump" functionality on Ramani's Hackosphere blog. These instructions worked like a champ! Thanks, Ramani!

I'll be re-editing some of my older posts -- this hack requires code in each post, as well as in the site template -- to enable this functionality in those posts, to make the site more readable.

Of course, I'm open to feedback from my readers. Please let me know your thoughts.

ciaobaby

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This Week In Tonight In American Idol: 1 March 2007 Edition

8:00 PM: We're back for elimination nite!

Ryan's rocking his "ooh, look, I didn't shave today" look!

8:07 PM: After the recaps, our 20 remaining wannabes perform "Joy To The World" as their group number. I realize there's "no pressure" on the contestants now, but if they would perform their competition songs with the same enthusiasm and abandon with which they perform these group numbers, they could really shake up the results.

8:13 PM: Whack time! The guys are up first. Phil Stacey: safe.

8:13 PM: Chris Sligh: safe.

8:14 PM: Sundance Head: safe.

8:14 PM: Blake Lewis: safe.

8:15 PM: Jared Cotter -- uh oh, Ryan makes him "join me" on the stage. Safe!

8:15 PM: Nicholas "Nick" Pedro: going home!

DialIdol had Nick at #9. Score one for DialIdol! I had Nick at either #7 or #8. Score none for me!

8:17 PM: Nick performs "Fever" one more time. I liked it better than his Tuesday nite performance.

8:19 PM: Hey, look -- Paula is dancing!!! Has that ever happened before???

8:20 PM: Jennifer Love Hewitt is shilling for Hanes. This commercial is for some comfy-fit bras or something. DHMBIB heartily approves of commercials featuring Jennifer Love Hewitt modeling bras.

8:23 PM: Okay, it's the women's turn. Stephanie Edwards: safe.

8:24 PM: Gina Glocksen: safe.

8:25 PM: Sabrina Sloan: safe.

8:25 PM: Melinda Doolittle: safe.

8:26 PM: Alaina Alexander: going home!

DialIdol had Alaina at #5. Score none for DialIdol. I had Alaina at #9. Score one for me!

DialIdol was way off, as I had hoped would be the case. There is hope for AI7 voters after all.

Later, I'll explain how DialIdol could have been so far off.

8:27 PM: Alaina is very unhappy. Time for Alaina to sing "Not Ready To Make Nice". Alaina immediately chokes up. She can't do it. The band keeps playing, and the rest of the women join her onstage and give her some backing vocal support and lots of hugs. Alaina struggles to continue, and mercifully the song comes to an end.

I'll cut Alaina some slack and not "critique" the performance.

8:34 PM: The American Idol Challenge thingy. "Which of these Idols had a big nite at the Grammys this year?" a) Taylor Hicks; b) Carrie Underwood; c) Ruben Studdard. Gee, i have no idea what the answer is.

Notice that voting in this contest is done *only* by SMS. This is the future of American Idol voting. I'll come back to this theme in my DialIdol breakdown.

8:35 PM: It's the return of Kellie Pickler!!! She looks to have gained a few pounds. And a set of twins. If you catch my drift. Cut to Simon -- whispering to Paula -- gee, did he catch this too?

8:36 PM: Ryan: "Have you spent any of the money on anything?"
Kellie: "I bought some shoes." Camera cuts to shoes as Kellie twirls to...model them???
Ryan: "Is that all?"
Kellie: "Yeah!"

Ryan is not so gay that he doesn't notice the twin 800-pound gorillas about to pop out of that blue dress.

8:37 PM: Kellie sings a new song called "Priceless" "I Wonder". It's not bad. She seems to have had a great deal of vocal training.

8:45 PM: Back to the whacking of the men, so-to-speak [whoa! -- Ed.]. Chris Richardson: safe.

8:45 PM: Brandon Rogers: safe.

8:46 PM: Only Sanjaya and A.J. remain. A.J. Tabaldo: going home! Sanjaya Malakar: safe. A.J. pronounces himself "shocked"!

DialIdol had A.J. At #7. Score none for DialIdol! I didn't rank the men, but A.J. was not in my "bottom four". Score none for me!

8:47 PM: All of the judges are shocked by this result, as A.J. performed well on Tuesday.

8:48 PM: A.J. performs "Feelin' Good" for, we can only hope, the last time for any contestant for the rest of the season. It's a good performance. And it shows why he should have stayed and Sanjaya should be gone.

8:53 PM: Back to the women. Lakisha Jones: safe.

8:54 PM: Haley Scarnato: safe.

8:54 PM: Antonella, Leslie, and Jordin remain. Ryan asks them to join him. Antonella Barba: safe.

8:55 PM: Leslie Hunt: going home. Jordin Sparks: safe. Leslie breaks down but is able to compose herself.

DialIdol had Leslie at #8. Score none for DialIdol! I had Leslie at #7. Score none for me!

Our final score -- it's a tie: DialIdol, 1 point [of 4]; DHMBIB, 1 point [of 4].

8:56 PM: Ryan speaks to the judges in American Idol-ese. "Did the right people get sent home tonite"? Simon can't contain himself, he laughs so hard. The judges and Ryan engage in their coded AI speak ["It's American Idol -- anything can happen"..."America, you have to vote for your favorite"...].

8:57 PM: Daughtry tells our evictees to go "Home".

8:59 PM: Leslie closes the show with yet another shitty version of "Feelin' Good". Sigh. But at least she still has a sense of humor -- instead of the "scat" from Wednesday, she scats "why did I decide to scat?". Good one.

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META: What Is A Live Blog?

Recently, I posted two entries that I labeled as "live blog" entries:

Liveblogging The 2007 Grammys

Live-Blogging The 2007 Oscars: The During

Put simply, a "live blog" is typically a blog of a live event -- such as an awards ceremony or a speech -- that is updated in real time as the event unfolds. Construed most strictly, a "live blog" post should end when the event ends. Many live-bloggers adhere very strictly to this idea of live blogging.

I have taken the editorial liberty with my live blog posts to go back after the fact and make changes to already-published entries. I have always noted that I have done this, but I rarely highlight specific entries that have been changed [or even added]. Does this mean I'm not really "live-blogging"???

Live-blogging is difficult -- much more difficult than creating a traditional blog post. Events unfold dynamically and quickly, and there is usually no time to step back and "add something that I forgot to add" or take a big-picture view of the event being blogged. Also, the mere fact that the blogger is adding to the post makes it very easy to miss new developments in the event.

I am not a fast or completely-accurate typist -- and my accuracy declines as I attempt to type even faster. My brain works faster than my fingers, and I find that in the heat of the battle I make a lot of spelling and grammatical errors, and I substitute words from my head with different words on the screen that I did not intend. When I have time to review my posts, which might be during the event or at the completion of the event, I see many errors I wish to correct. I consider these kinds of corrections harmless, and I don't hesitate to make them.

Live-blogs have two potential audiences. The first audience is composed of readers who "tune in" to follow the live blog in "real time". This audience is constantly "refreshing" the blog to see new entries. This audience probably wouldn't care very much if the blogger went back and changed -- or didn't change -- a few spelling errors.

The second audience is composed of casual blog readers who will read the live blog as just another post on the blog, perhaps the next day, the next week, or six months later. This audience obviously also wouldn't care very much if the blogger had "gone back" to correct errors. Indeed, this audience's opinion of the blog would suffer if it appeared riddled with obvious spelling and grammatical errors.

But I have acknowledged that my edits of my "live blogs" go even further. I not only go back and fix spelling errors, I go back and add new content. Sometimes, this is something that popped into my head a few minutes after the appropriate "time" to write it had passed. Sometimes, though, this is "supplemental" information to which I did not have access at the time. Frequently, this includes links to external sites, or photos and video clips from the event that might not be widely available until the next day. Given enough technology, the blogger can have access to these things in real time, and thus blog them in real time. But I don't have this technology yet.

I add these things because I think they make my blog post more enjoyable, and the reading experience a better one for my audience. The "live blog" audience may object to this because it brings into question the whole label of "live blogging". The more casual audience may also be bothered by this -- for the same reason -- but I believe the extra context adds extra value both for the casual audience and for the live audience who may return for a second look.

I will continue my practice of "updating" my live blog posts unless I hear overwhelming objections to the contrary. I acknowledge that I should probably clarify what I am doing -- and when I am doing it -- and I pledge to make that clearer. This will include making it clear that I may add content after-the-fact, and that "live blog" readers are encouraged to check back the next day for additional information.

I hope you enjoy my blog. Please keep reading, and please feel free to leave me feedback in the comments or at my contact addresses above.

ciaobaby

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Live-Blogging The 2007 Oscars: The During

[Our wonderful hosts, KG and AC.]

[This entry will be updated after the Oscars for spelling, grammar, etc., missing information, and with photos, links, etc. I will not make note of these updates.

If you care about such things, I'm very sorry for you.

All non-party images courtesy oscar.com except as noted.]

7:55 PM: Here I am at my friends' [KG & AC] place. Get ready for a trainwreck.

Strangely, on a Sunday, I am drinking champagne. Good champage. Indeed -- the best champagne I have had in...weeks!

There is a lot of "oohing" and "aahing". But it has nothing to do with the Red Carpet. I field a lot of questions about "what is live-blogging???"

8:00 PM: We begin the telecast with that crappy animation starring Host Ellen Degeneres and those damn Penguins. Feh.

8:0-whatever PM: The stars are still arriving??? When is this snoozefest ceremony going to begin???

8:10 PM: KG explains the rules of our Oscar contest. Pick all the categories. Grade someone else's ballots [because we can't be trusted to grade our own]. Winner takes 80% of the "entrance fee". 20% of the entrance fee goes toward a trivia contest. I will lose both contests. Even though I am ON THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW.

8:0-whatever PM: Still on the damn red carpet!!! Party Guest HK gives us the bad news that the actual awards ceremony won't begin until 8:30. AWESOME!!!

8:25 PM: No one here is paying attention. We don't care what Helen Mirren is wearing. We are all eating and drinking.

8:30 PM: The telecast finally begins. Some sort of montage of nominees and former winners.

8:35 PM: We introduce "the nominees". Are they going to be on stage? No. They just stand up in the audience. There's Leo in the front row.

8:36 PM: Ellen Degeneres is this year's host. I like Ellen. And I think her low-key dry wit is perfect for the Oscars.

8:39 PM: Ellen makes a joke about all the "pressure" the nominees must be feeling. It's very funny but it goes on waaaaaaaaaaay too long.

8:40 PM: Ellen finally makes a funny: "It's not that we don't like acceptance speeches. It's that we don't like boring acceptance speeches."

8: 42 PM: Ellen makes another good funny -- comparing and contrasting Jennifer Hudson and Al Gore. Also, something about the difference between American Idol and the presidential election. Wait -- is there any difference???

8:45 PM: The first Oscar. Wait -- it's not "Best Supporting Actress"??? No, Oscar decided this year that the best way to combat declining ratings throughout the evening was to MOVE ALL THE AWARDS THAT ANYONE CARES ABOUT TO THE END OF THE SHOW.

[Which just means that a lot of people won't tune in until late. Which should even out the ratings a bit, as those late-tuner-inners balance out the I'm-going-to-bed-because-I-can't-watch-this-snoozefest-anymorers.]

So, Nicole Kidman & Daniel Craig present the award for "Art Direction".

It's going to be a long nite.

The winner: Pan's Labyrinth.

8:48 PM: Maggie Gylenhaal appears to talk about something about sound technical something or other. One of those "pre-ceremony" awards.

8:52 PM: Will Ferrell, Jack Black, and John C. Reilly perform a very funny musical number about how Oscar doesn't like funny movies. It's all very funny -- everyone at the party and in the auditorium laughs.

I guess it's funny because it's true.



8:57 PM: Completely non-ironically, these three stick around to present the award for..."Makeup".

Seriously.

The winner: Pan's Labyrinth.

8:59 PM: Rob: "IT'S A SWEEP FOR PAN'S LABYRINTH!!!"

9:00 PM: Abigail Breslyn [Little Miss Sunshine herself] and Jaden Smith [Will Smith's kid, who plays...wait for it...Will Smith's kid in The Pursuit Of Happyness] bound onto the stage to present the nominees for...wait for it..."Animated Short".

GET IT??? "ANIMATED SHORT"???

The winner: The Danish Poet.



9:03 PM: The kids stick around for "Live Action Short".

GET IT??? KIDS??? "SHORT"???

The winner: West Bank Story.

9:12 PM: Some "group" of people called "Elements & Motion" "perform". Apparently, they are "famous" for making sound effects with their voices. Rob: "who are these people"? Party Guest: "Frankly, if you've never heard of 'Elements & Motion', you've lost all credibility as a blogger".

We all laugh. Because it's funny.

[And you can trust me when I tell you it's funny, because I'm a blogger. Seriously.]

9:14 PM: Steve Carrell and Greg Kinnear appear to present the award for...wait for it..."Sound Editing". They make jokes about themselves and the importance of sound editing.

It's about as funny to watch as it to read...or blog.

The winner: Letters From Iwo Jima.

9:18 PM: JESSICA BIEL and some guy whose name is actually "who cares?" appear to present the award for "Sound Mixing". [Actually, his name is "James McAvoy". But I was too distracted to hear that.]



[Regular readers know that DHMBIB <3's Jessica Biel.]

The winner: also is actually named "who cares?" -- JESSICA BIEL is presenting the award.



[Jess on the Red Carpet. The party consensus was that it was a "nice" dress and she looked very "beautiful". However, there was some dissent. I think from the ScarJo fans in the house.

Image courtesy jessicabielcentral.com. Seriously. And I'm not ashamed to admit it.]

Sorry. The winner: Dreamgirls.

[I am passing on the obvious opportunity to make a "Jess is my dreamgirl" joke. Thank me for it at your leisure.]

9:21 PM: Rachel Weisz appears to present the first "big one" -- "Supporting Actor".

Of course, Eddie Murphy will win.

The winner: Alan Arkin.

Is this the first "upset" of the evening? Was it the fatsuit???

9:28 PM: WTF was that??? An interpretive dance something. Time for a break.

9:31 PM: James Taylor and Randy Newman perform "Our Town" from Cars, the first of the "Original Song" nominees. We give the song a collective "thumbs down".

9:34 PM: Melissa Ethridge performs another nominated song, "I Need To Wake Up" from An Inconvenient truth. We all laugh at the "karaoke" going on behind her.

9:36 PM: Star alert!!! AL FUCKING GORE and LEO FUCKING DICAPRIO come on stage. Leo asks Al if he wants to announce anything. Al says, "Thanks, Leo, but I'm here for the movies". Leo then proceeds to kiss Al's ass in a big green way. Then something about the Oscars being green. No one here knows what that means.



[Classic style is always classy.]

Then Leo asks Al if he's sure there isn't something else he wants to say. Al starts into a very earnest speech, noting the historic nature of the occasion, the large audience, etc., and then "My fellow Americans..." And then the orchestra plays him off.

This gets the biggest laugh of the night.

Al and Leo exit stage right, congratulating each other on their funny.

9:41 PM: In honor of the Oscars being "green", Ellen "recycles" some jokes. They are supposed to be "old" jokes. They are not funny.

9:42 PM Cameron Diaz appears to present the award for "Animated Feature". [Get it??? She was the voice of Princess Fiona in the Shrek movies???] The "nominees" are shown in animated form in the audience. That is funny.

The winner: Happy Feet.



[The consensus of the group on this dress? Do I need to tell you???]

9:44 PM: KG breaks something in the kitchen. We all miss the Penguins' acceptance speech. THANKS KG!!!

KG's mishap forces her to change dresses. But fortunately for DHMBIB readers, she changed back after her dress dried out. Pictures to follow.

9:49 PM: Helen Mirren and Tom Hanks appear to present the award for "Adapted Screenplay".

It's awesome to hear Helen Mirren -- or anyone on the Oscar stage -- say these words: "Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan".

The winner: The Departed.

Oscar obviously does not know how to goose ratings.

9:55 PM: Chris Connelly takes us out to commercial with some sort of weird "horse-racey" thing.

Yeah, Oscar. That's what you need to do.

10:00 PM: Ellen walks out on stage with one of those front baby carriers holding an Oscar. The joke is not very funny.

10:01 PM: Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt come out and do some unfunny shtick that is supposed to remind everyone of The Devil Wears Prada. But they do make a joke about Meryl Streep's character, and the camera cuts to MS, who has an unhappy look on her face. Perfect acting. It brings down the house [the Kodak] and the house [the KG].

AH & EB present the award for "Costume Design".

The winner: Marie Antoinette.



[Apparently, Anne Hathaway was in the kitchen with KG during "the mishap" and didn't have time to change before her presentation. We aren't digging whatever was the idea behind this "costume design".]

10:05 PM: Tom Cruise comes out to present the "Jean Hersholt Humantarian Humanitarian Award" to Sherry Lansing. There is some very "inside-baseball" stuff associated with this, but I don't have the time or the inclination to do anything other than link to it. Something to do with "everyone hates Sumner Redstone".

We mute the TV for the trivia contest. I am ineligible for this because, you know, I'm on the googles...

10:10 PM: Ellen wanders in to the audience and finds Clint Eastwood. She sits in his lap and gives Steven Spielberg -- two seats over -- a camera and asks him to take their picture. Even without sound, it's humorous.

UPDATE: BREAKING: Ask A Muted TV No Questions And It Will Tell You No Lies...

DHMBIB operative Sttaci sends in this report:

" It's actually too bad you missed the Ellen & Clint Eastwood part, one of the funniest...she actually didn't sit in his lap. He asked her if she had a script for him like she did for Martin, to which she replied that she didn't and she actually was hoping to get a picture for her MySpace page and asked Spielberg to do it to make the comment cooler. She then made him take three pictures until she liked it...problem with parties, you never know if you'll miss the funny stuff...ah well. "

[Unfortunately, the "joke" falls a little flat in the Kodak because no one there knows what "MySpace" is -- Ed.]

10:12 PM: Gwyneth Paltrow appears to present the award for "Cinematography".

The winner: Pan's Labyrinth.

Some people think Gwyneth Paltrow was among the "worst dressed" of the evening. I didn't think it was that bad. She's been worse. What do you think?



[Image courtesy yahoo.com.]

10:21 PM: Naomi Watts and Hugh Jackman [sorry!] Robert Downey Jr. present the award for "Visual Effects".

The winner: Pirates Of The Carribean: Dead Man's Chest.

10:23 PM: Rob blogs: "This party is better than this show." [How very meta -- Ed.]

10:25 PM: Catherine Deneuve and some other guy appear to present a "tribute" to "foreign language films". It's very long and boring. Everyone here thinks it's waaaaaaaaaay too long.

10:30 PM: Clive Owen and Cate Blanchett appear to present the award for "Foreign Language Film".

GET IT??? THEY'RE BOTH "FOREIGN"!!!

Oscar, you are splitting my sides!!!

The winner: The Lives Of Others.

10:31 PM: Heading to the commercial break, the weird interpretive dance people -- with the assistance of Ellen -- give a shout-out to Snakes On A Plane. I inquire and find that I am one of only three people at the party [out of 18 or so] who actually saw SOAP. One Party Guest suggests that the three of us should have our Oscar-Party passes revoked for this terrible transgression.

10:33 PM: George Clooney appears and makes a joke about "drinking backstage with Jack Nicholson and Al Gore. Apparently, he's not running for President."

GC presents the award for "Supporting Actress". FINALLY!

The winner: Jennifer Hudson.

10:36 PM: Jennifer Hudson gives the teariest acceptance speech of the nite.



[And I am telling you I'm not going...to stop crying anytime soon.

Obvious joke. Sorry.

Okay, I have to call a little "bullshit" on this whole "second chance at stardom" meme that has developed around Jennifer Hudson. Jennifer Hudson was one of three head-and-shoulders-above-everyone-else singers on AI3. But there can only be one "winner" of AI. So everyone else has to be "voted off". One of those "everyone elses" was Jennifer Hudson -- and the "winner" was at least her equal. "Dreamgirls" put Jennifer Hudson in front of people who *don't* watch American Idol. People who do watch American Idol already knew she was a star. End of rant.]

10:42 PM : Who are these presenters??? [UPDATE: We are reliably informed waaay after-the-fact that they were Gael Garcia Bernal and Eva Green -- Ed.] Anyway, they present the award for "Documentary Short".

The winner: The Blood Of Yingzhou District.

Yawn.

10:45 PM: JERRY SEINFELD??? Of course, that makes SO MUCH FUCKING SENSE!!!

Jerry makes a few good funnies. He calls the nominated documentaries "very depressing".

JS presents the award for "Documentary Feature".

The winner: An Inconvenient Truth.

[Everyone knew this was going to happen. I won't even bother with a "BREAKING" joke.]

KG, two weeks ago: "It's nothing more than a glorified PowerPoint presentation!!!"

Al Gore joins Davis Guggenheim et al. on stage. "We have everything we need to solve the global climate crisis, except for the will to act, which is a renewable resource."

Best line of the nite.



10:50 PM: Clint Eastwood appears to introduce a mongtage about some Italian Dude's scoring [Whoa!!! -- Ed.]. Everyone is bored.

[I have learned that Italian Dude's real name is Ennio Morricone. But I prefer "Italian Dude", so I'm sticking with that -- Ed.]

10:56 PM: Celine Dion sings one of said Italian Dude's songs. No one knows what it is.

11:00 PM: Said Italian Dude wins some sort of "lifetime achievement" award. His acceptance speech is in Italian. Clint Eastwood "translates" for him. He says "thanks".

11:04 PM: This speech is still going on???

11:05 PM: The modified GM-robot-that-commits-suicide ad runs. The modified ad is more PC but now makes no sense.

11:07 PM: Penelope Cruz and Hugh Jackman appear to present the award for "Original Score". They make a joke about one of the nominees coming "all the way from Baltimore". See, Italian Dude above.

The winner: Babel.

11:10 PM: Ellen introduces the president of the Academy [AMPAS], Sid Ganis. He does his "what is AMPAS?" speech in a taped piece that is sped up and slightly chipmunked-voice. This is a joke about how the ceremony is dragging. It is chuckle-inducing.

11:11 PM: Kirsten Dunst and Tobey Maguire appear to shill for the next Spider Man film present the award for "Original Screenplay".

The winner: Little Miss Sunshine.

11:17 PM: Chris Connelly again. This breathless reporting thing is really unnecessary.

11:20 PM: Oscar-caliber actress [see: Gigli...Actually, better advice: don't see Gigli] JENNIFER FUCKING LOPEZ appears to introduce the Dreamgirls, who perform their three nominees for "original song".

This is definitely the highlight of the evening.

Oscar needs more of the dynamism of someone like Beyonce [and Jennifer Hudson as well]. Beyonce's take on "Listen" has given me goose bumps.

Even Ellen is applauding.

Here are JH and B doing "Love You I Do" and "Listen". There is a lively debate on the internets about which diva got the best of this duel. What do you think?



[AMPAS should change its bylaws to require that at least one picture every year feature a song performed by Beyonce or Jennifer Hudson. Or possibly Shakira. And that said song will be nominated in the "Original Song" category. And that said singer will be required to perform it at the ceremony. That would help TREMENDOUSLY -- Ed.]

11:28 PM: Ellen: "I'd hate to have to follow that. Ladies and gentleman, here are Queen Latifah and John Travolta." John Travolta: "It's nice to see a full-figured woman on the screen singing her heart out." Queen Latifah? Jennifer Hudson? No. "But enough about me".

It's a great line. Scientology has given John Travolta the strength to make fun of himself and all those pesky rumors.

QL & JT present the award for "Original Song".

The winner: "I Need To Wake Up" [Melissa Ethridge] from An Inconvenient Truth.

I'm doing poorly in the contest [of course]. But I got this one right. I always get this one right. Go figure.

Fuck you, Randy Newman!!!

11:35 PM: Will Smith appears to introduce another montagezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

11:42 PM: Kate Winslet appears to present the award for "Editing".

The winner: The Departed.

Okay. It's a lock. Martin Scorsese will finally win his damn Oscar and we can all stop talking about this.

11:48 PM: Jody Foster presents the "people-who-died-this-year" montage.

11:50 PM: BREAKING: OSCARS TO RUN OVER ALLOTED TIME SLOT

11:52 PM: Ellen jokes about the show running latezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

BREAKING: OSCAR HOST READS AREA BLOG, CRIBS JOKE ABOUT OSCARS RUNNING OVER TIME.

11:53 PM: One of Oscar's finest traditions -- the winners of last year's Acting awards present this year's awards in the opposite sex category. Philip Seymour Hoffman appears to present the award for "Best Actress". Everyone notes that PSH's hair looks like he's just rolled out of bed. Or out of the gutter. Or maybe both, if he sleeps in the gutter.

The winner: Julianna Margulies in Snakes On A Plane.

No, seriously, the winner: Helen Mirren.

No surprise there.

11:57 PM: Helen Mirren introduces the audience to "the Queen". It's the Oscar statuette. Har har.



12:02 AM: Here's Reese Witherspoon. I think Reese is the first person to appear tonite that everyone at the party universally loves. This must be the "Best Actor" category.

The winner: Forest Whitaker. Again with the no-surprise thing.

Maybe Oscar could juice things up by giving us a few out-of-left-field surprises. Like: Best Actor - Sacha Baron Cohen.

12:07 AM: Francis Ford Coppola, George Lucas, and Steven Spielberg appear to present the award for "Best Director". Gee, I wonder why these three guys would be chosen for this???

The winner: BREAKING: IN UPSET ABSOLUTELY NO ONE PREDICTED, MARTIN SCORSESE WINS FIRST OSCAR

12:13 AM: Diane Keaton and "Bald" Jack Nicholson present the award for "Best Picture". The consensus of the party is that Diane Keaton's dress is not "Oscar-worthy".

The winner: The Departed.

KG is seriously not happy -- she really wanted Babel to win.

12:17 AM: Ellen bids us all good nite.

Damn, those last four awards blew through fast. Did I say "damn"? Sorry, I meant "THANK GOD"!!!

Ellen Degeneres did a very nice job. This is one of the hardest gigs in showbiz, and she acquitted herself well. Her brand of comedy is funny enough for most viewers, but at the same time inoffensive to them and to the too-big-for-their-britches folks in the Kodak [see: Jon Stewart].



[KG, still looking red-carpet-tacular at the end of the night. Me, well, not so much.]

[Thank you for reading this far. Please feel free to leave comments.]

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BREAKING: Area Blogger Who Knows Nothing About Movies To Live-Blog Oscars

My dear friend KG is [among other things] a movie person. Every year, she throws a big formal Oscar-nite party. I am committed to go this year, because she is my friend, because I promised her I would, and because I made her sit through the Grammys with me two weeks ago.

I am not a movie person and otherwise wouldn't care about the Oscars except for this party. So to make the evening more palatable for myself, I will be live-blogging the Oscars from KG's place.

My half-assed non-movie-knowledgeable blogging should be excruciatingly lame fun!!!

Check it out here in "reel" time.

[Get it??? Har har.]

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This Week In Tonight In American Idol: 20 February 2007 Edition

At the very last minute, I decided I would live-blog American Idol tonight. Sue me.

8:00 PM: Ryan Seacrest tells us that "tonight, You take over". You again. I'm getting tired of You.

For background and ID info on our "semifinal 24", check here. We start with the men -- the women come up tomorrow.

8:02 PM: Ryan tells us that if we don't understand his explanation of how the next 3 weeks will work -- men and women compete among their gender groups, and 2 of each will be eliminated each week until we're down to 12 finalists [6 men and 6 women] -- we can "rewind" and hear it again, then "fast-forward" past the introduction of the judges. In case you took Ryan's advice, Simon tells the contestants that they should "sing well". Too bad he didn't give the same advice to Taylor Hicks last season. [Ooh, snap!!! -- Ed.]

8:11 PM: First up is Rudy Cardenas. Rudy performs "Free Ride" by noted Albino-American Edgar Winter. I've always hated this song, but Rudy's performance is passable. Randy calls it "corny". Paula calls it "fantastic". Paula is drunk medicated. Simon says Rudy does not have a "distinctive voice". Randy agrees. Paula repeats the word "fantastic" 3 times.

8:17 PM: During the first commercial break after the performances have begun, we get a commercial for AI. We hear Chris Daughtry's "Home" as the background music. My sister predicted in response to one of my earlier posts that "Home" would be the AI official "You've Been Whacked!!!" song this season. I think she's right.

8:20 PM: Our first commercial for the series finale of The O.C. Does anyone still care about this show??? Memo to Fox -- why waste an AI lead-in on a fucking series finale???

8:22 PM: Next up is Brandon Rogers. He performs a very lame version of Michael Jackson's "Rock With You". Randy calls it "pitchy" and "not your best performance". Paula reminds Brandon he's not a background vocalist anymore. Simon calls the song "too safe" and says he's much better than his performance.

8:27 PM: Next up is early-favorite Sundance Head. Sundance performs "Nights In White Satin" by the Moody Blues. I've always thought this song was vastly overrated as a "classic rock" song, but I'm sorta [but only sorta] heart-ing Sundance's take on it. Randy -- correctly, alas -- calls it "pitchy" and "off". Paula says Sundance "picked the wrong song". Simon says Sundance was "like Dad at a wedding". He notes that Sundance didn't bring the "rough, bluesy" style he showed earlier. He calls the performance "flat".

I personally hope Sundance survives his subpar performance this week -- I think he has potential in this competition.

8:37 PM: Next up is Paul Kim. During the performance, Paul does something that has never been done on AI before at least 3 different times -- he performs barefoot. Paul performs "Careless Whisper" by George Michael. Another song I never really liked, but I'm really heart-ing Paul's rendition. Randy doesn't like the performance as much as I did, but sees "a lot of potential". Paula says Paul "oversang the song" and was "pitchy". Simon suggests that Paul put his shoes on next week. He calls the performance a "copy", "third-rate" and "not overwhelming".

Never been done before, that whole barefoot thing:



[Paul Kim's gay barefoot performance of a George Michael song looked something like this. Except he was standing. And he didn't have these weird drum guys. And it wasn't as good as this.]

Ryan joins Paul on stage -- without his shoes. Randy asks Ryan why he is without shoes. Ryan responds: "I just got a new pedicure and I wanted to show it off". Ryan Seacrest is approximately as gay as George Michael, Clay Aiken, and Paul Kim.

8:44 PM: Next up is Justin Timberlake-wannabe Chris Richardson. Inexplicably, Chris performs "I Don't Wanna Be" by Gavin DeGraw. Which was a losing pick for Bo Bice back in AI4. Randy misidentifies the song as "an Edwin McCain song" but calls it "the best performance of the night." Paula loves it too. Simon says Chris's voice sounded "small" and "below standard" but predicts the girls will vote him through.

8:55 PM: Next up is Nick Pedro. Nick Pedro famously made it to the Hollywood round of AI5 but "withdrew" just before the door hit him in the ass on the way out. Nick performs "Now And Forever" by Richard Marx. But not very well. Randy didn't like it at all, calling it "pitchy". Paula agreed, saying he didn't have the "magic" from his audition. Simon says, "I didn't think it was that bad, actually." Simon agrees that Nick wasn't as confident as he'd been during the auditions, but predicted he'd make it through this week.

9:04 PM: Next up is Blake Lewis, who performs "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane. Randy expresses surprise at the song choice and calls it "pitchy" but says he liked it. Paula also thinks it was an odd choice but liked it. Simon says Blake is the first singer tonight to "sound like someone from 2007". Simon calls it the best performance of the nite.

9:13 PM: Next up is Sanjaya Malakar. Wouldn't it be interesting to see Sanjaya win -- he's very good -- and see the producers struggle with how to promote him??? Also, FWIW, Sanjaya is the youngest male in this year's competition. Watch for the "age factor" to be important -- both on the stage and off -- this season.

Sanjaya performs "Knocks Me Off My Feet" by Stevie Wonder and does a great job IMHO. But Randy hates the performance and says the song is "too big for you." Paula also thinks he failed to match Stevie's level. Simon calls it "dull" and "the worst performance of the night". All of the judges agree that his age is not a factor in their opinions. Which simply confirms that the judges got Nigel's memo, and that AI is looking for older performers who are more mature and actually connect with the music they are performing.

9:24 PM: Next up is Jack Osbourne Chris Sligh who performs "Typical" by Mute Math. The performance is good, but I think it's a bad song choice. Randy calls it a great song choice and loves the performance. Paula agrees. Simon hates it -- both the song choice and the performance -- which validates my existence. Simon also picks a fight with Ryan and calls him "Sweetheart", which Ryan does not respect. Chris comes back with "I guess I could've sung the Teletubbies". Uhhhh.....

I'm somewhat embarrassed to admit that I had never heard of this band Mute Math before tonight. They're from New Orleans, and they seem to be Killers-wannabes. Here they are performing "Typical" on The Jimmy Kimmel Show:



9:34 PM: Next up is Jared Cotter. Jared tackles "Back At One" by Brian McKnight, which is pretty ballsy. And I'm not a big fan of his performance. Randy calls it "alright" but "not your best". Paula says "there's more to you". Simon calls it "unadventurous" and "nasaly". Simon says he needs "to take a few more risks than that".

9:39 PM: Next up is A.J. Tabaldo, who performs "Never Too Much" by Luther Vandross. Again with the ballsy choices. The performance is good, though. Randy calls it "pretty good", but says A.J. "didn't bring anything new to it". Paula says he did a great job. Simon calls it "good, nothing great, nothing terrible". He also calls it "a theme-park performance".

9:49 PM: Our final performer of the nite is Phil Stacey. Phil is the guy who missed the birth of his child so he could make the auditions. Phil performs "I Could Not Ask For More", which, completely in spite of the fact that it was written by the craptacular hack Diane Warren, I think is actually a good song. "I Could Not Ask For More" actually was an Edwin McCain song. It was also covered by "country" singer and "Dancing With The Stars" veteran Sara Evans [a love for the music of Sara Evans is, I GUARAN-DAMN-TEE YOU, the only quality I share with Tom DeLay]. Randy says it was the best vocal performance of the nite. Paula agrees that after a rough start, he really hit it. Simon agrees the start was shaky, but that he made it "okay", but "didn't nail it". Simon predicts he'll make it through.

9:52 PM: Ryan gets in the first "Britney Spears is bald" joke of the season by commenting that Phil Stacey was "going with the Britney Spears haircut".

9:53 PM: Ryan asks Simon why he was so negative tonite. Simon responds that he doesn't believe in lying to people or patronizing the audience. "It wasn't the best set of performances tonight." But here's your money shot of the nite...Simon: "I'm not going to lie to people. You can do that on your radio show, Ryan." Ouch!!!

*****

Overall, I'd say it was a pretty mediocre nite. If I were forced to predict who will get the boot on Thursday, I would say.... The bottom four will be: Sundance Head, Sanjaya Malakar, Nick Pedro, and Chris Sligh. Of the four, I think Sundance and Nick are the most likely to make it through.

*****

Just because, I leave you with Sara Evans's excellent cover of "I Could Not Ask For More"...

Sara Evans - I Could Not Ask For More [mp3, via YSI]
Sara Evans - I Could Not Ask For More [mp3, via zShare]

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49th Grammys Liveblogging Experiment

Hi!

I had lots of fun liveblogging the 49th Grammys last nite. If you were following along, you may have noticed that my updates stopped shortly after 11 PM. Blogger.com was giving me some problems and not accepting my updates. Blogger seems to have fixed its problems, and I have added the last half hour of my updates [why do the Grammys always run 30 minutes over??? -- Ed.].

Later, I'll go back and compare the the academy's choices [THE DIXIE CHICKS!!!] to mine, and I'll add links and other fun stuff.

Thanks for reading!

ciaobaby

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Liveblogging The 2007 Grammys

[Updated [Monday 2.12]: I have gone back and re-edited the live-blog to clean up some spelling errors and fill in some information I couldn't get my fingers on in the heat of the battle. Also, I've added purdy pictures, and it's all linkified!!! I have not marked the updated or changed information. Yes, I have changed history. If you care deeply about such things, screw you!!! get a life!!! try Google cache.]

Posts appear oldest-at-the-top...

8:00 PM: The Police reform, and to no one's surprise, they're performing "Roxanne". Feh.

8:05 PM: Jamie Foxx underwhelms the audience, who just want to hear some music.

8:06 PM: The award for "Best Pop Collaboration With Vocals" goes to...Tony Bennett and Stevie Wonder for "For Once In My Life".... To absolutely no one's surprise. Stevie dedicates the award to his late mother. Tony thanks "the best sponsor [he's] ever worked for in [his] life", TARGET. TAR-fucking-GET!!!

I'm liveblogging this at my friend KG's place. KG is not a music person, but she was very happy that they won.

8:10 PM: Joan Baez introduces The Dixie Chicks. Hmmm, politics. Just wondering.... Anyways, The Chicks, looking absolutely fabulous, perform for the last time ever, probably. Look for The Chicks to take home 3 trophies.

8:18 PM: Prince receives the biggest ovation of the night [still young, yeah] when he introduces Beyonce. Wonder what that was about? Oh, maybe it has something to do with that Super Bowl thing. Beyonce sings "Listen" from Dreamgirls. Haven't seen it, sorry. KG, who is a movie person, hasn't seen it either. What does that tell you???

8:21 PM: The Black Eyed Peas announce that Booker T & MG's have received a lifetime achievement award. KG thinks that Fergie's dress is atrocious and tacky.



The BEPs then announce Mary J. Blige as the winner in the "Best R&B Album" category for the The Breakthrough. She then proceeds to thank everyone she has ever met. Except for Chevrolet. And Snickers.

8:33 PM: Justin Timberlake performs the excellent "What Goes Around, Comes Around". KG wants to know why he's still longing for Britney if he's bringing sexyback with Jessica Biel and Scarlett Johansson. Best performance of the young nite.

8:37 PM: The Grammys enter the YouTube age. Justin films himself finishing the track. How 2006.

8:39 PM: Pink and T.I. announce that The Doors have received a lifetime achievement award. KG: "But their lifetimes ended a long time ago!!!" Pink looks just as bored as KG.

Pink and T.I. also announce Mary J. Blige as the winner in the "Best Female R&B Vocal Performance" category. Mary J. wins another Grammy. Shaping up to be Mary J.'s nite.

8:47 PM: Stevie Wonder introduces three great singer-songwriters, Corrine Bailey Rae, John Legend & John Mayer. KG is very bored. John Mayer, what is up with that hair???

8:57 PM: Nelly Furtado, Natasha Beddingfield & Nicole Scherzinger [wait, who is Nicole Scherzinger again??? -- Ed.] -- get it? all of their names begin with the letter "N"...get it??? -- present the award for "Best Pop Vocal Album". Nelly says, "How can we follow that?" Could she possibly be referring to the singer-songrwiterzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. What? The Grammys are on? Please, do better than that Corinne-John-John snoozefest. The award goes to...John Mayer. JOHN MAYER??? ARRRRRRRRGHHHHHHH!!!! PLEASE SHOOT ME NOW!!!!

9:04 PM: Shakira & Wyclef Jean perform "Hips Don't Lie". Shakira and her non-lying hips inject a much-needed jolt of energy into the moribund proceedings.



9:09 PM: The first of "The Big Four"...Burt Bacharach and Seal announce the winner of the award for "Song Of The Year"...THE DIXIE CHICKS..."Not Ready To Make Nice"...Natalie Maines gets the first big laugh of the nite: "For the first time in my life, I'm speechless"...

9:17 PM CBS says, "Hey, watch our other shows!!!" Alyson Hannigan and Robin Sparkles Cobie Smulders, stars of "How I Met Your Mother" [the best sitcom on the teevee networks -- Ed.], announce that The Grateful Dead are lifetime achievement winners. KG refuses to make the same "lifetime" joke she made earlier. Then they introduce Gnarls Barkley.

WTF was that??? It most certainly was not "crazy", unless "crazy" is now a synonym for "lame". The Record Of The Year cannot be this boring!!!

9:25 PM: Kanye West and Common announce Ludacris as the winner in the "Best Rap Album" category. KG and I both agree that the rapper-turned-actor has done the best acting job of the night, making the audience and the cameras think he's looking at them instead of at his notes.



9:32 PM: Terrence Howard tells the academy it's hard out here for a pimp. He also announces that Maria Callas is a lifetime achievement honoree. KG: "Since when does opera have anything to do with the Grammy's???"

TH also introduces Mary J., who performs "Be Without You". Mary J. obvs got the memo -- keep it boring. Okay, nice finish, not that boring.

9:40 PM: Mandy Moore, Luke Wilson and Leann Rimes appear on the stage. KG is stunned to see how tall Mandy Moore is -- with her heels, she's even taller than Luke Wilson. Leann Rimes appears to be standing in a different zip code. They present the award for "Best Country Album" to...THE DIXIE CHICKS. Another non-surprise of which I heartily approve. Natalie relishes the opportunity to tweak country radio and country fans. Martie Maguire notes that the Chicks are "genre-less".

9:48 PM: Reba McEntire introduces Carrie Underwood and Rascal Flatts. They are to perform some kind of tribute to two sons of Texas, Bob Wills [yay!] and...wait for it...Don Henley [Don Henley??? - Ed.]. Carrie performs "Rose Of San Antone" as a tribute to Bob Wills. Rascal Flatts perform "Hotel California" as a tribute to Don Henley. This is about "Texas", which is why "Hotel California" makes SO MUCH FUCKING SENSE. Then Carrie returns to perform "Desperado". Because, yaknow, DON FUCKING HENLEY!!! Then Rascal Flatts & Carrie return to perform "Life In the Fast Lane". Damn, Bob Wills' estate must be pretty fucking pissed off right about now.

Three fucking Don Henley songs. Those are the five most depressing words I've written all nite.



KG: "WTF is Carrie Underwood wearing???"

10:00 PM Natalie Cole and Ornette Coleman announce another lifetime achievement honoree...it's Ornette Coleman!!! Carrie Underwood was still backstage, and she can be seen being hustled across the stage to her seat for the requisite nominees crowd shot. That must mean that Cole & Cole are ready to present the second of "The Big Four". Best New Artist. And the award goes to...CARRIE UNDERWOOD. Another well-deserved non-surprise.

10:08 PM Samuel L. Jackson and Christina Ricci [of course!!! makes so much sense!!!] come on stage. KG reminds me that they are both in the movie "Black Snake Moan" with Justin. Of course. This segment has something to do with Motown and R&B. They introduce Smokey Robinson, who performs "Tracks Of My Tears". KG notes that we really don't want to "take a good look at his face". We both note that the intensive botox treatment makes it unlikely that he could even actually cry. Then Nicole Lionel Richie appears to perform the most awesome song in the history of R-and-fucking-B music, "Hello". Then, "Best New Artist" loser nominee Chris Brown appears and performs his hit "Run It". It's the best performance of the evening, which says more about the other performances than about Chris Brown.



10:17 PM Scratch that. Two words -- Christina. Aguilera. Xtina -- who obvs didn't get the memo -- brought the house down with a performance of "It's A Man World". Best. Performance. Of. The. Night.



10:25 PM: NARAS President Neil Portnow makes a pitch for music programs in schools and for kids. Thankfully, the words "file sharing" do not come up in his presentation.

10:30 PM: The people-we've-lost-this-year tribute ends with a bang-up tribute to James Brown. Was that Jamie Foxx dancing on-stage? Props to the academy for recognizing Ed Bradley as well.

10:38 PM: Rihanna and David Spade [isn't he another new CBS show, "Rules Of Engagement"? -- Ed.] introduce Mary J. [again??? -Ed.] and Ludacris, who perform "Runaway Love" from his record. Mary J. and Luda obvs got the memo -- keep it boring.

10:42 PM: James Blunt appears to perform "You're Beautiful", to let the three people who didn't hear this song this year know just how much he sucks. Strangely, Mary J. is nowhere to be seen.

10:52 PM: Jennifer Hudson announces Robyn Troup as the winner of the "My Grammy Moment" contest, which was some kind of lame reality-TV contest promising the chance to perform with JT. JT and Robyn then perform a medley of "Ain't No Sunshine" and "My Love". Robyn looks very nervous but acquits herself well. T.I. joins them for the performance of "My Love".

11:00 PM: Quentin Tarrantino and Tony Bennett award the third of "The Big Four", the "Record Of The Year" award. I've already said that if "Crazy" doesn't win this award, I'll have to give this up, because I obviously have no idea what I'm talking about. And the winner is...THE DIXIE CHICKS?!?!?!?!? The first big upset of the night. "Not Ready To Make Nice" is a great record, but it was not the ROTY. Sorry. Nevertheless, if any song other than "Crazy" is to win this award, it should be "Not Ready To Make Nice".

11:05 PM: THEY STILL HAVE TWO MORE AWARDS TO GIVE OUT??? AND ANOTHER PERFORMANCE??? DEAR GOD, WHEN WILL THIS SNOOZEFEST END???

11:08 PM: Chris Rock makes a "dick in a box" joke -- foreshadowing?? -- while introducing the Red Hot Chili Peppers. The RHCP then perform "Dani California" in the same "yeah, we got the memo" snooze-inducing manner as practically every other performance of the nite [but see: Xtina].

11:16 PM: AL FUCKING GORE and Queen Latifah present the award for "Best Rock Album". Why is this minor award still on the table? My hope -- the academy already scheduled the RHCP and then realized they would not win the AOTY award, and wanted to give them an award after they performed. Does this mean JT has a shot to win AOTY??? Stay tuned.

11:23 PM: Scarlett Johansson and Don Henley present the last of "The Big Four" -- "Album Of The Year". KG says, "I guess we know who was Justin's date to the Grammy's." I blogged previously that I hoped that the weird timing of the presentation of the "Best Rock Album" award indicated that the academy would give this award to JT. KG: "Wouldn't that be interesting to see ScarJo present the award to JT?" Yes, it would. And the winner is...THE DIXIE CHICKS?!?!?!? SHUT UP THE FUCK!!! The second big upset of the night. Natalie makes the best funny of the nite, in her 4th trip to the stage: "I'm ready to make nice".

Major props to The Dixie Chicks!!! Most people predicted ahead of time that it would be Mary J.'s nite, and for the first hour-and-a-half, it sure looked that way. But it was The Dixie Chicks who were the big winners tonite.

I'll have more post-mortem on the 49th Annual Grammys later.

ciaobaby

[pictures courtesy grammy.com, except Fergie Ferg (IDontLikeYouInThatWay)]

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A Few 2007 Grammy Predictions

My live-blogging of the 49th Annual Grammy Awards is only a few hours away! I'm so excited, as this is the first time I've done this. It should be a great nite.

I wanted to put a few predictions on the record. Check back later to see how embarrassingly ignorant I was.

First, the "Big Four"...

* RECORD OF THE YEAR

"Be Without You", Mary J. Blige
"You're Beautiful", James Blunt
"Not Ready To Make Nice", Dixie Chicks
"Crazy", Gnarls Barkley
"Put Your Records On", Corinne Bailey Rae

ROTY is an artist-and-producer award and celebrates the "finished product" of the song. In this category, the academy <3's big hit records that do not embarrass them. "Crazy" is the most kryptonite-solid lock in this category since "Hey Ya!" won in 2004. If "Crazy" is not the "Record Of The Year", then I know nothing about the Grammy's and should just give this up for good.

* ALBUM OF THE YEAR

"Taking The Long Way", Dixie Chicks
"St. Elsewhere", Gnarls Barkley
"Continuum", John Mayer
"Stadium Arcadium", Red Hot Chili Peppers
"FutureSex/LoveSounds", Justin Timberlake

I'm listening to "Taking The Long Way" as I blog this right now, and it's a great album. It's an open secret that the Dixie Chicks will be splitting up after they take home a few grammaphones tonite, so I'm not betting against them in any category tonight, except for this one, and ROTY as already discussed. Of the nominated albums, I think JT's "FutureSex/Lovesounds" is the "album of the year" and is a blueprint for pop music for at least the next two years. Timbaland did some of his best work ever this year, on this album and on Nelly Furtado's album, among others. But, alas, I suspect the Grammy voters will dissapoint me yet again -- remember when Eminem lost to Steely fucking Dan in 2001 and again to Norah fucking Jones in 2003??? -- and go with the safe choice. I predict the Chili Peppers will take home this award for "Stadium Arcadium", a nice single album that was inexplicably stretched out to 11 double-length size.

* SONG OF THE YEAR

"Be Without You", Johnta Austin, Mary J. Blige, Bryan-Michael Cox & Jason Perry, songwriters (Mary J. Blige)
"Jesus, Take The Wheel", Brett James, Hillary Lindsey & Gordie Sampson, songwriters (Carrie Underwood)
"Not Ready To Make Nice", Martie Maguire, Natalie Maines, Emily Robison & Dan Wilson, songwriters (Dixie Chicks)
"Put Your Records On", John Beck, Steve Chrisanthou & Corinne Bailey Rae, songwriters (Corinne Bailey Rae)
"You're Beautiful", James Blunt, Amanda Ghost & Sacha Skarbek, songwriters (James Blunt)

4 of the 5 ROTY nominees get SOTY nods, with ROTY lock "Crazy" being replaced with AI5-winner Carrie Underwood's "Jesus, Take The Wheel". SOTY, unlike ROTY, is a songwriter's award and is all about the song. All of these songs are worthy of this honor -- as is usually the case -- but I predict this will be one of the categories where the academy will honor the Dixie Chicks' long and illustrious career with an award. Plus, "Not Ready To Make Nice" is about free speech and is derivatively anti-war, so academy members can feel like they're making a statement against the war by awarding the honor to the Chicks. If you're looking for an upset here, keep an eye on "Jesus, Take The Wheel" -- the biggest Country song of the year -- or "Be Without You" -- a great "comeback" song by a highly-beloved artist.

* BEST NEW ARTIST

James Blunt
Chris Brown
Imogen Heap
Corinne Bailey Rae
Carrie Underwood

Worthy nominees all. But I think this category is also a lock. Carrie Underwood was the story of the year in Country music and stands head-and-shoulders above these other nominees. But I'm wondering if the academy will exhibit any of its famous anti-Country bias, or any anti-American-Idol bias. If so, a possible upset winner would be James Blunt. Corrine Bailey Rae is a darkhorse favorite for those academy members who filled out their ballots at Starbucks.

And a few quick hits from the Pop categories:

Best Female Pop Vocal Performance...should win: Christina Aguilera ["Ain't No Other Man"]...upset possibility: Grammy-beloved Sheryl Crow ["You Can Close Your Eyes"].

Best Male Pop Vocal Performance...lots of mediocre nominees...I predict Grammy-beloved John Legend ["Save Room"] as the winner.

Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal...more mediocre nominees...another category in which the Grammy voters will probably play it safe...I predict Keane ["Is It Any Wonder?"] as the winner, unless Zach Braff and Mischa Barton are the only voters this year, in which case Death Cab has an outside shot at an upset.

Best Pop Collaboration With Vocals...finally, a pop category with several worthy nominees..."Promiscuous" is my favorite song from 2006..."Hips Don't Lie" was also a huge, excellent song...which means the academy will play it safe and go for Mary J. Blige-and-U2's "One" [they performed it on last year's Grammy's, fercrissakes!!!]...a non-dark darkhorse in this category is "For Once In My Life", because, yaknow, it's Tony Bennett & Stevie Wonder.

Best Pop Vocal Album...the academy will likely give this award to JT "FutureSex/Lovesounds"] as consolation for getting robbed of the AOTY award.

See you later. Enjoy!

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BREAKING: Area Blogger Joins "Live-Blogging-The-Grammy's" Crowd

Hi!

Sorry about the "late notice" for those of you who don't already know. But I'll be "live-blogging" the Grammy's tonight [Sun 2.11]. Keep an eye on my blog at:

http://donthatemebecauseimbloggerful.blogspot.com

Even if you don't keep up with it "live", it should be fun to check it out after the fact.

The Grammy's begin @ 8 PM [EST]. See you then.

/rtm

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META: Breaking: Blogger Googling Results In Loud Echo In Bloggosphere

I'm sorry this couldn't be more timely, but I was busy on other matters for most of Wednesday, and when I finally got free, my "google" went down until mid-day Thursday.

If you've ever heard the old adage that, "in the future, we'll all be doing each others' laundry writing each others' blogs", or you believe that "there are two things you don't want to see being made -- sausage and legislation blogs", you may not want to read this post.

On Tuesday 2.6, American Idol aired an audition show from San Antonio. One of the contestants shown on television was Akron Watson. Watson was shown on the air receiving one of the coveted "golden tickets" to Hollywood.

I watched that show and took some notes about it during the broadcast [sadly, I have neither a TiVo (or similar DVR device) nor a VCR (VeeCeeWhaa???)]. After the show, I worked up a blog post about the show.

Inspired by earlier work done by Eric at deathbycamera, I googled several of the contestants looking for MySpace pages, YouTube videos, etc. etc. One of the hits I received was this story on the Pegasus News site about Watson's invitiation to Hollywood having been revoked just days before he was scheduled to leave. As you can see on this page, the story originally appeared online on 1.31. No one -- no one -- had picked up on it before Watson's appearance on the 2.6 airdate of his audition. In my post, I linked to this story [with attribution] and questioned why Watson's ticket had been torn up. My post went up at 10:39 PM PST on 2.6 [1:39 AM EST on 2.7]. [N.B.: The Pegasus News article was updated at 9:17 PM CST (10:17 PM EST) 2.6, after Idol aired in the Eastern and Central time zones and after I had already found and cached the page, to reflect the fact that Idol aired Watson's audition in spite of the fact that he had already been uninvited.]

Puzzled about the lack of corroborating evidence of this story when I was ready to post my report -- I googled again, and found only the updated page [N.B.: my post reflected the updated title of the PN post] -- I began to wonder if this was some internet hoax. I went to bed wondering whether this story was on the level -- What is "Pegasus News"??? Would I have to "update" my blog??? -- or, if it were, when this explosive news would "filter" in to the entertainment websites.

I should not have been so naive.

Dear reader[s], it is at this point that I must refer you to my earlier disclosure. Take a moment to refresh yourself. Back? Okay, let's go...

On Wednesday 2.7, the entertainment bloggosphere was abuzz about the plight of Akron Watson, the contestant from the Dallas-Fort Worth area who had received the "golden ticket" on Tuesday's show but had been uninvited from Hollywood by the AI producers. Here are some representative post times -- and sources -- of some of these posts:

* RealityTVMagazine -- "10:33 PM 2.6" -- PN [note -- RealityTVMagazine.com uses TypePad for their blog; TypePad is centered in San Francisco; TypePad's website does not specify how the post time is determined or what time zone is used as the default time zone; RTVM's post did not appear in my post-post [ha ha!] google search]

[all dates below are Wednesday 2.7]

* TMZ -- 11:30 AM [EST?] -- PN via RTVM

* BestWeekEver -- 1:43 PM [EST?] -- PN via TMZ

* Stereogum -- 5:30 PM [CST?] -- TMZ

* Idolator -- time unknown -- RTVM [note: RTVM "reported this morning"]

* MollyGood -- time unknown -- TMZ

Okay, DHMBIB, we're getting tired of reading. What's your point?

My point is.... It's pretty clear to me that the big, "well-respected" entertainment sites [*cough* bloggers *cough*] RTVM and TMZ got this story the same way I did -- by googling with a search that looked something like this:

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=%22akron+watson%22&btnG=Google+Search

And the other sites [*cough* bloggers *cough*] got their stories by...reading other blogs.... If you regularly read any blogs, you should not be surprised to read that most bloggers' content is merely recycled from other blogs. Trust me -- I'm not hatin' on this method of creating content. Different blogs have different audiences, and the bloggers behind them blog what they blog because they believe their eyeballs meal-tickets readers want to know about this info, regardless whether it is "original news".

Okay, so we all write each others' blogs, and our readers don't want to know that.

[Go back and reread my disclosure.] But I am especially unimpressed with the work of TMZ here, which advertises itself as the "go-to" entertainment news blog:

" Named one of the year's 50 coolest websites by Time magazine [where is the disclosure??? -- Ed.], TMZ -- a joint venture between Telepictures Productions and AOL -- has enjoyed a meteoric rise to prominence by breaking [emphasis added -- Ed.] the biggest stories in entertainment. From Mel Gibson's DUI arrest and subsequent encounter with law enforcement to Michael Richards' ill-fated trip to the Laugh Factory to the breakup of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's marriage, TMZ dominates the entertainment news landscape by changing the way the public gets their news. Frequently referenced by the media, TMZ is one of the most-cited entertainment news sources, utilized by national network and local newsgathering organizations across the country. "

I was the second site to have this news online. Please think about that the next time you "learn" something from TMZ, BWE, USMag, etc.

"Timing" is "everything".

Thank you. Drive through.

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