This post brought to you in honor of the return of American Idol. Because, ya know, Kelly Clarkson doesn't want anything to do with AI these days.
Which one is AI Season 1 champ Kelly Clarkson [you may have heard of her -- she has been working with Mike Watt recently]?
Maybe this will help you decide...
More here and here.
No comment...
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Kelly Clarkson Doesn't Care About Makeup-Applying People
If This Is What "Seventh Heaven" Is Like, I'm Ready To Die!!!
Did ya catch Jessica Biel at the Golden Globes the other night?
Two words: Gor. Geous.
She'll be a superstar some day. Write it down. [Thanks to Egotastic for the photo.]
We at DHMBIB are not the only ones who <3 Jessie. Justin Timberlake was spied chatting up JB at a Golden Globes after party -- by CAMERON DIAZ!!! Cam reportedly screamed at Jessie, who by now has got to be thinking, "What is all this shit??? First, Lindsay Lohan was all up in my grill for hiring her former assistant, and for being a glamorous and successful actress and stuff. Now LiLo's new BFF Cam is all up in my grill for showing JT why I'm Esquire Mag's 'Sexiest Woman Alive'."
So, how can the broken-hearted fashion-disastered Cam get back at Jessie? Is she responsible for digging this up?:
Oops!
Monday, January 15, 2007
This Is Why We Love Idolator, Episode ---
More posts coming about many important things, but I had to point this out...
I don't like to crib others' excellent posts, but this is just so money I had to post it...From this week's Idolator's "On The Shelf" [new releases preview...links removed -- please click on over to Idolator and give them some love]:
Stacie Orrico, "Beautiful Awakening"
The artist: Squeaky-clean pop singer who lists her influences as Jesus, Lauryn Hill, Ella Fitzgerald, and Whitney Houston.
The sound: Spunky, R & B-tinged Radio Disney fodder.
The first in line: Kids whose mothers think the Hyde-lurking JoJo is too wild of an influence.
Diana Ross, "I Love You"
The artist: The original Dreamgirl heads down the Rod Stewart cover-album path.
The sound: Soupy reworkings of "Always And Forever," "Take My Breath Away," and "You Are So Beautiful."
The first in line: Michael Jackson.
Stars Of Track And Field, "Centuries Before Love And War"
The artist: Blogger buzz band that got snapped up by Wind-Up.
The sound: A product of its Pacific Northwest surroundings: the electro beats of the Postal Service mixed with the massive guitars of Built To Spill.
The first in line: Bloggers who forgot that they downloaded this album last spring.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Okay, I Think You Have Just Jumped The Shark
You. You're starting to piss me off, being everywhere and everything all the time and shit.
I thought it was pretty cool when You were named Time's "Person Of The Year" -- that's, like, even better than winning a Golden Globe!!!. Then, You were named FOXSports.com's "Fan Of The Year" -- and I didn't even know you were a sports fan!!! Okay, so then You were named Spin's "Artist Of The Year", and I felt a little light-headed just being around You and all the attention You were getting. But when I found out Ad Age had named You the Agency Of The Year, I started feeling queasy and a little bit angry -- I knew You would soon be a full-of-yourself twatwaffle.
And now You've really gone and done it.
I heard from a friend today -- not from You, of course, because You've become a stuck-up douchebag who's "too busy" to hollaback to your peeps from the block, of course -- that Paper has put You in charge of their First Annual Beautiful Person Contest. And not only that -- I heard that You've actually got a decent shot at winning:
"Hey, you. Yes, you!...Do you have what it takes to be a PAPERMAG Beautiful Person?"
Fuck You!!!
Tuesday, January 9, 2007
See, This Is Why You Are The Person Of The Year
So, Fall Out Boy were in Albuquerque NM on Saturday night. At one point during the show, FOB roadies were pulling people up on stage to join the band. Eventually, venue security decided that there were enough people on the stage, and one Security Dood got into a fight with a Roadie Dood over the whole thing. A near brawl ensued, and Pete Wentz himself got right in the middle of it to put a beat down on the buzz-killing Security Dood.
18-year-old Josh, a/k/a binxxxthesynister, a/k/a "You", was there and caught the action on his phone:
I Got My Ass Kicked By Someone In Fall Out Boy...
Congratulations You, you've done it again. And you've provided us with our Video Of The Day!!!
********
Which "Taking Back Sunday" song are you [not "You", but you]? According to Josh's MySpace page, he is "You're So Last Summer"...Awesome...
Monday, January 8, 2007
Nobody Puts Milhouse Pete Barney In The Corner
This picture is not Fall Out Boy bassist-lyricist-has-anyone-figured-out-why-he's-the-most-famous-one Pete Wentz, who some people think looks more like Lacey Chabert than a character from The Simpsons. It's also not Fall Out Boy guitarist-what's-his-name-oh-yeah Joe Trohman, who some people think does look like a character from The Simpsons. In fact, it's Bart Simpson's best friend, Milhouse Mussolini Van Houten, pictured here in costume on the set of the film "Radioactive Man", which was filmed in Springfield and for which Milhouse was cast to play the part of Radioactive Man's boy-wonder sidekick, Fallout Boy.
When I started doing this a few months ago, I told "you" -- not " 'You' ", or " 'You' ", or " 'You' ", or even " 'You' ", but one or two of "you" -- that some day I would tackle the burning question: "What's the deal with Fall Out Boy's 80's-pop-culture-obsession in their band name and song titles???" I mean, for example, "Pretty In Punk", "A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More 'Touch Me'", and "Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner", not to even mention the band's NAME [ahem, "Fall Out Boy", which really is a mid-90's pop culture reference, but close enough] or their [awesome] cover of Joy Division's "Love Will Tear Us Apart".
Alas, I'm afraid this will not be that some day, as it seems that not even Pete Wentz can answer that question. Famously [or is that "apocryphally"???] the band took its name from a suggestion yelled out at one of their early shows, maybe-or-maybe-not because what's-his-name-oh-yeah Trohman resembles Milhouse, even though the band [supposedly] didn't understand the [admittedly-very-obscure-Simpsons-geeks-only] reference at the time.
No, alas, this post will hook into something else not even only peripherally FOB-related -- that one of FOB's song [as previously noted] has something to do with "Baby In The Corner".
"Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner" is, as I'm sure my readers know, one of the awesome cheesy awesomely-cheesy lines uttered by Patrick Swayze in that classic 1980's coming-of-age film, "Dirty Dancing". I have wine-cooler-impaired fond memories of that film, and I'm aware that it is the favorite of at least one of DHMBIB's loyal readers.
All of that bloviation is really just an elaborate set-up for a quick post about tonight's [Monday 1.8.2007] episode of the best sictom on network teevee [last item], "How I Met Your Mother". Tonight's story: Robin's teenage [16, I believe] baby sister is visiting BigSis in New York and is "traveling with" her boyfriend of two months [!!!] who "happens" to have family in town. BabySis tells Robin that she plans to lose her virginity to her boyfriend that night, which freaks Robin out and prompts all of the characters to relive their own when-I-lost-it memories. Famously-womanizing Barney tells everyone that he lost it when he was "17 -- 16 -- 14" at "a summer camp" in "upstate New York" where he was "teaching...dance". Here's the memory as flashback'ed by Barney:
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it...
[Seriously, how does HIMYM keep raising the bar like this??? It's got to be embarrassing for the producers of the other sitcoms on the teevee. And seriously, doesn't Jennifer Grey look great???]
As I write, the ep is not online yet at Innertube, but is sure to be within 24 hours. So if you're interested, keep checking back. But at the risk of spoiling it for you, I'll tell you that Barney eventually reveals that he didn't lose it until he was 24 [I can totes relate]. Of course, the story is appropriately hilarious, but if anyone stumbles upon this blog who is facing these issues from either Robin's POV -- or from that of her "Baby" sis, or, heaven forbid, from BARNEY'S POV -- there may actually be some valuable life lessons we can all draw from this ep:
* don't do it [first] with someone you've known for only two months [BabySis]
* don't do it [first] in the dorm [Marshall]
* don't do it [ever] in the bottom bunk -- with someone else in the top bunk [eww, Marshall!]
* don't do it [ever] at a mythical summer resort in upstate New York back in the late-50's-early-60's [Baby, and Baby's sis]..[which you can't, because, well, ya know...]
* don't ever succumb to peer pressure
* don't set it up via SMS [yes, it's 2008 2007, but still...let's bring SexyBack, please...]
* and under no circumstances should you update your MySpace page about the deed before you do it -- Robin's BabySis, I'm looking at you [yes, they name-checked MySpace tonight too]...
********
Hey, Rob, wasn't this post supposed to be about Fall Out Boy? Alright, fine -- here's Pitchfork's review [from Monday] of the new FOB single/video ["This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race"]. Summary: the video is awesome...the song -- eh...And here's Stereogum on the single almost two months ago...
********
I recently found out that Blogger has a character-max-limit of 200 in the "labels" [tags] field for posts. Which means I won't be able to label/tag this with all of the labels/tags I would like...Hmm...
BREAKING: Website Allows Average User To Post Videos And Stuff
Hey, have you guys heard of this site called YouTube? That site's just craaaaazy, man. It's got all these videos and shit that people have uploaded. Is that possible, cuz that just sounds crazy!!!
Anyway, I found this crazy video over there, and even though it's been on the site since February 20, 2006 -- this YouTube site has been around for a year? that's just crazy!!! -- I just saw it. And I'm making it my inaugural "Video Of The Day".
Enjoy.
[Okay, that was clever. As you can imagine, after hearing the audio again, the Tubes have conflicting transcriptions of the lyrics. The consensus looks something like this. YMMV.]
Thursday, January 4, 2007
New Year's Leftovers Are Fucking --
A mega-post full of leftovers and quick takes...As always, in no particular order...
* "Livin' in the shadow of someone else's dream...": From the "Great Moments In Contextual Advertising" department...Ashlee Simpson has her first NipSlip-caught-by-the-papz moment, and Google AdSense is still hating on her -- note big sister Jess's ProActiv ad in the top right [SFW; NipSlip cropped out...phtpthtphtht]:
[The NSFW version of this pic can be found, among other places, here]
So far, there is no truth to the rumor that Papa Joe Simpson ordered Ash to flash the goods to goose Jess's page views [what with Jess's career in free-fall these days, and all]...
There's also a "Grey's Anatomy" joke here somewhere, but I'm too lazy to look for it...
* And speaking of Jessica Simpson...no, not really...: Ex-Mr.-Jessica-Simpson Nick Lachey's new sweetie and MTV VJ Vanessa Minnillo used the word "fucking" during MTV's New Year's Eve countdown show. No, not while describing her and Nick's New Year's resolutions. The actual line in context: "But you know what we're going to do right now? We're about to fucking --". It's about 17 seconds into the clip here:
I feel sorry for poor Vanessa, as she's clearly quite embarrassed about her slip-up. But I snicker at the "those teevee people are still corrupting our youth" media coverage of this incident, even among the "new media" types who should know better.
First, let me just clarify that the FCC regulations that got Bono in trouble for saying the same thing a few years ago do not apply to cable networks like MTV. Second, I refuse to believe that any viewer of MTV's MTV Goes Gold: New Year's Eve 2007 -- or for that matter, any show at all on MTV -- would in any way be offended by hearing this.
When this "controversy" first broke a couple of days ago, MTV publicists issued the requisite mea culpa, explaining that, yes, the show was on a "standard industry 5-second delay", but that "due to the censors being drunk on cheap champagne 'human error'" the slip was not caught.
No, Vanessa Minnillo will not be fired over this "incident". And frankly, given MTV's obvious "eh" reaction to the whole thing, and the FCC's lack of jurisdiction over these things, I wonder why MTV feels any obligation at all to keep the f-bombs off the network.
* vh1.com partying like it's 2003: See if you can pick it out...
* There's a whole post's worth of material in this picture alone: Which post I'll probably be writing soon. Is vh1.com saying that the subtext for the "Best CDs of '06" debate is, "Who was the Producer Of The Year -- Timbaland [JT, Nelly] or Danger Mouse [Gnarls]?" And what would Pharrell and will.i.am have to say about that???
ciaobaby
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
META: Area Music Blogger Gazes Into Navel With Rose-Colored Glasses, Sees Rose-Colored Lint
This is left over from the end-of-the-year holiday crush, but I'm still over the moon about the whole thing.
Like lots of bloggers, I'm always interested to know if anyone out there is actually reading my precious ramblings, or even gives two shits about them. I admit to occasionally doing a Technorati search to see if any other blogs are linking to me [currently, sadly, only my MySpace blog links over here]. And I'm always scanning through my blog to look for any comments that have appeared since my last visit. [Do I need to tell you how many comments I've received at either of my blogs? Do I???]
I know that there are people who are reading, but I have been wondering who might be reading, other than the friends and family I know about.
I recently posted [no links, peruse the archives if you're interested] and jokingly suggested that some well-known music blogger[s] may have stumbled upon my blog and may have been lurking. [BTW, I totally approve of such behavior.] I dropped in some fun "bait", hoping that might lure someone to say hello.
Recently, I received a message from someone[s] -- and I won't reveal who -- who said yes, indeed, she/he/it/them have/had been reading. This was the most exciting news I've received since I've started doing this.
So, if "you" are still reading -- and I don't mean " 'you' ", but "you know who" -- THANK YOU! Thank you for reading, and thank you for reaching out to me. You have affirmed my faith in bloggeranity, and made me the happiest blogger that I personally know.
ciaobaby
BREAKING: Area Music Blogger Posts Positive Review Of "The Dutchess"
One thing we at DHMBIB always look forward to at the start of a new year is The Washington Post's "What's Out and What's In" list for the New Year. The list is always too much of a mish-mash of trying-too-hard-to-make-a-clever-joke-and-missing groaners ["Out: Bible study group...In: Iraq Study Group"] and we're-waaay-cooler-than-you cultural [pop and otherwise] references ["Out: Marchesa...In: Sophia Kokosalaki"] to be taken too seriously, even when it is on the mark ["Out: Anderson Cooper...In: Keith Olbermann"]. And in that respect, this year's list doesn't disappoint.
But one particular entry on this year's list caught our eye: Out: Fergie...In: Lady Sov.
Our friend Chris Cernoch thought this was quite funny, which prompted us to share our belief that "The Dutchess" was, in fact, one of the best mainstream Pop/R&B records of 2006.
Not to take anything away from Lady Sov, who looks to have a legitimate breakout year in the US in 2007. But Fergie's not going anywhere. In fact, we predict that Fergie will remain the go-to Pop/R&B dance Diva through at least the first half of 2007, and that "The Dutchess" will be mined for several hits and will serve as a blueprint for mutliple copycat records yet to come. Nicole Scherzinger, we're looking at you.
Okay, we can already hear you groaning and see you rolling your eyes, but this record really blew us away. Admittedly, Fergie may have benefitted from "the soft bigotry of low expectations", as we only reluctantly clicked "Buy" at the iTMS because we feared the record would contain 13 different mixes of "London Bridge", which was totally annoying us back in August. But we suspected this record would be a huge hit, and probably contained some reasonably good danceable Pop/R&B we could use in some of our DJ gigs.
Boy, were we ever wrong. And were we never so glad to be so wrong.
Beyonce's 2003 smash record "Dangerously In Love" initially set the standard for post-Britney Pop/R&B Divas to follow. [N.B. We place Christina Aguilera in a whole different category of untouchable Pop Diva-ness here at DHMBIB. Hate us if you want.] Beyonce deserved those 5 Grammys she won in 2004. But Gwen Stefani picked up that gauntlet and threw it back down with authority with her 2004 smash "Love. Angel. Music. Baby." "L.A.M.B." was so good, it completely redefined the genre and the public's expectations of early 21st-century Pop/R&B dance Divas.
We were very interested when we heard that Fergie planned a solo record of her own. After all, whatever the haters want to say about Fergie and the Black Eyed Peas, Fergie is the only reason the BEPs are where they are, and why anyone continues to care about them. And will.i.am is an undeniably talented producer. "London Bridge" made us very anxious about the potential disaster ahead, but we at DHMBIB love us a good redemption story, so we decided to give "The Dutchess" a chance.
And boy are we glad we did.
"The Dutchess" has completely reset the bar once again. Go back and listen to "L.A.M.B." again now, and note how outdated and, well, so 2004 it already sounds. In our not-so-humble opinions, "The Dutchess" was even the main reason why Beyonce's latest effort, "B'Day" stumbled so badly -- whatever happened to "Ring The Alarm", anyway??? And you simply cannot hear Gwen's latest effort, "The Sweet Escape", without hearing Fergie's influence -- and Gwen's not-so-subtle attempt to regain her lost ground -- all over the place. "Wind It Up" and "Yummy", anyone???
will.i.am told us with "Pump It" how much he loves to mine "oldies" [in that case, Dick Dale's "Misirlou"] for their potential sample value. On "The Dutchess" he folds part of Little Richard's "The Girl Can't Help It" [although, interestingly, not any part with Little Richard singing] into the brilliant track "Clumsy". It was precisely at the moment when we heard "TGCHI"'s signature horn-and-drum intro, and then again when the classic "she can't help it, the girl can't help it" vocals appeared, that we knew we were listening to something special. Later on in the record, will.i.am reworks The Temptations classic "Get Ready" into the brilliant "Here I Come".
The whole record just overflows with confidence. Fergie knew they had something special here. By the time you get around to the closing track [on the CD -- prepurchasers at the iTMS got 3 bonus tracks!!!] "Finally", you hear Fergie even confident enough to take a shot toward Christina's undisputed place at the top of the pop Diva pedestal, with a well-delivered piano-and-strings-backed torch song.
There are so many good tracks here, it's almost a shame to single out any for sampling. Below we've linked the afore-mentioned "Here I Come" as well as what may be our favorite song on "The Dutchess", the gorgeous love song "All That I Got (The Make Up Song)", which grabs its "money shot" hook from Michael Jackson's "P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)".
Of course, we may be completely out our minds when we call "The Dutchess" one of the best of 2006. Feel free to savage us in the comments or in in your own blog.
Fergie - Here I Come [mp3, via YSI]
Fergie - Here I Come [mp3, via zShare]
Fergie - All That I Got (The Make Up Song) [mp3, via YSI]
Fergie - All That I Got (The Make Up Song) [mp3, via zShare]
Michael Jackson - P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing) (sample) [mp3, via YSI]
Michael Jackson - P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing) (sample) [mp3, via zShare]
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